Lol, sometimes I can remember. I enjoy using specific names, even for non-systems who use more than one. They enjoy it.
I've been genderfluid. It was a burden to expect people to think about my pronouns whilst together.
I didn't take it personally if they couldn't handle that. No offense intended to people who would.
I don't remember who used which pronouns, looking back. I do remember feeling my gender was understood and accepted because they knew what it meant for me.
It's okay to burden people sometimes. It should involve mutual consent, which often goes unspoken & implied on this topic.
(no, 'having SimplyPlural' won't fix this.)
That's about the same as asking them out loud, but I have to find my phone and have WiFi, lol.
I have to remember to check. I have many notifications reminding me to eat and update my own SP, and they rarely permeate my awareness.
If someone wanted my specific support on this, enough to support me back, I wouldn't reject their efforts.
My post isn't about people who support me back, it's about people who act like memory issues shouldn't affect my interactions with them.
It's how often people think I'm lying about forgetting because I 'have a vendetta against them' / view them as invalid... and the projections tend to go on.
Using the right name at the right time
isn't the same as validating and acknowledging their identity in life.
It's just remembering the updates verbatim.
I've seen real piece-of-crap people remember every fronter name, but only as a joke.
You implied you always want bio mom to use they/them.
That's a default, which I'm okay being expected to remember.
If I happen to forget, I'm used to peoples' reactions.
I'm more likely to forget their default name than their pronouns. Happens a fair amount.
Not using fronter names isn't a targeted behaviour unless it's being targeted.
I'll forget your face & that we ever met just as often.
I don't owe anyone anything, but I don't get close to people whom I can't tell about my memory issues. If they end up uncomfortable, they can go.
I forget which part's in front for me...
If people don't """"accommodate"""" me forgetting, I'm guessing.
Use proxy names on messages, remind me, shove your name bracelet in my eyeline,
do it for the sake of us sharing this, not out of spite of me,
or suffer the loss of my epic acknowledgement. /lh /sarcastic tone /genuine statement
I will not remember to remember.
My life would be much easier if I could, I know.
The tone people take on this matter is often presumptuous and lacks perspective - my opinion.
People posting online that "anyone not using the fronter's name hates their specific guts and is Pluralphobic" need to get a clue.
