meh

[kingofthehillcaps]

[faustandfurious]

Some people on this website learnt the word “trope” and let it settle comfortably into the vocabulary space that should have been occupied by the word “cliché”.

“Trope” is a neutral word. If a particular trope is overused ad nauseam, it becomes a cliché. Saying you hate tropes does not make any sense.

[faustandfurious]

“I hate recurring themes and motifs”

Well, good luck finding fictional content you can safely consume

[funnytwittertweets]

[funnytwittertweets]

[vergak]

[toastbutteregg]

[transgarrett]

microsoft outlook is taking the bioware approach and giving me the option to romance my coworker now 

[stjudy]

[foulserpent]

i think my ideal job is being paid 50$/hour to sit on the computer doing whatever i want at an empty rented office space for mysterious employers definitely running some kind of money laundering scheme and just needing me to keep up appearances of one of their shell companies but im not like, in on anything and no one can charge me for anything

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

I'd be the perfect front for your shady company. I always look baffled, I'll never be able to pick you out of a line up, and odds are good I'll forget your name ten minutes after you tell it to me.

[1dietcokeinacan]

We stan JiaHao😭

[agenderss]

[captions]

plaid shirt: my name is tyler and i’ve created a monster

[tyler voiceover]

let me explain:

this is my husband jiahao. one time, i asked him what his favorite game was to play when he was growing up and you know what he said? fire. so for his birthday, i got him a fire pit - see here.

things started out pretty innocent, he would disappear for long periods of time and send me pictures of burnt sweet potatoes, but that was okay.

then he bought a small power saw. THEN the stealing began. well, kind of. he began scouring the neighborhoods for dead trees that were being thrown away so he could drag them home and burn them.

yesterday he said he wanted to go on a long walk, but it was only because he saw sticks next door

jiahao: excuse me, make room

[tyler voiceover]

he also bought a small hatchet, which was a little concerning but um, i take full responsibility for enabling all of this

jiahao: successful. i’m so successful!

tyler: do i have plans of stopping him? no. because i like s’mores and the uh, the opportunity to eat s’mores in this house has increased by like, 200%

[end captions]

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

THIS is the gay agenda

[catboyluca62]

potential arsonist x smores lover is my new favourite ship dynamic

[normal-horoscopes]

Did you know that the Vatican says you spend less time in purgatory if you follow the Pope on Twitter

PAYING MY INDULGENCES IN CLOUT

[theaudientvoid]

the digital ghost of martin luther rises shrieking from the grave…

[xtec]

cereal at 8 am: the poor man’s meal, a poverty feast, delapadated wheat, a mouse’s luxury, bastard scraps

cereal at 12 am: a feast fit for a king, absolute decadence, god’s snack, gorgeous grains, unrivaled hedonism

[chongoblog]

“Damn Post+ is gonna kill Tumblr :/“

As if anything short of the hand of God themself personally dissolving the servers to an atomic level will kill this atrocity of a website

[cutiesncantrips]

[butchhamlet]

macbeth is shakespeare’s funniest tragedy and mr. macbeth is the funniest character in macbeth. he listens to these creepy old women tell him he’s gonna be king and IMMEDIATELY decides the only thing he can POSSIBLY do is kill a guy and then he waffles about it for a full act and finally comes to the conclusion that it’s morally wrong and then HE DOES IT ANYWAY and his entire fucking life falls apart with an inevitability that is genuinely hilarious

[hungwy]

i dont like it when elephant seals give me that look

[hungwy]

[kedreeva]

you take that BACK

[rob-boss]

[funny-tik-toks]

[blastovkatamarinecromancy]

Zazzles: LIES! SLANDER!

[iheartvelma]

you INSULT Zazzles? You insult his reputation like the football?