some pine marten's journal

והדאגה במה שאי אפשר כאב אנוש וחבל ולא יועילו בה תנחומין של הבל vent/rant account. jewish transsexual man. bisexual. taken :) (no dni) if i participate in discourse it's because of that got damned social media addiction and not because i want to ✌️

[pinemartendiaries]

hey everyone 👋 i'm @pinemartendiaries

i am a transsexual man

i am stealth in my day-to-day, and because i don't really have spaces to talk about that part of my life, i decided to make this blog to contain all of that (fair warning: it'll probably be pretty rant-y)

phalloplasty is in my life plan. working through the colossal (for me) nature of that decision will probably be a theme on this blog. if you're also a trans man who has gotten, or is in the process of getting, a phalloplasty, i would love to chat

i am also bisexual 💙💜💖 and taken! there may be discussion of sex & my feelings re: sex on this blog so, y'know, be warned. i don't check every account that follows me but like... don't look at stuff ya shouldn't look at. yakno.

AGAIN: i haven't really been that horny on this blog YET, but this the designated hornyposting blog. peruse at your own risk.

finally, i am jewish, so i will probably be engaging with those spaces as well, and curating my experience for my comfort in that regard

happy (if a little bit paranoid about anonymity) to be here✌️and cheesed to meet you!

[shabbytigers]

okay being jewish has been kind of a downer lately but i need to appreciate it more. i just hurt myself laughing about this thread. it’s all true. it would be even funnier if the last tweet had audio

[bloompew]

> 50/50 chance of being born male. > is born female.

what a joke.

[talons-and-stucco]

[pinemartendiaries]

tired & sick of it all. one of my friends mentioned learning turkish, and when i asked why they went quiet before mumbling that "you wouldn't like my reason" -- as you can probably imagine, hasan was their inspiration 😀

woke up today and fell almost immediately into a conversation with another friend, who believes that it's "silly" to center jews in holocaust narratives instead of "the universal message." i haven't even gotten dressed yet 😀

went to a concert this weekend and the message was overwhelmingly "the world outside sucks, but this room is a supportive space" -- yeah, sure, except the opener played a song that, who would've guessed, weaponized the holocaust against jews 😀

[pinemartendiaries]

parents opposed to me wearing a kippah for safety reasons. euauargh

[jewish-vents]

I wish I could still watch Dropout. But I can't.

.

[pinemartendiaries]

welp. i got a goy to like gefilte fish 🤨

[pinemartendiaries]

exam scheduled exactly during my hillel's purim celebration :( no mishloach manot :( no hamantaschen :( class/travelling all day tomorrow too

[magnetothemagnificent]

Could you please explain to me how and why exactly jewish men face demasculinization? Ive never really seen anyone talk about that, only the way you guys are seen as predators /genuine

The ancient Greeks and Romans viewed circumcized penises as less masculine and undesirable.

The medieval Europeans believed Jewish men were so emasculated that they menstruated.

Post-Industrialization Europeans and the Nazis believed Jewish men were pseudowoman homosexual predators.

In modern times, we see this in the way people talk about Jewish male celebrities, commenting on their heights (which tends to be shorter), saying they're "not like other male celebrities", and commenting on their voices, especially if it's a little heigher than others. I mean, just look at the way people talk about Jewish men they don't like? The way people comment about Ben Shapiro's height, his masculinity, his voice.....You don't get to be antisemitic just because you're talking about a Jew you don't like. When you're antisemitic to one Jew, you're antisemitic to all Jews.

The history of the demasculinization of Jewish men goes back a long time.

[bonyassfish]

I think another reason is also because broadly in Jewish culture, what’s considered masculine or desirable for men doesn’t really line up with like white western christian (esp American) ideals of manhood

Like take the prototypical American red-blooded man: he’s physically strong and large, aggressive, overprotective (esp over women in his life), and is certainly not in touch with his emotions, lest he be labeled as wimpy, over sensitive, or perhaps gay

On the other hand, in Jewish culture, esp ashkenazi Jewish culture, ideal masculinity is a bit different. Our culture celebrates men who are gentle and kind (the nice Jewish boy archetype), intelligent/intellectual/well-educated, and able to provide for their families.

Which is why you often have interesting case studies of Jewish men who, when faced with challenges to their masculinity, may sometimes double down on more negative or toxic traits to prove their manhood. The movie uncut gems is a perfect example of this, as is Marty and Andrew glouberman from big mouth

[magnetothemagnificent]

Yep!

The best example of this is the dichotomy between Yaakov and Esav in Tanakh. Yaakov is gentle, quiet, he sits in tents and studies Torah, he helps women at the well. Esav is tough, he's hairy, he hunts, he's muscular. Yaakov is the one seen as attractive and desirable.

Yosef and Moshe are also examples of this.

[hero-israel]

Another factor leading to gentiles mocking Jewish men as un-manly is the pronounced expectation of social / educational / career mobility for women in most American Jewish communities. In the 1930s, fully 50% of all women enrolled in college in the state of New York were Jews. (READ THAT AGAIN: not "half of Jewish women were in college," half of all college women were Jewish!) To this day, adjusted for population, Jewish women are about 20% more likely to get a college degree than non-Jewish women. While absolutely still facing sexism and backlash, Jewish women were accepted earlier and more widely in education and the professions. Jewish society conspicuously normalized women having more of an active financial role supporting the family, including as primary "breadwinners". Other communities, with very different views of the proper role for women, observe a Jewish man listening to his spouse as an equal and call him a man too weak to control his wife.

(Readers who are fortunate enough to have *not* encountered the above sentiment - assuming there are any - should just try to imagine what things were like in 1970).

[transgenderpolls]

Trans people with physical dysphoria: Do you ever have dreams where the things that make you dysphoric get worse to the point of body horror?

yes, i have dreams like that frequently

yes, i have dreams like that sometimes

i've had a dream like that maybe once

i'm unsure if i've had a dream like that

no, i've never had a dream like that

it's complicated

i don't remember my dreams/see results

Voting ended onMar 7, 2025

[pinemartendiaries]

(just replying to this, but it's nsfw)

i've had the classic surgery fear dreams (e.g., oh no my dick's falling off), but in one of my most jarring nightmares, my own bleeding genitalia had taken the place of my mouth. i couldn't vocalize or move my jaw muscles, and blood was dripping down my face. i remember looking at myself in the mirror and freaking out. very scary!

[yiddish-american-princess]

“why are you learning yiddish and not hebrew”

1. cause yiddish was stolen from my ancestors due to assimilation incentives by america

2. who said in not learning hebrew???

[pinemartendiaries]

just found definitive evidence of a male fursona from when i was 12

[pinemartendiaries]

aaand just found a story i wrote when i was 13 where everybody had the power to shapeshift only once, and one of the main characters unconsciously did so in order to transition 🤣

[pinemartendiaries]

just found definitive evidence of a male fursona from when i was 12

[pinemartendiaries]

hate to say it, but it is not looking like a good time to be a transsexual autistic american jew

[pinemartendiaries]

coming out!

[pinemartendiaries]

got high and spoke with the comfort centipede.