Please Hit Me With Rocks

Tantalus || He/It || 26

[please-hit-me-with-rocks]

About Me

My name is Tantalus; you can also call me Tansy or Tan

I'm part of a system

I'm 26

I'm married and monogamous

I'm Transmasculine & use He/It pronouns

I'm chronically ill, currently in withdrawal because I fucked up getting all my meds before going out of state, I'm going to be dumping the results of that brain scramble here Doing okay. We upped my meds some more. I can kind of climb into cars without totally exerting myself for a minute.

My screen name here is in reference to a sort of non-sexual masochistic situation I imagine when I am feeling especially Unwell Upstairs

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

My tags

#tantalus tormented: Vent Tag

#tantalus tantalized: NSFW Tag

[vivianventure]

my photocards. more definitely on the way

they’re shiny too (thank you ev)

[homunculus-argument]

I like that the only reason we can't domesticate hyenas is because they are simply too powerful. You could take one with you to a city on another continent, leave for work in the morning and then by lunch the beastie shows up at your job like "hi bud I think you accidentally forgot me at home :3 but it's ok I'm here now!" because once alone it chewed trough a brick wall, bent out a cast iron gate, and tracked the faintest scent on asphalt through a completely unfamiliar environment to find you.

Also caught and ate a few pigeons, two outdoor cats, and a small dog on the way. A quick snack.

[sistersorrow]

The low cunning of feline software, running on the hardware of a dog-like that would probably be bred to hunt bears

[homunculus-argument]

Essentially: A house cat that's built like a pitbull but twice as large as a regular one. Shits ash balls and pisses sulphur.

[ryan-sometimes]

I hate people who call themselves “brutally honest” when really they’re just mean. You don’t need to be brutal to be honest. You can deliver the truth in a way that’s direct yet kind. If you only use the truth to hurt people, that’s not honesty. It’s just being an asshole

[lonelydesolate]

genuinely just saw someone say transmascs 'transition into the highest form of privilege society allows'. what are we doing here

[rizahawkeyepierce]

dam they transition into billionaires????

[kindofabastard]

Yeah as soon as I changed my pronouns on amino when I was 15 I got called by the government and given one trillion dollars. I thought that was common knowledge??

[theangryman]

the majority of trans men immediately squander it on alcohol, gambling, and expensive cars because of our intense toxic masculinity/desperate need to do male stereotypes because we’re silly billies who don’t realize we can just be gender non conforming lesbians

so it’s a common misconception

[naga-noia]

upon changing my pronouns to he/him all of the melanin was sucked out of my body and all of my physical and mental disabilities were cured. I check my bank account and it says one mascutillion dollars deposited directly by jeff bezos

“welcome to the boy’s club,” he said to me with a smile and a wink. thanks big JBeezy

[crippled-peeper]

I am sitting here realizing I have no clue how ablebodied people live

[crippled-peeper]

“I’m unimpeded by society’s physical barriers, I can move all 4 limbs, I’m not imminently worried about my decline or death, and with all of that freedom I choose to scroll through content that makes me mad all day” GO DO JUMPING JACKS MAN WHY ARE YOU ON HERE . ESCAPE. ESCAPE. RUN!!!

[goatedgreen]

every person you meet will have one bit that only they find funny. it is important that you hate that bit as much as possible in order to enrich their experience of doing the bit. it is part of the enjoyment of the bit

[homunculus-argument]

Art style things that will always be funny to me:

When a comic, cartoon, etc, primarily focuses on people who are not white, so the art style is "calibrated" specifically for them - I don't know how to explain that in a way that'd make more sense, just that the way that this art style depicts these people is the default state of how it depicts people. So if/when a character who is White People shows up, the mf looks like this:

[latibulater]

they should've had physically improbable sex

monstrosso brought this tiny malpracticing surgeon to his giant spider boat and gave him a real degree and in turn the little man not only finished the heart surgery but also is keeping him alive from gov agents

REALLLL size difference yaoi not any of this 6 inches, just under the guys head type of foolishness

[latibulater]

This banger came up in my notes

did monstrosso have a Lil crush on billy

yes 💔

no 🫣

Voting ended onFeb 6

[latibulater]

Omg someone finally voted no that person was Billy

[what-even-is-thiss]

Taking up Japanese as a side project for myself has reminded me of something.

So like a long time ago I had a professor that I absolutely adored. She happened to be Japanese American. She grew up speaking Japanese at home but never really spent a lot of time in Japan. She mostly spoke with other Japanese Americans and read books.

So one day early in her teaching career there’s an exchange student from Japan who’s having a hard time understanding a concept so she explained it to him in Japanese and then he looked absolutely rattled. Like in shock. Pale.

This is how she learned that the way she speaks Japanese makes her sound like a gang member.

Japanese doesn’t exactly have cuss words in the same way as English does but imagine that the nicest professor you’ve ever had pulls your paper over and says “Okay listen here you little piece of shit I’m gonna fucking explain this to you. Violently.”

[rohirric-hunter]

We laugh at how The Art of War is basically just, "An army can't fight if the soldiers aren't eating," but I'm reading this document about conservation of ancient yew trees and it legitimately says, "You should never fill the center of a hollow yew with concrete," so I think that probably making blatantly obvious statements is just the bane of being a specialist in anything

[chlostars]

my fave overheard on campus moment of all time was the two guys who sat behind me in pop culture theory

as class was starting one of them was like “so… do you want a blowjob after this” in a rly bored voice, and then the second guy was like [pause][dejected sigh] “yes”

[tboyreject]

[shaking a transmasc egg by his shoulders] your existence as a man is not anti-feminist, the world is a brighter place with you in it. nothing of value will be lost, you don't deserve to spend your life in a closet, the most radical thing you can do is to exist authentically. i will always cheer for you, i will always celebrate you.

[kiwisandpearls]

”this is the autism website!”

you guys still make fun of people who can’t hold a normal 9-5 job, struggle with phone calls, generally don’t want to or can’t go outside, have not so great reading comprehension, have a hard time making small talk, struggle with picking up on sarcasm, and struggle with getting the joke

[i-suggest-love-deactivated20260]

This is the autism website ONLY if you can do everything yourself and not be annoying ❤️

[what-even-is-thiss]

The villain doesn’t usually see themself as a villain. Unless they’re an evil wizard or evil scientist. Those guys are assholes on purpose and the line between an evil scientist and an evil wizard is basically just wardrobe and personal aesthetic preferences tbh.

[enki2]

[please-hit-me-with-rocks]

I don't think the drug testing place needs to reek this badly of piss

This is a sensory fucking hell