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@plurality-venting
Welcome to the blog!! This is a safe place for plurals / systems and those questioning plurality to vent and share advice with each other! This blog is ran by the mellifluous system, however it is mostly Angel who operates this blog.
anon tags : 🐝 (ask to be added or removed)
Rules are below the cut!
I feel as though my fellow headmates aren't too fond of me. I've recently formed about two days ago, as well as another fictive of ours. And ever since I've formed, I've gotten quite the judgmental looks from some other alters.
Is it because of who I am? Is it because of my source? They don't like the other fictive from the same source all that much, so maybe I'm not liked because of that too. Is it because of what I do? Because of what my beliefs are?
I only want to help out in this system. So why do my headmates not like me?
-🪻🔆
.
Tw: Exotrauma, possible ED talk, force-feeding/abuse, vomit/sickness, panic attacks. Sorry if I forgot any warnings, I am having a panic attack atm and am not thinking right.
I am having a terrible day. I am forced to front without the host co-fronting or even co-con and no one who is fronting is good at having a singletsona. I am also really fucking sick. I keep vomiting which not only sucks, but it also reminds me of some in-source trauma.
I remember being force-fed yoyleberries multiple times and puking them out and it traumatized me in source so badly.
At least I get to watch Coke Francis, but I am still in pain.
Flower Speaker Box, White, and X are trying to comfort me, but I can’t handle this shit. I am really struggling and I don’t know what to do.
I need a break…
-🔥📦
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warning upfront ; mentions of forced dormancy & lingering paranoia from that (i suppose...? im bad with warnings, sorry)
✦✦✦
it's so weird to be able to exist as myself again. it's been so long since i formed and subsequently smushed down by an old host because they didn't know what plurality was and then the host that took over didnt want to have "THAT source" (their words) fictive because he was worried people'd hate us
that's kinda just made me... scared? not scared. but like. i'm worried to say anything about my fuckass source or who i am because it's been engrained into me to worry about being sourced from a now-problematic thing.
i have so much to say about my source too! i have memories and wants and likes and things that still scare me. but there's a nagging feeling whenever i think about venting to anyone about the bullshit my source was that they're going to shut me away again, because god fucking forbid a dsmp fictive talks about his source.
i don't know. i think im getting better about that. i like existing, i want to keep existing. maybe its the general fear of perception rubbing off on me. i think i can eventually manage to be more open about it. (bit of a happier end than just leaving it off sadder)
~🐝[he/him] of 💫🛸 collective (if anon tags are allowed :] )
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not a vent but thank you for making this :3 all the other blogs like this we see are either anti-endo or inactive so we're really happy to see an accepting blog focused around giving plurals a space to vent
You're welcome!! :3
every headmate is as equally deserving of autonomy. this is true regardless of what their innerworld form is like. this also does always apply regardless of what their role is, in tandem with how this is true regardless of what their innerworld form is. it is also entirely reasonable and rational to be upset about being excluded just on the basis of your roles, your innerworld form, and any combination of that.
Warnings: mentions of violence without reason, slight suicidal ideation.
We're... Too harsh on a new fictive. We're an all fictive system of 6. He formed last night, and one of my headmates asked me to beat him up. I did. I thought he would only hurt us. The one in front earlier today reported they heard screaming. I'm looking back through texts the new fictive sent about this, and said he wishes to unform. He says he doesn't need sympathy from others, and I'm on the verge of tears. I'm so so so sorry Nevada for such an unwelcoming environment I helped cause. We'll try to make things better for you. I want you to stick around.
— Yau of @schrodingers-sys .
Its good that you understand that you made a mistake, and are learning from it! Don't be mean to yourself about it. Hopefully Nevada will understand.
The sad thing is I don't think he will. He's called himself "fundamentally juxtaposed" from us. We barely have internal communication, but the Radio [yes, this is a headmate - not a fictive, but cannot front] has on a song Nevada likes at the moment, so hopefully when he fronts again he'll be happier.
Try giving him some space for now, and let him do his own thing. Not really sure how to help, but I'll try my best to listen to you /gen
Warnings: mentions of violence without reason, slight suicidal ideation.
We're... Too harsh on a new fictive. We're an all fictive system of 6. He formed last night, and one of my headmates asked me to beat him up. I did. I thought he would only hurt us. The one in front earlier today reported they heard screaming. I'm looking back through texts the new fictive sent about this, and said he wishes to unform. He says he doesn't need sympathy from others, and I'm on the verge of tears. I'm so so so sorry Nevada for such an unwelcoming environment I helped cause. We'll try to make things better for you. I want you to stick around.
— Yau of @schrodingers-sys .
Its good that you understand that you made a mistake, and are learning from it! Don't be mean to yourself about it. Hopefully Nevada will understand.
TW: Mentions of drowning
Being a not-canon-compliant fictive is so weird, cuz like. The part where I'm best friends/possible partners with someone? Yes, I absorbed that, we are literally married now. But the part where I tried to f#cking DROWN THEM a year before we were friends?? No I would never do that, what the hell was source me thinking?!
This might be too specific to my situation, but I just wanted to get that off my chest.
I didn't absorb The Horrors as part of my lore and neither did he, but it still sucks to see in source lore.
-🎙🚂
Yeah, I kind of understand that! We have a natsuki fictive and in her universe Monika was never self aware. so she's kind of shocked that monika did all of that. Monika was her friend, you know? She wants to see the best in her!
Be us
Discover that we are system
Everybody deny this bc we are autistic??
Autism doesn't mean you can't be a system! Those people are highly misinformed. So sorry you have to deal with this.
Hihi :3
Just a quick, small question (warning for just mentioning discourse)
Having no discourse makes sense to make this a safe environment for everyone, just am wondering if vents ABOUT discourse apply to that? (example, “friends turned out to be antis and turned against me”)
Just curious and wanting to clarify :3
As long as you aren't arguing with people or trying to rile them up, it's fine. Venting about discourse is 100% ok
