Asexual Arsonist

SUPPOSED to be Greek myth sh*tposting focused on Elpis n' co, but I am very easily distracted. Oh and I also refuse to cuss (without at least censoring it)

[baejax-the-great]

Honestly Homer only published twice and both of those books were just retellings of ancient Greek myths so like idg what the big deal is anyway

[baby-all-the-time]

Y’all I’m reading this book about Monsters, it was made for kids but you know what who cares sometimes you need the spark notes anyway, LOOK AT THE WEAKNESS THEY HAVD LISTED FOR MR.HYDE

[philanthrofic]

Is This A Crackship?

Eren Jaeger (Attack On Titan)/Kafka Hibino (Kaiju No. 8)

Yes

No

Cross Ship

Rarepair

Other (Put In Tags)

Voting ended onJul 22

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

This is genuinely very funny to me

[valtsv]

i feel like if you stabbed an angel the blood trail would look like this

[amazoogle]

[kvothbloodless]

Hey. Hey!

[puke-ur-gutz]

[likepetalswealleventuallyfall]

im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to 

spiderman dances to the beat

no matter what song ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour

[hey-akaaaashi]

woah how did they get a direct quote from clamp in there

[dreamerwitches]

Finally, some good fucking food

The theme is so weird. Some are cats, some are maybe lizards. But i adore them all

[possiblyhomer]

So that's why she's the Abyssal Witch...

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

ohhh my god I just fact-checked, Nolan actually DID cut the "Nobody" scene from his Odyssey movie. Mfer that is like cutting the Father reveal from Star Wars. Let me speak in a language you understand this is like not dressing Batman up in his suit. "It was not possible to work it in" the TikTok musical with a budget of $4 and a scratched Hamilton CD managed to work it in in SONG form, step up your FUCKING GAME

[dragoninhumanskin]

This genuinely made me want to not watch it

[daysleftofsecondterm]

I thought I had nothing to say but I do.

Even the Arthur retelling of The Odyssey includes the “my name is Nobody” gag. And if an Aardvark can get that right, I expect more of a billion dollar box office flop.

[cyber-corp]

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

[cyber-corp]

i know what i’m doing dw

[cyber-corp]

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

[cyber-corp]

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

[cyber-corp]

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

[cyber-corp]

desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”

[pluto-officially]

You're failing.

[cyber-corp]

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

[communist-mannyfesto]

Pluto is Roman, not Greek

[cyber-corp]

?????

[enigma-system03]

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

[cyber-corp]

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

[cyber-corp]

HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*

[cyber-corp]

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

[legionoftuna]

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

[cyber-corp]

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

[cyber-corp]

wrong.

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Lightning Bait

You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.

[cyber-corp]

FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN

[taco-bee]

I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz

For science

[cyber-corp]

OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND

HERMES: DA FUNNY ONE

ZEUS: DA LIGHTNING (NOTE: THOUGHT HE WAS NORDIC, FATHER OF THOR)

POSEIDON: DA SEA ONE

HEPHAESTUS: DA FIRE/FORGING/STEEL ONE

APHRODITE: DA HOT ONE

KRATOS: GOD OF WAR

HADES: DA HELL ONE. ROGUE LIKE

APOLLO: DA DODGEBALL/PROPHECY ONE

[boxxed-juice]

ares is the god of war, not kratos

[cyber-corp]

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN

[ironwoman359]

I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore

[bingle-official]

op god of war is not official greek mythology lmao

[reekill-playlists]

Someone needs to read a Percy Jackson book

[reekill-playlists]

hey is this still post of the year or

[cyber-corp]

NO

[zelly-fangirl]

how's the hole op? want some snacks? a blanket? a shovel to dig yourself out?

[cyber-corp]

I'D LIKE OUT NOW I THINK

[serious-tabaxi]

ok cool. fair warning, this shovel only digs down and not up.

[gekatafreeart]

«Training»

If Isao's face looked like he was angry, he wasn't. It's just that he always has that expression, no matter the situation (rumor has it he had the same expression at his daughter's birth).

@famouslysleepy @possiblyhomer

[gekatafreeart]

«Training»

If Isao's face looked like he was angry, he wasn't. It's just that he always has that expression, no matter the situation (rumor has it he had the same expression at his daughter's birth).

@famouslysleepy @possiblyhomer

[whathasangramainyudonewrong]

Wrong #1393

Shortly after this, Angra received a week long ban from the community discord

[pencilledpigeon]

@sexy-people-contests-2 look at what you’ve done, you’ve confused the poor hellsite

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

I’m so proud

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

[catchymemes]

[mentalisttraceur-humor]

[mentalisttraceur-humor]

[kata4a]

this is an extremely good joke format

[god-of-chainsaws]

I wish I knew how to play chess

[grand-arbiter-dovin-baan]

[speakingofcharlotte]

I needed this.

[quinintheclouds]

I understand chess and oh my god can this be a meme format? Cause there are so many possible combinations here

[teatops]

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]