Uncanny Dodge

A blog dedicated to my problem child of a dnd character, my half-elven rogue, Caelin Naïlo. Raised in a loving family that just so happened to be involved in organized crime, Caelin was poised to take over leadership of the organization when the business got busted. She's been avoiding arrest and attempting to find out what happened to the rest of her family ever since. She’s very bi, she drinks too much, she has trust issues, she tends to use violence to solve her problems, but she won’t orphan a child. She’s got problems, but I love her. Icon by @wisperr on tumblr

[novantinuum]

oh you know.mp4

no, i do not apologize for this combo shitpost/amv in any way, shape, or form

[outofcontextdnd]

“Stab her or talk to her; that’s like the worst dating advice I’ve ever gotten.”

[powerfulwizard]

Some of you guys are like, Be Gay Do Crime, but are also like, Shoplifting makes you evil and you’re personally stabbing into people’s paychecks if you steal

[rikoy-11-deactivated20190513]

Because you are. Workers especially at smaller stores will get docked pay/hours for thefts. The crimes gays should do is like. Graffiti. Loitering. Violiating bullshit like rainwater collection laws and also political assassinations. Not fucking over Carl at Boxlunch because you wanted the sombra funko pop or whatever

[hundondestiny]

Please stop spreading this lie. It was literally created to pit poor people against poor people. It is illegal for your employer to dock your pay for theft. They are responsible for loss prevention and almost every company has a shrinkage account specifically to cover miscounts, theft, and other inconsistencies in stock. Anyone who has studied accounting or business management knows this.

If your employer EVER docks you for theft that you did not commit, they are in violation of the Fair Labor Standards Act.

It is theft for them to dock or deduct your pay, unless you stole AND they can prove you committed the crime. Go to HR, your union, the police, etc. immediately. Checking out free legal help is also beneficial.

Be gay, do crimes, know your rights.

[darth--nickels]

HHHHNNNNGGGGHGHGHGGNGNGH OH GOD (x)

[mbrainspaz]

talking to my dad is a freaking minefield. Today at dinner I asked him if he’d ever been to New York City in the 90′s and he was like, “nope. Only in the 70′s to donate blood for my mom in the hospital while she was dying from leukemia.” I swear I didn’t even know my grandmother had leukemia (may she rest in peace). This is worse than the time I asked him if he’d ever had riding lessons and he said, “not since my childhood lesson pony burned to death in a barn fire in Kentucky.”

[mbrainspaz]

he just did it again! I was making small talk while we were carrying in the groceries like, “yeah I have a taser in my purse but I’ve never gotten to use it,” and he goes, “I’ve been tasered before it’s not fun. Neither was waterboarding.” 

wtf dad

[mbrainspaz]

latest edition:  me: I found a bottle of vic’s vapo rub in the cabinet that expired in 2002 but it was fine. 

my dad: Oh I don’t touch that stuff but guys I worked with used it to mask the smell of bodies that’d been dead for a while. 

[heywriters]

is your dad an ex-assassin

[amemait]

An ex-assassin who loved his mum. And his pony.

[shiieldmaidencosplay]

Wow I should’ve posted this sooner but hey!! I did a costest for my dnd OC! (You can learn all about her at @potentialqueenofthieves)

[potentialqueenofthieves]

Check out my cosplay blog, I’m cosplaying Best Gal (by which I mean Most Morally Ambiguous Gal) at C2E2 this March!

[teni2-deactivated20170812]

i want an ancient elaborate dagger with my name engraved into the blade as a gift. the only romantic gesture

[filmnoirsbian]

Me: hmm the femme fatale trope is often cliched and just an excuse to sexualize and dehumanize a female character instead of developing her and making her complex

Woman wearing leather & holding a knife: hi

Me:

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Fighter: “Can you Uncanny Dodge gravity?”

Rogue who just fell 60 feet: “CAN YOU PARRY THIS DICK?? FUCK OFF!”

[glassbonespaperskin]

[howlpendraig]

sword lesbian this, sword lesbian that, will anyone spare a thought for bow and arrow lesbians in these melee fighting times

[howlpendraig]

me (a lesbian) pulls out my bow, notches an arrow, winks at my lady love and says “the only thing straight about me is my shooting” before skewering the sheriff of nottingham 

[valtsv]

#a banner unfurls from the shaft that just says: gay rights!

[falyros]

Reblog if your d&d character is a dumbass.

[catchymemes]

[mikaeled]

Gray hooded sweatshirt under a dark leather jacket. Casual clothing for a simpler life.

[yourbigsisnissi]

Every one of you is a potential juror. So let me just say

1) cops lie. All the time. They lie to defendants, they lie to jurors. They get training on how to testify. And they get training on how to cover for their partners. And they get training on how to trick you to confess or incriminate yourself. All with a smile on their face. Cops lie. They are liars

2) every person is presumed innocent. That means of a person is accused and never takes the stand to explain why they are there, still innocent. It’s the governments job to prove guilt. If they do a shit job or their cops are corrupt or the case is weak or the evidence is trash, you MUST acquit. Not a suggestion. It’s a requirement. Even if your “gut” says the defendant did something. Fuck your gut. The question is did the government do their job beyond a reasonable doubt to show if this person is guilty? That’s the only question

3) Cops lie. They are liars. And prosecutors are cops with law degrees. They work together to get convictions. That’s their job. Defense attorneys advocate, prosecutors prosecute. It’s in the name.

4) if you get arrested, do not speak to the cops. Say you want an attorney. What did i just say? Cops lie! They will tell you if you’re just honest you’ll go home….it’s a lie. Even if you’re trying to say you’re innocent, shut your sweet mouth. They might be talking to you about one incident while also thinking of other crimes to charge you with. So they could be like “you did it, you were on Flatbush ave at 8pm and you robbed that lady” and you could say “no I was on Ditmas at 7:30 I didn’t touch her” and then they arrest you for a crime that happened on Ditmas because you fit the description and just admitted you were in the area. Don’t talk to cops.

[heavensghost]

Rock bottom // neck deep

[blackdragonrogue]

Modern day rogue.