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@pothimi
still fuckin hate that ābee-free honeyā thatās made fromā¦ā¦ā¦ apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples
A farmer, by hand and with love and care
wild bees still sexin em up when heās not looking
old mccuckhold had a farm it seems
Ilya wants to do one of these "celebraties I don't think my husband can name" videos where he shows different singers to Shane because he thinks it's just too adorable how Shane has no clue about the music industry at all, only for the video to go like this:
- Oh that's Gaga. You know Lady Gaga? Of course, Ilya! She was in A star is born. Really good actress. She is more of a singer actually... Oh yeah that makes sense, I guess. You guess?! Please tell me you know Poker Face, lyubimyy. I know for a fact you have been to a club, you must have heard Poker Face before. I don't know, maybe. [Ilya starts singing Poker Face]. You're lucky you play better hockey than you sing, baby. Oi!!
- Oh I know how him! That's Armando! That's Pitbull. I'm pretty sure that's a human? Are you fucking with me Shanya. Of course baby. I know that he is a rapper but it feels so weird to call him Pitbull, when we met in Miami he said he was Armando. You met in Miami?? Yeah well, was a few years ago, he invited our team to this house- Pitbull invited the Montreal boring fucking Metros to his fucking house???
- Kesha! Do you know her songs? Absolutely none, no. How the fuck- Why am I even suprised you know her too. Oh we met at Roses birthday party in LA. She is so funny, I think you would like her! Maybe I should introduce you. What the fuck- You know what, I call her. Shane!
- Oh that's Kayleigh right? Kayleigh. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's her. That's Chappell Roan. Dykstra is playing her non-stop in the lockerroom. Oh, really? Pink Pony Club? Good Luck, Babe? Casual? Sounds familiar yes. [Ilya starts singing Casual] [Shane blushes] I think... I think I remember now yeah. Didn't know that was Kayleigh. How do you know all these people but have no clue what they do? Oh funny story, she is a good friend of Rose actually-
- Oh, that's Sam! Sam Smith. I've been to a concert. Met backstage. Really cool person. Shanya, you're surprising me? You go to concerts? Well uhm. When... when I was with Rose she got us tickets and - Yeah okey.
- Montero! Or Lil Nas X. Shall I guess: Another friend of Rose? Maybe, I should ask her. Actually we did this campaign together and- I hate you.
- Oh thats the actress from the movie. The movie with all the actresses. Oceans Eight. That's Rihanna. Yeah! Rihanna. I really liked her there, she should do more movies. Shane, she is actually a singer. Oh, that's cool. You're killing me. What? Should I know her? Shane. Lyubimyy. We literally had our first dance to her song.
- That's Benito! Nice guy. You know Bad Bunny? Who is a bad bunny? That is Bad Bunny. Benito Antonio MartĆnez Ocasio. Okay yeah? He is literally the biggest singer in the world. Is he now? Yes! Oh, wow he didn't mention. Wait, you met Bad Bunny? Yeah, well we were at some galas together, but to be fair he said- Galas? Like how many? Dunno, like four, five times and- Ilya is your nose bleeding?
I also think it would be really funny if Shane knew Armando as a real estate connection. Armando reached out to him (because they're both celebrities in real estate, obviously). Shane doesn't typically do networking, but this time he looks into this guy's properties and just thinks, "Oh! This guy actually seems to be really successful at this. I should definitely accept his invite and learn from him and maybe meet some other people with good advice. It would be silly not to." Armando at some point drops the most casual "You do hockey, right? How is that?" that Shane has ever heard from someone who seems to know who he his. Armando never brings up performing because everybody obviously knows who he is (obviously), and Shane never thinks to ask if he does anything else. Armando sends him a text inviting him to dinner or to parties he happens to be throwing when he sees Shane has a game in town, and Shane always accepts. It would be rude not to, and he likes Armando. Shane gets so accustomed to seeing Armando when he's in Miami that the first time he plays there without getting an invite, he texts him to let him know he's in town and ask him if he wants to get dinner. Sorry man, I'm on tour right now. Next time, brother. What does that mean? On tour? Like, on a tour of Europe? Or is this some slang he doesn't know? Doesn't matter, he's busy either way. No problem man, next time. šš½ At least things are still good with his good buddy Armando. Maybe now he'll facetime Ilya tonight, instead.
unfortunately i dont think its queerbaiting if the creator is just so terminally heterosexual that they never remotely considered the same gender relationship their show is centered around could be read as romantic. it is deeply painful however.
Maybe accidental queer baiting? The way someone may not mean to say something rude, but it may come off rude, so it's rude. Frustrating either way.
Not being a dick, just a friendly clarification.
By definition you can't accidentally queerbait. Queerbaiting is specifically using a same sex pair from the show to market the show to queer audiences with no intention of ever following through on a romantic relationship.
There is officially licensed Destiel merch signed off on by Kripke. Teen Wolf had a commercial with the actors for Derek and Stiles draped over each other talking about being "on a ship." Both shows actively used scenes between them as marketing while actively mocking fans for wanting them together. Sherlock has multiple characters refer to Johnlock as a couple, including characters we're supposed to believe are never wrong about human behavior and pushed those scenes in marketing. Then they acted insulted when fans saw them as a couple.
That's queerbaiting.
Done on accident it would just be queer subtext. Done because they had no other choice due to censorship is queer coding.
The specific meaning of the word is really starting to get lost and it's a pretty important one to keep accurate. It describes a very specific phenomenon that was done repeatedly and maliciously for decades and is meant to examine that specifically.
Doing it on accident sucks, but it isn't a tactic of capitalism intentionally intended to suppress queer representation while making money from queer fans.
Reblogging to keep the accurate definition and examples of queerbaiting circulating in the world
Please stop being nonbinary too. God only created one gender. You must conform to that.
THERES ONLY ONE NOW?????
in almost every other children's book where the main heroine is swept away to a land of whimsy she's shown having a lovely time; braving dangers occasionally, trying to find her way home, sure, but ultimately delighting in the magic around her. meanwhile alice spends her entire time in wonderland like
look, hereās the thing: alice in wonderlandās enduring fucking charm is that it perfectly captures the vibe of being a very tired and annoyed child who is nonetheless required to play along with adult nonsense.
alice is dragged from place to place without warning, forced to play stupid games with no good prizes, grilled over her schooling and manners and recitation and dress, scolded, judged, insulted to her face, sent away, given gifts she didnāt ask for and doesnāt like, corrected incorrectly, been subject to shifting and arbitrary rules, and then when she gets snappish with all this bullshit everyone acts like a little girlās temper is the end of the fucking world.
alice in wonderland isnāt a drug trip or a nightmare or a metaphor, thatās just what being ten years old is LIKE. thatās why kids love it so much. even if they canāt quite articulate how, they recognize themselves in it.
I'm gonna go ahead and add - the reaction image is barely even a joke. This is the original illustration of her at the Mad Hatter's tea party.
look at how fucking angry she is
Fouling in the MLH takes a steep decline the first year Shane & Ilya play together on the Centaurs, and theyāre a bit confused why all their regular season games have been relatively un-physical. Then in one game against Toronto, some idiot (probably Dallas Kent) crosschecks Luca, and the Centaurs activate the Hollanov Power Play Special theyāve been training for all season and Toronto is swiftly, instantly, and absolutely fucked. Suddenly it becomes very clear why every team in the league is on their best behavior against Ottawa: because against Shane and Ilyaās power play, a foul will almost always cost you a fucking goal. Thatās how insane their power play percentage is, and all the other teams can do is never give them a reason to be on the ice together. (Personally, the other Centaurs love this and go out of their way to draw fouls, just to see the immediate horror on the other teamās faces)
Literacy crisis WHO? This was said in the most vocal fried Californian accent ever. I hope The Girls enjoy some Russian lit this summer.
PATREON
itās amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a manās lower back
In 1944 a kitten named George (short for General Electric) was saved from drowning by a U.S. Navy crew member. George was then photographed and given a liberty card and detailed health record. Source.
There's too much going on here
"Skin: can't see it you worried?"
PLEASE READ the sheet it's amazing.
Daniel Sloss SAID IT THANK YOU DANIEL SLOSS
Reblogging again now that Russell Brand's ugly mug is back in the news to remind everyone that in the 2023 Times expose on his abusive behaviour, Daniel Sloss was the only male comedian willing to be named and quoted like "yeah that dude's a scumbag and women have been warning each other about him for years."
scroll back up and watch this video. š«µ
SO fucking important.
Being critical of your interests is sooooo fun when you have the critic gene & then you sound kind of insane to the average tv watcher when you're like "this is my favorite show, It's Racist" & then you try to clarify what you mean & get that [Speech (legendary) - FAILURE] "the racism is really interesting though"
[Speech (legendary) - SUCCESS] I find the sociopolitical context of pulpy old sci-fi born circa the civil rights movement really fascinating to analyze especially when it was progressive for its time but still reveals the writers' unexamined biases in the subtext
Them: So you're saying its bad and I shouldn't watch it?
Me: I mean depends on your tolerance for this type of racism, but like I said it's my favourite show, it def has some great parts if you're up for it.
Them: Oh so it's not racist.
Me: It absolutely is.
Them: So you're saying racism is ok??
Me: No.
mourning my emotional support tree
Shane was actually not prepared for how different travelling with the centaurs are. Sure, he expected it to be nicer, having Ilya at his side. Basically he thought, he would just stick to watching movies, maybe read a few pages, and taking perfectly timed naps to prevent a jet lag, just that maybe now he could rest his head on Ilyas shoulder. Well. He might never know peace again.
He is now regular part of the little card playing group, playing one or two rounds of poker or asshole at the beginning of their flight. They are laughing and trashtalking and Shane's pleasently suprised he's not getting thrown out the group for ripping the others off with his stone hard poker face.
Shane accidentally started a book club that now semi-regularly holds meetings in their airplane to discuss hockey books, a tradtion that started when Luca asked Shane what he was reading and then proceeded to buy the books as well, which caused a handful more team members to follow suit.
But his favourite thing to do is talking shop with Ilya. Both off them sticking their heads together over their ipad, going though game tape, discussing strategies, examine plays with a level of perspicacity reserved just for them. Often they sit together with Bood and Troy, so they all can exchange their experiences with different opponents, examine weaknesses and strengths & Shane finds so much calm and joy in being part of a group of like-minded people, talking like equals, like a real team, not having to carry the burden of being the head of the team alone.
Shane doesn't get to watch as many movies alone and in peace anymore as before but he wouldn't change it for the world.
ābits to use in everyday conversationsā
Everyone: omg Hollander leash your dog, Ilya is barking at opponent hockey players again
Shane Enabler Hollander: ok so Ilyusha this player has had zero assists in the entire season, he got drafted last, and finally - and this is crucial - he once scored a goal in his own team's net
Ilya Heart Eyes Rozanov: thank you my ShaneWiki this is valuable data, off I go
I will never understand why people upload cropped, low-res, uncredited art. Here's the full piece, originally created for a collaboration with watchmaker Ulysse Nardin:
Milo Manara, 2019, Ulysse Nardin, 2, mixed technique on paper
"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.
"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"
"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."
"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."
"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.
"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."
"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."
"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.
"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.
"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."
"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."
"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."
Last year I finally had an excuse to illustrate this simple little Tumblr story I've had bookmarked forever for class.
I hope you like it :]
