Spare spoons?

UK. They/them. 20. A fun mix of POTS, fatigue, migraines and neurodivergence. Documenting my physical/mental health online. Please don't be shy :)

[fubvsfcikbdshnklnfsvh]

If your conditions are worsening and youre losing functioning you once had, I love you.

If you feel like you cant get your needs met or communicated due to your disabilities, I love you.

If youre scared of losing your independence, if you feel trapped and out of control? I love you so fucking much. You are not alone, you are not broken, you are beautiful and loved and important and I hope so much that things get easier or more manageable for you.

It can be fucking terrifying to have to watch your functionality leave you, especially when you cant get that across or when you/doctors dont know whats wrong. Its ok to be afraid, its ok to not know what to do. But I promise you, you are not alone.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Stop dismissing your struggles as laziness. Laziness is a choice. If you are struggling despite trying to do something, that's not laziness. So don't just dismiss it as laziness. Instead, take a deeper look at your struggle and find out what's actually stopping you. Allow yourself to consider your situation with compassion and you'll find that words like lazy rarely covers it.

[inkflowergarden]

Keep choosing love.

[girlbugboy]

if ur disabled or chronically ill u know that the tv trope of “doctors will stop at nothing to learn more about a patient’s extremely rare symptoms and find answers” is a crock of shit. all doctors know is gaslight disabled people, ignore ur pain, tell u to exercise, and do the same test 10 times

[averagefairy]

i love when people ask me “what are you anxious about” like…….about??? you think this is based on reason? rationality? never heard of that

[britp0p-deactivated20210628]

you don’t have to have the Worst Life Imaginable to be sad. you don’t have to have it worse off than other people to let yourself acknowledge that you aren’t okay. what you’re feeling matters. your hurts are still important

[pots-chronicles]

so i relapsed today with something i’m not comfortable disclosing on here at the moment and i just wanted to remind anyone and everyone who has relapsed or is currently relapsing that a relapse with whatever you are dealing with does not equate to failure. your strength is like a muscle and it needs to be exercised again and  again. every single time you begin your recovery again you get stronger and stronger without even realising it and it’s a super difficult thing to do. it may feel impossible and hopeless and you may feel like you’ve lost all the progress you’ve made but i promise that is not the case. one day you will over come this and i’m proud of you for making it this far.

[mothcub]

[disabledprincesses]

Its okay if you didn't know something was ableist, homophobic, racist, etc.

But the second you do it WHILE knowing it is, is when you become the person were fighting against

[babyfairy]

the body positivity movement is just as much of a failure as the sex positivity movement. LMFAO

[babyfairy]

people centering their “body positivity” around fuckability and attractiveness rather than the idea that every body is normal is exactly what causes the “movement” to fail. and now corporations are latching onto it too. it was doomed to flop from the beginning and the term “body positivity” itself has become meaningless to me because it doesn’t mean what i think it does or wish it did a good 90% of the time. especially not coming from corporations.

real body positivity does not center attractiveness or beauty. it does not center sexual attractiveness. it is the idea that every body is normal, regardless of what it looks like. every body is deserving of care. limiting your body positivity to people who look good to you is effectively meaningless and it pisses me off having to see it day in and day out all over social media bro like just let the shit die at this point

[mouseshouses]

Party girl

[pots-chronicles]

just a little psa for any parents of people with disabilities or chronic illnesses. please don’t tease your children about their behaviours that are directly related to their difficulties. for example, my parents always used to call me ‘lazy’ and ‘unmotivated’ before receiving my diagnosis because none of us were aware that my behaviours were attributed to by fatigue. no, despite them having an in-depth knowledge of how my condition affects me, they continue to tease. if they want in on me having a nap they joke about my laziness and seem disappointed at my unproductivity. yet, if i make plans to do more than one thing in a day they joke me pushing myself too hard. even if it’s light jest, this can be very confusing for me and still gets to me on a daily basis, and if anything makes me even more unmotivated than before. so please, talk to your children. if they’re doing something you don’t understand or you don’t think they’re managing their conditions in the best way then open up a conversation. you have no idea how they feel nor are you in a position to demean them for it. 

[lil-reminders]

the things that work for others might not work for you and that’s okay. you’ll be happiest and healthiest when you’re doing your own thing

[mxbutchtwink]

Seeing how people still treat disabled people extremely poorly in this day and age, I'd like to bring some positivity to:

People with facial deformities, whether they are big or small, noticeable or not, you don't have to change a thing about yourself to make other people more comfortable or to gain their approval

People who can't/need aids to walk, lift things, see, hear, eat, or take their medication

People who use oxygen or feeding tubes

Chronically ill people who struggle with every day activities, or who need constant assistance to get through the day

People with growth, developmental, or muscular disorders who have uncommon body types

People with psychosis, personality disorders, traumagenic disorders, and neurodivergencies, they're not evil or scary, and they're not just faking for attention

People who need help with waste disposal, or who have little to no control over their bladder or bowel movements, it's not your fault and you deserve proper care and treatment

People with missing limbs or appendages, whether you were born without them or not

People who want to have kids or a family but are unable to physically have/take care of a child or another person

And for people who have ever been harrassed, neglected, ostracized, or told they were undesirable for their disability. You deserve better, and I'm sorry.

[pots-chronicles]

*update on me*

hello all you lovely people - i changed the title of these little moments just because i realised that my pots is only part of the issues i am working on to improve my mental/physical health. 

currently things are pretty ok. my doctors have encouraged me to reduce my pots medication as they weren’t sure whether it was actually helping. had a few side effects so far, mainly an increase in migraines, so i may need to go back to the increased dosage which is all fine. 

my other doctor has also increased my antidepressants and i was a bit silly and changed both medications at the same time which i wouldn’t recommend you do unless you need to. it’s hard to tell if they’re working or not because i’m currently away from the toxic living situation that makes my anxiety skyrocket but i do think i’m happier and have less destructive urges which is good. i do feel pretty numb and empty though which isn’t great but beggars can’t be choosers. 

that’s really it at the moment, there’s not really anything exciting going on. i mean i bought some Himalayan salt to try but that’s quite honestly been the peak of my week. 

love you all and i hope you are taking care of yourselves as best you can. if anyone ever has any questions about anything i post or discuss including chronic illness, neurodivergence, mental health, sexuality or gender i’m a pretty open book and would be more than happy to answer and try to educate. 

stay well xox

[hillergoodspeed]

[allmyknivesaremadeoutofbutter-d]

i have so much love and neck tension