toji × wife!reader , <𝟑 .ᐟ { angst } .
the house feels eerily quiet, not the calm quiet after a hard day, but a disturbing silence that grows heavy from every corner. it’s oppressive, stretching over the creaking floors and your uneven breathing.
your husband despises it.
leaning against the bedroom doorframe with his arms crossed, toji watches you as if he’s afraid you might vanish if he so much as glances away.
you seem smaller than before, which he notices in how the blankets don’t lift as much with each breath, how your soft hands seem less filled out, and how your once warm, steady voice now flickers like a dying light.
the illness has lingered with you, cruelly patient and thorough.
toji has faced curses that could shatter buildings, men ready to kill him in the blink of an eye, and a world that cast him aside like nothing—none of it has ever made him feel as helpless as this.
he can't fight any of it, and that undeniable truth festers beneath his skin like an incurable poison.
toji pushes himself away from the doorway with a soft creak of wood under is weight. his bare feet slide across the floorboards as he moves slowly and carefully through the room, as if any sudden move could break the fragile moment that keeps you here.
you look up at him as the mattress sags, and your fragile heart breaks upon seeing the emptiness that is your beloved, threatening to consume him from within. he's shouldering the weight of the inevitability that looms overhead.
your fingers curl around his fingers of the hand resting on top of your quilt and weakly squeeze them in an effort to soothe his aching soul.
the silence returns, heavy and bloated. outside, rain taps against the windows, and pipes groan inside the house. life continues in small sounds as yours continues to slowly slip away.
he stares at your intertwined hands with a blank expression, the coldness of your skin seeping into his palm. oh, how differently he remembers them.
he remembers them cupping his face, thumbs stroking his cheeks with a gentleness he didn’t deserve, or how they smoothed over megumi's dark hair while he slept between the two of you.
now, they tremble in his grip, and he despises it.
he hates the medicine bottles cluttering the nightstand. hates the various untouched bowls of soup that you couldn't even bear to stomach after just a spoonful. hates the smell of sickness clinging to the sheets no matter how often he washes them. hates every cardiologist who looked at you with pity already settled in their eyes.
and above all, he loathes himself. because somewhere deep down, beneath all the anger and denial clawing through him, toji knows there isn't anything left to fix.
"toji," you say, breaking his train of thought. "you're squeezing too hard, love."
he immediately loosens his grip, a muttered curse slipping beneath his breath. "sorry."
your expression softens just a fraction. "it's alright, 'ji. i know you didn't mean it."
no, he thinks. nothing about this was okay.
toji suddenly stands, restless energy snapping through him like a live wire. he drags a hand down his face before beginning to pace, desperate to crawl out of his own skin. "i should've done something sooner," he confesses quietly.
you blink, momentarily stunned by the abrupt movement. he'd been so still just a moment ago, and then he was on his feet in the blink of an eye. it came with the job of being an assassin, you suppose. "toji—"
“i should’ve found better doctors or better hospitals— somethin’!” his voice roughens dangerously and cracks. “could’ve sold more jobs and taken more contracts. i didn’t care how filthy they were, i would’ve—”
the rest of his words catch in his throat as your arms wrap around his torso from behind. toji stiffens under your touch. had it really been so long since your last embrace that he had forgotten how it felt?
getting out of bed in such a rush wasn't the smartest choice; your legs wobbled as you tried to stay upright. it wasn't healthy to exert yourself physically in that way, but at the moment, you couldn't care less.
"you did everything and more," you softly reassure him, voice muffled against the fabric of his sweatshirt. "you stayed."
you know the ugliness he carries.
you aren't a stranger to the violence he can never seem to leave at the door, or the selfishness of his emptied pockets, and the years spent running from attachments because losing people hurt worse than loneliness ever could.
even now, toji sleeps in broken intervals beside your bed because he’s terrified your breathing will stop the moment he closes his eyes. he cooks most meals for you and his son, even if it means yours remains untouched. he helps you walk to and from the bathroom, even gently washing your hair with that ridiculous floral shampoo you love so much.
tears finally spill despite every desperate attempt to stop them. toji bows his head lower, clutching your hand against his stomach like he can hold you here through sheer force alone.
“you gave me a home,” you whisper. “you gave me love. you gave megumi a father even when you were scared to be one. don't ever think that the things you did were for nothing."
he turns you carefully to face him, locking his arms around your waist. you laugh—softer this time, weaker—but real. god, he'd destroy the world if it meant he’d continue to have the privilege of hearing it forever.
a small smile touches your chapped lips. "i love you, toji fushiguro. you and i will forever be unfinished business."
he accepts your kiss with feverish familiarity, relishing the unadulterated amount of love that you pour into him.
even if death was at the threshold of their home, you'd help him realize something—every seemingly mundane moment was meant to be cherished. there was never a dull hour with you by his side.
⤷ a/n :: thank you angels for 250 followers. my heart is so full. <3 𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯
₊˚⊹ ᰔ tags :: @jiyuspassion , @lilithkleia , @kalatiii , @yorikae , @yoonsucks , @xqce , @paninsoup , @mimuju , @cursedkisss .
