entering my lumberjack era

25 Zephyr what can I say I am a battle axe kinda girlie

[stalock]

gonna start asking hockey dudes on tinder if they can define goaltender interference and if they give me any answer other than “i don’t know” i’m unmatching them

[stalock]

men? not disappointing me? what is this feeling

[stalock]

how do i tell these guys this post got 200+ notes on tumblr

[stalock]

UPDATE ONE OF THESE GUYS IS ACTUALLY A REF I’M LAUGHING SO HARD

[neonfretra]

[Image transcript:

Image 1:

Match 1: With officiating these days who the fuck knows Match 1: Every games is diff every league it’s a joke Katie OP: good answer thank you for participating in this research project

Image 2:

Match 2: Whatever the fuck the ref is the only right answer Match 2: Kinda like the answer to what does the nhl consider a suspendible play. They just kinda spin a wheel of justice and go with whatever it lands on

Image 3:

Match 2: I mean I am a hockey ref like I know the definition of what it is but I’ve seen some real bullshit called interference so idk anymore OP: Oh that’s so cool! I hope you don’t plan on becoming an NHL ref because then I think I’m obligated to hate you Match 2: Nope nope nope I would never. Match 2: My vision and judgement aren’t bad enough

End description.]

[namira]

Like two years ago I ran into a salamander biologist in the woods who complimented my ability to 'walk quietly in the forest while causing minimal disturbance to the leaf litter.' Still goes to my head.

[gallusrostromegalus]

I had to get my kidneys imaged a few years ago and the urologist somewhat breathlessly told me "you have absolutely beautiful kidneys." and tbh I've never felt hotter.

[eccebitch]

[fabricandcircuits]

Peer reviewed tags wonderfully said

[josilverdragon]

"The horrors persist but so do libraries, books, iced coffee, sunsets, trees, the word 'fuck', the moon and the sea."

[yamada-ryo]

Average nonusamerican [tumblr] experience be like:

- poll

1. seemingly obvious answer 35%

2. not obvious answer 12%

4. I'm bald 54%

- reblog

I can't believe you guys. This is taught in every AMERICAN school. It's literally part of the AMERICAN syllabus. You must've been a bad person and slept in class or skiving off when your AMERICAN teacher was going through this. If you didn't know this you are a bad person and should be ashamed of yourself

[yasmin1000000]

- poll What Continent is this?

Africa 12%

I dont knowwwwwwww 75%

im bald 13%

- reblog

its not our freaking fault the US school system is so bad it failed us all so bad you dont even realise how bads it is here we dont know anything its not oiur fault its not my falts its not my fault

[virtualgirladvance]

- post

damn its starting to get a little chilly here

- reblogs

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS GETTING COLD?!!? SUMMER JUST STARTED!!!! THE FUCK ARE YOU MARS??

[plaguedocboi]

I remember when I was younger, anytime I watched a movie where the characters have to kill a scary monster/alien, I always thought the act of killing it was intended to be part of the horror. Like there’s this amazing creature that we’ve never seen before, and maybe under different circumstances we could’ve coexisted with it, but it’s trying to attack you and you have to defend yourself, but by destroying it you also destroy the ability to ever understand it and that’s sad and is supposed to make you feel conflicted.

It was not until well into my adulthood that I realized most people do not have complicated feelings about movies where people have to kill a scary alien monster, nor is that necessarily meant to be part of the narrative (unless it very obviously is). They just want the scary thing to die because it’s scary. I don’t have a real conclusion to this I just started thinking about it for some reason.

[plaguedocboi]

1. This reply is two words and they managed to misspell both of then

2. Yeah. Duh.

[squeakitties]

following weird horny furries who are into shit like pooltoys and transformation and stuff is enrichment. the vitamins and minerals of posting

[squeakitties]

[twinkenjoyer-deactivated2023083]

once you get over your ass and realise you will never get some people and that’s ok you are basically immune to right wing fearmongering. otherkin? none of my fucking business

[stevishabitat]

[mandate-transgenderism]

I must not fall victim to disgust. Disgust is the heart-killer. Disgust is the little-death that brings total apathy. I will face my disgust. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the disgust has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

[turbozarky]

hell you may even like it

[berensreverie]

It's 20th April in Thailand which uses the Buddhist calendar in which the current year is 2569, therefore this is the only day where the date is 42069

[berensreverie]

Today is 6.9.69

[reynard61]

Let's ambush mama! 😼

[dvandom]

"Why do Pallas cats always look grumpy?"

"Pallas kittens."

[waywardmartian]

The sheer roundness of this kitten must be admired.

[kaijutegu]

It looks cute, right? But wait, what's that?

Yup. AI watermark. Traces back to this Facebook page which posts nothing except for AI images of manul/Pallas cats (plus a couple of videos of domestic cats). The original post is here.

Here are some real images of this animal. They're not as dramatic, but they are the real thing.

[aqueerkettleofish]

For those who have missed it, a tourist in Hawaii decided it would be fun to chuck a rock (a BIG rock) at a monk seal. He missed, but he was captured on video, and when told it was illegal to interfere with them, said "I'm rich, I can pay the fine."

Is the best part that he got doxxed? No.

Is the best part that he got tracked down by a local and beaten? No.

Arrested on state at federal charges, looking at up to 5 years and 50K? Nope.

The best part is the local city council's reaction.

And the best part of that is the look on the attorney's face.

[ralfmaximus]

More of this please, everywhere.

After the incident, another video went viral showing what appeared to be that man getting a beating. The Maui Police Department said they had no record of any reports of disorderly conduct or assault related to the monk seal incident.

Even the local police are being cool about this.

[cedarwool]

yesterday i was at the woodworking store getting a knife sharpener because i've been really into whittling hair sticks out of hardwoods which dulls your blades like mad. and the lady who was helping me said "oh yeah i know the feeling of jumping into a project that turns out more complex, that's how i feel about my cable knit right now"

which in turn activated my sleeper autist, and we ended up talking about fiber arts, where i learned that this woman is part of the local lacemaker's guild and uses her woodworking experience to carve lace bobbins on the lathe. she then gave me the email address of the woman who runs it, because their group has no social media and only meets when the lead lady says 'everyone come to my house.'

while all of this was going on, another woman walks up. her partner was shopping for wood repair stuff and she heard us talking about fiber- she's a spinner who does historical reenactments nearby. period accurate, processes the wool herself. of course i ask her if they need volunteers and she gives me her contact info

long story short. autism is everywhere you look and you have to be okay with chatting with strangers. i don't remember where this post was going

[dovvvvv]

this is how charli xcx sounds to straight men

[cozy-stardust]

Imagine Grace defined his name as the elegance definition of grace and Rocky spends years thinking how fucking ironic this clumsy leaky space blobs name is.

Until Grace slips out a sentence along the lines of "could you give me a little grace here" and Rocky immediately points out he used a word wrong so Grace has to explain that yeah, grace means elegance but it can also mean mercy sometimes too.

And Rocky has to suddenly reconcile that the clumsy leaky blob that saved his life twice, that almost certainly doomed himself to come back for him, name is Mercy.

[spankerella]

@ perfectunion

[wizardarchetypes]

Massachusetts Uber, Lyft drivers certify first statewide ride-hailing union amid automation fears

Drivers in Massachusetts for ride-hailing apps such as Uber and Lyft have become the first in the nation to certify a union.

[starless-planet]

Me, age 10, doing an essay on the pharaoh’s curse for school: huh. So this archeologist that died and everyone thought it was because he disturbed the pharaoh’s tomb actually died because he used a rusty razor to shave and it infected a mosquito bite. I can see how people could come to that conclusion, but it is a bit silly

Me, today, shaving my mosquito bite-ridden legs: I must tread carefully lest I incur the pharaoh’s wrath

[burins]

thinking fondly of this meme I made for a coworker years and years ago

[burins]

this is going around again and the tags are full of people talking about printing it out to put in their breakroom or cubicle or sending it to their coworkers, which fills me with great joy. vast diversity of professions represented also. zoos. labs. summer camps. restaurants. garden centers. libraries. schools. many reports from the brave warriors of assorted retail. a truth universally acknowledged: if there is a sign a customer will not read it <3 and they don't read emails either <3

[wilwheaton]

““Fundamentally the problem here with this whole thing is: How is it that you had Karen Bass was in first place, Spencer Pratt was in second place, and then this other woman was in third place. You would expect these mail-in ballots to kind of meet that same basic pattern,” Vance said. “But somehow we find ourselves in a situation where number one—they’re still receiving ballots, not just counting ballots. And number two—the way they’re coming in just so happens to work out such that the Republican is getting kicked out of the final two, so it’s a Democrat-versus-Democrat runoff.”

—

JD Vance Isn’t Handling Republicans’ Defeat in Los Angeles Very Well

Hey, stupid, just wanted to remind you that – hey, look at me when I’m talking to you, Jeffrey Dahmer Vance – I just want to remind you that Los Angeles has nearly 3 times more registered Democrats than Republicans, we have not elected a Republican this century, and votes are counted from different precincts, as well as mail-in ballots, starting when the polls close. A lot of stupid people voted for Pratt, sure, but vastly more people who aren’t complete idiot mouth breathers did not, because he is an idiot, just like you. 

You know that, you dumb fuck – I swear to god, Jorts Dingus Vance, take your hand out of your pants, stop staring at that couch, and listen to me – you know that this is how elections have been decided for two centuries in America.

And, yes, the loser in this mayoral contest is the incompetent, unqualified, Republican scumbag who everyone in Los Angeles hates as much as we hate you and that rapist piece of shit you work for. Because he is a loser, and no amount of billionaire money or whining about his loss changes that.

You and your toadies don’t lose elections because they are rigged, Jackhole Dipshit Vance; they lose because voters hate you and your party, and everything you represent.

Run along now, and find some other losers to hang out with while the clock ticks down, ever closer to the moment you are a footnote in a history book, a punchline to a joke that wasn’t ever funny to begin with.