In Pursuit of Adequacy

I'm just a girl in a quest to find and define the mic through which my mind speaks. I don't know much, but the little I know I promise you'll hear it. I'm a Nigerian American, private revolution in progress.

[anamatics]

Hey young ones

This is a request.

Learn your queer history. Learn about AIDS. Learn about how the leadership of this country looked away and did nothing to help our community for years. Learn about how they joked AIDS was god’s punishment for being gay. Learn about how, in the community, everyone was touched. Everyone lost someone. Learn how the AIDS crisis gave birth to the modern gay rights movement. Learn about how that crisis brought the community together after two decades of infighting. Lesbians took care of gay men who were dying. Found families were everywhere. Our history is too important to allow our politicians to sweep the horrible awful legacy of inaction under the rug. 

Learn your history kids. Think about the people who died to make your life now, as a young queer person in the world, a whole lot better than it was back then.

[and-bisexual]

YES

Learn about how bi men were blamed for the epidemic by both straight and gay people, and especially for its “leap” to those innocent straight people.

Learn about how Newsweek publicly blamed bi men for the epidemic in 1987, calling them “the ultimate pariahs” and “amoral and duplicitous and compulsive.” How Cosmo did the same two years later, promoting the popular stereotype of bi men as dishonest spreaders of AIDS.

Learn about how bisexual activists like David Lourea and Cynthia Slater were at the cutting edge of safer sex education, bringing it into bathhouses and BDSM clubs in San Francisco in 1981, when doctors were still calling it “a rare gay cancer”. Or like Alexei Guren, in Florida, organizing healthcare outreach to Latino married men who have sex with men.

Learn about how it took two years of campaigning to get even the San Francisco Department of Public Health to recognize bisexual men in their official AIDS statistics (the weekly “New AIDS cases and mortality statistics” report),

Learn about the women who got HIV, both cis and trans, who often had no resources or support. And the incredibly high risk trans women faced for HIV even in the late 1990s, and how difficult it still was for them to access healthcare.

Learn about how bisexual activists like Venetia Porter, of the Prostitute’s Union of Massachusetts and COYOTE (Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics), were the ones who first advocated for both cis and trans women, and injection drug users, with AIDS.

Learn about how Cynthia Slater, who by then was HIV-positive, organized the first Women’s HIV/AIDS Information Switchboard in 1985. About how bi activist Liz Highleyman started one of the first needle exchanges in the US in 1991, and bi author/activist Lani Ka'ahumanu and Cianna Stewart started the Safer Sex Sluts to do safer sex outreach to young high-risk lesbian and bi women in 1992.

Learn about how bisexuals are still erased from HIV/AIDS history. How frequently we are told that we were not affected by the epidemic, that we are less oppressed as a result, that we did not participate in this movement or in the larger movement for gay rights. That we were not demonized, that only gay men were disowned or refused cemetery plots for having AIDS. How our erasure is used against us.

[fairypsychicarchive]

Ok so I rly fucking need to clean my house. Do any other People With Depression™ have any tips or ways you motivate urself to clean? Because this feels like the hardest goddamn thing in the world even tho I know it’s not and I’m just continually frustrated with myself and have been for the past two weeks.

[mossman-making-stars]

HOO BOY DO I HAVE DEPRESSION/EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION CLEANING TIPS

in no particular order (because I have depression and executive dysfunction):

1. If something sensory about cleaning bothers you, eliminate that before you start. For example, I wear gloves to do the dishes. If the sound of the vacuum bothers you, wear headphones and turn up the music. etc.

2. If you can, make a list of everything that needs to be done. Then acknowledge that you probably can’t do it all, and circle all the things that absolutely, no matter what, have to be done. Pick one (ONE! ONLY ONE! START WITH ONE!) of those things and break it down into smaller steps. Then even smaller steps. Seriously, if step one is “stand up” and step two is “walk to closet” and step 3 is “get mop”, that’s fine. It can be that small.

3. Take a break. “But I literally only started five minutes ago!” Don’t care. If you want a break, take a break. “At this point I’ve spent more time on breaks than I’ve spent on cleaning.” Ok, but you’ve spent more than zero time on cleaning, so you’ve accomplished more than you had at the beginning. “If I take a break it won’t get done!” If you burn out it won’t get done either. Take a break.

4. If nothing is working, try what I call bin cleaning/box cleaning. Take a big trash bag and a box. Pick up the first object you see. Step 1: Is it trash? Put it in the trash bag. Step 2: Will you use it in the next 2 days? No? Put it in the box. It’s a problem for Future You. If you’ll use it in the next 2 days, take time to put it away. Rinse and repeat.

5. Did you get distracted and forget what you were doing? Don’t worry about it. Just clean a thing. It doesn’t matter if it’s the thing you were cleaning before. You have to clean lots of things, so just pick a thing and clean it. Eventually you’ll get around to the thing you forgot.

6. If you have to do a thing you really hate, do a thing you like afterwards. I hate doing dishes, but folding laundry soothes me, so that’s a nice one to do afterwards. YMMV. If there are no cleaning things you like that you can do afterwards, see number 3.

7. Make it fun. Play loud music and dance while you’re cleaning. Wear something that makes you feel cute, or if you prefer, something comfy. Light your favorite candle. Whatever.

8. If it’s nice out, open a window. Seriously, it helps.

[fairypsychicarchive]

This is seriously so helpful, thank you.

[booksneak]

Ask an understanding friend or family member to help you with a specific part.

[lavenderally]

🙌🏻

[grims0713]

This is all such good advice. I can’t do dishes without gloves, and Opening a window or even just the blinds and letting in natural light is one of the best things for me while cleaning. I can’t clean when the sun has gone down

[smoketogethighcustheworldissolow]

I will put my life on making lists that shit works so well even if you write down the dumbest shit youll feel so great crossing it off when youre done

[psil0cybindreams-deactivated201]

I love you

[dynastylnoire]

Also, if you can afford it or can barter don’t be ashamed to reach out to that super organized person in your life and ask them to clean for you.

It’s 100 percent worth it

[betterstayabsurd-deactivated202]

[bemusedlybespectacled]

Gomez gives out better relationship advice than like 90% of dudes.

[obstinate-nocturna]

Gomez Addams is a suave motherfucker who loves his wife more than his own life.

Everyone should want a Gomez. He’s p cool.

[breelandwalker]

Gomez and Morticia Addams actually have a very loving and extremely healthy relationship, both in the old TV show and in the more recent movies. They were also one of the first television couples to be shown to have an active (albeit offscreen) sex life. Their frank attitude towards sexuality was shocking in its’ time, but their relationship and their family dynamic is actually more functional and more…dare I say it…sane than most families portrayed on TV.

The comedy in the show came from the family’s “odd” lifestyle, rather than from infighting and petty bickering, or worse, as was common on other shows of the time, thinly veiled references to spousal abuse. They didn’t make fun of each other or act like their children were creatures from another world. Were they strange and outside of social norms? Yes. Were they united in creating a loving home and being good, supportive parents? Absolutely.

These two support and adore their children, care for an aging mother and an estranged brother, put family before everything, and they love each other, wholly, fiercely, without reserve. They are every bit as much in love after at least a decade of marriage as they were the day they met.

Relationship goals. LIFE goals.

[avotica]

Just remembered in the second movie when their third child became “normal” for a period and although they were shocked and didn’t know how to handle it, they didn’t mistreat the child or love it any less. They accepted the difference, even though it was hard for them. 

[drnerdlove]

Reblogged for truth.

[franklyunfabulous]

❤️❤️❤️

[endreal]

Posts about Gomez and Morticia Addams are almost always uplifting and I’m happy to have them on my dash, but I think my favorite bit about this conversation is what Gomez is actually saying to Fester.

It’s nobody’s surprise that many of the aesthetic and thematic elements of The Addams Family in its various incarnations are influenced by Gothic tradition (not goth, that mostly came later. And not Goth, that was much much much too early), and I think Gomez’s words are a dead bullseye in terms of Gothic mentality.

“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”

The sublime is a recurring theme throughout Gothic literature. Although the word (like “awesome”) has lost a lot of it’s original luster over the intervening decades, sublime doesn’t really mean elevated and lofty (or even heavenly) as it’s often used today, but rather something possessing the power and grandeur to induce awe and veneration in the mind of the beholder. Although less than divine, something sublime possessed a wildness and power that transcended human ability to control…or even to comprehend.

Sublime is standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon leaning as far as you dare over the railing and still not being able to see the canyon floor below. Sublime is warrior-queen Galadriel being tempted by the One Ring. Sublime is waking up in the middle of the night in the heart of a wild thunderstorm.

“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”

Gomez isn’t advising Fester to treat a woman he fancies like a princess, or even elevate her to pedestal of angelic nature (who’s idea was it to equate femininity with purity anyway? What a laughable and historically damaging idea. Shame on whatever dead (probably) white dudes promoted that!)

Gomez is advising Fester that if he truly loves a woman he must do everything he can to remind her of how she’s an untameable force of nature who’s grandeur brings him to his knees in awe and terror. Just like Morticia, for Gomez.

I’ll sign off with one of my most favorite quotes of all time, because it feels suddenly very relevant:

“When I find myself surrounded by so much beauty, I feel as if I am the eye of a hurricane.”

- -Sanjay Kulkarni

[low-keygoddess]

Hair ft. Smile and busted blood vessel in my eye

[loveandporkbelly]

Lamb merguez with lemon & parsley at The Progress in San Francisco, CA.

[private-revolution-blog]

Yum ❤️

[gddr6]

Mitt Romney is going to kill donald trump and I support him

[perfecthoard]

#mitt romney redemption arc

[kalimadevi]

Go for it buddy.

[prettyboyshyflizzy]

Side chick shows up to the wedding 40 seconds in

[private-revolution-blog]

Okay but what happened next?

[trufflebootybuttercream-deactiv]

Can I help you !!!!??? 😂😂😂😂

[iamrushin-deactivated20230412]

how am I just seeing this?! lol. he dropped out anyway.

[sungawddess-deactivated20180923]

The “can I help you?!” Got me crying omg 😂😂

[constructedparadox]

“CAN I HELP YOU!?!?” 😡😠😡😠😡

They put “Can he help her?” On the screen! 😂😂😂😂

[temporaryforevers143]

💀💀💀 how I miss this

[prettyboyshyflizzy]

LMAOOOO

[lsferr]

LMFAO wow

[fluffgawd]

😂😂😂😂

[private-revolution-blog]

Oh nahh 😭😭😭

[for-marginalized-bw-only-deacti]

**sips tea**

I mean like…

[imsojheanelle]

Actually, there are black people that have natural blonde hair. We are the mothers and fathers if civilization, so we have all the traits of every race.

Google “Melanesians”

[for-marginalized-bw-only-deacti]

Most of us know this, but these are for those brothas who always want to shame and blame black women about wearing blonde hair, and always claim we can’t complain about cultural appropriation when we wear or dye our hair blond, so I decided to post a comment pointing out the hypocrisy of these brothas who never shame black men for putting color in their hair or putting blonde in their hair.

Fetty Wap and all these brothas walking around her blonde to the tips and not a peep is made. I just wanted to call out their hypocrisy to prove they just want to bash black women just to put down black women.

Tell these Hoteps who always want to shame black women and take up for culture appropriating white/non-black women to Google “Melanesians” they need the history the most.

[black-culture]

Arm must be tired from reaching.

[sugarmacaron]

niggas be like “i need to find a girl that goes to the library, not the club” but ain’t read a book since horton hears a who

[projectqueer]

The 'Black, Queer, Feminist' Legal Trailblazer You've Never Heard Of

Pauli Murray championed the fight for gender equality, achieved sainthood and helped desegregate schools, all while pushing against Mad Men-era social norms.

Dr. Pauli Murray is hardly the household name that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is, but a recent profile in Salon argues she should be. As Salon’s Brittney Cooper explains, Murray, who graduated from the Howard University School of Law in 1944, was one of the first lawyers to argue that the Equal Protection Clause’s approach to racial discrimination should apply equally to gender-based discrimination. Ginsburg credits Murray’s work as the inspiration for her 1971 brief in Reed v. Reed, which ruled that women could not be excluded as administrators of personal estates based on their gender. The Supreme Court case marked the first time that the Equal Protection Clause was applied to sex discrimination, and has served as precedent for many arguments in the decades since then. Ginsburg found Murray’s prior arguments so important to her own that she elected to put Murray down as an honorary co-author on the milestone brief.

CLICK THE HEADER LINK TO READ THE FULL ARTICLE.

[dionnesims]

Dear child, you are beautiful. Your skin is home to rich, plentiful melanin that radiates warmth. You are a product of the sun’s loving kisses. Your nose, lips, and eyes were passed down to you by queens of past, and should be praised as such. And when the magazines fail to show you anything other than pale and porcelain, I will tug your curls and remind you that just because your beauty is not mass-produced, does not mean it does not fill every space you enter.   Dear child, you matter. Generations before you believed you were worth fighting for. They held signs in their hands and hope in their eyes and said, “we will march for them. They are the future.” You hold as much life in you as there ever was, and deserve to discover all that your life can be. And when you hear of yet another injustice and find me with tears running down your cheeks, I will kiss your nose and remind you of the love and strength you came from. I will march for you. You are the future.

“what every little black girl needs to hear.” // dionne sims (via dionnesims)

[sweetoothgirl]

Caramel Pecan Ice Cream Sandwich Cake

[private-revolution-blog]

😩😩

[spiritualinspiration2]

[tastefullyoffensive]

Babylonian era problems. (photo via tbc34)

[dama3-deactivated20210619]

old school hate mail

[jakovu]

Imagine how pissed you have to be to engrave a rock

[thesparkofrevolution]

Ok but there was this guy called Ea-nasir who was a total crook and would actually cheat people ought of good copper and sell them shit instead. The amount of correspondences complaining to and about this guy are HILARIOUS.

[skeletonrex-deactivated20151101]

Are you telling me we know about a specific guy who lived 5000 years ago, by name, because he was a huge asshole

[thesparkofrevolution]

More like 4000 years ago but yes. Ea-nasir and his dodgy business deals.

[prokopetz]

And we haven’t even touched on the true hilarity of the situation yet. Consider two additional facts:

He wasn’t just into copper trading. There are letters complaining about Ea-nasir’s business practices with respect to everything from kitchenwares to real estate speculation to second-hand clothing. The guy was everywhere.

The majority of the surviving correspondences regarding Ea-nasir were recovered from one particular room in a building that is believed to have been Ea-nasir’s own house.

Like, these are clay tablets. They’re bulky, fragile, and difficult to store. They typically weren’t kept long-term unless they contained financial records or other vital information (which is why we have huge reams of financial data about ancient Babylon in spite of how little we know about the actual culture: most of the surviving tablets are commercial inventories, bills of sale, etc.).

But this guy, this Ea-nasir, he kept all of his angry letters - hundreds of them - and meticulously filed and preserved them in a dedicated room in his house. What kind of guy does that?

[ source ]

[sumerianlanguage]

every time this post comes across my dash (which is often) it has even more cool info attached to it

[note-a-bear]

Ea-Nasir was a cancer, guaranfuckingtee

[private-revolution-blog]

This was a full on belly laugh omg

[thr0atmistress-deactivated20191]

[private-revolution-blog]

Me this week

[fajrarmy-blog]

END OF YEAR SALE: 30% OF ALL ITEMS. Apply discount code ‘EVERYTHING’ at checkout! We ship worldwide:  Shop now - short sleeves / long sleeves and sweatshirts

[private-revolution-blog]

Want 😔