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[great-and-small]

The group chat officially deemed me an “eccentric” just because I’m doing an Argonian ichthyologist play-through of Skyrim rn where my character is writing a thesis on Cyrodilic Spadetails and I shared the character’s hypothetical research folder that I created to help with my immersion in the role.

Like sorry I take the RP in RPG seriously but how else would I get into the headspace of a character who is only slaying dragons to sell their bones and fund research that will hopefully be published in the Tamriel Journal of Limnetic Science??

[dogpuppy]

[keepbreathingky]

[ryebreadgf]

why is the hill silent. it's supposed to be alive with the sound of music

[ryebreadgf]

this is meant to be read in the tone of an exasperated gay theater director

[lenjaminmacbuttons]

[standandwatchshitburn]

why so silent good messieurs

[nsfwitchy2]

I’m SEVERELY disappointed this post didn’t include the eye witness statement of the mirror crash incident in question

[five-red-feathers]

thinking about tuataras

even tho they reaaally look like lizards and their closest extant relative is indeed the lizard,

tuataras are as related to a lizard as we are to a platypus.

[mockva]

Man notices an Eagle eyeing the fish he just caught

[mexicain-sans-frontiers-v2]

[the-davest-of-uncles]

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

[kosmogrl]

[insomniac-arrest]

the road OUT of hell is also paved with good intentions. That’s just kind of the main road we’ve got

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

People think hell can afford TWO roads? In this economy? You're taking the Good Intentions Highway both directions, mate.

[butchyena]

this is the funniest fucking billboard possible. who the fuck paid for this

[teaboot]

Names that are normal for old people but weird when you're a baby:

Bartholomew

Dolores

Norman

Harold

Magnolia

Names that are normal for babies but weird when you're old:

Maddison

Tanner

Skylar

Mckenzie

Logan

Names that are normal for old people and normal for babies:

Elizabeth

Mary

Michael

Finnegan

Peter

Names that are weird when you're a baby and weird when you're old:

Radish

Kerosene

Australopithecus

Anthill

Hedgemony

Names that are weird when you're normal:

Balthazar

Romulus

Clandestia

Persephone

Kremulon

Names that are normal when you're weird:

Al

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[thememedaddy]

[thesuperheroesnetwork]

Texts From Superheroes

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[sometiktoksarevalid]

[teaboot]

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

[teaboot]

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

[teaboot]

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

[teaboot]

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

[teaboot]

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

[sindri42]

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

[roach-works]

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

[teaboot]

Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction

[championofdnd]

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

[teaboot]

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

[teaboot]

beating this dead horse with memes

[everythingismadeofchaos]

Hey this was a real fun little read. It's so great to find these treasures on this site

[teaboot]

We’re happy to have you!

[foldingfittedsheets]

I’m covering a different store today and it’s got some pros and cons.

Pros:

Carpeted

Has a window wall that looks out onto several trees which is a lovely vibe

Carries some beds my store doesn’t

Cons:

There’s a scent machine I can’t find fugging up the air with a perfume I’m allergic to

A nearby business appears to be breeding or perhaps battling pterodactyls and there’s a faint near constant sound of eldritch screaming coming through under the music.

[foldingfittedsheets]

New theory:

The business next store is not for humans

It is instead full of thousands of furious parakeets that are possibly battling for supremacy and creating a nonstop cacophony of bloodlust

[foldingfittedsheets]

Final result:

The building next door is in fact a Tae Kwon Do studio and it’s full of furiously screaming children which when filtered through a thin wall and corporate music sounds identical to 1000 parakeets/pterodactyls

[foldingfittedsheets]

[sometiktoksarevalid]