This mild Wikipedia sentence is like the understatement of all time
Here are some crazy grasshopper mouse facts for those who are not familiar with the most badass mouse species on the planet
- They are primarily carnivorous, and their diet is made up of not only bugs but also snakes, lizards and other mice.
- They hunt like true predators, slowly stalking and creeping up on their prey before ambushing them. They will sometimes let out a screech as they attack.
- Like wolves, they howl to establish territory and have a specially developed throat to produce louder vocalizations. They will stand up on their hind legs and throw their head back to howl- a sound that can be heard from 100 meters away!
- Grasshopper mouse behavior is linked to lunar cycles and they are more active during a full moon.
- These mice have been hunting bark scorpions and evolving alongside them for so long that they’ve evolved a mutation where scorpion venom that is lethal to other animals is converted into a painkiller in the grasshopper mouse’s body.
More (Self-indulgent) facts of The Lady and the Wulf
Lady Gotham doesn't actually know her own city very well or the people living in it. She only paid attention to people who pay attention to her. For example, she knows a lot about the Waynes across generations because they actively work to improve the city and care about it. On the other hand, Joker, who never thinks of Gotham as anything other than a personal playground, wasn't someone she recognized and genuinely thought was a demon. Much like how people say the more you acknowledge a ghost, the longer it sticks, the more people loved Gotham City, the more Lady Gotham knew about them.
Wulf has a fear of animal control. He once saw thier truck driving down the street and took off like he was in a horror movie chase scene. It triggered a stampede because people from Crime Alley assumed someone randomly breaking into a run meant either a shooting or a cop raid. A lot of them learn not to ask why they are running, especially when a man Wulf's size does it. He also hates cops but doesn't flee at the sight of them; he just scoffs and glares at them mistrustfully.
Lady Gotham is often asked for her photo by Gotham tourists who think she's a cosplayer or street performer. They like to pose with her, or have her pose against one of Gotham's iconic Gothic-style buildings. The locals know she's one of the homeless populace, but they understand the tourists' excitement. She's very attractive if you can look past her... unique personality.
Wulf's wanderlust takes him on a lot of side quests. Since he's so charismatic, he often convinces people to teach him random skills while on said side quests. It's a patchwork of abilities that can be useful- he knows how to make soap and some basic car maintenance- and some that aren't -He knows how to make perfect owl hoots and can tell how bad a storm is based on knee pain.
Lady Gotham once got into a rap battle with a middle school kid. She didn't know it, because rapping is an actual language in the Infinite Realms, descending from Sirins who sing every word they say; it's the modern slang, and she had assumed they were having a normal conversation that turned rude midway. She lost, but put up a worthy fight against the worst thing to a person's self-esteem: a thirteen-year-old child.
Wulf enjoys finding food trucks or small, struggling family-owned restaurants to eat at. He thinks the food tastes more authentic and often better there than at big-name places. He goes feral for street vendors and will follow people to thier car if they claim they're selling food from the trunk. It's how he found the best tamale maker in the city. He often pays with favors or charms people into giving him free meals, since he's flat broke.
Lady Gotham has had favorite humans throughout Gotham's history. The list includes Martha Wayne, Tim Drake, James Gordon, Jason Bard, Leslie Thompson, Vicki Vale, Anthony Wayne, and Solomon Wayne. Her reasoning? These people loved the city and were entertaining to watch. Most were based on vibes, though. Thomas Wayne is an honorable mention because she knew a lot about him despite not liking whatever the hell was wrong with him. It was against her will to know Thomas Wayne.
Wulf hates his new dulled senses. He mainly used scent, but his hearing, his sight, and even his taste have gone down since he was made fully human. He gets frustrated when he can't see or hear as well as he used to. He often tries to force himself into a heightened state and ends up looking odd, pressing himself against a wall to hear sounds inside a building or running into things a lot because the lighting is too low, but he's too stubborn to ask for a flashlight. He tells many, many, many people that he's a wolf on the inside.
Lady Gotham breaks into many places because her favorite humans often did, and she assumes it's a requirement for being among the best. She understands that breaking and entering is a crime but thinks it's like taking a right turn on red. It's allowed, even though people say it's not officially. She mostly does it for hygiene purposes, like taking showers and washing laundry, but occasionally she'll do it to see what someone's decorations look like. If she doesn't like the layout, she'll rearrange furniture and leave before the homeowners get back. It unnerves a lot of people despite no theft or property damage being done to thier home.
Wulf gets along with almost all the street kids, knows them by name (or the nicknames they go by), and is the first to notice if one vanishes. He may have lesser senses, but he's one heck of a tracker and can figure out the last known place the kids were when they disappear. Because of this, Wulf becomes one of Red Hood's best informants, especially after Wulf informed him he would kill anyone he found mistreating kids. Jason can tell he means it and respects the hell out of Wulf for it. Bruce still thinks they are old classmates from the monks and is worried that Wulf will go through on his promise.
Danny, de-age to a seven-year-old: Hello. Would you care for a shoe shine?
Bruce: ....Yes, of course. How much?
Danny: Oh, whatever you can spare. *setting down a portable shining bench* Please put your feet here.
Bruce: Of course. Have you been doing this long?
Danny: a couple of weeks. I'm getting really good at it.
Bruce: You are. These look brand new. *hands him a $ 100 bill*
Danny: Wow! Thank you!
Bruce: Of course. Do you have a safe place to sleep?
Danny: Nope.
Bruce: .....would you like one?
Danny: Sure!
Bruce: Really?
Danny: Yeah, if you're offering!
Bruce: Its never been this easy before....somethings off. Aren't you the less bit wary of me?
Danny: Nah, I can sense people's intentions. You're not a creep trying to get a kid to a second location. You just want to give me a safe place off the streets.
Bruce: .....Are you a Meta?
Danny: I don't belive in organized religion.
Bruce: That's not....you know what, nevermind. Have you had something to eat?
Danny: I found a half finished donut in the trash earlier.
Bruce: Oh. No. Let's get you some dinner.
Danny: I'm buying! *waving money Bruce gave him* I had a good day of work!
thing I am proud of: when the doctor started going on a weird rant about long covid not being real I paused and listened to his nonsense for a bit and then very calmly said, in a polite and curious tone, "you don't believe in post-viral illness?" and he like. stammered a bunch and was like OH WELL I'M NOT SAYING -- I DON'T...I just think ..! and backpedaled awkwardly while I just sat there like :3c interesting :3c thank you so much for clarifying your stance on this :3c
an important skill for chronically ill people to develop is the ability to treat the doctor as though they are simply a person you are interviewing to find out how much they know about your condition.
Holy shit op this is LITERALLY in the book 'Never Split The Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depends On It'. Written by a guy who did hostage negotiation and then tried doing business negotiation, and mopped the floor with industry experts.
I'm fortunate enough to have a primary care doctor who knows about hEDS, but it's occurring to me that the skills in this book could be medically life changing for chronically ill folks of all kinds. Like. Literally a matter of life and death, especially for BIPOC and/or fat and/or young people who are having their issues dismissed.
But low key makes me think about how people with adhd have been raised their whole lives to value a day based on what they accomplished vs what they experienced
I think your point is excellent. But also consider:
That list might say things like “Paint a picture. Go birdwatching. Finish that great novel I started reading. Call my grandma. Learn to bake a cake. Visit my sister. Play piano.”
For me at least, the good/fun things are harder without meds too. I can have the best intentions, but following through is hard.
Yeah. I once made a post in which I complained about being frustrated at my brain, and one of the things I said was:
“I should not be struggling this much to do things that I want to do and have the time, space, energy, and skills to do.
Actually, when I list it all out like that, I should not be struggling at all to do those kinds of tasks.”
And I STILL somehow got a rant about capitalism in the comments. And I do understand where it’s coming from, yes, but goddamn did I not make myself clear? Did I not say Things That I Want To Do???
you make one fucking post where the point is “women are encouraged to develop disordered eating from a very young age and that impacts how we view the ‘natural’ size and shape of women” and too many reblogs later i am being accused of saying short people wouldn’t exist if they ate better growing up. i’m sorry but if you genuinely think i was saying that you are just a buffoon. i cannot and will not sanction your buffoonery.
Tim and Danny's first dinner with the Waynes had gone.... interesting. It was one month after they had confessed their feelings to each other and had Tim move into Danny's room. (Tim had given him the master room when he first bought the penthouse.)
Surprisingly, life hadn't changed that much for them, except they were a lot more physically affectionate with each other- Danny loved cuddling and shielding away from the cold in Tim's chest- and there were a lot more conversations about what they liked and disliked. Tim had never had a partner who understood that he needed to set very detailed boundaries and that he had to talk them out, as though he were creating plans to defend them.
He needed details. Pretend scenarios. Pre-plan actions to take if he accidentally crosses a boundary. Much as he planned their fake relationship to the finest detail, he did the same with their real one.
That was off-putting to some, but Danny took it in stride and even helped by filling out some of Tim's surveys and taking any personally quiz Tim threw at him. Danny told him it was sweet, but he didn't want Tim making any drastic changes to his personality to fit whatever ideal he thinks Danny would want, based on the data he collected.
Tim wasn't brave enough to tell Danny that, based on the results, they were perfect together in every way. He spent a good hour rolling on his bed and kicking his feet as he compared their answers. Thankfully, Danny had been at work and not aware of Tim's little celebration.
He was present for Tim flinging himself into his arms without explanation, but, again, Danny took that in stride.
Another thing they had to get sorted was the lie they told his family.
They also planned every detail of Danny's fake pregnancy. It started with both deciding what kind of being Danny was. Tim knew everything about Danny being a Halfa; however, Danny asked him not to tell his family yet because he still didn't feel comfortable sharing it. Since it was his secret to tell, Tim decided to create a fake trail.
They would not say what he was, but they would do their best to hint at Danny being a Changeling. It would be a bit of work to leave the right amount of crumbs to manipulate the Waynes into thinking they were doing detective work, but they could do it.
They already have some groundwork laid.
Tim knew that his family was taking care to follow Danny home, drive by his workplace to ensure he was fine, and Bruce let it slip more than once that he could add Danny to the payroll- outside of Tim's line of command to not break any rules- and ensure he wasn't overworking in his state. All that because they were under the impression that Danny was carrying very precious cargo.
Tim had managed to dodge their attempts at conversation, playing that he was upset they almost drove his partner away, but a month was all the Waynes could handle. Thus, the pair was on their way to the first family dinner and the one where Tim was meant to officially introduce Danny.
"Are you ready?" Tim asked one last time when they pulled up towards the Wayne Manor gate.
Danny turned to him with bright, glowing eyes that he could flicker on and off, wiggling his eyebrows. "But of course."
A rush of affection bleeds through Tim's chest, and he can't help but lean over for a kiss, knowing that the camera on the gate just moved and zoomed in on their window. He also knows that his tint won't allow his family to see their faces, and more specifically, their lips, to figure out what they are saying.
The gate opens slowly, and Tim redundantly pulls away from Danny's lips (they aren't soft. He needs to get the other into the habit of using Chapstick.). They slowly roll up to the front of the Manor, Tim choosing to park by the fountain in front of the door instead of the garage, so they have an excuse to leave without staying the night. He knows that they are in view of his family, and with one final nod to Danny, he throws his door open to scramble to Danny's side.
In the gentlest movements he can muster, Tim opens the passenger seat, holding out his hand to Danny, who makes an effort to slide out. He wobbles a little but straightens once his feet are under him.
Tim takes his cue to say his line. "Are you alright, Danny?"
"Yes, just some motion sickness," Danny mutters, smiling weakly.
Tim sighs, caressing his cheek, still holding Danny's hand in his other hand. "I can ask Alfred for some nausea medication."
"No. No. No. I don't want to be a bother."
"It's not a bother. Especially in your condition."
"I'm fine, Tim, really. I just need a minute. I'm already feeling better." Danny nods his head to the manor. His words are slightly annoyed, but there is affection underlying them, like he can't help but find Tim endearing for his concern. "Come on. Your family is waiting."
Tim hesitates for a second or two before dropping the subject. He leads Danny up the stairs, still holding his hand. He runs his thumb over Danny's cold knuckles, taking enjoyment from the contact. He pretends he didn't notice Stephine and Duke scrambling away from the windows.
Before they can even get near the door to use the knocker or the doorbell, the heavy wood swings open. Standing in the doorway, beaming with barely concealed excitement, is Dick; he claps his hands, spreading his arms as if he were still in the circus and was about to introduce the showstopper of the night. "Hello, Danny! Welcome to Manor! I'm Richard Grayson, Tim's older brother. You can call me Dick. It's so lovely to meet you!"
Danny doesn't have to pretend to be surprised by the greeting, but he recovers quickly to reply. "Nice to meet you too, Dick. I'm Danny Fenton. Tim's boyfriend."
It's not the first time he's heard that title. Tim's boyfriend. And yet they make his stomach flip, and his heart leap with joy. Tim can't help but squeeze Danny's hand, knowing he's making an utterly bestoyed expression like an idiot, but does not care.
If anything, Dick looks to beam even brighter. If he were a meta, he likely would give the sun a run for its money. "That's wonderful! Come in, come in! Are you cold?"
Danny's face stiffens, just as planned, when someone notices he is wearing an out-of-season wool hat, scarf, and gloves. He even reaches up to nervously fiddle with it as he gives a nervous laugh, "Yeah....a little."
Dick notices but doesn't bring attention to it as he assures Danny they can turn up the heat or even get him a blanket. He leads them through the main hall with the ease of a man who is used to taking charge and charming even the most stubborn of people. Dick makes the offer to accommodate Danny's needs as if it were second nature, not an odd request.
Danny relaxes next to him, allowing his shoulders to fall and the tension to ease out of his back. He looks just like any man who was grateful that someone hadn't bothered to dig deeper into the conversation. If anyone- besides Cass, as she was a 50/50 chance of seeing through everything- were to see Danny, they would have never guessed this was premeditated.
He's hot, and he can lie, Tim mentally cheers. And He's all mine!
The trio makes pointless chatter, Danny asking questions about the decorations and throwing in compliments. Dick is happy to answer as many questions as he can, giving a brief explanation of the piece or retelling a funny family story of a certain area. Tim remained mostly quiet, as if trying to observe how his brother reacted to his boyfriend, but he made appropriate throat-clearing noises in the back of his throat whenever Dick mention a embareessing moment of his.
"Everyone is already seated for dinner. You just arrived in time." Dick announces the opening of the door to the main dining hall. The most elegant one. The one Bruce only uses for special family moments like the holidays. Tim is surprised by this, seeing as meeting a new romantic partner was usually reserved for the green room dining hall.
This means Bruce is either trying really hard to impress Danny or he thinks Danny is the one for Tim. He isn't sure how he feels about that, but he won't like that it's a nice thought to have Danny to himself until death do them part.
Very nice thought, in fact.
"Tim and Danny are here!" Dick yells unnecessarily, and the family turns to look at them. They are all wearing formal casual, with elegant hairdos and even some tasteful makeup on Cass, Steph, and, surprisingly, Harper (she normally hates it). It's obvious an attempt to impress Danny, but all they did was make Danny and Tim seem underdressed.
Danny notices immediately. He pauses, glancing down at his best pair of jeans and the softest milk-cream cardigan beneath his dark brown wool set. Tim can practically hear him scream that he was not dressed to impress, watching panic bleed into his eyes as he nervously smiles at the room.
The Waynes' sharp eyes catch the entire thing too, staring with hawk eyes and bright smiles. Tim wants to smack them all on the back of the head and yell, "They look creepy as hell," but chooses to lean in to whisper into Danny's ear. "You look fine. There was no dress code, which is why I came in jeans and a t-shirt."
Danny's smile turns strained, but he tries to push through as he gives out a greeting. Before he can finish the last syllabus, Damian appears at his elbow- like a danm shadow- making both Tim and Danny jump.
"Good evening, Daniel. I want you to have these," Damian declares, holding up a pair of the most expensive and best supportive slippers on the market. "They make being on your feet easier and help with any swollen ankle pain."
"Oh," Danny blinks. "Thank you....?"
"Damian Wayne." The boy replies, staring at Danny like he was seeing a field of baby ducklings. Tim had no idea that kid could make such an innocent expression. He almost feels bad about lying about Danny having a baby. The boy was obviously very excited about the idea of a baby in the family.
Then again, almost is not entirely. Tim thinks, amused as Danny takes the slippers, patting Damian's head. The boy's face spasms, fighting the displeasure of being treated like a child, and the happiness that Danny accepted his gift before he nods and bows.
A proper bow of respect with a hand over his heart, back straight and lean, though not bent at the waist. Damian then turns on his heels, going over to his seat, ignoring the gawking of everyone but Bruce, who smiles proudly.
"Well, don't just stand there. Sit. Sit," Bruce calls out, gesturing to the two empty seats next to him. Dick has already settled in before his own dinner, folding the napkin in his lap. Tim leads his partner, ignoring the way he has to use Danny's shoulder to push him, since Danny's entire attention is on his gift.
He seems unaware of Tim helping him into his seat as his family watches on. Tim doesn't need to look around the room to know everyone is silently confused about why Danny seems hyper-focused on the gift, while Damian shifts nervously.
Danny's eyes flash green as he turns the gift over and over in his hands. Tim wonders what he is up to before Danny abruptly stands. "I have to leave."
Tim raises a brow at the odd echo that took over Danny's voice. That's a little of Phantom's voice, which means this is part of the game. Not only that, but Danny's eyes weren't just green; they were glowing like neon signs, and even his hair was slightly flickering with a glow that you only notice if you are observant. Thankfully, the Waynes were all heavily observant.
Tim didn't have to pretend to be confused about this behavior.
What could-oh.
Danny was following an old piece of folklore: giving a Changeling a gift of kindness compels them to leave. He almost cackles but manages to stand and gently place his hand on his boyfriend's shoulder, lowering him into his seat.
"Danny Fenton, may I have some of your snacks?" He asks patiently, and Danny's eyes swing to him. They appear unfocused for a moment, but then clear as if he was just becoming aware of his surroundings again.
"Sure!" Danny chirps- slightly too high to be human- as he digs out a candy bar from his pocket. "I made it myself. You must eat it. "
Tim accepts the candy, and at once, Danny's appearance snaps back to human as he blinks, looking surprised. He glances down the table, turns beet red, and lowers his hat, hiding his face. "I ugh... apologize about that...I um...I had funny brain because of the bab- I mean I didn't sleep well last night!"
Tim carefully unwraps his candy using the movement to discreetly glance at his family's reaction.
He sees the moment they all take the bait, and even Cass seems to be unable to see through their act. They truly believe that Danny is carrying a baby and that he is not human. They would likely spend the next few months desperately trying to figure out what he was based on his little act.
None of them would even wonder why Danny makes his own candy and his own coffee blends.
Hook. Line. And Sinker. Tim smirks around his chocolate as Bruce easily throws on a half act of Brucie and his real self to assure Danny it was fine. They are saved from any further questioning by Alfred, who chooses to wheel out the dinner.
Tim does not doubt the man was listening and chose that exact moment to do so.
This was going to be so much fun. Tim thinks as Danny carefully avoids the silver cutlery. Alfred's sharp eyes take notice, and he is quick to pretend to drop them and replace them with a metal substitute. Danny happily digs in, not noticing the way the Waynes scramble to write that little nugget of knowledge down in their mental files. So much fun!
I have finally finished literally everything in the master posts and what hasn’t been added. You have fed me enough content to last months but now I’m addicted. Please for my sanity update simp Tim whether it’s Dauntless matchmaker or Alley Boyfriends or Alfred’s Boy. Hugs! And happy holidays ٩( ᐛ )و
Tracking down Danny was a lot harder than Tim had anticipated. He first went to the apartment Danny had originally lived in. The heat and the water had long ago been fixed under Tim's supervision, but Danny had remained at the penthouse regardless.
Tim had told himself it was because it made it easier to lie to his family. But in reality, maybe it had made it easier to lie to himself because that meant Danny stayed at their shared penthouse for Tim's company.
Despite what the the emmployees thought, Danny wasn't materialistic. He adored being gifted things and loved the expensive restaurants Tim brought him to, but Danny made it clear he didn't expect them. In fact, he sometimes seemed horrified by Tim's idea of what was considered a small gift.
He hadn't even taken his money, even though Tim had offered more than once to have Danny quit his job and come work for him at W.E. whenever Danny came home complaining about his day. Customer service was not for the weak.
Tim hated the idea of some self-important jerk yelling at Danny to get free coffee or just stroke their own ego. He brought it up with Tam while she was cross-training those interns, but she shot down his idea fast, citing appropriate workplace behavior and Danny's total lack of required skills. The interns were staring at their feet, awkwardly, while Tim attempted to negotiate a position for Danny, claiming he didn't need to do anything too difficult, even if it was just doing Tim's shred.
Tam countered with open job positions Danny could do, but they weren't too different from Danny's current work. A custodian is an important job, and Tim is grateful for every single one on his team, but he didn't want Danny doing such a hard job. He whined about Tam's unfairness to Danny that same night, and the man laughed, citing that he would rather die than work in an office anyway, even when Tim offered a fairly large- and ridiculous- starting pay. He wasn't in it for the money.
Danny just liked being around Tim. He didn't fully state it but Tim could tell.
Or at least he thought he could.
It was easier to let himself believe that than to think that the reason Tim got to head home every night to Danny cooking dinner with a content little smile on the edge of his lips, like his roommate was always one comment away from a laugh and the lingering smell of freshly brewed coffee around him was that Danny liked him enough to wait.
Yes, he started this all because he needed his daily fix of Heart Attack, but somewhere along the way, it was the brisa that meant more than the coffee.
Tim couldn't quite name when it happened, but he knew he couldn't go back to a life without Danny. The other man managed to fill a room even when he wasn't in it. Danny was the one who cared about the decorations in their penthouse, the one who hummed as he moved from room to room, and the one who tried his best to see the shots Tim could capture on his way home just so the two could try to find them on a walk together.
He was whimpsical in a way Tim, couldn't hope to match even with the eyes of a artist.
Danny only really started working at Heart Attack because he had nothing else to do. He didn't pursue a higher degree or had dreams of making it big in a city like Gotham. In fact, he only left his little town because he was bored with it, and landed in the first place that was secure enough for him to do so.
He had no goal past making it to the end of the week and starting over.
Tim often felt like Danny was a lost boat, floating in a sea, letting the waves take him without a care. Tim, on the other hand, needed an end goal; he needed to know what he was striving for.
His best plans were made on the seat of his pants, but they still existed, and when he had the time, they were among the hardest in the world to counter.
Where Danny needed structure, Tim provided it, and when Tim needed to be reminded, there was more to life than all the responsibilities he shouldered; Danny would have given him a coffee and taken him through the city, seeing things he hadn't known were there despite being the one born and raised there.
They complemented each other in this way, like yin and yang.
And now his Yin was missing.
Tim sighs, rolling to a stop on his bike, cracking his neck to ease the tight tension building up there. Danny had not been at his old home, his favorite restaurant, he hadn't passed through any airlines, trains, or buses, and no hotel room was booked under his name.
Tim wasn't sure where on Earth he could have gone.
After his family had gotten it into their heads that Tim had a possibly pregnant boyfriend waiting, they had tripped over themselves to apologize for delaying him and practically pushed him out the door. Tim managed to keep his act together before losing it at the end of his old street, pulled to the side of the road, and grabbed his phone, intending to let Danny know this new humorous development.
He was also planning to casually ask in the same conversation where the jars his roommate was hiding were, only to freeze at the message Danny had left.
Horrified, he nearly entered the Speed Force as he raced across town, hoping to catch Danny before his roommate ran. He arrived at a cold, empty penthouse, most of Danny's possessions gone- he left behind little things like a toothbrush, some socks, a random jacket discarded across the piano- and a still steaming coffee on the counter.
Danny had poured it into one of those thermos mugs because he was considerate like that. It didn't give him any clue how long ago Danny had left, that a regular mug might have, but it at least told him that his family had kept their word and stayed away for the night.
As far as his family knew, Danny and Tim were discussing whether Wayne knew about them and was prepping for the vacation they were going on together the following morning. This meant Tim had to find Danny before the idiots thought they had scared away his pregnant nonhuman boyfriend. Once they inadvertently went back on their word and swung by his home to get a good look at Danny, they realized there was a large lack of said boyfriend around his home.
"Where are you?" He muttered, looking down at his phone. He had placed a tracker in Danny's phone, but it seemed that his friend had forgotten the darn thing in his personal bathroom.
If there was one habit of Danny's that drove Tim up a wall, it was his constant misplacing of his cell.
"Where could you have gone?" He sighs, leaning the screen on his face as the dot that should have been Danny is still beeping back at home. Tim isn't even sure why he ran.
The cold wind made Tim shiver as he thought about Danny's text message.
I'm sorry I kept my powers hidden from you. I just couldn't bring myself to speak about them when we first met, and once I got to know you, I was too afraid you'd be disgusted by me.
Why did Danny assume Tim would be disgusted by discovering he was a meta, or a nonhuman? Had he ever given the other a reason to think Tim was a bigot? How had he not noticed Danny hoarding, whatever the green goo was?
The thought swarmed around his head, as memories flashed by, and Tim tried desperately to pinpoint the moment he had made Danny feel like he wasn't safe with him.
Another burst of cold wind made Tim hunch over, annoyed that even the weather was against him-wait a minute.
It shouldn't be cold. It's supposed to be a cool night, sure, but not freezing. Tim had triple-checked the weather on various sources so he could know exactly what they would need for their camping trip.
Looking up, Tim is shocked to find himself on a very familiar street, clear across the city. He must have come here unconsciously while thinking of Danny.
He was standing before the very branch of Heart Attack Coffee, the very one Danny worked at, and the one where he met the man. It looked the same since the last time Tim had been there, though it had been a while, since Danny brought him the drinks instead of Tim coming to him. There was just one jarring change.
The entire building was covered in ice, and large iceicle spikes made a trail from the front of the building into the back alley. It looked like it had been blasted by Mr.Freeze's latest ray.
Or by a non-human who had stored a green liquid that may or may not be a version of Mr. Freeze's formula, and the kind of person Tim has been searching for in the last few hours.
Cautiously, Tim got off his bike, taking time to kick the lever down properly. He pocketed his keys, bouncing his eyes around the building, looking for clues. The first thing he noticed was that the spikes grew from the ground up, meaning they sprouted rather than emerging from a shoot. Mr. Freeze's freeze gun always showed where the man was standing when he shot it.
The building itself seemed covered in layers of frost, not nearly as affected as the rest of the area. The left side had the most layers, looking nearly white and allowing only a few red hints from the old brick to slip through. It was the same side of the alleyway.
Tim approached carefully, keeping his eyes and ears peeled for any movement or sound. Thankfully, nothing jumped out at him, though he did nearly slip when his foot landed on a patch made entirely of ice. Around him, small piles of snow appeared, and by the time he was completely in the alley, he found himself in a winter wonderland.
The snow expanded, growing from small piles to halfway up his calves, forcing Tim to dig and trudge through it. The cold fluff sank into his jeans and shoes in an uncomfortable, wet chill, but Tim pushed on, because at the end of the alley, where it opened onto the area where he first met Danny for coffee, stood the spikes, much taller and thicker, rising to a good seven feet. The large crystals were shaped into a circle, forming a bizarre nest enclosed on all sides.
Through the ice, he can see a blurry figure sitting on the ground, knees pulled to his chest, and head bent over his folded arms, hiding from the world.
Danny.
His breath caught in his chest, and the tight fear that had formed around his chest since reading Danny's text eased just a little. It had to mean something for Danny to go to the alley in which their strange arrangement came to be right? Tim ignored the little voice that told him this was Danny's workplace, as he paced back and forth looking for a way inside Danny's enclosure.
Eventually, it became apparent that the only way in was to climb up and hop down from above. Tim ran his hands over the ice, testing the best way to grip onto it before moving back to give himself a running start. Running through the snow slowed him down a bit, but not enough to be a problem. His movement made a lot of noise, yet Danny didn't move an inch, sending a spike of worry through him.
Leaping up, Tim used his feet to push himself upwards, taking a few steps until his hands could grip around one of the spikes, using his training to pull himself up and over the edge. He leaps down, ensuring his knees bend to take most ot eh shock of the fall, landing with a loud thump.
Danny flinches, lifting his head as Tim crouches before him. Tears roll down Danny's face, his eyes red and puffy, his cheeks flushed. Danny's a pretty crier.
Tim shouldn't be surprised by this, but he is, because he's never seen Danny since they met. His heart aches.
"Tim?" Danny whispers, as if he isn't sure whether it's a dream. Tim slowly rises to his full height, forcing Danny to lean his head back to keep eye contact.
"Danny...." Tim starts, flattering a little before pushing on, "Danny, I'm so glad I found you."
He is thinking of dropping to his knees before him, but Danny leaps to his feet before he can, a look of fear on his face now. "Tim, I can explain-"
Tim cuts him off by flinging himself into Danny's arms, dragging him into a desperate hug, and squeezing without his might. "Danny, I found you."
There is a pause, where Danny seems more confused than anything before the other man wraps his arms around Tim, hugging just as tight. "You aren't mad?"
"I'm mad, alright. Mad, you just left without giving me the chance to even talk!" Tim huffed, pressing his nose into Danny's shoulder and breathing him in. He smelled like winter, coffee, and a smell so distinctly Danny that Tim felt himself melt. "Why on earth would I care that you're a meta? "
"I...just....Gotham isn't very accepting and I..." Danny choked, burying his face into Tim's shoulder as well. But instead of breathing him to calm himself, Danny likely did it to hide his new wave of fresh tears. Tim could feel them on his shoulder. "I couldn't risk it....I wouldn't have survived seeing hate in your eyes...."
"Never. Not for you or anyone like you."
"Even if I'm not a meta? Not even a human?"
Tim suspected as much, but it was better to let Danny tell him. "Even then."
Danny gasps, pressing himself closer. "You're warm."
The comment surprises him, but now that he mentioned it, Tim noticed that Danny was alarmingly cold. Like dead-cold. His friend had always run a slightly cooler temperature than others and seemed to always need a blanket, a sweater, or a heater, but he's never been ice-cold like this. "Godness, Danny! Let's get you somewhere warmer. Can you feel your toes or fingers? How long have you been out here? Do we need to go to the hospital?!"
He pushed the man back so he could run his eyes up and down Danny's body. Nothing seemed wrong, but frostbite was no joke. Hell, Tim couldn't even rule out pneumonia, given that Danny is always this cold. His immune system must be shot.
Danny's eyes softened from the surprise, raising one hand to cup Tim's cheek. The flush from the cold spreads across Tim's face. "I'm alright. It's part of my biology. If I don't use my powers for too long, the ice starts to attack my insides. I let a lot of it out. I just need to warm up."
"How long has it been since you've been suppressing your powers for?" Tim demands not letting up. Icy blue eyes, like the crystals surrounding them, flicker to the side in shame, and Tim feels dread dip low in his stomach. "Since we've met?"
"No further than that." Danny sighs, "I've been suppressing my powers since I moved to Gotham. Not many places can I just freeze everything over in a city known for hating metas. Sometimes it will burst out of me when I can't hold it anymore."
Tim considers his options. "Okay, you can come over to the Wayne manor and let loose there. Bruce won't mind, and the Waynes' property is private, so no one will see. I'll buy us a more secluded area if it makes you feel-"
"Tim!" Danny cuts him off, pushing his face to the side with a laugh, "You are not buying me an island."
"An island? That's a great idea. I was thinking somewhere high in the mountains, but that risks exposure. But an island would make it less likely for someone to stumble upon us. I'll search for a location once we get back home."
"....It's still my home?" Danny's voice is small and shy, but very hopeful, and Tim can't help but pull him into another hug.
"Of course it is. It'll always be our home."
"Even though I hide everything from you?"
"Yeah." Tim hums. "Though I am curious. What was that green stuff you were hiding?"
"Natural ectoplasm," Danny replies. He gestures with his hand, and although Tim can't see it, he can feel the movement on his back. Danny is talking about the ice and snow surrounding them. "When this melts, it doesn't turn into water. It turns into natural ectoplasm that I freeze when I use my powers. Ectoplasm is like a natural element, born of death. As long as there is life in the area, there is death."
"Oh, cool. Is it like toxic waste that you need to dispose of safely?"
"No, if left alone, it just returns to nature. But I need ectoplasm to survive. I drink it whenever my ice core starts attacking my body; it's not enough, but it gets me by."
Tim hums, nodding his head. "I see. I see."
"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"
"Not a clue, Love."
The word of endearment slips out without his meaning to, and both men stiffen up, tense and awkward as the word flouts in the air. Tim is mortified, screaming at himself while Danny remains silent, then slowly, he pushes himself back, his eyes running all over Tim. Slowly, Danny says, "I can explain everything, if you're willing to listen."
"Yeah. I...ugh yeah. Should we head home?"
Danny smiles. "Yeah, let's."
"You want to gather your ectoplasm from this?" He asks but Danny shakes his head.
"Let it melt."
The ride back is silent, but with Danny's arms wrapped around his waist and his cold presence at his back, Tim feels at ease. They stumble into the penthouse, nodding their heads at the doorman who gives them a grimace smile, and Tim practically buries Danny in blankets and a pair of his warmest pajamas.
He changes, too, though he keeps his door open, just so he can hear if Danny tries to run. He hears him move around the penthouse, the sound of the kitchen cabinets opening and closing, and lets himself relax long enough to take a quick warm shower. He was planning it cool, but Tim was shaking from the cold, too.
When he returns to the living room, Danny is sitting in the middle of the couch, a hat, gloves, and a scarf wrapped around his sleepwear. On his lap are the four blankets Tim threw at him. Sitting in front of him on the coffee table is a steaming cup of coffee that fills Tim's nostrils and makes his insides settle.
His knees go weak from how much he adores this man.
Danny offers Tim a shy smile, pulling the blankets back. He pats the space beside him, looking a little flushed. "Come sit with me?"
Tim nearly trips over his own two feet as he scrambles to sit. Their shoulds are pressing together, and a wicked amount of hope that his feelings aren't one-sided blooms in Tim's chest. After all, the couch is large enough that he doesn't have to sit right there. In fact, it's five feet wide; he literally could do social distancing.
"Comfortable?" Danny asks
"Hold on." Tim leans forward, stretching out his arms until his fingers close around the mug's handle. "Okay. I'm ready."
Danny takes a deep breath as if gathering all his courage. "First thing you should know is that I'm not a full human. I'm dead."
"Like a zombie?" Tim never thought he would be the one to date an actual zombie, but at least he beat Jason. They always assumed Jason would find a vampire and try to romance, as a result of overconsumption from all those romance novels he was obsessed with.
"No," Danny says, and suddenly there are two bright rings of light, overlapping his body. Tim closes his eyes on instinct, but when the light disappears, he lets his mouth drop. Sitting next to him was Danny, but now with white hair, green eyes, and a slight glow. Other than that, he looked exactly the same and nothing like before at the same time.
The most gorgeous man he had ever seen. Somehow more beautiful in this form than his human form, like he put on a filter, but in real life. Danny takes his silence for something else because he gives a similar smile to the one the doorman had, even offering a weak "Ta-da. I'm a ghost."
Tim continues to stare, so tongue-tied he can't get a reply out. Danny's face falls, and the sight has Tim moving before Tim's brain kicks in, and he's blurting something out before he can actually think. "I'm so in love with you right now."
"What?!"
Tim's eyes widen when he realizes what he said. "I....well...okay, I'm going to be honest with you. I've developed feelings for you. And I want to date you. And I think I love you."
The glow around Danny Brightens, and Tim is blessed with the most beautiful smile in the history of humanity. "Really? You like me?"
"I do."
Danny lets out a whoop, flinging himself onto Tim, "I love you too!"
"Thank you," Tim replies stun, making Danny draw back.
"Did you just thank me for saying I love you?"
"I'm going to be honest with you, I can't really think right now, I'm too happy, and I think this might be a dream," Tim says evenly, causing Danny to laugh, before-oh.
Cold lips are pressed against his, and well, that is nice. It's really nice. It's super nice when Danny tilts his head, deepening the kiss, and moving his lips in a way that urges Tim to do the same. He knows they should talk, knows that there is a lot that needs to be aired out, but his mind shuts off as he kisses back, wrapping his arms around the man that he can't live without anymore.
A couple of hours later, after more kisses, snuggles, and whispered confessions of love, Danny tells him his story. About the little boy that died in the lab of his parents' basement, and the life he's lived as a halfa ever since. Tim retells the story of the one unwanted Robin, who answered a call that was never made, and how he's always remained on the field, fighting a good fight.
Bruce will have his head for telling Danny about Red Robin, and normally, he would be the one reminding his siblings that romance shouldn't blind them into revealing too much, but he knows he can trust Danny.
Knows it like he knows his soul needed that Heart Attack coffee that started all of this to function. Danny tells him about the theory that he may become a coffee-crazed ghost after he dies, since a potential obsession flares whenever he drinks it, but Tim thinks it's more than just the coffee that has him like this.
He thinks it's more his urge to hoard the things he loves. Tim's always had an obsessive personality, almost hyper-fixated on his interests to the point of worry, and his ancestors did have something to do with dragons if the family legends are to be believed. Maybe Tim will be a dragon like a ghost when he dies.
Danny promised that when that day came, he would be there with him as Phantom because he wouldn't let death do them part. It was cheesy and stupid, and it made Tim cover Danny's face with kisses. In retaliation, Danny threw him on his back and climbed over him, pressing his cold lips against Tim's neck, causing a laugh to burst from the rich man.
He was so warm and happy with Danny that he nearly forgot about his family, until he spotted Damian peering through the window over Danny's shoulder. The boy was using his grappling hook to hang off the side of the building and was dressed in his full Robin gear. His brother has a sign pressed against the window, giving him a glare.
Don't play fight with your pregnant lover. What if you hurt him!?
Oh. Tim forgot that the family thought Danny was pregnant. Leaning down to whisper into his lover's ear- and wasn't that the best thing ever? As of tonight, Danny Fenton was his lover!- to whisper. "My family thinks you're pregnant with my child, and we're in a sugar daddy-sugar baby relationship. Want to play along?"
Danny's eyes sparkle. "Of course I do. I've been so bored this week anyway."
Tim laughs again, giving this brillant wonderful man another kiss.
They keep up the lie until four months later, when the lack of a baby bump lets the others know that, no, Danny is not pregnant. They suspected as much at the three-month mark, but Danny was able to hint that his species doesn't show signs until later for a whole month. The Waynes are still in the dark about what kind of being Danny is, though, since they heavily implied he's a form of changling.
Tim is having the time of his life, sipping his coffee and bringing Danny around the office just to watch the media storm around his "Sugar baby." The interns who overheard his conversation had graduated to full-blown employees, and one of them let it slip because everyone at Wayne treated Danny like royalty whenever he came by.
All in all, Tim can say with certainty that Bruce, ironically, had been right. Cutting his access to his normal Heart Attack coffee had been the best thing that could have ever happened to him.
A year later, Danny proposes using a ring he saved up money for- something far less than what Tim can afford- but it's the type of ringTim had always been obsessed with since he was a child, and it fits perfectly on his finger. The wedding ceremony is attended by humans, aliens, ghosts, and anyone else dear to the men's lives.
On the anniversary of the day they met, only half a year since their wedding and honeymoon, Danny asks for two things. The first is for Tim to help him open his own cafe, after Danny has experimented with different drinks on him throughout their entire relationship, and won more employee contests. Tim honestly thinks he could put Heart Attack out of business with how good his original recipes are.
The second is for Tim to look into adoption agencies. Not right away, he wants to at least be three years married before they start properly, but Danny wants a family. The white lie they told the Waynes had made him realize how much he adores the idea having more then two hot steaming cups ready for a night in. He even bought a family set with little cups for the possible three children he wants.
(Of course, their kids would be drinking hot chocolate until they were old enough for coffee.)
Tim couldn't think of anything more perfect than that.
Tim: I've fake a injury for a year to keep my secert identity.
Jason: You only did that because you have a thing for the physical therapist.
Tim: AND?! Danny is cute!
Dick: That's a concern. I'm calling the company and replacing him for Danny's own safety.
Tim: Do you not want my imaginary leg injury to heal!? We paid so much real money for it!
Damian: I would rather pay for someone to heal your mind, but I know not to throw money into an unrealistic endeavor.
Jason: Yeah, like buying wedding gifts for him. Tim is never getting someone to agree to tie the knot.
Damian: Says the man who can't get a second date.
Dick: Damian! Stop it! Bruce cannot afford all the therapy these two need. Dont make it worse.
Danny: ....So our session ends in 40 minutes, do you want to go for a walk or maybe a swim???
Tim: Hold on dear, I'm defending my honor.
Damian: Can't defend what you don't have.
Tim: Listen HERE-
Danny: I'm going to set up the pool. I think we need to cool off
Danny leaves the room and runs into Bruce: Oh, hello, Mr. Wayne.
Bruce: Please call me Bruce! It's always odd when my son's boyfriend is so formal.
Danny: About that... turns out I was wrong. Tim and I are not dating. That was my bad.
Bruce heartbroken: No. You guys were my favorite couple.
Danny nodded sadly: Me too. I guess we can't do those in-law fishing trips anymore.
Bruce: But who will help me put the worm on the hook!
Danny: Maybe Jason?
Bruce: Jason? He hates fishing. He always gets distracted by reading. Oh Danny, is there any way you could get back together with Tim?
Danny: I mean, I can try, but apparently incorrectly assuming we were dating is going to make it difficult. I thought his pretending to get hurt to see me was just a joke; I didn't realize he was being serious. Hell, he never actually did physical therapy; we just worked out together, each doing thier own set and routine. We even cuddled afterward. How would that have been a regular PT?
Bruce: I'm sorry, my son's an idiot. He didn't get that from me. He's adopted.
okay, everyone who presses the red button survives regardless, everyone who presses the blue button dies if the blue button count is below 50%, and everyone survives if the majority press the blue button
A third button has been added. everyone who presses the red button survives regardless, but if a majority press the red button, everyone else dies. If a majority of people press the blue button, everyone survives—except for anyone who presses the green button. Everyone who presses the green button gets a crisp 1 dollar bill
I don't want people who voted green to die, but I had to choose blue again, since we're not told what happens if majority votes green. The first one said that everyone survives if the majority votes blue, but the second poll doesn't say the same thing about green. I'm forced to assume that this question is being asked by a evil trickster deity that is maliciously hiding the information of what happens if the majority votes green.
Tucker, six cups of coffee in, drenched in sweat, and his arms covered in multiple beeping and flashing red screen PDAs: I will not be defeated! I'M UNSTOPPABLE.
Danny: Uh-huh. Care to tell me why your PDA is flashing that alarm?
Tucker: Oh I hacked the plane Bruce Wayne is on and turned it back to the direction of his next meeting. He's been trying to ignore my schedule and I. Will. Not. Let. Him.
Sam: Tucker, don't take this the wrong way, but I think you should quit your job as his personal assistant. It's way too stressful.
Tucker: No. I was hired by the Wayne Enterprise Board to get Bruce's life in order, and I will accomplish that.
Danny: Um....why do you care so much about this?
Tucker: If I fail, Wayne Enterprise will discontinue Personal Digital Assistants. I have had my PDA since I was fourteen, and I will NOT lose it. *PDA number 7 beeps loudly* Crude! They're trying to hack my hack. How DARE they.
Tucker holding PDA to his mouth practically foaming: Open voice message. Record. "ORACLE BACK THE FUCK UP. HE IS GOING TO THE MEETING. DO NOT TRY MY FIREWALLS I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL SUMMIT YOU IN PUDDING!". Send message!
Danny: Is it odd that I'm attracted to this?
Sam: Not at all. There is something alluring about his slow descent into maddness.
Danny: That's our husband.
Sam: yup
Danny: We married him. In front of people.
Sam: Sure did.
Tucker: Ha! I just blocked the Batplane. Brucie thinks he can have his boyfriend sneak him out of his responsibilities? Think again, Batman!
Imagine the Justice League having to step in just to get Tucker to back off. Like, this dude is skilled enough to keep Batman from going places, so they might need to actually tell him the secret.
Meanwhile Bruce is stressing because there's literally a world ending event about to occur that he needs to get to.
Flash comes to personally tell Tucker The Secret because he'll be fastest, but Tucker has mad beef with the Speedsters because one time they changed history while he was in the Ghost Zone, and he failed a test because of it.
If it had been anyone else, he would have let Bruce reschedule JUST THIS ONCE, but Flash got him mad and now he's stuck in the office with Tucker, who used anti-ghost tech to temporarily cut off his access to the speed force. Barry falls asleep almost immediately.
Tucker sends Danny to deal with the problem, with the promise that he'll take a weekend off for them to do something romantic later.
Danny recruits a few ghosts he's become friendly with and goes and takes care of the problem. Skulker was looking for a fight, and Johnny and Kitty were promised a romantic date. Danny told Ember that Tucker would have a short instrumental version of one of her songs from when she was alive installed as default ring tone on the next WayneTech phone that's coming out in 3 months.
Between the 5 of them, they competely neutralise the alien armada before they're even half way into the solar system. Danny pulls out a giant ribbon and gift wraps the mothership.
Bruce makes his meeting, he's only 3 minutes late.
Barry wakes up from the most restful nap he's had in years, eats until he's finally full, then refuses to hand back the anti-ghost tech to Tucker.
Barry actually starts badgering Tucker to give him a set for everyone with the speed force, because he cares about his family and wants them to have the ability to take a break from dealing with the drawbacks of the speed force too.
