[medusabraids]

i’m losing my fucking mind (x)

[kscotter]

I ACTUALLY SCREAMED

[pornstarch]

why do cats run through the house like they forgot to pull their dinner rolls out of the oven

[princesstigerbelle]

Simple zest for life

[sophiaslittleblog]

[neomachine]

[the-anal-destiny]

The artistry.

[jazzisback-deactivated20190120]

award winning

[nevaehtyler]

perfect response 

[lmao-ais]

STILL FUNNY

[kermitlesbian]

let them seethe boy

[meowie]

[goawfma]

whos mans

[tropiuz-deactivated20200618]

Omfg

[surprisebitch]

horny on main

[yeeyee-imbi]

Well I guess people already have Jesus

[yekkes]

Fuck men. Be gay

[yekkes]

This post is applicable to wlw and mlm. Solidarity

[turing-tested]

whats that one fetish called where you and your partner mutually respect and care about each other very much

[bester-jester]

love

[turing-tested]

kinky! i like it

[kirbydeluxe]

any political event: [happens]

some fucking shut-in nerd who feels compelled to compare everything to harry potter: 

[memehumor]

Swipe RIGHT

[thecybersmith]

Be honest though, the temptation to remove her other arm would always be there in the back of your mind. Symmetry has an undeniable appeal.

[thejediguy]

[iicarys]

straight man: *speaks*

me and the only other gay person in class:

[andhumanslovedstories]

sometimes I’m like “my therapist doesn’t really tell me anything I don’t already know” but then I remember that I used to eat scrambled eggs every single morning because I hated them but I hated them less than I hate all other breakfast food on weekdays (don’t @ me waffles are a weekend food and they Do Not start me on a productive path) and my therapist said, “why not eat a lunch food?”

and I said, “explain”

and she said, “you know you’re allowed to eat whatever food you want in the morning. you are not bound by law to the traditional american breakfast.”

my father’s insurance pays a hundred dollars an hour for a woman to give me permission to eat a pb&j at six in the morning 

[soothingmask1]

I was out with a bunch of people this weekend and this guy suddenly went “man I miss my wife” and went home. like…I want that

[foulserpent]

2018 lets bring back fanfic authors interruptng their own stories to have conversations with the characters

[foulserpent]

Ronald blushed under his clown makeup.

“Y-You like me?”

—————————————

me: squeeeeeeeee!!! here it comes! x3

ronald mcdonald: sh-shut up! >_<

burger king: o___0

—————————————

“Yes Ronald, it has always been you…” Burger King said.

[gayvian]

im going to personally kick your ass

[starsberrisnunicorns]

Why is he so dumb 😭😩😭

[fullhouseforever87]