Ptraciedactyl

I have a blog I write at, this is strictly for tumblr silliness.

[thelatestkate]

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[ptraciedactyl]

I've been struggling a little bit. I'm having trouble sharing about my life and I get that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I'm going to burden someone with my life. Or that I'm going to get a bunch of empty platitudes that only serve to make me feel more alone. I need to shout into the void.

I have cancer. Skin cancer, specifically. People don't talk about skin cancer the way they do other cancers, but it's not exactly the flu, you know? It still has the possibility to spread, and to kill, and I have to have surgery to get a big chunk taken out of my arm, and have at least one lymph node removed probably.

I'm beginning to feel afraid of the sun, and I'm really nervous of it becoming agoraphobia.

And I don't really have friends I talk to after my one friend dumped me for being too depressing the week before my mom died. Kinda messed me up in terms of opening up to people.

And I've been hanging around the house not really feeling up to working, but also feeling depressed and useless just sitting around. And the only people in my life I ever see are old ladies who will just be too gentle. Too hollow.

I will be fine. My PET scan showed no additional masses, which means if my cancer has spread it has not reached a size that shows up on the scan. Does NOT mean there's no spread. Just that it's small if there is. Hence needing to take my lymph node(s). Melanoma is highly treatable. I should be fine. But hearing you have stage 2 cancer... Still messes with your head.

And I'm in this house that makes me sick and makes me feel all the more isolated because the house isn't safe for me outside the bedroom. But my husband is scared to move and I don't think I'll be able to convince him until I have a job to move for, and I just can't go looking for a full time teaching job in the middle of the school year right before having surgery and having tons of appointments and stuff to deal with.

Mostly, life is hard and I'm depressed, and I know things will get better but they suck right now and I needed to vent.

[netherworldpost]

“Why should rich people pay more” because fuck ‘em

“So you are okay for paying more when you have money” I am not excluded from ‘fuck ‘em’ when relevant

[pedulum-chronometry]

“I am not excluded from ‘fuck ‘‘em’ when relevant” is surprisingly powerful as both a statement and philosophy

[ktlsyrtis]

you have the opportunity to go to dinner with one tumblr celebrity, who do you invite?

Neil Gaiman

Wil Wheaton

Lynda Carter

Chuck Tingle

Diane Duane

Other (in the tags)

Voting ended onApr 8, 2024

[wilwheaton]

Okay but what if we somehow all got together and played a tabletop game.

[neil-gaiman]

Instead of dinner or as well as dinner?

[wilwheaton]

When you put it that way, it does seem a little foolish to go to all the trouble to get together and not share a meal, as well.

[mundaneamerica]

Mundane America. Broken pole with rope and an American Flag. Cincinnati, Ohio.

[gaslampsglow]

Wait.  Wait.

Wait.

I know that telephone pole.

I know that telephone pole intimately because I’m the one who broke it.

Thats the pole next to Sycamore Jr. High, in between the jr high school and Pipkins, where I had my second car accident.  A woman t-boned my car and drove me into that pole in 2008 and it took them years to actually take it down.

That black metal pole you see just beyond the broken phone pole is a “Now Leaving/Welcome To Blue Ash, Ohio” sign, visible at 5520 Cooper Road on google maps.

(the flag is there, btw, because its the starting point for the Blue Ash/Montgomery July 4th parade.)

[nehirose]

The internet is so staggeringly immense that I can’t help but be disproportionately delighted when things like this happen.

[astronomical-bagel]

[bearie]

i know my ass is up too late because i’m losing my fucking mind over accidentally typing george of the gungle

[bearie]

y'all hear one funny word and you just smash that reblog huh

[thelovers-thedreamers-and-me]

i made it

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

20th Century Nostalgia (Masato Hara, 1997)

[hoppip]

you go kitty

[introvertdear]

THIS!

[corancoranthemagicalman]

Reblogging this too for folks with anxiety like myself who feel bad when they say they’re too busy but they don’t have every second accounted for doing something so they feel almost like they’re lying. Self-care goes on your schedule too, lovelies.

[wizardarchetypes]

I want to write a book called “your character dies in the woods” that details all the pitfalls and dangers of being out on the road & in the wild for people without outdoors/wilderness experience bc I cannot keep reading narratives brush over life threatening conditions like nothing is happening.

I just read a book by one of my favorite authors whose plots are essentially airtight, but the MC was walking on a country road on a cold winter night and she was knocked down and fell into a drainage ditch covered in ice, broke through and got covered in icy mud and water.

Then she had a “miserable” 3 more miles to walk to the inn.

Babes she would not MAKE it to that inn.

[pixelartpeach]

Are there any other particularly egregious examples?

[theglintoftherail]

This book already exists, sort of! Or at least, it’s a biology textbook but I bought it for writing purposes:

It starts with a chapter about freezing to death, and it is without a doubt the scariest thing I’ve read in years (and I read a lot of horror fiction).

[wandercuriosity-deactivated2024]

This book can be downloaded for free on Researchgate, posted there by the author himself:

The Biology of Human Survival: Life and Death in Extreme Environments

[neil-gaiman]

When you write a book like American Gods you make friends with your doctor and ask him lots of questions about surviving Wisconsin Winters, plunges into cold water and the like.

[milksockets]

truly the only way to get through to audio terrorists

[dps2004]

[falseknees]

The volume IS the message

[wilwheaton]

[seimsisk]

@vigilantsycamore tags are spot on

[crayonurchin]

First art of the new year is all about re-structuring your internal monologue.

In my early 20s I was working full time in London with many social commitments and a variety of hustles and side projects.

In my later mid 20s I cater to many sensory and social drain needs I have and indulge in special interests while respecting my lower energy reserves and celebrating my different way of processing the world.

Did I get more autistic? Nah. I got less fake.

[ur-daily-inspiration]

The moon dressed as Saturn.

[spooksier]

my friend took in a stray and she’s the cutest kitty ever but he named her oil so whenever he sends a picture of her me and my other friends look like we’re roleplaying as the US military

[spooksier]

[spooksier]

in our defense this is oil

[fantasmalresplendent]

I can't be the first to make this connection

[fantasmalresplendent]

y'all slept on the first chart but I will make the world see my vision