bleh...

Elle // 26 // they/she // poly pan enby

[pseudomantis]

[is-the-owl-video-cute-deactivat]

a squirrel or perhaps a cardinal posted this

[phaeton-flier]

How about you mind your own damn business

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

i wouldn't necessarily have a problem with seeing a doctor whose name was dr skull. but if his office was in a cave i'd be alert for signs of a lair

[theblackparadeisdead]

Gave a gamer girl a hickey call me the Mark Applier

[greatmagisterhexonic]

no

[theblackparadeisdead]

Call this guy the Mark Denier

[greatmagisterhexonic]

no

[theblackparadeisdead]

Call this guy the Mark Replier

[the-sweaty-toothed-mad-woman]

today’s the only day you can reblog this

“There Will Come Soft Rains”, Ray Bradbury

[toskarin]

why didn't they just leave pompeii when the volcano erupted? were they stupid?

[foone]

Fun fact: they did leave Pompeii! It's estimated that the population pre-eruption was something like 20,000, and the most likely number of dead in is in the range of 1,500-4,000. So most people just did leave Pompeii, it's just that not everyone left or could leave.

[fuckinnear]

[toskarin]

I'd have still left. the human body is capable of wonderful things in the face of danger

[crowteeth]

A lot of people died in the boats tho:/

[toskarin]

I would have paddled away quickly

[toskarin]

I take pretty hot baths so I think I'd be able to last a little longer than the average person

[demonicseries]

The scariest thing about pyroclastic flow is that if you can see it, no matter how far away it is, there is no possible way of surviving

[toskarin]

I've done incredible things. I think you'd be surprised.

[toskarin]

I know a lot about the volcano. they could learn much from me.

[slurpygunch]

you should teach them

[toskarin]

I will.

[toskarin]

everyone who has ever died from anything is an idiot. I wouldn't have done that.

[toskarin]

perhaps this could be chalked up to poor diet? I don't think explosions alone can do that.

[at-the-sign-of-the-fox-n-phoenix]

their brains became AEROSOLS IN THEIR SKULLS.

[toskarin]

what?? no

[at-the-sign-of-the-fox-n-phoenix]

correction, some of their brain cells turned to glass, unless you want to bitch about the Smithsonian's knowledge base. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/mount-vesuvius-turned-mans-brain-cells-glass-180976073/

[toskarin]

that just doesn't sound correct. they should verify this information

[pink-thing-enjoyer]

How about if instead of encouraging them we instead CHALLENGE them to survive a fictional catastrophe

Like there's no way this bozo is surviving the fires of ibis

[toskarin]

not only could I survive that, but I could do it a second time

[toskarin]

I mean they were pretty stupid for staying at a volcano during an eruption. the volcano is the most dangerous place to be, in that sort of scenario

[for-the-urizen]

What you seem to not understand is that when volcanoes erupt the way Mount Vesuvius did, your survival is dependant on whether or not you're close enough to a ship when it happens. It doesn't matter how smart you are, your IQ cannot outrun a catastrophic volcanic eruption. If you're going to criticize them for anything, it should be their decision to settle near an active volcano in the first place.

[toskarin]

as was previously established, my large IQ can outrun many things, so I do not imagine a volcano would be that much more difficult

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: 't t t a t ca t? t t? act: t a ! t' tat tat t at -t a tg ,, a t t a t ag ,-,. t t a , t' t tat t t c a. ' a t t. t a caa tg t ac ag A t t at t:/ a a aa c ta tt t at t ' a t at a tt g ta t aag T cat tg at catc tat ca t, att a aa t , t a g ' c tg. t ' . a t at t ca. t c a c . tac t . a atg a t. 't a tat. a t c ca t t? 't t a ca tat. t a ca A T . at?? cct, t a c t t ga, at t tc at t ta' g a. tt://.taag.c/at-/t--t-a-a-c-ga-/ tat t 't cct. t t at at ta cagg t ta CAG t t a cta catat t' a t g t t c tat, t c t a c t a t tt t tag at a ca g a t. t ca t t ag ac t , tat t ca at t t ta tat ca t t a t , a at t t ' c g t a t a. t 't att at a, cat t a catatc cac t. ' gg t ctc t atg, t t c t tt a a act ca t t ac. a a ta, ag ca t a tg, t ag a ca tat c ct

Closest match: Tinea pellionella genome assembly, chromosome: 4 Common name: Case-bearing clothes moth

(image source)

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

yeah okay, ill reblog that

[turtlefordestiel]

Question/gen if you jumped in the ocean and stayed under for a while could you possibly survive?

[toskarin]

you don't need need to do all that. you will find the solution is much simpler

[olyrik]

Please, share your wisdom, what is the simple solution!

[toskarin]

you just leave

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[handsmotif]

atheists call it project hail darwin

[competentwoman]

agnostics call it project hail maybe

[karvina]

[nonbinary-jakey]

every time a streamer says gooner it takes years off my life

[nonbinary-jakey]

it's like. people started to realize maybe they shouldn't say shit like degenerate or porn addict and decided they were gonna use a new word to mean the exact same thing but dressed up as a funny meme this time

[sreegs]

they took away my affectionate term for fellow something awful members, and broadly, nerds of the same feather. i cant say "good morning goons" anymore.

[swarnpert]

new jersey drivers are all from that one movie where if they drive less than 80mph their head explodes

[iamoutofideas]

speed

[swarnpert]

i cant my car gets scary when i go that fast

[iamoutofideas]

just do it cunt

[swarnpert]

[luetta]

something they never told me about adulthood: mimic keys will attach themselves to your keychain in the hopes you use them and they can have sex with your keyholes

[luetta]

bro thinks it isn’t fucking obvious

[luetta]

i left my keys outside for 5 fucking minutes are you kidding me

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

as humiliating as it is to repost myself from a light-mode-user's reddit screenshot, i cannot allow this year's zenquish to go uncelebrated.

celebrate my favorite holiday with me, my friends.

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

if the emperors of rome can add extra months that actually fuck the calendar up i'm allowed to add a new month that lasts 0.0000 picoseconds

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

the last holiday that hasn't been commercialized

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

i made this up when i was a little kid and nothing would make me happier than to see people celebrating it for years to come

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

zenquish approaches. prepare to rejoice! briefly!

[replicated]

i'm not really into blondes but this is an objectively absurd connection to make

[not100bees]

In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.

[kholdseid]

[scaryhagmother]

White people be like: I have to take my french bulldog to the chiropractor

[scaryhagmother]

[scaryhagmother]

White people be like: I have to take my elderly cat to acupuncture

[catasters]

[astriiformes]

The polar opposite of corporate accounts trying to come across as hip and super friendly are the ones for libraries, aquariums, parks systems and the like, that are basically just trying to get people excited about learning and the wonder of history/science by posting things like this:

[mangopatch]

[demonladytakkuri]

You know how much I would lose my mind if I was at an aquarium and turned a corner to see a wild ass heron staring at a fish tank

[alagaisia]

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

[alagaisia]

It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!

[alagaisia]

It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.

[watermelon-converse]

Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this

[emi--rose]

Hell yeah moon holiday

[hello-delicious-tea]

Ooh coming up we should celebrate

[ariaste]

PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)

[puddintrucks]

HAPPY MOON DAY MONDAY