Puns, motherfucker.

Fiber arts. Various reblogs. Terrible humor.

[anchovy]

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.

[anchovy]

I’m so fucked

[card-of-the-day]

Today's Card Is: Fidough

[triangleguy]

nightmares where theres a scary creature or something: damn that was scary Haha good thing im awake now .

nightmares about your dad: IM FUCKEDDDD THERES NO COMING BACK FROM THIS

[ink-the-artist]

[ink-the-artist]

the long awaited sequel

[ink-the-artist]

[holy-leapin-splits-batman]

[scribeherself]

the absolute devastating intimacy of a forehead rest. when you are both just so tired from existing in a world that demands you to be a rigid, functional individual, and you finally collapse into each other and just lean your forehead against theirs, or against their shoulder. it’s the physical equivalent of dropping your shields. it’s saying i am entirely heavy right now, and i am trusting you to bear a piece of that weight. and the most beautiful part is that the other person doesn’t even flinch. they just adjust their stance, tuck you a little closer, and absorb the impact. we were designed to divide the burden of being alive.

[starsandsupernovae]

"there's no platonic explanation for this" some of y'all need better friends

[starsandsupernovae]

"there's no platonic explanation for this" some of y'all need to be better friends

[horreurscopes]

never forget the universal rule of the order of things: People Will Not Read It

[horreurscopes]

signs at stores? émail? menu ?? instruction ? post online ? caption with andswer to question ? group hand outs ??? street sign ??? no. The Written Word Is The Enemy

[lasrina]

#The number of compliments i have gotten for reading a thing

The ability to occasionally Read A Thing will make you a hero in your workplace, especially if it is for example an error message that tells you what you need to do differently, or instructions on unjamming a printer.

[stephaniematurin]

how dare you say we put jam in the printer

[berkelbites]

Ok reblogging this again because story time.

I work in tech, and much of what I do is support sales reps within the company by resolving errors with the software they use.

There is one sales rep who, every single time I send her a message or email with extremely specific instructions that will resolve her issue, does something completely different from what I tell her. Every time. Without fail. It is so glaringly obvious that she has never read even a single word that I have written to her.

So one day, she sends me a message that says little more than "(software) is broken, help"

So I do my standard song and dance of asking her what she's trying to accomplish, and what specifically is stopping her from doing that. And eventually, after much unnecessary back and forth, she tells me there's an error message. I ask her to send me a screenshot of the error message. She does.

The error message basically says, "these two required fields are blank. To resolve this, please fill in these two specific fields, and then click save."

So I take a few deep breaths.

Then I lie to her.

I message her back, saying "hey yeah, for some reason it's not loading that screenshot on my end. Could you type out the full text of the error message for me?"

She does.

I ask her if she still needs help.

She does not respond.

[samueldays]

I have similar story from tech support.

Client is reporting that Some Thing Program doesn't work. I ask if there's an error message with further information about what's not working. Client says "no". I go over and ask Client to open Some Thing. Client double-clicks on the icon for Some Thing, it starts to boot, an error message dialog flashes up on screen, Client closes error message before I can read it, Thing closes after the error.

"What did that error message say?" I ask.

"What error message?" asks Client.

I tell Client to open the Some Thing again and then not click anything else. Client opens Some Thing, error message appears, Client clicks it away again.

I tell Client to stand up, step away, and give me physical control of the computer. I open Some Thing, start looking at the error message without closing it, and Client says "You should close that." I tell Client that I am reading the error message. Client is apparently accustomed to treating error messages as a kind of spam email that should be deleted as fast as possible, and gets agitated that I'm reading it.

I read the error message. It tells me what the problem is. I fix the problem. Some Thing works now.

---

Later, I start thinking about how such an error message might perhaps be engineered to be more attention-grabbing and close-resistant as a way of making people read it. It's not important for some random program here, but there are more important systems (medical, etc) where it would be reasonable to demand the user's attention because people's lives depend on paying attention to the error message.

But then people with a perverted intellect would still be thinking about ways to avoid reading the message, like dragging it off edge of screen or hiding it behind another window. So maybe the dialog box could have an always-in-front feature to override other windows, and the alert could use the computer's hardware "beep" functionality that can't be switched off by muting the regular sound system, and keep beeping... shit, I realize I'm reinventing pain, and get philosophical about it.

[doccyuk]

Story from The Past about My Mum:

She was a computer programmer / analyst, a... Long Time Ago. Called in for a system she'd installed before, the office folk said they kept having problems where it Didn't Work Right (no error, a malfunction)

She investigated, and told them that could only happen if they did 3 specific things in a specific order, which they should not ever do.

So, she asked, did they ever do that?

No! Of course not, was the answer.

So she made a couple of small changes, packed up and said that should be fine, but they should call her if there were problems.

The next week

She had a call saying "We're getting a strange error message on the system, can you help?"

She said, of course, can they tell her the error?

And the message was:

"You Said You Didn't Do This"

[keroa]

reblog if AAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[numahachi]

アアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアア

[phuiscribbles]

啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 啊  啊 啊 啊

[jukun]

[valbrandur]

[ddemotivators]

AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

[minervafloofderg-migrating]

[thegreenwolf]

[itsadragonaesthetic]

This is such an abstract type of comedy I don’t even know how to handle it

[blondie-in-the-zone-deactivated]

[psychotrope777]

fuck it really has like almost the exact cadence

[awritersbro]

if you see a Jabberwocky in an American National Park i cannot stress this enough you HAVE to report them to the nearest Park ranger. I know, I know, they fill human hearts with terror and whimsy in equal measure, but they are an aggressively invasive species in the Americas. Jackalopes are at risk of becoming extinct because during shedding season they have no natural defences against jaws that bite and claws that catch.

You don't have to worry about them killing it, they're actually endangered in England due to Victorian Era overhunting, so the British government's provided the National Park service with Vorpal Tranquilizer Darts so they can safely transport them to their native British Countryside where they can feast on borogroves and jubjub birds to their hearts' content.

[edgar-allan-possum]

Jabberwocks are starting to really intrude on the territory of the Snallygaster and crowd them out. Please report when you see them and help preserve our American monsters!

[tlaquetzqui]

Biologists prefer the term “fearsome critters”, just FYI. They resemble monsters but only due to convergent evolution.

[beemovieerotica]

[yaoigremlin]

Midnight Rain | ミッドナイトレイン

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

sengi

wiggling my sengi

[awed-frog]

For all my fellow oversharers out there.

[pup-dion]

As a chronic people-pleaser, this is my advice for success.

Offer as little as possible. Be terse. Get rid of all those exclamation marks and tidbits about why you want to take a sick day. State your needs clearly and concisely without reason. Start saying “No, I’m unable.” more often. Say Thank You only when the other party deserves it.

[depsidase]

[notahorseindisguise]

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

[mysticorset]

Peer reviewed tags from @somanyofthekids

[notahorseindisguise]

NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP

[hiveswap]

While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive

[midnight-revolucion]

alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife

[notahorseindisguise]

im going INSANE thats MY POST.

[marlinspirkhall]

It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.