we're broken people

traumagenic system of 9 // ice, ryan, cloud, storm, blue, t, november, pj, and lation

[nonhumanwithin]

Hi! I'm currently questioning a second theriotype. I've always wanted to be that animal and felt like I should be. Would that be a possible theriotype?

@purpleskiessystem In short, if you really feel like you are this animal then it probably is a theriotype!

I’d compare it to how you feel about your first kintype. If the way you feel about this second animal is similar to how you feel about your first kintype, then that is another strong indicator that it is a theriotype. The only thing I’d worry about is the possibility of this feeling fading away over time, which would be caused by rushing and getting too excited. I have done this many times, due to my mental disorders, I tend to feel things strongly in one moment and think for sure something is a kintype, only to later realize my mistake. This is totally fine of course, discovering you were never a certain kintype doesn’t hurt anyone! But if you’d like to avoid this, I would suggest waiting a while before calling yourself this theriotype. For me personally, I’ve had to wait a few months just to be sure. It is a bit of a wait but at this point I’d rather wait a while, maybe discuss my feelings with close friends, and not risk making another mistake. To each their own, though. And I wish you luck!

[ymirth]

when youre having a dissociative episode and look in the mirror and realize

[disabilityuserboxes]

this user has other specified dissociative disorder

[purpleskiessystem]

The host is deleting his main blog and making a new one.

Pm us if you want it!

[system-comforts]

Subsystems are completely valid! They are just as amazing as they are unique!

[crabuncle]

Body - Mother Mother

[trauma-tape]

me: feels kinda bad

me: triggers self and turns kinda bad into very fucking bad so i can at least properly suffer™

[g1itching-0ut]

[billcourse]

dear systems!

no matter how much u switch ur completely valid. 

some people switch more when they’re stressed. some people become frontlocked when they’re stressed and don’t switch very often.

some people switch a lot when they’re unsafe. some people switch very little when they’re unsafe.

the length of time is really variable, too! some can’t go a day without switching, some go months. i’ve been fronting for a month straight at time of writing.

just bc you don’t switch as often as other systems, or you switch more than other systems, doesn’t mean you’re not valid!

[boredsystem]

when an alter comes out, takes a nap, and then leaves. like. okay? glad you had a nice nap i guess.

[awbrainno]

PLEASE share this far and wide, ESPECIALLY if you’re in California! A good friend of mine has seemingly disappeared without a trace and we’re all scared to death and desperate to find her. She has a broken ankle and, last we heard, had her knee scooter with her.

Please, please help. Erin is such a kind, generous, caring person, I’m so fucking scared for her.

[purpleskiessystem]

When the little wants to front

Me: *trying to focus on something*

Little: WHATCHA DOING

Me: *has a heart attack*

[cosmos-constellation]

Dissociation Recognition

I keep hearing lots of systems who know they have DID/OSDD periodically doubting their sanity/correctness/validity because they are worried their trauma “wasn’t enough” (FYI there is no “not enough”) and they “don’t really feel like/think that [they] dissociate that much/at all”, or supposedly non DID/OSDD systems who don’t remember any trauma and therefore assume they must be non-traumagenic because, “Well even if I didn’t remember trauma if I REALLY was traumagenic, I’d dissociate a lot.” (There is also the, “I don’t think I have real/bad triggers though?”/“I don’t have triggers though- I’ve CHECKED,” issue, but I will save that for another post.)

Here is the thing about dissociation: It is so fucking weird and difficult to describe that literally people who spend most of their time dissociated to at least some extent cannot even describe it easily, and it is something they feel every day. When you ask these people who don’t think they dissociate what they define dissociation as, they don’t even honestly know. Just “something more dramatic that I would obviously recognize if I felt it.” But the truth is, you DON’T always recognize it. Not at first. I mean hell, most of the time none of us even realize what we are feeling has a NAME, is even a THING, is not just some random weird malfunction totally unique to our brain that is just us individuall,y of all humans, being broken. We don’t feel it and go, “oh hey let me google this experience and see what it’s called,” and find out it’s called dissociation. We encounter someone else talking about what dissociation, by name, feels like, defining it, and go, “OMG Holy fucking hell this has a NAME?!?! THIS HAS A NAME!!! Other people feel this! Holy crap! Omg! Holy crap! Ahhhhhhh!” (Pretty much verbatim, usually, if you’re curious.)

You don’t have to lose time to dissociate, you don’t have to become catatonic. You don’t have to experience practically accidental astral projection level of disconnect from your body. You don’t have to be rendered totally non-functional. While all of those things obviously happen to some people often and to others rarely, they may never happen to you. That doesn’t mean you don’t dissociate. Dissociation can be that moment of staring at your hands and going “you know- this is really WEIRD but like for some reason my brain isn’t registering that these look like my hands? Even though they obviously are? And even though I can’t see anything different about them than usual???” It’s reaching out for something and then having this weird little mental lurch when somehow it doesn’t feel like it is where it should be, like somehow you reached wrongly even though it is exactly where you left it, and not getting why. It’s colors suddenly appearing brighter or dimmer for no apparent reason, when there has been no change in lighting. It’s objects appearing suddenly closer or farther away, subjectively, even though physically you are aware that in actual measurable distance they have not moved location and neither have you. It’s things appearing larger or smaller even when you can see, literally see, that they have not. It’s knowing none of that bloody makes sense and that it is happening anyway. It’s feeling mentally “foggy” in a way that is deeper than sleepiness or distraction. It’s feeling distant from the front of your face, like your mind is somehow pulled away from your eyes looking out from inside of yourself, even when your vision is exactly the same as it always it.

So much of dissociation is paradox. And paradoxes are, by their nature difficult to describe. Definitions in vague and abstract terms, drawn from text book excerpts penned by people who have never experienced it will not truly convey to you what the wide array of dissociative experiences includes. If you have any reason to evaluate whether you do or do not experience dissociation, go out of your way to hear about it from people who have already spent months or years figuring out how to articulate the nigh inarticulable. Some of what they say may be things you would never even have guessed the abstract definition was referring to. And you may find that some of it sounds shockingly familiar.

[frostbite-the-white-knight-deac]

WE’RE SO CLOSE TO GETTING THIS PETITION SIGNED TO IT’S DESTINED NUMBER

SIGN NOW TO SAVE NET NEUTRALITY

https://www.change.org/p/save-net-neutrality-netneutrality?recruiter=837125549&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink&utm_campaign=share_petition

[friendshiplevel]

It’s tiring seeing callout after callout saying “this person is faking did because they have a fictive from something that came out recently and the cutoff for a system is 9 (12 for osdd1b)”

Yes, the cut off is there, but that’s for forming a system. That means you have to have had your first headmate before then. That does NOT mean you can’t get new headmates, which people get due to abuse or trauma. And seeing as systems start from abusive or traumatic situations, if the person still lives with the person who caused the situation, they are likely to still be in a bad situation and get headmates, which can include fictives.

If you don’t do proper research, especially if you don’t have did or osdd, stop inserting yourself into system discourse.

[systemdiscourseiguess]

this is one of my hugest pet peeves ever. it causes so many real systems to feel like they are invalid, even ones without introjects because people are essentially saying “you can only form new alters at 9/12.” which is totally a misunderstanding of how DID works, like you said. 

If you already formed DID in early childhood you can form a new alter at 10 or a new alter at 50.

[alienlation-blog]

!!!

[purpleskiessystem]

Lation made a blog! Please follow him!

[systemdiscourseiguess]

Have you ever had a moment where you're so paranoid about what happened that you cant remember that you overthink and accidentally create false memories, because that happens to me a lot.

Honestly I’m not sure. Something close to that has happened where I have a very visceral reaction to hearing about a certain kind of trauma that i start to think it must have happened to me but it doesn’t always turn out to be true. It can be very hard to recall memories, esp if they were a long time ago, traumatic or otherwise. It can be esp hard for trauma memories. my therapist told me once that i might not ever know all that happened to me or know for sure what is true and what details are things my mind changed over time and that it’s not entirely important and that’s been a hard thing for me to internalize. you’re not alone though and i know it’s a very hard thing to deal with and it must be confusing.