Qpinskey

[spacedlexi]

"its how i used to talk to my mom and dad. and now theyre gone...its gone"

[ultrafacts]

[valtsv]

too mentally ill for desk work too incapable of acting human for retail and 200 years too late to be a 19th century grave digger 😔

[phlebasthebroenician]

BOY

the

BOY

is

BACK! IN! TOWN!

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

🐢🐢🐢

[sastheforestspirit]

[watcherscrown]

[beggars-opera]

Rocky Horror is turning 50 next month and people still act like being gay was invented by Ellen in 1997

[beggars-opera]

But honestly! Renowned French poet Théophile de Viau wrote the poetic ode to King James titled “The Duke of Buckingham,” containing the immortal lines “One man fucks Monsieur le Grand de Bellegarde/Another fucks the Comte de Tonnerre/And it is well known that the King of England/Fucks the Duke of Buckingham” exactly 400 years ago and people still act like being gay was invented by Oscar Wilde in 1890

[hugh-lauries-bald-spot]

Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep were buried together in the 25th century BC and people still act like being gay was invented by renowned French poet Théophile de Viau 400 years ago

[insufficientdata]

Gilgamesh and Enkidu “loved each other like man and wife” in 2700 BC and ppl STILL act like being gay was invented by Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep in the 25th century BC

[lychgate]

unga bunga had rough anal sex with oog 65,000 years ago

[viktor-sbor]

A 10-millionth visitor to the  Rijksmuseum of Netherlands was allowed to spend the night at Rembrandt's painting "Night Watch" with a bottle of wine and dinner.

[tideoftrash]

me in my animal crossing house after that fox has sold me another fake painting

[adventuresinchemistry]

Least favorite lab equipment?

idk it really depends on the day

but my favorite lab equipment will always be our hand crank centrifuge

[jewishdragon]

im sorry the what

[adventuresinchemistry]

this bad boy, for when you’re too lazy to walk up two flights of stairs to the shared lab space with the preparatory centrifuge but not too lazy to put some elbow grease into spinning your shit down

[metricparty-deactivated20221104]

Method: Samples were centrifuged at whatever rotations per minute (RPM) Joey “the beast” McRipped could achieve on his saucy days. We’re not sure how fast, but it was impressive. Supernatant decanted off and….

[adventuresinchemistry]

Lol just realized this post hit 100k notes. My legacy on the internet is a picture of a centrifuge that was disassembled not long after I look this pic.

[wondersmith-and-sons]

if you can’t handle richard siken at his “i also want to get bruce wayne pregnant” you don’t deserve him at his “everyone longs for a father figure. even those with fathers. even fathers. that’s why we invented god.”

[jackaxed]

excuse me op but when did he say that first thing

[wondersmith-and-sons]

what, you think i'd just lie about this?

[afreauxheaux]

MISS CONGENIALITY (2000) dir. Donald Petrie

@lgbtqcreators creator bingo | comfort

[mariconcarne]

Some people do, this scene is cut out of airline versions even in 2023

[sergeantsarcasm]

They cut this scene on TV all the time, even now, 23 years later.

[catchymemes]

[atlinmerrick]

(Will never not reblog this beauty. What genius.)

[dduane]

Same. :)

[catgirltoofies]

stop using google chrome. switch to mozilla firefox.

[twinkenjoyer-deactivated2023083]

also put on these fox ears and this tail plug and start mewling

[catgirltoofies]

you don't have to do that

[mozilla-firefucks]

you do actually

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

unfortunately I’m watching supernatural and someone on screen said ‘there are No Wolves in pennsylvania’ and I was like. what a bold incorrect statement. where did they possibly get that idea from. so I googled it…google is insisting there are no wild wolves in pa?? except I’ve Seen wolves here?? there used to be a wolf that would hang out in my backyard and roam around the neighborhood?? like Everyone knew about this wolf we assumed he lived on the golf course and would come to our yards if he got spooked by golfers (very quiet block). like we all thought he just lost his pack or whatever so people just gave him a wide space and let him chill, he didn’t try to break into any houses or attack any pets but this was definitely. a wild wolf. where. where did he come from what do you MEAN there aren’t wolves in pennsylvania I’m literally spiraling right now

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

still feeling so gut-punched over this

[the-ginger-is-loose-again]

To be fair, PA also said “we did not reintroduce mountain lions, they are not there, you’re seeing really big house cats, please keep coming to the parks and camp sites and ignore that video, that was totally not a mountain lion, someone took last week”

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

okay I’m sorry but this came up on pinterest and I Screamed

you are the state of Pennsylvania (allegedly)

[jovialgnomejpeg]

i just showed this to a friend from pennsylvania and 1. theyre losing their mind bc theyve seen mountain lions which prompted them to look it up which leads me to 2. this fucking bonkers article

[caption: “We’ve been here 45 years and I’ve probably been told by people at least 100 t imes that they’ve seen a cougar or mountain lion,” said owner Vince Hall. “I kind of doubt they saw a cougar, but I’m not God.”]

[inkloom]

PA: I can’t believe we’ve lost all our native apex predators Citizens of PA: there’s a mountain lion right there PA: sometimes we can still hear the sound of them scaring away tourists

[novas-grimoire]

…PA has fucking EMUS and you want me to believe we have no wolves or mountain lions?

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

what the fuck do you mean we have emus

[lynati]

http://emusontheridge.com/ https://www.abc27.com/news/us-world/strange/update-runaway-perry-county-emu-found-after-seven-months-on-the-run/

[hungry-skeleton]

Guys, I’ve cracked it

This thing goes all the way to the top

[catblog-weatherwax]

‘Mystery animal’ escapes from Pennsylvania wildlife rescue

Rescuers still don't know what the animal is... and now it's on the loose.

[genedoucette]

what the fuck is happening in pennsylvania

[thatdorianguy]

As a regretful born and raised Pennsylvanian, we have wolves, coywolves, mountain lions, lynx, and coyotes. Not a single person in authority will admit to there being anything but coyotes and lynx. If you see a cougar, they will tell you you saw a lynx. If you see a wolf, they will tell you you saw a coyote. Ignore the massive differences in sizes. No one knows what a coywolf is but we have them. I have seen a cougar with my own two goddamned eyes. There is an entire nature park whose main attractions are the cougars and wolves (and bison but we’re not talking about them) - it’s called Penn’s Cave, it’s been there forever. Everyone I know has seen a cougar or wolf at least once in the woods.

So what I’m getting at is don’t trust the government.

[krakenartificer]

[supreme-leader-stoat]

“the state of Pennsylvania is gaslighting its citizens about the native wildlife”

[brightlotusmoon]

My spouse was born in PA (Bethlehem, Mt Sinai) and he is enjoying this entire thread, which we might show his cousins who live in Philly and have seen the These Aren’t Cougars.

[secondlina]

New Crow Time 🐦‍⬛❤️‍🔥✨️

[fella-lovin-fella]

"there are only two sexes, it's literally third grade biology!" and pronouns are taught in kindergarten and you dont seem to understand those either

[alexiaroselikethewine]

ok its literally this

[hoarderofliterature]

this is why, when someone tells me "there are only two sexes, it's basic biology!" my favorite response is to ask "what, you never made it to advanced biology?" like don't load the gun and then hand it to me lmao

[alexiaroselikethewine]

you. yes. you get it

[witchy-disaster]

I’m a biologist and love to argue with people about this! They hate it when I point out that plants have sexes and gender is a social construct

[iamalivenow]

[white-throated-packrat]

He’s so confident and so wrong.

[odinsblog]

[payasita]

being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

[payasita]

[a ticket reads that a customer wants their burger cut in half]

-"What the hell why are they so picky??? That's like for kids. That's like something my DAD would-- wait i don't have a dad-- that's like something my MOM would do"

-"BRO WHY ARE YOU CUSSING ME OUT IN SPANISH???" for some reason shouted so loudly that customers still in line all start laughing

-i open the restaurant and notice the kitchen is still kind of dirty and try to glean who closed last night, and i overhear two of the boys talking about yesterdaay

me: "so, you helped in the kitchen last night?"

IMMEDIATELY: "IT WASNT ME I JUST DID THE FRYERS LAST NIGHT"

me: "I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING YET"

[payasita]

i accidentally tripped over a gas line while trying to clean behind the stove and made a loud fear noise and the kid helping me clean the kitchen goes "dude your screams scare me. They remind me of when i accidentally step on my dog's tail"

[payasita]

the Real Adult in charge went to go give someone a break in another store and I'm chilling in ours for a bit and 5 mins one of the girls rushes up to me like "DID YOU KNOW WE HAVE AN ATTIC?"

I did. I have never seen the attic so I go check it out and there's already like three of them up there

me: the fuck are you guys doing???

clerk: they wanna do the grimace challenge up there

[payasita]

one of them has never heard of vampires

[payasita]

update about this one because another coworker wouldnt let it go: he insists he's Heard of them but thought they were, quote, "like, really big bats"

[payasita]

Clerk 1: dude don't mix that isn't it like toxic? What are the chemicals you're not supposed to mix--

me: WHAT'S IN THE SINK.

Clerk 2: We're trying to clean the sink

me: Which cleaners did you MIX

Clerk 3: All of it

me: DRAIN IT.

[one brief emergency explanation about never mixing cleaners and what mustard gas is]

Clerk 1: oh yeah didn't they use that during like world war two

Me: yeah man it's like, a war crime now. It's just such a horrible way to die that we can't use it anymore

Clerk 2: wait fr???

Clerk 3: ohh. What about opium?

Me: ...what?

Clerk 3: like the opium war.

Me:

[one brief emergency explanation about what the opium war was later]

[payasita]

Explained to the two boys helping me in the kitchen why we submerge our lettuce at night to help it keep. They proceed to have a conversation where one is absolutely messing with the other by trying to convince him that both lettuce and reptiles are living things that need to be soaked to survive, and are therefore related. he speaks with so much conviction and just keeps doubling down and the other one just gets increasingly angrier and I'm just trying not to crack up over the fryers

and then the exasperated kid whirls around at me and goes "IS LETTUCE REPTILES???" and I lose my fucking mind

[payasita]

I run this place with one other person who i Do Not Like and the kids are well aware of our stupid restaurant manager beef and love to gossip

They keep moving shit to inconvenient locations and I hate it and keep having to move shit back, then once on my day off they decided to call in help and move my Entire Fucking Kitchen around and I was real fucking pressed about it for like the rest of the week (put off opening the next morning to move all the big ass machines and fryers back my damned self to establish territory or whatever)

A week later one of the really sweet girls who helps me in the kitchen goes "hey I have a confession. me and (other kid) were there while they were moving your kitchen and we knew you'd hate it. I was going to say something"

"Oh no worries, it's not really your responsibility to go between us like that"

"no no, I was going to tell her to at least ask you about it first but then I was like 'hmmm....let's see how this plays out'. for the drama."

"...ok I guess I should probably be mad but that's actually really fucking funny"

[payasita]

today i turned around and saw this

[filmnoirsbian]

It's fun reading writers who clearly grew up in suburban/urban environments as someone who grew up on a farm because they're always like "oh it was so creepy, woods at night, eerily breathtaking, something was living in there..." and it's like yeah that'll be the deer.

[blackvelvetofnight]

EXACTLY

[silly-jellyghoty]

Same can be said about city streets. Random "gunshot" and "explosion" noises? That's the road construction crew behind the corner. Mysterious howling and barking out of nowhere echoing through the street? That's someone's dumb dog that locked itself out on the balcony on the 3rd floor above you and buildings just happen to have the shape where certain areas just vibrate with echoes from all sides at once. Screeching of car tires and agressive shouting? Fucking teens are at it again.

But the city is the creepiest when it's silent because if there are no cars and no chitchat and no humm of an A/C unit, then where is everybody?

[headspace-hotel]

Meanwhile in a rural area if you hear a gunshot that's actually a gunshot

It's nothing to worry about though, unless you hear a long, screaming NYOOM accompanying it. The Looney Tunes sound effect for flying bullets is legitimately almost what bullets flying past your head actually sounds like.

[brain-deadx0]