live just keeps happening @queerpolyajourney - Tumblr Blog

"short" introduction

About a year ago I decided to start journaling about my experiences as a queer polya person over at cohost. I've been on tumblr for over a decade now and seldom share private information on my other blogs. But writing what I did on cohost made me realize that I need an outlet and maybe find a community where I can be as anonymous as possible. Since cohost is stopping their services I decided to start a fresh blog on here.

I will write about day to day experiences and big life events. About struggles and things we learn along the way. Might occasionally gush about partners and get all mushy as well.

This is not ment as an educational blog but rather an example as how a queer polya journey can look like. People living similar lifestyles and using the same labels as I/we do experience life in many different ways and might (not) agree with what I/we do or don't do.

#introduction #queer #polya #lgbtqia+#Green speaks

polyamorousmood

do you know of any polyam love songs?

BOY, DO I!

The list is not as long as I'd like but I literally keep a spreadsheet of polyam songs 🎵

Top picks for love songs are probably, in order, Can't Help but Fly, You and Your Friend, and In the Middle.

I'm always looking for more so if anyone who knows any others PLEASE add them, I'm literally begging 😭

Plaintext song list (sans ratings, so don't judge) below the cut

In The Middle by Dodie

polyamorousmood

@zibus you weren't kidding with Dana and the Wolf holy cow!! 👼🐮 Its like a whole poly album, isn't it? I've only listened to three so far but the random ones I picked were all poly 💙❤️🖤 Highly recommend, excuse me while I listen to the whole album 🔊

polyamorousmood

Alright, here's the link 🔗 to the list! 💖

now updated with more from the notes since you all loved it so much

#polyamory playlist #polya love songs

A lot happened since I wanted to update the polya constelation. So here goes....

I'm GREEN (no gendered pronouns). 28y/o. trans* masc genderqueer asexual and panromantic.

nesting partner of 10+years is PURPLE (all/any pronouns). almost 29y/o. trans* fem bisexual. at the moment PURPLE is casually sexting with online friends and sometimes flirting with irl ppl from the TIN* metup because those are the only social contacts.

distant queerplatonic partner of almost 3years is PINK (he/they). almost 24y/o. trans* man queer. PINK recently started dating a person (that is mono, open for a non-monogamous partner) more seriously and keeps casually sexting and hooking up with changing people.

BLUE is still a honorary part of the polycule.

the polya constelation grew very fast and then shrunk again almost as fast over the last year. I might post something about that someday.

Here you can find the very first introduction post.

#introducing the polya constellation #polya #queer #lgbtqia+#qpr #queerplatonic #green speaks #green in tags #I forgot to write about the cat! She is still alive an will be 16y/o in summer. Very sleepy and talkative.#qpp has diagnosed adhs #nesting partner might be autistic and healing from burnout right now #I still work too much #Pink will soon be graduating from university #I live them both very much in their respective ways

stonegoddex

what if we admitted to each other that it's not always really romance that we want. What if we admitted that what we're really craving is intimacy and society taught us romance is the only way to get it.

derinthescarletpescatarian

#rb #green in tags #exactly this #Purple and me have a “romantic” relationship - naturally we've been on two official dates in the past 10 years #Pink an me are in a queerplatonic relationship - naturally we go on dates and do “cute” couple stuff #The intimacy we feel and the way we act in relationships vs. what people outside of it see #amatonormativity is a challenge to unlearn - since it is portrayed everywhere

plague-and-creatures

I get so used to the nuances of the aspec tumblr community that I forget people like this are the median person outside tumblr

This person says they're also aro/ace btw, and somehow they took me pointing out that "hey, saying platonic relationships can't possibly include sex is allonormative" and turned it into me conflating romance and sex???

I tried to break it down for them as simply as possible that conflating platonic with non sexual is just as allonormative as conflating romantic with sexual, that both are equally not inherently sexual and also capable of including sex, and that the best way to describe a non sexual relationship is to just call it non sexual

I highly doubt they actually want to listen, but jesus christ it legitimately pissed me off that they thought I, the person trying to help them understand that language isn't prescriptive and the people involved in a relationship are the only ones allowed to decide if their actions are platonic romantic or sexual, was the one somehow saying sex and romance are the same thing?

Babygirl idk what to tell you but you are projecting that allonormativity so hard you nerfed your own reading comprehension

#rb

plague-and-creatures

Okay aro and ace community, I got a question that's been on my mind lately, so I gotta know if I'm out of the loop or not

What do y'all mean when you say something is platonic?

Do you use it as another way of saying "friendship", or do you use it to say "non-sexual relationship"

How do you use "Platonic"

Synonym for friendship

Non-sexual relationship

Voting ended onMar 5

I always thought of it as a synonym for friendship, at least that's what I gathered from how I'd see it used, so I believe it's possible for a relationship to be platonic and have sexual elements like friends with benefits

However the literal dictionary definition says platonic means non-sexual

I kinda just wanna know if I was reading the room right or if I've been using the term wrong this whole time

plum-petunia

We simply know more than the dictionary.

(Ok this sounds like a joke but also dictionary definitions do reflect the "average" person's thoughts on what a term means and the average person is not remotely familiar with frankly anything queer let alone any aspec theory so genuinely we do know more than the dictionaries.)

queerpolyajourney

Is there a difference between platonic attraction/love and labeling a relationship as platonic? Are relationship "types" hierarchical? Does romantic mean sexual? Is friendship the opposite of sexual? Is it possible for ace people to have relationships that involve sex? Is it possible for aro people to have relationship that involve romance?

In the context of queerplatonic relationships - where the meaning of the relationship is defined by the people involved and doesn't not follow societal rules - defining platonic as friendship or non-sexual is allonormative.

How do I use platonic? For me, a person who takes friends out on dates and very very seldom goes on dates with partners (sexual/non-sexual and/or platonic/alterous/romantic), there is no one definition for platonic but a multitude of opportunities. Relationship/partnership/friendship is defined by commitment. I usually don't commit to working towards life goals with acquaintances or family. I write love notes for my queerplatonic partner and have never bought flowers for my romantic partner. The relationship habitus is defined by the people involved. Not by societal stereotypes for the words that are used.

I won't take part in the poll because for me it's neither and both and so much more at the same time.

#rb #queer platonic #aro #ace #aspec #green speaks #socially critical thinking #my opinion #allonormativity

Pink and me decided on a date for our anniversary.

Yesterday Pink called me at random, as they does. We were talking about this and that and we somehow ended up talking about Purples and my upcoming 10 year anniversary.

My sister and our father had asked me a few days/weeks ago if we've planned anything and she stated "Pink and Green are together 2.5 years now." and I answered "2.5? Na! Surely only 1.5." and then she proved me wrong and I research myself.

Pink reacted more shocked about that than I did. We tried to find the exact date. But even with our constant texting and different groupchats we couldn't pinpoint a day.

So we settled for a week an just picked one of the days.

Later that day I was still thinking about it and did some digging in chats with other people. I came to the conclusion that the date we had picked was a few days to early and I told Pink about that today.

In retrospect I'm not sure why it was important for us to find out the date. Since neither them nor me like to put any significance towards such things.

Purple and me have never celebrated and we won't start after 10 years.

I don't care about anniversaries, valentines, birthdays or any religious holidays. I care about certain achievements or just celebrating on random days for joy.

Pink told me that holidays are only special for them if there can be spent time together. And that those days wher cute for dates. Maybe we could go on a platonic date sometimes. I think that would would be nice.

#qpr #queerplatonic #green speaks #polya #lgbtqia+#queer #anniversaries #green and purple and pink #green in tags #There have been a lot of changes over the past year regarding the polycule #we've grown to 8+ people and then came back to the three of us again #I'm really happy about being with Pink and Purple respectively and that each relationship has it's own dynamic #I'm sad for Purple because gaining and losing two relationships in such a short time is hard #And I'm happy for Pink that they chose their boundaries over a toxic relationship and is still enjoying casual hookups

fish-without-legs

people always get so caught-up on needing a definition for queerplatonic attraction or relationships, when it's pretty much the relationship equivalent of nonbinary. and "what is an exact definition of nonbinary?" is a difficult question to answer! it's quite literally just "any gender that is not strictly binary", and in that exact same way I cannot give you an all-encompassing definition of queerplatonic beyond "it's not strictly in the romantic/platonic binary" it could be inbetween, it could be neither, it could be both, it could be outside of that all.

#rb #queerplatonic #qpr

foxgirltail

If you're in LGBT friendly spaces and someone introduces themselves and cautiously says they're fine with any pronouns, it is your duty to notice which pronouns the people around you tend to default to for them and ensure that you refer to them with any and every pronoun under the sun except for that one. You must.

#rb #any pronouns #green in tags #whenever someone introduces themselves with any pronouns I make sure to check if neopronouns are okay or if they use they/she/he #most of the time the person prefers some rare neopronoun or really means any pronoun but that #and I also always ask if it's okay for me to use different pronouns in one sentence #the responses I get are sooooo sweet and empowered #I also always make sure if it's okay if I don't use pronouns or use it/it's and more often than not the person gets super giddy about that

Apparently things change more quickly in the polycule than I can write about them.

There's way too many people to keep up with. I had a whole new introduction ready and multiple posts about the new relationships. I also wrote down some of my thoughts around NRE....but I think I can scrap most of it.

Here's the short version.

#green speaks #Polyamory #Polycule update

a-book-of-creatures

Here’s something else I’ve been curious about.

This quiz is about novels only. Or, if you will, works of fiction that tell a story and that you are typically expected to start, read till you reach the end, and then finish once you do so.

Reference books (e.g.) are not typically meant to be read cover to cover. This poll is not about them.

Do you re-read novels you’ve already read?

No, once I’ve read a book I’m done with it

No, but only because I already know what's going to happen :(

Yes, but only if I really liked it last time

Yes, but only if I didn’t like/understand it last time, want to try again

Yes, but only if enough time has passed / I’ve forgotten it

Yes, and I reread for no real reason tbh

Yes, and I do so religiously with certain books

Yes, more than one reason / some other reason (explain?)

Voting ended onSep 2, 2025

By “read” I mean “reading from cover to cover like it was your first time reading it”. Flipping through a book you like is Good and Cool but not within the scope of this poll.

#Yes other reason #For me it's about the feelings the story makes me have and also the comfort of visiting old friends and familiar places #Some books I used to be embarrassed about rereading because once I transitioned into adulthood I thouth I couldn't read them anymore #Comfort foods/movies/books I can and will repeat

I'm trying to write about all the changes that have happened but I can't keep up with the speed in which they are happening. Life is crazy and I'm really glad that I'm not in the middle of it all but can observe from the side.

#green speaks #green in tags #The polycule is getting bigger and more complex by the minute /exaggeration #I'm currently on my way to visite with an old friend and exlover and tomorrow I'll stay with Pink for a few days #Spoiler: Purple is going to have the new girlfriend(s?) over #I also need to think about new color names

queerplatonic-culture-is

Queerplatonic culture is wanting to kiss their whole face except their mouth

queerplatonic culture is!

#rb #queerplatonic culture is #green in tags #yes #exactly this

polyamorousmood

polyam worm on a string!!

Holy fucking shit dudes. I love her. (Picrew)

polyamorousmood

wait hold up

Should she replace the icon for this blog?

yes!! Dare to look different from every other poly blog!

No, she'll be too little it won't read well

No I will forger what this blog is if the profile Pic changes

Consider... cover image

Voting ended onDec 30, 2024

polyamorousmood

We're running this poll again, fuck you. Should she replace the icon for this blog?

yes!! Dare to look different from every other poly blog!

No, she'll be too little it won't read well

No I will forger what this blog is if the profile Pic changes

Consider... cover image

Voting ended onJun 21, 2025

#rb #polya pride #worm on a string #Yesssssss do it!

thinkingabout-girls

for an embarrassingly long amount of time i didn’t realize that couples showering together meant they were fucking in there i thought they just got lonely or something and wanted to hang out. in the shower

#Purple and me shower together all the time. We have a bathtub now but even when we only had a shower we did it.#I think it's good quality time. Washing eachothers backs and sharing shower thoughts.#Although we've fallen into a pattern it's still difficult sometimes. We prefer different temperatures and my hair routine takes more time.#Since I've shaved off my hair again Purple would actually take longer if he washes his hair while showering.#rb #Relationship thinks #Purple and green #Green in tags

makingqueerhistory

I humbly recommend to your fans a little book in which I am finding great comfort: The Faggots and Their Friends Between Revolutions. Written by Larry Mitchell in the post-Stonewall pre-AIDS era of the 70s, I am finding it still resonant now. Archive.org has the PDF and an audiozine version recorded by Resonance with a new introduction and interstitial music. Obviously read the PDF, but I also encourage people to print it off and make their own physical copies.

Thank you so much! I haven't read this one yet, so I am excited to add it to my list!

queerpolyajourney

Pink and me got to see a musical theatre adaption by Ted Huffman and Philip Enables back in 2023. The audience consisted of mostly elder people and a few scattered young adults and teens. It was very emotional and I can remember that after wards most (visibly) queer people still had red eyes from crying. I wish I could experience it again or at least watch a recording of it.

#queer literature #queer theatre #rb #the faggots and their friends between revolutions

boredlime

“kind of dating” but not as in a situationship or talking stage but in that your relationship is unique to you and transcends the boundaries of being friends and being in a romantic relationship in a way that is much too complicated to explain to someone without discussing it for at least half an hour and we don’t have that kind of time because you were just casually asking who they are to me

#rb #qpr #polyamory

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

live just keeps happening