⚜

what if you turned your magic all the way up 🖤🖤🖤 this blog is so old please leave the skeletons in the archive, and let them rest

[suturesque]

[theworsethingsgettheharderifight]

[amygdalae]

I know the most dangerous dumpling-based spells and incantations. I can teach you how to enact wonton destruction

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

I didn't ask how big the room is, I said "I cast Firebao".

[daughter-of-sapph0]

cis people: I'm such an ally to trans people! I love them so much

trans people: great. can you do one thing for us? can you not play the shitty wizard video game? the one where the main enemies are the antisemitic Jewish coded goblins teaming up with the wizard nazis? the game based off of a series with antisemitism, racism, slavery apologists, homophobia, and a nazi getting a redemption? the game that gives money directly to the figurehead of a hate movement that gets children in the UK killed? you know that game? don't play it.

cis people: OMG YOU'RE ASKING SO MUCH OF ME!!! YOU'RE SO DEMANDING!!! I'M SORRY I'M NOT PERFECT!!!

[daughter-of-sapph0]

people are missing the point of this post.

this is a game about killing Jewish coded characters after they team up with the literal nazis. there's side quests where you can visit house elves who are slaves, but it's okay because they like being slaves. this game is based off a series filled with antisemitism, racism, homophobia, and more. the lead developer had an anti-sjw alt right youtube channel where he talked about gamergate. money made from this game goes to a violent transphobe who is passing laws to get children killed.

don't play this game. don't buy it. don't pirate it.

DON'T PLAY THE FUCKING GAME

[ocdnatural-deactivated20220809]

not the biggest fan of how all everyday tasks have to be repeated again and again. girl why am i sisyphus i didn't even cheat death

[strahmsseveredhand]

my favorite genre of photo is cosplayer out in a random place in public. and i’m not talking abt malls or hot topic and shit where you’re already more likely to find cosplayers. i’m talking abt seeing like a junko enoshima cosplayer at a mcdonald’s

[strahmsseveredhand]

[j3tsabyss]

[campyvillain]

ok but i don’t think any of these can compete with this pic taken by a professional photographer of just the most dejected spamton i’ve ever seen. just alone. with three seperate drinks. also this was featured on an official bbc news report

[meow-moment]

[truechaosseed-deactivated202405]

[captaincheesealphamix-deactivat]

[mff-doom]

[jenlog]

this is from the 2000's btw

[anarchopuppy]

Looks like @staff mistakenly censored this comic, which is an ironic and very funny thing to happen

Here it is again. You might want to save it just in case an accident like that happens again

EDIT: HMM. LOOKS LIKE OP WAS BANNED TOO. WHAT A FUNNY. IRONIC. ACCIDENT

[sapphicisms]

if you’re butch in public you’re showing kids what kind of woman they can be. you’re a marvel and an open door. you are something they might have thought was impossible. you are the proof little butch girls need that they can exist grown up and happy and handsome without changing a single thing

[rogha]

there’s got to be at least one trans woman named eve out there whose deadname is adam. and she’s the funniest person to ever grace this earth with her presence.

[obsidiannebula]

She’s right

[truebluemeandyou]

Types of Sleeves Infographic from Enerie 

*3 images because Tumblr still cannot seem to host clear and sharp images of vertically long images.

Writers continue to reblog these infographics for their useful terminology. If you’ve missed any infographics, here they are:

Know Your Shoes Part 1 Lobster Claws anyone?

Know Your Shoes Part 2

Know You Heels

Fashion Pattern Vocabulary Part 1

Fashion Pattern Vocabulary Part 2

Know Your Check Fabrics

Know Your Animal Prints

Know Your Hosiery

Know Your Gloves

History of Hairstyles Part 1

History of Hairstyles Part 2

Know Your Braids

Know Your Scarves

Know Your Belts Part 1

Know Your Belts Part 2

Know Your Sleeve Lengths

Know Your jacket length

Know Your Skirt Lengths

Know Your Pant Lengths

Know Your Front and Back Yokes

Know Your Yokes and Hems

Know Your Pleats

Know Your Darts

Know Your Denim Pockets Part 1

Know Your Patch Pockets Part 2

Know Your Pockets Part 3

Know Your Sleeves

Know Your Bras

Know Your Collars

Know Your Hair Buns

Know Your Sunglasses Infographic

Know Your Necklines

Sleeves and Necklines

Know Your Hats

Know Your Collars and Cuffs

Know Your Necklines

Know Your Skirts

Know Your Nail Shapes and What’s Popular on Instagram

Know Your Eye Liners

Know Your Wedding Dresses

History of Swimwear

Know Your Vintage Sleeves here

Know Your Vintage Collars and Necklines

Know Your Zippers and Zipper Pulls

[exitwound]

electric stoves aren’t real btw they’re placebo stoves. your food cooks because of the placebo effect

[transarsonist]

yeah no its just a bunch of LEDs that turn red, it only boils water because you expect the water to boil

[citrono-kirbo]

[horchatarevolution-deactivated2]

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

I just know the comment section on this tiktok is a minefield

[dashingprince]

Hello white mutuals. Before you is a charcuterie board with 15 different types of cheese. If you manage to go 12 hours without touching the cheeses you can leave this room. Good luck.

[ellenripleysgf]

[scarabesque]

[recoiloperated]

12 hours?

I couldn't make 12 minutes.

They wouldn't even finish the sentence, I'd be eating cheese.

[castieldreamsofdean]

Seen this across my dash a few times but first time with that last image and I just lost it

[kirianthedivorce]

Absolutely losing it at this Reddit post

And the update

She buttered Jorts

[anoonzee]

The outrage summed in a perfect Tweet:

[notemily]

FINALLY

I’ve been collecting the best Jorts tweets and waiting until the moment he showed up on my dash to post them. So here you are, the curated best of the past, oh, day or so:

[rhipidurafan]

Some additional quality memes from the past 24 hours:

Meanwhile, OP has continued tracking trash can mishaps on twitter:

And a quality photo of this sweet potato:

[rhipidurafan]

An update for those not following Jorts’ twitter account, starting with a transcription of the Wellerman cover:

Link to the lovely video

There once was a ship that put to sea The name of the ship was the Jorts and Jean The ship she rolled and her closet doors closed Oh no, where’s Jorts? Oh no!

Soon may the smarter cat come To save poor Jorts so orange and dumb One day when the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go

When Pam came on, she had a plan To teach our Jorts about garbage cans Pam meant well but her plans fell flat When HR said, “don’t butter the cat”

Soon may the smarter cat come To save poor Jorts so orange and dumb One day when the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go

Now Jean the smart cat comes She saves poor Jorts so orange and dumb Now that the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go

We’ll take our leave and go

We’ll take our leave and go

Additional quality memes:

A recipe for Buttered Jorts:

Recent Jorts activities:

And some very wise words from the cat himself:

[petermorwood]

This is the largest Jorts post I found before I decided to stop, and combines a lot of memes in one convenient package.

Along with cats, of course. Smartly done!

[eyetosky]

THROW OFF THE JANGLY YOKE OF OPPRESSION

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“WE ARE THE FUTURE RUDOLPH, NOT THEM”

[dr-archeville]

M: “What’s your name?”

R: “Rudolph.”

M: “What’s your real name, Rudolph?”

R: “… Red-Nose.”

M: “Quite a talent you have there, Red-Nose.”

[dr-archeville]

[miscreant-side-puffs]

The only holiday post worth the season

[soufcakmistress]

Lmaooooooo

[srsfunny]

An Idea To Prevent A Nuclear War

[pocketrunner]

“My suggestion was quite simple: Put that needed code number in a little capsule, and then implant that capsule right next to the heart of a volunteer. The volunteer would carry with him a big, heavy butcher knife as he accompanied the President. If ever the President wanted to fire nuclear weapons, the only way he could do so would be for him first, with his own hands, to kill one human being. The President says, “George, I’m sorry but tens of millions must die.” He has to look at someone and realize what death is—what an innocent death is. Blood on the White House carpet. It’s reality brought home.” - Richard Fisher, Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists (1981)

[north-bi-northwest]

Never forget that part of the reason this system was never implemented was that when he presented it to his colleagues, their response was IIRC “George, that’s terrible! If he has to take an innocent life, he may never press the button.”

[maeamian]

why would u leave this in the tags!

[nighthamcollege]

[helloitsbees]

this is entrapment

[helloitsbees]

two equally delightful paths here:

1) a very simple and genuine “i like your shoelaces”, which tells me that you are either a lesbian or a very cool ally

2) “i like your shoelaces” followed by the pronounced grimace of one recalling their past sins, which tells me that you were a 2012 tumblr user. i now hold the power in this conversation and you are at my mercy.

[asofterepilogue]

if you know about 2012 tumblr how do you hold any power in any conversation

[helloitsbees]

well, stucky fanfic url, the trick is to not let them know that you are also cringe

[excusing]

this is the most poignant burn ive seen all year

[helloitsbees]

[wilburian-deactivated20221116]

everyone lost

[mango-pickle]

#tumblr is an ecosystem you kill one trophic level and everyone starts dying

(via @binguscore)

[agentemo]

losers gonna pick on losers forever ^-^

[helloitsbees]

[catgirlforeskin]

[trans-angel]

[catgirlforeskin]

[that-twink-over-there]

Tumblr has the best PvP of any social media

[snowylynxx]

[rozunderpressure]

Every time you point a finger, there are 3 pointing back at you...

[the-haiku-bot]

Every time you

point a finger, there are 3

pointing back at you…

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[hellolovelyscientist]

#fuckin haiku bot coming in like a tactical nuke