The R3negade X Show

Home to the world's most Renegade of X's, we offer gaming videos, reviews, random skits, and inflated egos! Come join in the fun and wallow in the madness!

[i-am-a-fish]

things have changed. it is different

[thefencebeetle]

Are you still a fish?

[i-am-a-fish]

yeah,

yeah I am.

some peace can be found in that

[artisticmothmanreblogs]

[i-am-a-fish]

I love this so so much

[i-am-a-fish]

every time you make art of any kind, a stat that is not visible to the player goes up. also, this is the most important stat in the game

[ledogeishere]

does singing in the shower count as art

[i-am-a-fish]

does a strong as fuck ice mummy have ice powers

[the-quietestmela]

does writing fanfiction count as art

[i-am-a-fish]

don't make me say the mummy thing again

[r3negade-x]

I misread an ad that said "date confident men" as "date confidence men" and I was appalled. If I ever date a man, he will have an honest job and will not make his living scamming innocent people, thank you very little!

[i-am-a-fish]

can someone please please please please send me a grilled cheese in the maill I'm so hungry my address is 100 ocean

[saturn-catz]

Fish don't you know better than to dox yourself on the Internet

[i-am-a-fish]

Apt. C

[moringmark]

[joshpeck]

obsessed

[captoring]

[evilwizard]

pitch for my new tarot card “The Emoji”

[redstonedust]

redstone is the most incomprehensible item in minecraft

your mom comprehended me good and well last night

[existencebringsonlypain]

deltarune weird route crackfic where noelle, horrified, tells kris to tell her it didn't happen, it didn't snow, but kris forgets the past tense of snow and the soul ends up having them say "it snew" and then the colors return to normal instantly and noelle's like "what" and the soul's options are "what" and "what" and either option you pick the snowgrave route is aborted

[existencebringsonlypain]

Visit Original Link

[cryptidfuckery]

Hey so like omen wise how are we doing. Are we doing okay

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

Could mean good things!

[lets-nuke-it-from-orbit]

Hey @evilwizard. So, you up to anything new lately?

[evilwizard]

haha it’s funny you ask

[moringmark]

[i-am-a-fish]

I hope you get your favorite food this week and your favorite drink and your favorite 2k dollars

[i-am-a-fish]

I'm sorry there's no magic in this post I'm just talking. I hope good stuff happens to people online I hope good things happen to all of us

[cryptotheism]

So, Moses is a cleric, Solomon is a wizard, Joshua is a paladin, David is a bard, Jesus is a sorcerer, his apostles and Paul are warlocks, Elisha is a druid, Elijah is a monk, Samson is a barbarian, Tahkemonite along with Eleazar and Dodo are fighters, John the Baptist is a ranger, Jacob is a rogue

I'm really cautious about using DnD terms to describe nuanced historical metaphysics like this. DnD's cosmology is a mess. I don't know how it works because the writers don't know how it works. It's very easy for readers to come away with the wrong impression, and tbh it often comes off with this corny-ass "hello fellow kids did you know the Buddha was literally a hecking druid" type energy.

I wanna stress: This is fun to think about, but please don't treat this as meaningful analysis of real-world religions. I wanna demonstrate how quickly these terms break down when you're looking at actual historical metaphysics.

If we wanted to analyze biblical characters with DnD terms, every Charismatic Jewish Holy Man would be classified as a warlock. Moses is not a nebulous intermediary between gods and mortals. The man famously had a covenant. The whole covenant thing is a pretty important part of Judaism. But then again, that brings up problems for what the destruction of the first temple would mean for the classification of Judaism. Does the development of the rabbinical system suddenly turn everyone from warlocks into clerics? Within Judaism, the word of God is the law under-girding the whole of the world, including nature. Does that make every Rabbi a druid?

Jesus certainly wouldn't be a sorcerer, hes just a God. His power isn't hereditary, he is literally God. Calling Christ a sorcerer would be heresy.

Solomon is a wizard. The DnD wizard archetype is quite literally based on the biblical character of Solomon.

Samson is kinda a paladin? I'm not entirely sure what he would be classified as.

The Apostles are tricky, because their classification would probably change as the doctrine developed. Initially they would probably be classified as warlocks who "inherited" the laws and works of the new covenant with God, which is warlock metaphysics. But, several of them were kinda in charge of writing the new laws of the covenant, which I guess would be cleric metaphysics. Several of them also have priestly vows, which is paladin metaphysics.

John the Baptist is the only one on this list who could be considered a DnD Druid. Baptism as a rite probably has non-jewish pre-christian roots. I guess its the closest thing Christian metaphysics has to "nature magic." But my even suggesting that the power of baptism stems from a source other than God would be heresy.

[literallymechanical]

My copy of the Adventurer's Guid to the Bible agrees with CT. John the Baptist has an NPC stat block for a 7th level Circle of the Baptist Druid. Samson is also mentioned in the character creation section as having been a 14th level Path of the Nazirite Barbarian.

As for Jesus:

The book is very clear that Jesus is literally god (innate Charisma caster) and has access to the full spell list, and that he has no stat block or class levels. He can just do whatever.

The only strongly suggested Jesus mechanics are that absolutely wild spell-like ability to Stun anybody who forces a WIS, INT, or CHA save on him, and that he uses the Commoner stat block for DEX, STR, and CON.

Also:

I'm jewish and very much not an expert, but I feel like there are some WILD heresies implied by the "if the players want to kill jesus, just roll with it" paragraphs lmao.

[prokopetz]

It's fine to disagree with the IAU about the definition of "planet"; however, if your definition includes Pluto but not Ceres, Orcus, Haumea, Quaoar, Makemake, Gonggong, Eris or Sedna, you don't actually care what a planet is – you just want the exact list of nine planets you learned in primary school back. Your cute little Pluto-including orbital distance mnemonic ought to be at least seventeen words long, and good fucking luck with the Q!

[thefiresontheheight]

My Very Exciting Magic Carpet Just Sailed Under Nine Orphic Palaces, Slandering Hungry Quaker Matrons Going Erotically Southward.

[prokopetz]

I appreciate that you included Salacia but not Charon – really threading the needle pedantry-wise there.

[jvyhoney]

how do i get close to you

You can’t

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

agnostic-atheist spectrum but with flavors

an omnipotent creator being almost certainly doesn't exist but if it does, it's a supervillain

gods shouldn't exist but we keep creating them to use as weapons. and no one knows how to defuse one

gods don't exist which is a relief bc otherwise we'd be forced to hunt them down for execution

creator god exists and we owe it nothing (DEEPLY unqualified)

god/s abandoned us and it hurt at the time but in hindsight we escaped a highly toxic relationship

the universe is a pet goldfish kept in an irresponsibly small bowl by a toddler deity whose parents are considering moving up to a hamster

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

not just atheist but anti-theist. a divine being descends to earth and im in the background booing

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

god isn't real but if it was, we'd be obligated to imprison it for crimes against humanity

[aaloosshitposting]

"If I were orpheus I wouldn't look back"

But we look back everyday- rechecking emails, making sure a friend is still behind you, checking to see if you remebered to pick up your keys. It's second nature, a habit of care.

It was second nature for him too. He looked back, not out of weakness, but love. For what is love, if not to look back?

[i-am-a-fish]

every time you make art of any kind, a stat that is not visible to the player goes up. also, this is the most important stat in the game

[ledogeishere]

does singing in the shower count as art

[i-am-a-fish]

does a strong as fuck ice mummy have ice powers