r4 king of camelot

this was meant to be a merlin side blog. its not. its whatever

[apollos-archief]

the insta user who came up with "refuse reform: recycle" as a count binface slogan deserves a nobel prize btw

[drakensberg-blog]

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

[poupon]

how dare you say we piss on the poor

[were--ralph]

Me exploding after my minotaur boyfriend cums 19 gallons inside me

[keeper-of-the-flames]

Gonna make your werewolf boyfriend jealous.

[were--ralph]

Me in the hospital after they've both had their turn

[narcissistcookbook]

tumblr should have a little clippy guy, a tumblrweed or something, that pops up and says "hey it looks like you posted this exact joke 15 months ago, are you sure you want to do yhis"

[owl-liberation-now]

YEAH i wanna post this again tumblrweed, shit is HILARIOUS

[owl-liberation-now]

YEAH i wanna post this again tumblrweed, shit is HILARIOUS

[narcissistcookbook]

hahaha tumblrweed

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

fully sober in the club googling iliad full text

[libraford]

One of the schools I photographed had a boy on the volleyball team because there wasn't enough interest in having a boys volleyball team. They made an exclusion for him to be on the girls team.

So when I hear people saying stuff about trans athletes and phrasing it as 'boys should not play in girls sports,' im actually thinking about that kid.

[moonbrainedtranny]

my ereader case used to say pocketbook but after my great discworld reread this seems more appropriate

[anglaised]

not fully related but thats also y when i see yall on here like “awww i wish we had purple people or people with horns or people with neon green eyes….💔” im like. yall cant even handle black people…yall cant even handle caring about people like 5 shades darker than you….u want the world to be ‘whimsical’ or whatever yet ur completely fine with white supremacy 😭 evil ass individuals u cant handle a cyclops or a fairy u cant even handle hip hop!!!!

[transand]

we need less “trans women/men should be allowed in women’s/men’s spaces” and more “gender segregated spaces are inherently sexist and transphobic, and we should replace them with gender neutral spaces”

[mylordshesacactus]

For all that the 1800s etiquette guides are--obviously--derangedly sexist from a modern perspective? They're also mindblowing in how casually they will assert things that MODERN DAY CONSERVATIVES would scream and cry and shit their pants about.

"People back then always married young it's natural!!!" Every single 1800s guide I've ever met casually mentions that, of course, you really shouldn't get married before you're at least 20, and waiting until 25 is usually better.

Or, like. Okay here's a long segment:

Just firmly going "it is crazy sexist to blame The Wife for overspending when thirty seconds of asking questions will immediately establish that her husband was outright lying to her about how much money they had. Talk to your wife like a normal person."

Or--okay, here. A section on being honest and not writing love letters in secret, because that's usually a good sign that there's something untoward going on....

....except that he then immediately acknowledges that sometimes, the reason you're hiding this from your parents is that your parents suck. That there are parents who frankly have not earned the right to approve or disapprove of your partner.

(I realize the phrasing there sounds a lot less strong than my summary, but--trust me on this. When you're familiar with the narrative voice of these kinds of books, this passage is downright radical. The mere acknowledgement that if you treat your kids badly, it's your own damn fault when they don't talk to you? I've genuinely never seen that before in this genre. Don't freak out over "properly trained", either. It's just a linguistic shift--at the time, "training" was used the way we would say "raising" a child today. )

[allsortsoffuckedup]

Hey hey, as a librarian, can I just say don’t pace yourself at the library. I get a lot of customers saying “oh I shouldn’t get too many books out at once” but like you should!!!! Max out your card, take everything we have on a subject you’re interested in, make a book fort in your home. We love that shit! It doesn’t matter if you read them or not; just take them for an adventure and bring them back whenever they’re due!

For public libraries, one of the ways we secure funding year to year is lending. Governments don’t want to fund more books if they’re not being used and the way we measure use is by issues. Regardless of whether you read it or not, whether you have it for a day or a month, if you issue it to your library card, we get the stats! It makes the library look good!

Help your local library; get books out even if you know you can’t read them all!

[anistarrose]

my futile wish is for people to understand that "sex scenes in movies/TV don't have to serve the plot and can genuinely just be for pleasure" and "sex-repulsed people are allowed to complain about how rare it is for media made for adults like them to be something they can enjoy completely" are both true statements. unfortunately society hates both sex and people who don't like sex, so everyone gets far too defensive about any sex or lack thereof in fiction to actually have this conversation

[luke-naberrie]

nigel farage resigning to try and delay the investigation into him and immediately restanding for election in the same constituency, only for every single major party to say 'yeah nah have fun pal, see you back at work for the investigation' and refusing to entertain him is hilarious enough on its own.

the fact that the only person running against him is fucking count binface, who is promising to build one (1) affordable house, is hysterical. and he has a not zero chance of winning.

[kardrath]

Vote Binface

I love Count Binface for many reasons, but this perfect parody of dodgy election leaflet bar charts is pretty high up the list.

[rhube]

Is Tumblr aware of Count Binface, current hope for our nation?

Let me explain:

Grotesque fascist grifter, Nigel Farage, is the leader of Reform, the racist far right party he created because UKIP got what it wanted (Brexit) and it sucked.

Having tried and failed to be an MP many times (but somehow getting more screentime than any Liberal Democrat or Green politician), he finally succeeded in the last election because people were so overwhelmingly pissed off with the Conservatives, and many right-wing people saw Reform as the new Conservative Party; partly because it's full of rejects from the Conservative Party.

Speculation: he doesn't really want to be an MP, he wants to be a fascist grifter. He's annoyed by suggestions he do things like Be In His Constituency and Serve His Constituents.

He's recently been caught having accepted a VERY large amount of money from some unsavory people that he insists was a totally legitimate 'donation' and not breaking any rules.

Only it did break the rules and it's very clear that it did and things are in motion to hold him to account.

To avoid this, he has resigned as an MP, saying this is a protest at his treatment by the 'establisment' (he is a rich fascist grifter, but he likes to cosplay as a Man of the People). This has triggered a by-election, in which he is standing, with the hope that the people of his constituency will either elect him in a resounding win, indicating they don't care that he's corrupt (having not heard everything the investigation is uncovering), or someone from Labour or the Conservatives will win and he can swan off to America, free to grift again because of what the 'establishment' did to him.

Only, all the major political parties have agreed not to stand, stating openly that this is an obvious stunt and they won't legitimise it. So if he doesn't win, he can't say it was because he was too much of a rebel and the Establishment went against him, he'll just be a loser, which doesn't play too well with the right-wingers he wants to grift. And if he does get back in the investigation will go forward without any kind of 'mandate' from his constituency buoying him up.

But. There is another option.

COUNT BINFACE IS RUNNING.

Count Binface is part of the grand British tradition of joke candidates who stand as a protest option. They usually don't get enough votes to get their deposit back (which is supposed to deter unserious people) but they don't care, because DEMOCRACY.

Of course, Count Binface has never won, but it is hilarious to see a completely serious pathetic fascist concede defeat while standing next to a man with a bin on his head to whom they are democratically equal.

But if nobody else is standing. And if enough people in Clacton-on-Sea are finally cheesed off enough with Farage not doing anything for them, there is just a chance that one of the funniest things to ever happen in politics will happen.

Imagine. Imagine for just a moment that the Grotesque Fascist not only loses, but loses to Count Binface.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

Also, for reference, Farage resigning won't actually stop the investigation against him. The investigation will just be paused while the by-election is going on.

If he wins, the investigation will no longer be paused. It looks very likely that Farage will be found to have breached parliamentary disclosure rules which, considered the severity (5 million quid ain't nothing), could get Farage suspended from parliament.

And if Farage is suspended for 10 days or more, it could trigger a recall petition which can trigger a new by-election that Nigel would have to stand in again if he wants to keep his seat.

But if he loses, the investigation may be picked up again. Not being an MP does not mean the investigation can't continue. If it's considered appropriate, it will carry on.

I say this for anyone in Clacton-on-Sea who worries voting for the Count would let Nigel off scot-free. Farage does not have a get-out-of-jail-free-card for this investigation. Especially because there's at least another four Reform donations that were reported by bankers as suspicious.

[homunculus-argument]

The turn of phrase "shit hits the fan" paints a very vivid picture, but before the invention of the electric fan, it would've brought up a very different mental image. With a modern fan, once shit hits the blades, it's everywhere. But if one is used to only thinking of those old-fashioned foldable hand fans, the first assumption would be that no matter where else it hit, you could presumably at least shield your face.

[shesnake]

some of us just don’t want to read problematic white authors so ao3 is our only option 🤷‍♀️

oh there is no saving youse

[duncebento]

the famously unproblematic white authors of ao3