Current Hyperfixation: Heated Rivalry & F1

Leah. 28. INTJ. She/Her. This blog is now whatever my current hyperfixation is.

[escapepodding]

Someone is going to make the joke about birthday blow jobs (its my bday so my wife gonna blow me as my present 😜) and Ilya is going to be so genuinely confused and in need of an explanation and that is how the team is going to discover that Shane Hollander gives insane head and loves it and not know what to do with that information.

Ilya also doesn't want them to have that information (stop thinking about his man) but its out there now, to collective horror

[gaynehollander]

I may have written a one-shot about this.

[actuallysara]

happy

[glorious-spoon]

anyway the thing about fanfic is that it's not essentially bad or good; it's essentially amateur. some people are absolutely out there writing award-worthy prose (some fic writers ARE award-winning writers IRL!), but that's not the point. the point is that we're all telling campfire stories. it's a community, and it's a way to spend some more time in the worlds and stories that we love.

[regainingparadise]

When #myshane retires, he doesn’t go into coaching or podcasting or whatever.

He becomes a consultant who shitty teams trying to not suck, good teams who want to last further into the playoffs, great teams who want to finally win the cup, call to Fix Them.

He is paid absolutely bonkers amounts of money to watch a team play for five minutes and immediately diagnose what’s wrong with them. He is always right.

Ok 5 minutes is probably an exaggeration. The coaches send him a bunch of tape to review in advance. They probably focus on their best players or the ones they think need the most improvement, but half the time Shane requests more, focusing on players they hadn’t paid much attention to before. Then one day at practice, the players look up into the stands and are filled with awe, terror, and wonder, because Shane Hollander is sitting there staring directly at them with a scarily thoughtful look on his face.

He meets with the coaches and gm and reports his conclusions. Who to trade and for who , how to get better results from certain players, how to run power plays and penalty kills, changes in line makeups.

Some lucky players get to meet with him. He takes about five minutes to list off or demonstrate everything they need to do to stop sucking. He has no time for chit chat or hero worship. Focus, listen, learn, and do exactly what he says and you will be good. Fail to do what he says and you will shame your entire bloodline.

I think that, if he’s not the one actually playing, this would be a dream job. It involves Knowing Things About Hockey, Judging Shitty Hockey Players, Getting Recognized As The Best at Hockey, Being Correct, and Making Hockey Better. He should get to do all these things

[stardustpainter]

Ilya trying to outplay his demons

[grabmyboner]

imagine you wake up and throw your hair in a messy but perfect bun on top of your head you walk downstairs and your mom is waiting for you “pack your stuff!” she yells “why?” you ask then suddenly two people walk into the room it is nhl players shane hollander and ilya rozanov “we take you” ilya says like a russian cave man “you’re ours now” shane says. you’ve been sold to hollanov.

[gaynehollander]

Headcanons are not necessarily things you like. For example, Shane Hollander sleeps with his socks on and I fucking hate him for it. He's a big burly man. He generates a lot of heat. Logically, he should not need to be putting effort into keeping his feet warm while snuggled under the covers. But he does and I am cursed with knowing that.

[pain-isnt--needed]

[penandinkprincess]

i love yuna and david being parental towards ilya for ilya's sake (man wants a family more than ANYTHING. he has so much love inside him!! let him be someone's kid!! let him be in a unit!!), but i also really love it for shane's sake.

i hc that david and yuna wanted more kids and just couldn't have them, and i feel like shane is aware of this and feels the pressure of being The Only One. like mom and dad wanted more but only got me, so i have to be The Best One, which i feel like plays into the bit of emotional distance there is between shane and his parents, because i think shane early on would internalize that problems have to be kept to himself because he's The One. if he has problems or isn't doing life correctly, then he's failing!! he will disappoint them!! they only got him!! if he fucks up, he's failing at being The One!!

(thus the apologizing for being gay. because he's The Only One, and they got a gay one, so he's not doing perfect son marrying a girl and giving them a daughter-in-law and grandkids thing he's supposed to do. that's how to Son correctly! and he's not doing it! and they're not going to get another one! it's just him! so him deviating from 'normal' means he's fucking up and not playing the role he's supposed to even though he tried SO hard.)

and i feel like being able to split attention and responsibility with ilya would honestly take weight off of shane's shoulders. (and also offers the ability to become more close with his parents. because hey! he fucked up! (from his pov) he didn't do The Right Thing here and guess what! he's not in trouble! his parents love him! they're not disappointed! it turns out he wasn't making The Wrong Choice! his parents still love him and are happy to get to know the person HE loves!!) like okay now we're BOTH responsible for making them proud and fulfilling The Son role, and now i can breathe a little bit better because i'm not in a spotlight by myself trying to be the most perfect child ever to make up for the fact that they only got me.

[bloominflowers]

those funny erling haaland memes but with ilya rozanov because this type of humor is very ilya coded to me

[smokingrozanov]

Ilya, lighting a cigarette outside of his own home: isn’t it crazy I was your first everything with a guy

Shane, sober but so horny he can’t think: can you put that out on me.

[the-haiku-bot]

Shane, sober but so

horny he can’t think: can you

put that out on me.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[smokingrozanov]

HAIKU BOT NO—

[ilyapricot]

Forever thinking about “Boston is nice too?” and wanting to throw up about it. Just sitting on the floor of a gym across from the stranger who would be the Shane of his existence like.

I am so far away from home. I am so afraid but I cannot show it. I’m going to be all on my own out there and people are not kind to me. I’ve always been alone, but never this kind of alone before. I don’t really know you, but you seemed kind. And earnest. You would not lie to me. Is it safe? Will I be happy there and safe? Boston is nice too?

Ougghhhhgg. My brave little bug I’mgping to be sick

[hollanoveau]

no but seriously like

yuna was born and raised in montreal. david went to college there. they definitely took shane to metros games at the bell center growing up. he KNOWS montreal, at least a little bit. but ilya? he doesn’t know shit about boston. never been there in his fucking life. he speaks english, sure, but speaking a language and knowing literally anything else about a city, about a country, are such vastly different things.

and here’s this boy, who came to find him and introduce himself to ilya when he had absolutely no obligation to. and he tells him yeah, boston’s great too, and he believes him, because he’ll believe in anything if shane hollander says it.

[flyora]

shall I add a description here?

[gaynehollander]

Shane calls Ilya on the verge of tears one morning, telling him he came in his sleep. It's all "I'm sorry," and "I didn't mean to," and "I know that's no excuse." And that's how Ilya finds out that Shane has been living with self-imposed orgasm denial ever since they became boyfriends because Ilya always tells him when he can cum when they're together so, in Shane's mind, that means he can't cum if Ilya hasn't told him to.

Ilya just about faints with how quickly all the blood in his body rushes to his cock and you best believe that rule becomes explicit after that phone call.

[gloryhollanovjah]

insane work in the tags @giveemhales

[depsidase]

[gaynehollander]

When seeing pictures of Connor in his slutty lil tanktop in Paris, it’s good to remind yourself that Hudson Williams is going to be paid cold hard cash to be tossed around by that man for several weeks.

[shilyas]

Hudson Williams — Wonderland Magazine (Spring 26)