wallacepolsom
Mike Driver
Sade Olutola
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
roma★
titsay
oozey mess
NASA
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Misplaced Lens Cap
tumblr dot com
Xuebing Du
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Jules of Nature
⁂
DEAR READER
almost home
if i look back, i am lost
izzy's playlists!
seen from United States
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seen from Canada
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seen from United States
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@rainbowspoopingunicorns
yesterday my grandma found a penny on the floor and said to my grandpa “there’s that penny again, pa!” and i absolutely lost my mind because i couldn’t shelve the thought of a single panel Far Side comic of two old people on the front porch in the middle of nowhere and a giant penny angrily and inexplicably rolling through the wastes
“there’s that penny again, pa!”
this is hands down my single favorite post ive ever made that got notes
i fuckign queued this and forgot abt it and got scared cuz i thought i was hacked or smth. anyways happy june eleventh
reblog while its still true
wait one fucking second it is June 10th the time police lied to me
hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???
i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)
oh, Sisyphus! i got you
Plot armor but it’s Bruce Wayne’s wealth.
Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.
He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.
Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.
But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.
Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.
Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.
So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?
Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.
Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.
Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.
Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.
Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.
Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.
But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?
Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.
Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.
So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.
Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.
At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.
The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.
Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.
All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.
Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.
But by GOD is he trying.
@thebibliosphere have you seen this? You need to see this.
Thank you to the multiple people tagging me in this. This is delicious delicious food for my ongoing hyperfixation 😅
I'm now imagining Batman finally breaking down and admitting all of this to Clark in desperation, hoping that his friend can somehow have some insight into how to keep the Wayne fortune from continuing to grow unabated. Clark is initially skeptical, but hey, this could totally be a potential story for the Planet, and he loves investigative journalism, so he tips off Lois and they start researching whether it's truly impossible for Bruce Wayne to lose money.
Meanwhile, Batman has the 'brilliant' idea to just buy up a film studio and not engage in Hollywood accounting chicanery. But he's uninterested in meddling with the production of films, and the public flocks to movies unburdened by executives demanding 'surprise twists' that don't make sense and testing everything with a dozen focus groups before release. Batman is at his wits end when Clark shows up and announces that he's figured it all out, the one way Bruce Wayne can actually spend his fortune without ending up even weallthier.
All he has to do is fund supercolliders to produce and contain indefinitely a single gram of antimatter. And thanks to all of Wayne Industries' green energy projects, that's possible to do without causing massive pollution now, but it still would cost trillions of dollars for something of little to no practical use outside of science. (Using it to power a probe to another star is still science, but also kinda silly when Superman could just fly there even faster.)
And then the supercollider research leads to revolutionary technology that makes him billions a year
Bruce (carefully folding report on "WayneSpaceSuperFountain" "Oh, hey, Kent. I'm glad you could drop by."
Clark (Confused as HECK by BRUCE wanting to talk to HIM- again) "It's no problem, Mister Wayne. Feel like another interview?"
Bruce (Smiles his absolute VACUUM headest smile): "Sort of. In reverse. You grew up around farmers, right? -Can I call you Clark? Just for now?"
Clark (Well, duh) "That's correct, yes. And sure thing, ah, Bruce."
Bruce (Whose baby blues are now hard as sapphires): "How- and be honest with me- how do I help farmers to NOT BE POOR?"
Clark (Total bluescreen) "Um. I, um. I'm not sure. What do you mean, exactly?"
Bruce (Carefully folding the WSSF report into quite a decent origami cow): "I can't give them money. And I mustn't loan them money. How do I help them not be poor?"
Clark: "Well... Hell."
Some people have fuck off money, Bruce Wayne has Fuck Me money
I still think it’s objectively fucked how the world is built for morning people and if you wake up later than everyone else you’re seen as a malicious aberration of some sort. I am that but it’s not because I wake up at 11 fuck yourself
Three kinds of people
what is this genre of photos called
We have forgotten the old ways of "I can haz cheezburger?"
This is a clear example of the subgenre of "Cat cannot haz cheezburger".
This is 100% me being a crank, but I'm getting real annoyed at seeing Ancient Traditional Crafts™ videos that depict people grinding minerals to make pigments with no respiratory protection. Like, yeah, an N100 mask isn't Authentic and shit, but do you know what powdered mica does to your lungs?
@sawdust-emperor replied:
Watching any green or blue-green mineral being ground to make pigment in these, praying it's just rough glass or some shit and not any of the almost always notably poisonous green minerals:
Being as I've also seen examples where the craftsperson is handling what appears to be raw cinnabar with their bare hands, I wouldn't say the odds are good there.
humbling
people saying "write what you want to see in the world!" and that's always a good sentiment but this post isn't really about "oh no there's no content for my ship", more the feeling of "i looked up something that i thought was so obvious that surely plenty of more seasoned ao3 perverts would have thought of it already, but apparently i'm the weird one"
Just remember: once upon a time there was no such thing as the Omegaverse and now there are whole professionally produced TV shows in that genre. Just because nobody's written about it doesn't mean you're weird in a bad way. Perhaps you're not just a pervert, you're an innovative pervert. Be proud.
I wonder if people in the fallout universe are still using 200 year old tampons or if some crazy chemist named fuckass atomic Becky or whatever has figured out how to mass manufacture them
Making home brew wasteland birth control and/or testosterone at a chemistry station out of some random stuff you found in a subway station. No need for atomic Becky’s janky tampons after that.
Atomic Becky of course has an issue with homebrew testosterone. Not because she’s transphobic but because there’s less people buying her questionable tampons.
Do you want atomic Becky’s spicy tampons or not
h- hopital
The hospital is overrun with super mutants so good luck with that
How I post when I don't know the Followers of the Apocalypse are right there and can solve this problem for free.
Not everyone lives near the followers of the apocalypse. Some of us are still raiding zombie infested Walmarts for some Tylenol.
first rule of storing tupperware is have fun and be yourself. second suggestion is slam the cabinet door quickly and don’t worry ‘bout it.
I think overall there will probably be devastating long term effects on the movie industry from a horror movie based on a youtube video based on a 4chan post making 7 times it's budget on opening weekend but I think the movie itself is probably preddy good
what studios are going to take away from this, unfortunately, is not that building practical sets instead of green screen stages and taking a risk on a 20 year old first time director can sometimes pay off and elevate a really thin script into something more substantial. they are going to start asking themselves how do we make a movie out of that one post that says notice how there was no wednesday this week
sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.
have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.
they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.
their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.
longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years
toxic flesh
has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.
lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion
largest genome of any shark
eats everything including moose and polar bears
ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you
this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard
just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !
Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!
Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir
I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks
