Silly repost today, someone save Kusanagi from this brat's shenanigans 😂

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Silly repost today, someone save Kusanagi from this brat's shenanigans 😂
They shatter me.
Obviously Mikoto loved and cared for all of HOMRA, but Totsuka was the chain holding him down, keeping him from running out of this cage made of bounds. I will never be over how their relationship was the trigger that started K.
what do you think happened to Mikoto's body? Did Homra cremated him like Tatara? I'd really like to read your theories!
I kinda feel like Kusanagi handled this one alone, because everyone else is still in such a state he feels like this is the last responsibility he has to take care of before he can leave the country. I wonder if the Homra rank and file even knew there was a body to take care of (for some reason I assumed for a while that the body had like burned up when the Sword of Damocles dissolved, until Gora mentioned something about it at an event). That being the case I could see Kusanagi sending everyone home, maybe even having Kamamoto take Anna for the night — she grabs his hand, because she knows what he’s going to need to do, and Kusanagi smiles thinly at her and tells her to get some rest — and then he goes to speak with S4. Awashima lets him know that she sent some S4 members to clear the area where the Red King ‘made his last stand’ but they’ll let Kusanagi through. Kusanagi thanks her and she has a conflicted look, she’s worried about Munakata but also about Kusanagi too, and he just smiles and walks by. Kusanagi wanders behind the school all on his own to where he sees a few S4 boys walking around blocking off the scene. Benzai spots him and all business asks if Kusanagi requires anything to ‘help retrieve the body.’ Kusanagi gives this rueful smile and says he can handle it, Benzai nods curtly and goes back to giving orders.
Kusanagi finds himself slowly walking over to Mikoto’s body, feeling like he’s not quite in his own body. I imagine him thinking he should give Mikoto a proper burial for the sake of everyone else — he’ll need to contact a funeral home, need to arrange a plot and a service and does Mikoto even have any relatives worth calling. In the end it feels like he can’t give Mikoto any less than Mikoto gave Totsuka and imagine Kusanagi kneeling next to the body and touching Mikoto’s shoulder (and maybe he removes Mikoto’s necklace first or his earring, takes the jacket to give to Anna later). Red power flares and there’s some commotion from the surrounding S4 members but Kusanagi ignores them, concentrating all his power until there’s no blood, no bone, no ash. He lights a cigarette and walks off without a word, and if anyone asks afterward he just says there wasn’t anything left to bury.
Do you ever think about what exactly happened when Kusanagi and Yata brought back Totsuka's body to HOMRA ? How Mikoto reacted when he first saw the body ? How everyone reacted ? Who brought it upstairs ? Did Anna see it or was she sent to her room before she could ?
It must have been such an heavy moment, it's rotting my brain
When I'm at uni but all I can think of is how Totsuka always knew, since he met Anna, that he would die if he kept on following Mikoto. And still, he stayed. Because Mikoto was the only thing he ever clinged too, the only thing that filled his void and warmed his cold heart. Totsuka thought himself as selfish for it, because he knew the consequences. He knew Mikoto would snap, he knew HOMRA would fall apart, all because of him and the love he had for Mikoto, all because he chose to stay. That's why he kept on taking pictures, on keeping memories.
In the end, Totsuka died thinking himself as the cold-hearted, cruel, being people like his father said he was.
His character writing is life-shattering, he deserved so much more.
It's really such a shame that Totsuka is so criminally underrated among what remains of the K-Project fandom only because the anime didn't dive into his character at all, unlike the mangas and novels, even though he's one of the most interesting and complex character of the serie in my opinion.
Totsuka is not just a silly sympathic weak guy that got randomly shot to start the show. To me, Totsuka is a great representation of a form of depression I rarely saw displayed in medias, as well as a form of people-pleasing that is born from what Totsuka considers being selfishness, but is actually a lack of self-consideration and self-esteem.
Totsuka isn't really as optimistic as he appears. It's more like he struggles to care for things and people, because he holds a sense of emptiness within himself that never truely leaves him. Let me explain.
As a child, his adoptive dad called him "cold-hearted", because Totsuka never got truely attached to any activity he tried, and always brushed off their financial struggles with his iconic line: "It's fine, it'll all work out somehow !"
This line is not a real show of optimism, but displays how nothing is ever that deep or important to him, because time will always go on and do its thing, solving the issue in a way or another. Everything is fleeting to him. "It'll all work out" more in the sense of "Things are the way they are, and we can't do anything about it, so let's just move on."
Totsuka has interests in everything because it's a way to fill the void, to feel, but it never lasted long for him. Totsuka can't cling to anything, nor anyone, because of that emptiness he holds: He felt nothing when being abandoned, nor when his adoptive dad died.
But then Mikoto and HOMRA entered his life.
And that's the first time Totsuka manages to hold on to something. To fill the void for more than just a few days or weeks. That's the first time he actually cares and clings to something.
Ironically enough, the "coldness" and lack of feelings he's made of is what makes him a necessity to HOMRA, an emotional pillar. HOMRA is a clan based on passionate feelings like anger but also love; HOMRA is caracterized by the strong bounds between every members. But it's also this that leads HOMRA, including Mikoto, to be careless, impulsive, and even dangerous sometimes. Totsuka fills none of HOMRA usual caracteristics. That's why he's such an oddity to people exterior to HOMRA, who just don't understand what this random guy is doing with them. Lots would say he doesn't belong among them, even Totsuka doubted it at some point. But as Kusanagi says in the novel, Totsuka is a need to HOMRA. They need someone who can be the "stopper", the inhibitor of their wild feelings, without using strenght.
Totsuka and Kusanagi's relationship in the novel is actually a great example of the responsability Totsuka holds as the "emotional pillar" of HOMRA. When they were younger, Kusanagi argued with Mikoto because of his dangerous fighting habits leading to self-destruction. Totsuka stayed silent through it all, just sitting on the couch as the dispute unfolded. It's only when Mikoto left the bar that he spoke up and asked Kusanagi: "... Should I leave you alone ?" to which Kusanagi responds: "No. Be there." as if Totsuka's mere presence was enough for Kusanagi to cool off after the altercation. Kusanagi also relies a lot on Totsuka's impression of other people to determine if they're good or bad. But one of the most impacting example to me is a scene where Totsuka started feeling down because of his weakness and selfshiness:
"Even I have feelings-"
"Stop that. If you feel down, somehow even I start feelin' down."
That's why Totsuka is Mikoto and all of HOMRA's weakness: He's the tamer, the one who can keep them stable. Without him, the clan just goes straight down to chaos, as we see in the story.
That's where Totsuka's "selfishness" comes in.
Totsuka was always aware of his own physical weakness, of how keeping hanging around Mikoto would cause troubles to HOMRA and himself. Still, he stayed. Because HOMRA is the first thing he finally could care about, finally cling to. Mikoto and all of HOMRA filled his void.
However, when Totsuka first meets Anna, she tells him right away that if he keeps following Mikoto, he would die young. And even though he was surprised of such a declaration, he believed her, and asked her to keep it for herself.
Totsuka knew he would die.
He knew he would die, he knew that would have consequences on HOMRA because he knew the major role he played among it.
Still, he stayed. Because HOMRA allows him to feel, to care, to cling to something.
That's one of the main reasons why he describes himself as cruel, cold-hearted, or selfish. Plus the fact that every "sympathic" thing or services he does are not out of pure empathy or selflessness, but only for Mikoto's or HOMRA's sake. That even includes taking Anna in the red clan; One of his reasons to make the offer in the first place, was because he thought Anna would be a good influence on Mikoto.
Since Mikoto and HOMRA are the only things he ever truely cared about, he wants to stay, and wants to protect them.
But once again, Totsuka staying in HOMRA actually leads the clan to its downfall, since his presence is as much as a need for himself and HOMRA, as it is a lethal weakness for both. It's a vicious cycle. Both staying and leaving HOMRA are a dead end for both himself and the clan.
So Totsuka chooses to stay, to fill his void, knowing the consequences, and silently blaming himself for his own choice.
Then, comes the day Totsuka dies.
And the scene of his death is actually so relevant to his character developement. So bear with me, because we're going to look into those life-shattering panels again 🤧
His first reaction is not even surprise, because he always knew that would happen someday. Instead, he immediately thinks of what he should do to keep HOMRA safe from troubles.
And right after that, comes the blame. He blames himself for being weak, he blames himself for being the one to lead the only people he ever cared about into problems. Once again, he blames himself for a choice he has to make, even though it's not his fault that every options lead to a dead end. And that's one of the first times we can see his carefree mask cracking:
Then he chooses to call Kusanagi instead of Mikoto, because he knows that calling Mikoto would make things even worse for everyone. But Kusanagi is his best friend too, and someone who emotionally relies a lot on Totsuka, remember ? Totsuka himself is aware of that. So here it goes again, what he considers selfshiness and cruelty: He chose to call and eventually hurt his best friend, just because he prioritized Mikoto's sake first. Even at death's door, he prioritized his selfish desire to protect the first person who filled his void (Even if, again, there was no good options, my guy please stop blaming yourself). His smile seems to both mock himself, and show his mentality of "Things are the way they are anyway":
That smile of his stays on his face through the call with Kusanagi, like it always did, because in the end, he managed to find something to cling to in his life: "I was blessed. Even now, I think that."
Things may be the way they are, but Totsuka found happiness in the end, so it's fine. There's no regret to have.
Or is there ?
That's where it strikes him, the realization. The regret. Yes, he found happiness by staying with HOMRA, but at what cost ? Everyone, and Mikoto above all, will face the consequences of his choice, of his selfishness. Totsuka knows Mikoto won't be able to live properly after his death, he's the only one who could stop Mikoto from destroying himself, he always knew that.
Totsuka always knew he was selfish for staying, but I think this is where he truely realizes the consequences of his choice: He led the ones he loves to self-destruction.
Would Mikoto be angry over his death ? Over his choice to stay by his side even if it doomed both of them ? Would he blame Totsuka for it ? Would Mikoto finally get what he always wanted too; Self-destruction ?
And in the end, even his last words end up being rooted in his "selfish" desire of Mikoto to be happy.
"I wonder if he'll be angry..." He asks as the fandom bawl their eyes out. Oh Totsuka, we love you.
Sorry he just heart-wrenches me okay ?!
There is also something so striking about Totsuka dying crying, meanwhile Mikoto died smiling.
Totsuka, always the so-called carefree, optimistic, silly one, dies crying, regretting the happiness he chose to live.
Mikoto, always the so-called rough, detached, violent one, dies smiling, finally content as he chooses to be free from the narrow existence he was trapped into.
It hurts even more to think that Totsuka probably never cried in his life, because of his lingering "coldness"/emptiness. And the one that has to hear him cry for the first time, is Kusanagi, the best friend who once asked him to not feel down, or he will feel bad as well.
That's how I view Totsuka's character. That's why he's one of my favorite character ever. He's not a pure sunshine character, he's flawed and human. He's a take of this strange feeling of existence being so empty yet so full of love; Having to live through others and hobbies, to try to feel something, but feeling guilty to use them in such a way. The coexistence of empathy and indifference. As well as a very good take of the "Haunting the narrative" concept.
Of course, this is only my interpretation of him, I don't hold the truth, so take it as you want !
We know that Facebook is brainscorching your parents and tiktok is brainscorching your cousins, but some of you refuse to admit that you got your brain scorched here. However unlike those sites there isn't an algorithm here you just make bad choices.
That's all we ever wanted. To arrive at Hell as a result of our own dubious navigation skills instead of as the result of Satan owning all the road sign companies.
"To arrive at Hell as a result of our own dubious navigation skills instead of as the result of Satan owning all the road sign companies."
This is my favorite quote of today.
For my next trick, I'm going the fuck back to bed
The Color Game. “Humans can’t reliably recall colors. This is a simple game to see how good (or bad) you are at it. We’ll show you five colors, then you’ll try and recreate them.” I scored 39/50 but got a perfect score on one color.
not terrible I suppose. for a warhammer painter who calls everything fulgrims pink or dryad bark I am bad at this
I’m damn proud of that last one. And annoyed by the 2nd one. With over 20 years of graphic design and costume design experience, I’d better be damn good at remember colors!
kinda embarrassed /lh
Switching Names...?
I have reread Loveless about four times this winter. So much of the story beats happen in winter or otherwise cold and rainy seasons, so maybe that's why. Not really important, but I think it's fun how many of us tend to reread the series during this time of year. I digress
The theory I have is that Seimei is Loveless; Ritsuka is Beloved.
if ur reading this Mwah
Choi Han: When Cale was born, the gods said, "He's too perfect for this world." Alberu: Please. When he was born, the devil said, "Oh, competition."
*spoilers for tcf water of judgment!*
Dont u just love when cale is in excruciating pain for an entire day cuz his plate is literally reconstructing itself AND him but afterwards he doesnt even sleep for an hour and just acts like hes fine not like he was cursing out and bleeding out and crying and shaking and almost dying?
There's a play on words in Russian, where changing one letter changes the phrase "Working Days" to "Working Fuckdays"
Continuing the headcanon that Kim Roksoo loved to cuss people out in languages they didn't understand.
Cale: 야이 씨발 개자식이야
White Star, taken aback: what language are you speaking?
Cale: the language of your ancestor, you son of a bitch.
Oh my god and you know what. I bet he also knows other unconventional ways of communicating his hatred if he wants people to understand sometimes. What, you're deaf? Don't worry, he knows how to sign "You bastard" in different country's ASL. He wants to be discreet? He knows morse code and is now aggresively tapping his finger in the meeting room and no one knows why LSH and CJS are on the brink of losing it. Heck I bet he knows binary, I bet he can draw hieroglyphics if he wanted to. There is nothing stopping him from learning every manner of communication in the world to either confuse people or make his hatred accessible. Kim Roksoo and Cale's spite is rated E for Everyone.
Oh I love this ⁽⁽ (๑˃̶͈̀ ᗨ ˂̶͈́) ⁾⁾
The original Cale Henituse is such a captivating character because even after so much time, he remains largely a mystery.
When he's introduced at the beginning of the story, it seemed he would be just an arrogant nobleman who did whatever he pleased and had no relevance beyond being a minor villain who would quickly be forgotten as the story progressed. However, even in the first chapters, KimCale gives us some more details about ogCale that show there's much more behind this "irrelevant" character than what was initially presented. And throughout the story, a few more details are revealed here and there, but nothing grand enough to drastically change the perception of the character. But these small details about who ogCale really is are enough to pique our curiosity, to make us want to know more about him. So when he finally appears, many questions are answered, but not enough, because ogCale is as slippery as KimCale when it comes to talking about himself.
To me, that whole story that ogCale told about being just a private during the war is as true as KimCale saying he was just an office worker when he lived in Korea.
The original Cale Henituse is one of, if not the, most important characters, because without him the entire TCF story wouldn't exist as it does, and we know almost nothing about who he really is.