I went to see this really great Talking Heads cover band on Friday, and before the show started one of my friends ran into a guy she vaguely recognized, and while they tried to figure out how they knew each other, one of that guy’s friends started chatting me up.
Gang, I can’t stop thinking about this guy. Not because he was hot (though he was), but because I have never in my life felt so wildly unmoored while speaking to another human being.
Like, he told me his name, I told him mine, and then I made a very in context joke about a lizard - too much to explain here, but I promise it made sense at the time. He responded, and I am not taking any liberties as I quote this:
“A lizard? Aren’t those the little guys that run around on two legs sometimes?”
It is hard to know what to say to that. I am good with conversational curveballs, but this was out of left field. I hesitated, then put on a very polite social smile and responded “yeah! I guess lizards do run around on two legs sometimes!”
“You are much like a lizard, then.” He said. “You’re also on two legs.”
I was briefly saved from having to come up with a response because the opening act started playing. Opening acts are hit and miss, but I was happy to discover that this particular one, Ruby Dear, has a frontwoman with an absolutely incredible voice. Like holy shit, after the first song my friend and I looked at each other and simultaneously said “PIPES.” I got pretty into their set, and would have been bummed out when they had to wrap up if the promise of a truly spectacular Talking Heads cover band wasn’t on the horizon.
I had by this point forgotten about my new friend The Lizardman, but he tapped me on the shoulder and said “Did you like the performance?” Okay, that’s a normal question, I could handle this conversation.
“Yeah, I thought they were great! Did you like them?!” I said.
“Yes! I’ve never been to a concert before!” He replied.
He shrugged. “I just haven’t.” I had to study him to see if he was fucking with me. He did not appear to be.
This presented a new question. He looked like he was roughly in my age range (late 20s/early 30s), but was it possible that he was very young?? He had to be at least 21 though, he’d been carded at the door and was drinking a beer. Furthermore, the friends he was with were in their late forties at the absolute youngest.
“You must really like the Talking Heads, if this is the show that got you to come out!” I finally said.
“Oh, I’ve never even heard a song by them.” He replied politely. “That’s the band that’s playing next?”
“The band playing tonight is called Start Making Sense.” I finally explained, after I had wrapped my mind around this. “They play songs by the Talking Heads. The Talking Heads broke up in like 1990.”
“Oh! Cool!” He said. “Were they any good?”
“… Yes.” I said after another few moments of interal debate about whether this guy was fucking with me. He had to be fucking with me.
Per the awestruck expression on his face after the band opened with Psycho Killer, he was not fucking with me. And he had questions.
“EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE KNEW ALL THE WORDS?!??” He exclaimed.
“YEAH WE ALL LIKE TALKING HEADS ENOUGH TO GO TO A TALKING HEADS COVER SHOW!” I yelled back.
“THAT’S AMAZING!” He decided.
And like, putting myself in his shoes (by which I mean the shoes of a time traveler from either 1600 or 2400), I had to agree with him.