Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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*✧*:・ﾟwelcome to celeste’s galaxy*:・ﾟ✧*
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requests are closed but please feel free to drop in and say hello ♡
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hihi!~ I saw you were accepting wind breaker requests and I would loveeee to hear your thoughts about how the furin boys (mainly suo, kiryu, and kaji) react to their s/o flirting with another guy to get the attention of their recently very busy boyfies? >< alternatively, would LOVE your thoughts on how the furin boys protect u from some creepy guys that won't stop bothering you at school (⌒▽⌒)☆
Such a cute request and I really really wanted to write windbreaker boys as overprotective. Seriously my favourite types of fics are where the female (specifically) is hurt and the male patches her up. My second favourite is overprotective male boyfriend/bestie. So specific and I can't find fics like these nowadays. My favorite windbreaker boys are Kaij, Suo and Kiryu<3
In their care
You have always been more of an 'it's whatever' person. If something or someone bothers you, you shrug it off and continue the day. Even if it sometimes gets serious, you prefer to get your boyfriend out of it and solve it on your own. Today was no different.
It was a regular day at school, just doing your work and then walking back home, when suddenly a group of guys stopped you. "Hey beautiful. Want to come with us? You can have all the fun you want." His awfully sweet tone made you worried, but footsteps were heard coming your way as they ran off without a second thought.
It was Kaji and his vice captains on patrol, just strolling through the town. "That serves them right, morons." Scoffing, you walked away.
It happened another day. You were just going home as the same guys tried to approach you, but again they went away as furin members were behind you.
Two times is a coincidence, but the third time is not. Those guys would show up every day now just to smirk and walk off. It was starting to make you worried and scared, so you thought it was finally time to tell it to your boyfriend.
I was walking with the brownies you had made and his friends, just thinking about the ways to tell him so that he does not snap. When you arrived, you took a deep breath before going inside.
"Hey Hayato." You called out but saw all the members of Furin training and really having fun with determination. "Hey Sunshine!" Umemiya called out to you with a big grin on his face, "We have started training days where we all train together and get stronger. Isn't it great?"
Suo spotted you and came to you with a smile. "Sunshine, what happened?" His gentle tone was usually honey to your ears, but today it felt different. You knew you couldn't disturb him when he was training so hard. "Uhm, it's nothing. I just wanted to visit you; that's it." He smiled at you before pulling you into a hug. Pulling away and giving him an excuse for extra homework was enough for him to not suspect you. You would tell him later that you must avoid those gangsters.
The next day, it finally broke.
As you were running to get home, being as sneaky as possible, a hand pulled into an alley as your head hit the floor.
"Who will you call this time? Those Furin boys, their patrol time is over, and our fun time is beginning." You cried as your knees bled, and they came closer to touch you.
Ouch, it hurt to fall to the floor again as your head started to bleed. "Gosh, Suo, just please come" was the only thought running through your head as you closed your eyes, preparing for the worst.
The hit never came as you slowly opened your eyes to find Suo just standing there, looking over at the guys who were beaten up badly. They were unconscious, but Suo didn't have a single scratch on himself.
He did not say anything but carefully picked you up in his arms. He wrapped a handkerchief around your head and knees temporarily. His expression went from deadly to calm; it was not the normal calm but something different.
You didn't even dare to speak a single word, just closing your eyes in his warm embrace, feeling safe and protective.
"I am glad you came." You tried to break the silence, but no response came. Sighing, you closed your eyes and almost immediately fell asleep in Suo's warm and safe embrace.
The next time you opened your eyes, it was in your shared bedroom. The lights were switched off as you were wrapped in a warm blanket.
" S-suo?" You called out to your boyfriend, who had some soup and snacks in a tray; he placed them down and sat next to you before saying, "I am sorry, Name, you should have come quicker."
He interweaved his fingers with yours before looking down. It made you feel upset for not telling him. As an apology, you cupped his face and closed your eyes.
Pulling him close, you kissed Suo gently. It was to reassure him that you were okay; everything was fine, and he should not worry about it.
"Suo, it's alright; just forget about it, okay? As a punishment, you are on dinner duty and cleaning duty for two weeks." He couldn't help but laugh before pulling you in for another kiss.
"I am fine with that."
Sorry, needed to make this a 3 part series
Distant | Oikawa Tooru x Reader
✧ Summary: Girlfriend to Oikawa Tooru, you were proud of what he was doing to chase his dream. The fruits of his success seemed evident to all - from various newsletters, covers on volleyball magazines - every day his fame was going. And yet every day… you were growing apart.
✧ Warnings: K+ :) ✧ Notes: Angst, Happy Ending, Cast from Free! make an appearance!!, one-shot,
Keep reading
HI ALL SORRY FOR THE HIATUS WITHOUT NOTICE. I've had MASSIVE writer's block so please send all requests my way ♡
LITTLE DARK AGE
haitani ran x fem!reader x haitani rindou
summary: eight years later, you finally return to tokyo and find yourself caught in the middle of a violent gang war between the two most ruthless criminal organizations of tokyo’s underworld, forced to choose between blood and love.
genre: bonten timeskip, angst, forbidden romance, childhood friends -> strangers -> lovers, 18+ MDNI
warnings: fem!reader,gang violence, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, explicit smut, polyamory, profanity, MCD, unedited, MTBA
chapter warnings: bit suggestive in first section, v fast paced chapter, prepare for whiplash
previous chapter -> masterlist -> next chapter
CHAPTER ⅩⅤ. BRING A STONE, ALL THE RAGE, MY LITTLE DARK AGE
T-MINUS SIX DAYS.
“Why are you up already?” your voice was soft as you stirred awake at the feeling of long fingers dancing across your bare upper back. You let out a quiet noise when you noticed the bright light emanating from beneath your eyelids and you shifted, trying to bury your face into Ran’s chest. “Nevermind.”
You felt his chest rumble as he chuckled, humming to yourself as he leaned down to kiss the top of your head, “Yeah,” he said dryly, voice rough with sleep, “That’s why.”
“He’s such an asshole,” you said under your breath, knowing damn well Rindou had purposefully slid open the blinds to wake the two of you up. “Just jealous that his body never lets him sleep in.”
You shifted to sit up, intent on going to find Rindou so you could voice your irritations but Ran only groaned, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you flush to him. You huffed, trying to push off of him just for a second but his fingers dug into your skin to keep you in place.
“You’re just as annoying,” you sighed, although there was a sort of fondness to your tone that you hadn’t intended on as you rested your cheek on Ran’s shoulder, opening your eyes to make sure you weren’t leaning too heavy on any of his wounds.
The sunlight burned your eyes for a few moments as you tried to focus in on Ran’s chest and abdomen, frowning when you caught sight of the dark bruises. They didn’t look any better than they had when you first got him out of there, and it caused a pit to start growing in your stomach because you figured that it should at least look a little better after a few days.
He claimed that they looked worse than they felt, but you weren’t quite sure how much you believed him considering every time he moved around, he was clutching his side and grimacing when he thought neither you nor Rindou were looking to notice.
“I’m fine,” he muttered, “Stop that.”
“Forgive me if I don’t believe you,” you replied quietly, “You’ve never exactly been keen on being honest with us when you get hurt.”
“... fair enough,” Ran replied, letting out an amused puff of air, “but I promise that it’s not as bad as it looks.”
“That’s not reassuring,” you said dryly, hand dropping down to his torso to trace the black lines of his tattoos. His abdomen spasmed beneath your light touch, a low hiss slipping past his lips, and you pressed your lips into a thin line, glancing up at him. “I barely even touched you.”
Ran wouldn’t meet your eyes and you let out an annoyed puff of air, shaking your head and rolling away from him, curling up on the opposite side of the bed, back facing him.
You listened to him let out a frustrated sigh, moving closer to you. You huffed when you felt his palm rest on your side, knowing that the only reason he himself wasn’t curling behind you on his side was probably because he wasn’t able to.
“Okay,” Ran admitted, “It’s still pretty bad.”
“No shit,” you said, “You can’t lie to us about this, Ran. What if something happens and they find out where we are? We won’t even know you’re-“
“Then I stay behind and make sure you guys have a chance to escape,” Ran said so firmly that you almost didn’t register what he said.
You sat up instantly, turning to face him, “Are you joking?” you demanded, but Ran did not have the teasing look in his eyes that he usually did whenever he made jokes that he knew would piss you off.
Instead, he looked away and your chest squeezed.
“Ran,” you gaped, “that is not going to-“
Ran reached up, long fingers spreading across your cheek as he cupped your face, turning his face back toward you so he could look you in the eye. “I can’t run,” Ran said quietly. “My body is fucked, y/n. And I don’t know how long it’ll take for it to recover. If they manage to figure out where we are, then I’ll give you guys the best chance of getting out of here I can because I will not be able to keep up.”
You shook your head, “No. We get out of here together,” you said.
Ran rolled his eyes, “We’ll die-“
“Then we die together,” you interrupted loudly, hands fisted tight at your sides. “We’re not going to leave you behind.”
“You and Rindou are the only two people in this world I care about,” Ran spoke after a moment, and you could barely hold his gaze. “Don’t make me be the reason you guys die.”
Your lips parted as if to speak but no words left them.
“You’re unfair,” you breathed out, pulling your face from his hand and looking down at your lap. “Asking that of us… it’s unfair.”
“I’m not sure you have much of a right to be talking about unfairness,” Ran responded—a gentle jab, you could hear the teasing tone in his voice, but you knew that if you looked up, that tone wouldn’t match his eyes.
You didn’t respond to the comment and Ran only let out a breath, shaking his head.
“The safe house is safe,” Ran said. “Sanzu is paranoid about this shit, no one will find us.”
You weren’t too sure about that. Sugawara had access to a lot of top-tier technology, courtesy of none other than you, all it would take was one slip up for everything to come crashing down.
“Come back here,” Ran said, holding an arm out toward you. And you had half a mind to ignore him, still shitty about the comment he had made, but your body was moving toward him on its own.
Your eyes slid shut as you rested your head on Ran’s bicep, sighing softly as he brought his hand to your hair, playing with a few strands absently.
“You worry too much,” Ran murmured.
“You worry too little,” you countered.
You could practically hear the smile in his voice as he spoke, “I think I worry the perfect amount, thank you very much,” he said and you opened your eyes only so that he could see you roll them at him.
“I think the same for me.”
Ran laughed, and as irritated as you might be, you couldn’t help the way your body warmed at the sound and the bright look in his eyes as he turned his head to the side to look at you.
“You’re ridiculous,” he said quietly, but his voice was laced with fondness and his eyes were soft as they met yours.
“Says you,” you shot back without heat, “I swear-“
You didn’t get to finish what you were trying to say, because Ran was leaning in and pressing his lips to yours, swallowing your words before you could get them out. You let out a surprised hum against his lips, eyes fluttering shut, hand coming up to cup his cheek, the pads of your fingers brushing underneath his eye.
He smiled against your lips after a moment, pulling back just enough so that your lips were brushing, “You talk too much,” he breathed out.
“And you-”
Cut off again, you couldn’t help the way your lips pulled up as Ran pressed his lips back to yours before you could finish. Half-rolled on top of you, you tried to pull back to ask him if he should be moving around like that but his hand slid behind your head, deepening the kiss, and it was hard for you to even focus on pulling back, much less on what you wanted to say.
Kissing Haitani Ran was intoxicating, you’d known it since that first night at the club. Every time he pressed his lips against yours it was like a heavy haze settled around your head, clouding your every thought and desire until all you could tunnel in on was him--him, him, him, like a beacon in a dark night.
You toyed with the ends of his short hair, nails scraping against his scalp and Ran let out a low groan against your lips, hips subtly rolling against yours. Your lips turned up even more as Ran shifted fully on top of you, parting your legs so he could slide between them.
“Rin will be-” you began as Ran’s hand drifted between your thighs, fingers dancing along the skin of your inner thigh, but you were interrupted by a familiar voice clearing their throat at the door.
Ran sighed, pulling back and rolling his eyes as he turned his head over his shoulder to look at Rindou, “Shouldn’t you be lifting weights or something,” he asked, irritated, rolling back off of you with a grunt and you couldn’t help but frown at the loss of warmth.
“Just finished,” Rindou said, “Made you guys breakfast but seems like you’re busy.”
Rindou wasn’t angry, you could tell that much, but he certainly looked less than pleased--most likely at being left out. Ran’s lips quirked up at Rindou’s words, “Not hungry, can think of a better way to spend my time.”
You shot Ran a side-eye, “Speak for yourself,” you said, rising to your feet to slip on a stray shirt of his on the floor, “I’m hungry, what’d you make?”
Ran let out a noise of complaint at your words and Rindou shot Ran a rather cocky look as you made your way toward him.
“Eggs,” Rindou said, and you weren’t even sure why you asked because of course it was eggs. You didn’t know if Rindou even knew how to make anything else. As if he could hear your thoughts, Rindou shot you a dark look, challenging you to say something.
You bit your tongue.
You ignored Ran as he continued to voice his irritations, standing up to get dressed while you followed Rindou out of the room. Rindou didn’t speak for a moment, and you eyed him from the corner of your eye, waiting for him to say something but he never did.
It was rather awkward, actually, you nearly winced as the silence continued as the two of you walked toward the kitchen, you could hear Ran following behind the two of you. As the hall opened up into the kitchen, curtains pulled back to let the morning light shine into the room, you shifted on your feet and took a seat at the middle island where Rindou had plated food for the two of you.
“I don’t want to go back to Munich,” you finally said, fork twirling around the scrambled eggs. You could feel both of their eyes on you. “When we leave to travel, I’d rather not go back to Munich but I would like to take you to see Cologne. The Hohenzollern bridge--with all of the locks. I always wanted to do one with the two of you.”
Ran, evidently, knew exactly what you were talking about, lips spreading into a smile, “You’re so cheesy,” he laughed, but his eyes were lit up brightly and you knew he was pleased with your proposal.
“What’s the Hohenzollern bridge?” Rindou’s brows were furrowed as he looked between the two of you and you felt hot when Ran nudged Rindou’s shoulder with his own.
“The love bridge, isn’t she such a cheesy lil romantic?” Ran teased and you bit your bottom lip to smother a giggle when Rindou’s face went bright red at Ran’s words, glancing at you briefly.
“Wh-” he began but you interrupted him before they could continue.
“I’d like to show you Milan too, and Ibiza,” you said, “I think the two of you would enjoy it. There’s supposed to be a fashion show at the Cavallerizze in a few weeks, we could go.”
You looked over at Ran, whose eyes lit up at the prospect, “That sounds-”
“Boring,” Rindou said dryly, Ran glared at him. “After Milan, we should see Rome. Izana always talked about it.”
“Greece too,” Ran added, drawing his gaze from Rindou to look back at you, “You’ve been there, haven’t you? What’s it like?”
You shook your head, “I’ve never been to either,” you said quietly. “Not Rome or Greece, it just…”
It wasn’t something you could handle on your own. Not with all of the reminders of Izana and how things could have been.
“We’ll go see it together, one day maybe we’ll be able to come back to Tokyo and tell him about it,” Ran murmured and your throat felt tight at his words. You placed your fork back down on the plate, staring down.
“Yeah,” you agreed, “I like the sound of that.”
The three of you were quiet for a few moments before you decided to speak up again.
“I wanna go see Geirangerfjord,” you said, leaning back in your seat to glance up at the ceiling as the two of them looked at you. “I had to visit Norway for a business deal once, it was gorgeous, I only got to stay there for a few nights though. Didn’t get to explore.”
“Mucho would’ve liked that,” Rindou said quietly. “Whenever he came over he’d always eye up the travel magazines Mister Ayato had laid out. He stole the one with the Fjords on it.”
You burst into laughter, “Did he really? Mister Ayato was so mad because it was gone before he had a chance to look at it. I told him he probably just misplaced it.”
Rindou grinned, nodding, “I don’t even think he knew I saw him take it, fucker thought he was being sneaky.”
Your hand flew to your mouth, stifling the giggle that bubbled at your lips, remembering just how adamant that Mister Ayato had been about someone taking the magazine, and remembering how you told him he was being crazy about it over and over again when he insisted that he knew just where he left it.
“What about Australia? One of the tours of the outback would be cool,” Rindou asked suddenly after a pause in the conversation.
Ran scoffed, “No fucking way,” he said immediately. “Have you seen the shit that lives there? The snakes, the spiders. There are crocodiles down there, no fucking way.”
Rindou looked irritated, “It would be cool, I want to surf down there too-”
Ran laughed in Rindou’s face, “Oh, so you want to be fed to the sharks too? The spiders and snakes weren’t enough?”
“You’re an ass,” Rindou said.
“And you’re stupid,” Ran said. “You can have fun struggling for your life in Australia, I’ll be visiting Paris while you do that.”
“You’re boring,” Rindou accused. “You never want to do anything fun.”
Ran gaped, offended, “I’m boring?” he demanded. “For not wanting to go to Australia?”
“That’s what I said.”
Ran shot back another comment and you smothered the laugh at your lips, watching the two of them go back and forth, getting increasingly more heated with each jab. A light feeling settled over you, a smile pulling at your lips as you watched Rindou explode on Ran for being lame just like he would when you guys were younger and Ran would prefer to stay in and relax than go out with Rindou when he was bored.
But even as that light feeling grew, a laugh escaping your lips as Ran blanched at one Rindou’s comments, you couldn’t help the odd, foreboding feeling pulling at your gut.
T-MINUS FOUR DAYS.
You yawned as you pushed yourself into a sitting position, stretching and rubbing at your eyes, frowning when you realized that neither Ran nor Rindou were in bed with you. You wondered if you had slept in, but you knew damn well that wasn’t the case--it was four am, the alarm clock on the nightstand next to you shined bright in the dark. Rindou might get up this early to work out, but Ran should certainly be passed out in bed next to you still.
An eerie, unwelcome feeling stirred in your chest.
Did they leave?
No, you told yourself, you knew the thought was ridiculous. They wouldn’t leave, and if they had to go, they would have at least said something to you… right?
You couldn’t help the hesitancy that began to pool in your chest. You bit down on your bottom lip, suddenly very much awake and pushing yourself out of bed. You smoothed down your shirt and glanced around the dark room for just a second before shaking your head and making your way out of it. The hall was equally as dark, only lit up by the dim lighting from the windows of the moon outside.
You let out a weak breath, something felt really, really wrong and you couldn’t quite place what it was.
“... tragedy on Roppongi-dori Ave…”
The news. Your lips twisted down as you made your way down the hall faster, realizing that the two of them must be in the main room near the television. Tragedy on Roppongi-dori but-
“... gas pipe leak explosion-”
A sick feeling brewed in your stomach, vision swimming as you swallowed thickly, trying to force away the memories that were pushing to the forefront of your mind--the heat, the smoke, the screaming. The auction floor and the pavement of the Marienplatz in Munich.
“The TFD has been struggling to get into the building, no expected survivors…”
You stood at the entrance to the main room, lips parted, breath erratic--you felt as if you had just sprinted ten miles, not walked down the hall to the other room. Rindou and Ran were standing in front of the television--Ran’s phone was pressed to his ear and Rindou’s hands were trembling at his sides and you could barely bring yourself to look at the screen, scared of what you might see.
A view from a helicopter, a familiar building, fire and debris.
The penthouse was…
You heard a quiet call of your name, you couldn’t tell if it were Rindou or Ran, everything felt and sounded far away--too far away for you to hope to decipher.
… burning?
You really weren’t sure what exactly you were looking at, but your legs felt weak and your body was shaking and you swore you felt like you were going to pass out. The images on the television just weren’t processing and you couldn’t hear what the news reporter was saying anymore. Your heartbeat thudded painfully in your chest, blood roared in your ears. Everything felt hot and cold at the same time and it felt like someone was pricking a million pins into your body over and over again.
The penthouse was burning.
You weren’t sure when you hit the ground--or you supposed you didn’t, because one minute you were standing staring at the television and the next you were in Ran’s arms and the two of you were crumpled on the carpet. You weren’t sure when you started crying but your vision was unfocused and the massive fire on the television was blurred into shades of a sunset. You were sure that you couldn’t breathe--there was no air getting to your lungs, and your head felt light.
The penthouse was burning.
You could hear Ran’s voice but you could not make out what he was saying. Rindou hadn’t moved from where he was standing in front of the television, staring at it.
Miss Yua and Mister Ayato-
Ran tried to keep his voice relaxing, soothing, he was trying to calm you down but you could hear the waver as he spoke, trying to keep himself together for you and Rindou.
“They must have gotten out,” you tried to say but you could barely force the words out, you weren’t even sure if Ran could understand you, “They must’ve-my uncle, he wouldn’t have-”
He wouldn’t have let this happen, you wanted to say but your voice broke off, taking in a wet inhale, he wouldn’t have let this happen.
Ran’s arms were tight around you, trying to hold you in place, and you knew deep down you shouldn’t be making him strain like this, that it was only going to make his wounds worse but your brain just wasn’t processing correctly.
They must have gotten out, you wanted to scream, your uncle wouldn’t have let this happen if they were in there.
But logically, you knew that your uncle seemed to not be a part of Sugawara’s little inner circle anymore--if he was, he never would have let you go to the auction that night knowing Sugawara was planning an explosion, small or not--and you wondered if his fall from trust was your fault.
“I should have let you push,” Rindou’s voice sounded empty, he wouldn’t turn to look at you or Ran. “I was rushing us to get out of the building. I should have let you push when you told them that they should leave later too.”
Ran was shaking his head, “Rindou, stop. If you hadn’t pushed us, we would’ve died there. And you know damn well Miss Yua wasn’t going to leave the penthouse while Ayato was sick.”
“I should have let you push.”
Ran was talking again, voice rising as he tried to get through to Rindou, but his words sounded jumbled even as he got louder. Your head was spinning, your hearing felt like it was going in and out--anger and hatred overwhelmed the shock--anger at yourself, for not having forced them to leave the penthouse after you guys, anger at Rindou and Ran, because you were certain they had been trying to hide this from you and that’s why they didn’t wake you up, and hatred toward Sugawara, because you knew damn well this was no gas leak.
He was mocking you, mocking what happened in Munich all of those years ago, mocking the coverup, mocking your involvement, his involvement. He destroyed your home, and killed the man and woman who had raised you to make a point and you swore you had never felt this sort of intense, mind-numbing hatred before.
Your teeth ground together so hard as you tried to force back the scream that was bubbling at your lips that you swore they were going to break, nails digging so deep into your forearms that you were drawing blood. You could practically hear him laughing at you, mocking you, ringing in your ears over and over and over and over again.
“You thought you won, didn’t you?”
And the worst part was that you thought you did. You and Rindou and Ran were safe, out of Tokyo and waiting for things to calm down so you could get the fuck out of Japan and you should have known better.
Ran’s grip tightened around you, holding you close to his chest as your distress worsened. You thought he was talking to you again, but you couldn’t quite tell over the ringing in your ears, your thoughts screaming at you and placing the blame heavy on your shoulders--everyone you love dies, tragedy follows you, you should have known this would happen, you should have prepared for it.
You should have known better.
You should have fucking known better.
T-MINUS TWO DAYS.
They weren’t being honest with you. Cross-legged on the bed, you stared at your lap, trying to figure out what you should do. A part of you wondered if this was how they had felt all those years ago when you were pushing them away, how they had felt when you had first shown back up and wouldn’t tell them anything no matter how hard they tried to get answers from you. Another part of you was angry because you thought you were past this--you promised that you wouldn’t hide anything from them anymore, and you had thought that they would show you the same decency.
You supposed you shouldn’t have assumed--your uncle taught you better than to make assumptions, to even take words at face value. But this was Rindou and Ran, and you didn’t think to make sure because of that.
The final part of you wondered if they just couldn’t bring themselves to look at you, and your chest felt heavy. You’d barely seen much of Rindou at all since the night of the fire, despite living under the same roof, and Ran tried to talk to you but the conversations never lasted long.
You supposed it wasn’t their fault--you weren’t exactly making the best conversation either. Every time you tried to speak your tongue felt weighted and your throat felt swollen. You had never handled grief well, and evidently, neither did they.
Logically, you knew it wasn’t anyone’s fault but you felt alone, and every second you spent curled up in the room alone made the tears fall faster and the hole in your chest grow wider. You wanted to scream at Rindou to not leave you alone, and you wanted to apologize to Ran because you knew he was trying and you couldn’t bring yourself to match his attempts and you hated yourself for it.
Your gaze drifted up from your lap to train on your phone, laying in front of you on the bed. Your screen flickered on as you shifted and your throat felt tight when the familiar faces of you, Rindou and Ran stared back at you--younger, happier, more carefree.
You had stolen Mister Ayato’s camera that day--a risky endeavor considering the man kept it on him nearly all the time. It had turned into a big ordeal that had ended with all three of you getting grounded for nearly a month, to your absolute displeasure, but you believed it had been worth it.
A soft smile tugged at your lips as you reached for your phone, unlocking it and clicking onto the photos app, scrolling right to the album where you kept all of the old photos that Mister Ayato had managed to save and send to you in the years after you had left Tokyo.
A heavy feeling settled in your chest as you clicked on the first picture, one that you had taken when the three of you were much younger. Biting down on your bottom lip, you tried to hide the smile as you remembered all the times you would hide around the penthouse, behind couches, in closets, sometimes you’d even camp out beneath their beds--you treated snapping pictures of them like it was a safari, and Ran hated it, the number of times he had thrown shoes and pillows at you when he had realized what you were doing were uncountable.
You were certain you had videos of it somewhere, you vividly remembered trying to take one while the two of them were trying to put together an old puzzle of Mister Ayato’s that they had found stuffed in the back of their closet. They hated puzzles, both of them would much rather spend their time doing other things, but Mister Ayato had made an offhand comment about how the two of them wouldn’t have been able to complete it anyway and the two of them had taken the comment rather personally.
They spent two whole days holed up in their room, trying to put together the puzzle where no one could see them having a hard time with it, and you spent half of one of those days camped out at their doorway, laying on the floor and videoing how awful they were doing because Mister Ayato wanted to see them struggling with it.
“It would be good entertainment,” he had said, handing you the camera that you usually stole from him and sending you off on your way.
Needless to say, Ran had spotted you after you started giggling at his threat to burn the entire puzzle when his frustration peaked. You, consequently, got a shoe to the face and had to sprint to the elevator to try to get away from him when you realized he was giving chase. Ran had always been the fastest of the three of you, but you had gotten lucky and the elevator had shut behind you before he managed to get in there with you.
Given, he still chased you halfway down Roppongi and he did, in fact, manage to catch up to you, but you had still counted it a win on your part, if only temporary.
Your tongue felt swollen as you scrolled to the next picture, eyes sliding shut. Your seventeenth birthday. Your uncle hadn’t shown up even though he had promised--business matters, he had claimed, and you had been bummed. More than bummed, really. He was supposed to have taken you out to your favorite restaurant--a high-end hibachi place in Shibuya--but had bailed at the very last second, leaving you all dressed up and ready to leave, waiting for his car outside of the building.
You had run back inside, of course, embarrassed and upset. Mister Ayato had tried to ask what was wrong but you had fled back to your room and locked the door. Even with the door locked, you could hear Miss Yua shouting at your uncle over the phone while Rindou and Ran lingered at your door, asking you to open up.
You had absolutely no intention of doing so until Miss Yua came to your door, still livid, demanding you to open up. Reluctantly, you had done as told and Miss Yua told you to stop crying--the four of you would be going out instead.
And although it wasn’t your uncle, you were certain you had had more fun that night with them than you ever would have had with your uncle. They had taken you to the very same restaurant that your uncle had been going to take you to, and Rindou and Ran had been way underdressed, and you had gotten a lot of side-eyes because of it but you had fun.
Especially when Shion, Mochi, Mucho and Izana had all shown up.
Your eyes felt glassy as you remembered how Miss Yua rolled her eyes when the four of them arrived--Shion loud as ever and making a scene, Mucho trying to shush him as they got looks from the other restaurant patrons and staff. You were fairly certain they had only shown up for the prospect of a free, nice meal considering they were still in their gang uniforms and Shion’s knuckles had been bloody but they had shown and it was more than you could say for your last remaining blood relative.
They had shown. Shion and Mochi. Mucho and Izana. Miss Yua and Mister Ayato. Ran and Rindou. They had always shown when you needed it most, even now after all these years, the ones that could show still did, even if it meant putting themselves at risk.
You shut your eyes, trying to push away the memories, all of the dark thoughts that began to circle. It wasn’t fair, you wanted to cry. Your parents and your sister. Izana. Mucho. Mister Botan.
It wasn’t fucking fair.
Miss Yua and Mister Ayato.
You pressed your hand to your mouth to muffle the sob you could feel rising to your throat. You didn’t know why you were crying, you were angry. Or you wanted to be at least, you wanted to be angry at Sugawara, you wanted to be angry at whatever god was up there laughing at you, you wanted to be angry at yourself--but guilt and loss consumed you so wholly that you couldn’t think straight, much less be angry.
Miss Yua and Mister Ayato.
Your nails dug into your cheeks as you rocked back and forth on the bed. You had just seen them. You had just seen them less than a week ago. You had said goodbye to Miss Yua before leaving and-
You took in a ragged breath, eyes wide and wild, you hadn’t said goodbye to Mister Ayato.
He had been sleeping, still ill from whatever fever he had, and Miss Yua said to let him rest.
You hadn’t said goodbye to Mister Ayato.
You couldn’t breathe.
This was all your fault, you wanted to scream, cry, but no tears would fall and you weren’t getting enough air in your lungs to take in a deep enough breath to scream. If you hadn’t come back to Tokyo, none of this would be happening.
If you hadn’t come back, Ran wouldn’t have been thrown off at the auction, so he wouldn’t have gotten separated from the others during the explosion and he wouldn’t have been captured. If Ran hadn’t been captured, he wouldn’t have gotten hurt, and you wouldn’t have had to bring him to Miss Yua and Mister Ayato to make sure he survived the night, and there wouldn’t have been a target on their back
This was all your fault.
The words rang in your head over and over and over again. The fire had been on the middle floor. Spread up rapidly. There had been no route of escape for them. They had been sitting ducks stuck in the penthouse waiting for the flames to consume them. You could feel the heat as if you were there--burning through your skin down to the bone, tearing through the flesh and muscle. You could taste the smoke, you could feel it clogging your windpipe and drowning your lungs.
You wondered if the smoke killed them before the fire, but if you knew Miss Yua and Mister Ayato half as well as you thought you did, you were fairly certain that both of them would have rather died at their own hands than succumb to a fate like that.
You choked over nothing, you felt as if the air around you was heavy, dirty. You couldn’t get air to your lungs, and you couldn’t call for Rindou or Ran. Anxiety was gripping at your chest and your phone was buzzing, it was buzzing nonstop but your blurry vision could barely make out the numbers of whoever was sending you a message. And the buzzing was loud, piercing, you couldn’t think straight and it wouldn’t stop. You felt like you were going crazy.
Gasping for air, clutching your chest, you clicked on the message, praying to god that it was Mina, or Takuya, or even Ran or Rindou--trying to convince yourself that maybe they had been too lazy to walk in here and wanted to know what you wanted for dinner.
You clicked on the message.
You realized too late that the number was unfamiliar, that it was not Mina or Takuya or Rindou or Ran, and instead you were met with a picture, one that your mind just couldn’t comprehend. You stared at your phone, chest heaving--you still couldn’t breathe, you could barely think, your vision was blurred but not enough to obscure the picture, the blood and the gore and the threat that accompanied it.
Is that…
A pair of arms grabbed you, pulling you into a familiar, firm chest while another hand grabbed at your phone, pulling it away from you.
“Hey,” Rindou murmured, lips near your ear as he held you close, trying to calm you down. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”
But his words went in one ear out the other, you couldn’t bring yourself to calm down, you couldn’t breathe, you were inhaling nonexistent smoke, you were bathing in invisible flames, doused in ice water, you felt knives carving your skin down to the bone.
You could hear Ran frantically trying to talk to Rindou, who was more focused on trying to get you to settle down--meeting, Sanzu, Bonten, Mikey, no option. You stared ahead blankly, body trembling, your tongue felt swollen in your mouth, you couldn’t speak, and you couldn’t move. Rindou was tapping your cheeks, trying to get your attention, you couldn’t even bring yourself to focus on him.
… Shion and Mochi?
---
T-MINUS 0.
They were gone.
You sat in the safe house alone and numb. The air conditioning was cranked up too high but you couldn’t bring yourself to stand up and lower it, and you couldn’t force yourself to your feet to go put on some warmer clothes. You sat huddled in the living room in front of the dark television, staring ahead waiting for them to come back.
Your parents. Your sister. Izana. Mucho. Mister Botan. Miss Yua. Mister Ayato. Shion. Mochi.
The list kept growing. Their names rang on repeat in your head over and over and over again. A mantra of death you couldn’t escape. You wondered who would be next. Four dead in a matter of two days. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Anxiety clawed at your chest, nails scraping down your face and wrapping around your neck, preventing any air from reaching your lungs. Every second you were separated from Ran and Rindou had your skin crawling, like you were placed in a pit with a million ants, all moving around and on top of you.
Would they be next?
Your body shuddered, you inhaled sharply.
You couldn’t think that.
You needed them to come back. Rindou had said they’d try not to get too caught up at the meeting, that they wouldn’t have even gone if the situation didn’t demand it, but Ran had only shook his head, telling you that they couldn’t promise to be back soon--sometimes the meetings lasted hours.
It had already been two hours, and there was no sign of either of them coming back anytime soon. They had promised to call when they got the chance, but hadn’t yet, and you couldn’t help the way you stared at your phone, waiting uneasily for a call that might not come for a long time.
What if Sugawara pinpointed Bonten’s hideout?
What if they were caught on the way to the meeting?
What if they were caught on the way back?
Endless possibilities circulated through your head, each worse than the last--captured, tortured, dead. Captured, tortured, dead. Captured, tortured, dead.
Your breath was shaky. Your vision blurry. You felt weak, scared, angry.
God, you were fucking angry.
And then your phone was buzzing--ringing, a call.
You scrambled forward, fumbling with the phone and pressing accept before you even checked who it was.
“Ran?” you asked, “Rin?”
“Y/n, I need you to listen to me carefully.”
Your vision wobbled and tunneled onto the ground when you realized it was not Rindou or Ran on the opposite line, your head felt light.
“Uncle Ichirou?” you hated how your voice wavered, how your nerves made your fingers tremble so badly that you nearly dropped your phone. “Wh-”
You wanted to ask what he wanted but you were scared because you knew damn well he wasn’t going to be bringing you any good news. His tone was sharp, and firm, and cold, trying to keep your attention steady on him, and all of your fears were proven true as he spoke again--the entire world crashing around you in one fell blow.
“Kenji has Terano Minami and Yamamoto Takuya.”
--
wordcount: 6.5k
REBLOGS N FEEDBACK HIGHLY APPRECIATED
— pls do not nitpick tiny mistakes or whatever, i’d like feedback on plot/character development. i vm struggled to have this out on time i literally finished it 10 min before posting
taglist pt 2 @zekeslefttit @si-vis-amari-ama-3-2-1 @akinokisetsu @violetdrkside @itsleroyposts @sureconfused @jiminjamms @chramz @bontensbabygirl @voiceofnoreturn @himeril @vixemi @regateee @aces-high @fuyuus @waawaa33 @s-enku @denki-slut @kisuchiyo @katsvgou @crackheadwithtoes @keijisprettygirl @strawberypillows @cloudsz04 @animepickle7 @blvebcrry @tomiokachan23 @who-tf-is-bucky @sk-emmeris @xscubie @edens-pen @alstroemaerias @chloee0x0 @user0516 @wakasa-wifey @fandomsinthegalaxies @the-psyco-simp @maboiisuga @rans-baby @hnm-mika @continetalflower @aylitgirl @magentaviolette @euryale16 @smexyair @bontenacious @jiminie-08 @fallensuguru @qiaipia @tokyometronetwork @kurumi-4 @crown5 @yamaguccitadashi
when people leave hate and then block authors when they respond it's borderline comical to me because like,, make it make sense
when you break up (pt. 2)
a/n we're still 2 minus 1 by seventeen for inspo teehee. s/o to @winterv-black for requesting ♡
tw // breaking up, angst, yandere-ish in zana's
IZANA
"I thought you were the one, didn't need any other"
he really thought you guys were it, and so did you but his obsession with mikey became too much
"I'm just saying that maybe he isn't who you think he is!" "and maybe you're not who I thought you were"
post-breakup his obsession with mikey almost completely fades, turning all of his attention to you
ironic since that's all you wanted while you were together
"how can you be so fine when I'm two minus one"
he knew your schedule like the back of his hand so it wasn't hard at all to track you down
but he only watched from a distance as you moved on and he was in the same place, without you
KOKONOI
"all the feelings we had were not worth much to you at all"
he repeated that line in his head, trying to make you the villain when he knew it was his fault things fell apart
"love is so blinding"
his love for akane never faded so you had to move on even though he thought everything was going great
his love blinded him to the reality of your failing relationship because he wasn't seeing you
he didn't realize what had happened until he came back home to an empty penthouse
"babe stop playing, I don't have time to play these games"
but when he was met with silence, he knew what he had done
he eventually picks himself back up though, continuing to date other women but now it was your love that blinded him continuing the vicious cycle that he could never seem to break free from
LITTLE DARK AGE
haitani ran x fem!reader x haitani rindou
summary: eight years later, you finally return to tokyo and find yourself caught in the middle of a violent gang war between the two most ruthless criminal organizations of tokyo’s underworld, forced to choose between blood and love.
genre: bonten timeskip, angst, forbidden romance, childhood friends -> strangers -> lovers, 18+ MDNI
warnings: fem!reader, gang violence, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, explicit smut, polyamory, profanity, MCD, unedited, MTBA
chapter warnings: explicit smut, threesome, oral (m->f), unprotected sex, sub!reader, rindou a lil rough, neither of them can shut their mouths, dumbification
previous chapter -> masterlist -> next chapter
CHAPTER ⅩⅣ. MY ATLANTIS
EIGHT YEARS EARLIER.
They weren’t supposed to be here. You specifically had not told them when your flight was to avoid this confrontation, you had successfully evaded them for the past two days--since you had told them what you were planning to do--you had thought you had done it, that you had managed to escape Tokyo without having to face them. No matter how much you would have regretted it later, it wasn’t worth risking them convincing you to stay.
And you knew they would be able to if given the chance.
“Hey! We said ‘hold on,’” Ran’s voice was loud, sharp and even though you knew you should keep moving forward, away from them, your body refused to cooperate. You stopped still midstep in the large entrance of the airport, your chest felt heavy and your breath was slow. Everything around you started tunneling.
You could hear them approaching you from behind, everything except their footsteps and the muttered curses sounded dull and muted. Run, you told yourself, your body was tense, all fight or flight were activated as they drew closer. Run, they won't be able to chase you through security.
But you couldn’t bring yourself to move. Your feet were glued to the ground and by the time you thought you would be able to bring yourself to move, a hand was already wrapped tight around your wrist, tugging you around. You turned your gaze to the ground, staring at two familiar pairs of shoes in front of you.
“Well I don’t blame you for not being able to look at us,” Ran said spitefully, his voice somehow both soothing and grating to your ears at the same time, “but I think we deserve to be fully acknowledged, don’t you?”
You tore your gaze up from the floor, reluctantly looking up at them. Your eyes met Ran’s first, catching sight of the livid look in his eyes and the way his jaw was clenched tight. Your gaze darted away, but looking at Rindou was no better--instead of anger, you were faced with a sort of hurt expression that you weren’t quite sure you had ever seen on his face before.
Guilt weighed heavy on your chest, you felt as if the weight of the sky had been thrown onto your shoulders. Your lips parted to speak but you weren’t even sure what you wanted to say, so you ended up letting out a soft sigh and pressing your lips together again. Ran scoffed, as if he had been expecting you to do that.
“What the fuck, y/n?” Rindou spoke quieter, not as angry as Ran was. You could hear the way it cracked and you could hear the way he strained to get his words out.
“I don’t know what the big deal is,” you finally said, ignoring the fury that washed across Ran’s face at your words. “I told you I’d keep in touch.”
“You don’t know what the big deal is?” Ran hissed as he took another step toward you and your feet wouldn’t cooperate to move away from him, only able to tilt your face up to look up at him. “You only told us what was happening two fucking days ago, and then you avoided us every time we tried to talk to you. You weren’t even going to let us say goodbye.”
You swore the words hit you like knives to the chest. It’s for the best, you tried to convince yourself even though you knew damn well deep down that you were wrong.
They would have convinced you to stay, the stubborn part of you screamed at the part that wavered under Ran’s words. You know that. Your family. Izana. Mucho. Mister Botan. Nearly Terano.
Who would be next?
You couldn’t risk it. You couldn’t risk it.
It was only a matter of time before someone else died, and you wouldn’t let it be them. You had to leave--your uncle had given you two options, attend university to jumpstart the process of your own company or wait to inherit Izanagi. You had to start standing on your own two feet. You had to. Until you were confident that you’d be able to protect them without your uncle’s help, it wasn’t safe for you to be around.
Because even if the curse wasn’t real, you were still a real danger to them. Your uncle was neck deep in Tokyo’s underworld, he made tons of enemies abroad with his aggressive expansionist strategy for Izanagi--you had been targeted just a few months ago as a means to get to him and you couldn’t let Rindou and Ran get caught in the crossfire of that.
And they wouldn’t understand. You knew they wouldn’t understand. They’d never understand because they didn’t care about their own safety when it came to yours, they’d throw themselves on the blade for you at any given second if it meant you would be safe and you couldn’t let them do that.
They’d tell you to stay, they’d tell you that inheriting Izanagi from your uncle was the best move if it meant that the three of you got to stick together. They’d tell you ‘fuck the danger, we can take anything together’ but you knew you couldn’t. They didn’t even know half of the danger that came along with you and your uncle, and they didn’t understand that just being big delinquents on the streets of Roppongi was not the same as dealing with the ruthless business tycoons and oligarchs that could order their deaths with a wave of their hand and pocket change.
You didn’t even fully understand it yet, your uncle never was honest when you questioned him about it, he gave you non-answers or diversions, telling you to focus on building a foundation for your company before anything else.
You couldn’t risk it. You were doing what was right.
“You guys would have tried to convince me to stay,” you finally said, and you hated how your voice cracked, and how you still couldn’t meet either of their eyes. You hated even more how Ran noticed and how his hand shot out to curl around your jaw, tilting your face up to force you to look him in the eye.
“Of course, we would have,” Ran snapped, “We don’t want you to fucking leave-”
“I can’t let you guys hold me back,” your voice was loud as you interrupted him. Ran drew back as if he had been slapped, his hand dropping from your face. Rindou’s lips parted. Your heart sank from your chest to your feet, the air around you felt suffocating. You could feel the eyes of strangers on the three of you, judging. You wanted to swallow your own tongue, you wanted the ground to eat you whole.
“I didn’t mean that,” you said, voice little over a breath as you shook your head, “I didn’t mean that.”
Ran let out a shaky breath, nodding as he took a step away from you, “Yeah,” he agreed, “I bet you didn’t.”
Ran was now the one that couldn’t meet your eyes and your gaze swiveled to Rindou desperately, “Rin,” you tried but Rindou refused to look at you, staring down at the ground in front of him.
“Flight 404 to Munich will begin boarding in thirty minutes,” a woman said over the speakers, the words making your ears ring.
“You should go,” Rindou finally said, “That’s your flight, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Ran spoke as if he was trying to be snide and snappy, but you could tell it was only to try to cover the way your words had struck deep. You could see the hurt swimming in his eyes, the way he swallowed thickly. You could hear the underlying pain in his voice. “Wouldn’t want us to hold you back.”
You shook your head, you could feel tears pooling in your eyes and you tried to force them away because you knew you had no right to cry, “I didn’t mean it like that,” you said again, “I-I have to do this. You don’t understand-”
“Of course, we don’t understand,” Rindou’s voice was sharper than it had ever been with you, your throat squeezed, “We don’t understand because you don’t fuckin’ tell us anything anymore. Help us understand, we want to understand.”
Rindou stared at you, waiting for you to say something but when you stayed silent, he only scoffed. But what the fuck were you supposed to say to them? How could you make them understand that you were doing this for them? For Izana? For the rest of your friends? They would never be able to come to terms with you doing this on your own but you knew them being with you and trying to help would only make things harder on you.
If you did this alone, you would get it done faster--you’d be able to be with them, and be happy again, sooner. There would be fewer risks to consider, less things for people to try to use against you.
You would get back to them faster. You were doing the right thing.
“Yeah,” Rindou said when you didn’t speak, sharing a look with Ran that only the two of them could decipher. “That’s what I thought.”
“I-I’m going to school,” you said, and you knew you had to leave. You couldn’t miss your flight, but you didn’t want to leave them--not like this. Why the fuck did they come? “I’m going to school, and when I’m at school, I’m going to be setting up my company. Once everything is settled, I’ll come back--or I’ll even bring you there with me, show you everything. I promise.”
“Why can’t you do that here?” Rindou demanded, taking a step closer to you, “Why the fuck do you have to go across the world to do that?”
“That-” That wasn’t your choice, that was your uncle’s, he was adamant about you going to a foreign university, and he was refusing to help you if you didn’t. And you had a feeling that he wanted you to go across the world to do it because he knew damn well that Rindou and Ran would be distractions. “My uncle-”
“Of course,” Rindou shook his head, there was a smile on his lips that didn’t meet his eyes, “Of fucking course.”
“Stop it,” you said, voice cracking, “I didn’t want this to happen-”
“This was your choice,” Rindou hissed, leaning in so close that it had you dizzy, “Your fucking choice, don’t talk about how you didn’t want this to happen. You chose this.”
“I don’t want to fight,” you said loudly, “I don’t want to fight, why can’t you just believe me when I say I’m doing what’s best? When have I ever-”
“Lied to us? A lot,” Rindou said dryly, and you flinched back.
“When have I ever let you guys down?” you finished quietly and the anger on Rindou’s face faded as he looked back at Ran again, “Please just trust me.”
Neither of them spoke, and you let out another shaky breath, squeezing your eyes shut for a moment to try to push away the tears. Did they not trust you anymore?
Could you blame them?
But then Rindou’s shoulders dropped, he looked away, and you knew he had given in and this time you couldn’t blink back the tears. You let your bag drop to the floor as you moved toward the two of them, burying your face in Rindou’s chest and wrapping your arms around his waist. Neither of them reacted for a moment until you felt Rindou’s hand come up to hold the back of your head, cradling it to his chest, and you bit back a sob as your arms tightened around his waist, trying to bask in his warmth for as long as you could.
“You promise?” Ran’s voice was hoarse as he finally spoke. You nodded against Rindou but Ran only spoke up again, “Say it.”
“I promise,” you agreed, “I promise, I promise as soon as I can I’ll bring you there with me, I promise.”
Ran inhaled deeply through his nose before tugging you toward him and your arms dropped from Rindou as you flung yourself at Ran, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He pressed his face into your neck and you tried to ignore how his lashes were wet against your skin.
“I’m going to miss you guys so much,” you took in a wet breath, body trembling, “So much, so much.”
You could stay there forever wrapped up in their arms--you didn’t care that people were around watching, you didn’t care that this would get back to your uncle and he would be irritated at your little display of emotion, all you cared about was them, and being with them, staying with them.
You didn’t want to leave.
“Flight 404 to Munich will begin boarding in twenty minutes.”
The words felt like knives scraping down your bones, dragging you right back to reality. Ran’s arms dropped from around your waist and your feet touched the ground again, standing in front of them. You wiped away the tears as best as you could.
“You’ll call?” Rindou asked quietly, and you dragged your gaze up to meet his, catching the reluctance and the longing thinly veiled beneath his eyes.
“Every day,” you promised, nodding frantically, “Every day.”
“... and you won’t forget about us?” there was something vulnerable in Ran’s voice that you had never quite heard before from him, even with all the years you spent with them. You looked up at him, violet eyes meeting yours, and you shook your head.
“Never,” you said, “Never in a million years. I could never forget about you guys.”
He let out a breath that you didn’t even notice he was holding, nodding his head toward security. “You better go,” he said quietly, “Still gotta get through security.”
And you knew you had to, but you couldn’t get your feet to cooperate, they felt glued to the ground in front of them. “I-I’ll call you while we’re boarding. And when I land. And when I get to campus. And-”
“We get it,” Ran’s lips pulled up into a small smile for the first time in days, weeks maybe. “Go.”
Your fingers trembled at your side, you wrapped your arms around your torso, “I love you guys,” you said, “It’s gonna suck without you.”
Ran glanced back down at the ground.
“We love you too,” Rindou murmured, a strange tone to his voice, “you’ve gotta go. You’re going to miss your flight.”
You nodded, you knew he was right, and it took all your will power to turn around and pick up the bag you dropped. You stood there for a moment, facing the short line to security. And you debated turning back around, taking one last look.
You won’t leave. You knew if you turned around you’d see them standing there, and you knew it was only a matter of time before that strong facade the two of them put up would crumble, and you knew if you saw you wouldn’t be going anywhere, you’d run right back into their arms.
You shut your eyes briefly before walking toward security, trying your best to take even breaths in and out, trying your best to keep your shoulders from shaking.
One foot in front of the other, you got this, you thought to yourself as you placed your bag on top of the baggage scanner. You stood there for a moment, lost in your own thoughts until the airport security called out to you sharply, waving you over to the metal detector.
One foot in front of the other.
You were doing what was best.
This was only temporary.
But you couldn’t stop the dark, heavy feeling from settling over you with each step you took away from them. A sort of foreboding feeling that made you think that things would not be as simple as you wanted them to be.
---
PRESENT.
Relentless. They were absolutely relentless and you could not keep up. Even having expected this from them, it still didn’t prepare you for actually trying to deal with them. They barely even gave you time to speak--one of them would lean in close and ask a question, and the other would hop on top of it to badger you with even more.
“Aw, that’s so adorable, you’ve liked us for that long?”
“Who did you like first? I bet it was me.”
“It was Rindou, wasn’t it? I caught you drooling over him once.”
“No shit, did you really?”
“He did not-”
“I did, do you remember that night we dragged her to Maharaja?”
“Ran-”
“Really? That night?”
“Mhm.”
“Have you ever had dreamt about us?”
You shot Ran a weird look, "Of course I've dreamt about you guys," you said, not entirely sure of what he was getting out, "Don't be stupid."
"No, no," Rindou snorted behind you as Ran spoke. "That's not what I meant."
You stared ahead blankly for a moment, trying to figure out what the question hidden behind his words was, and as soon as it hit you, you swore you wanted to sink into the bed and disappear--the two of them laughing once they realized you had put it together.
You felt like you were on fire as you turned your head to the side to look at Ran, not sure you had heard him correctly, which was evidently a mistake considering how close he was leaning to you. Your breath caught as you tried to lean back away from him but his eyes were alight with a sort of mischief that you hadn’t seen in years as he followed you, unperturbed, only leaning in closer.
His lips were barely a hair’s width from yours and you couldn’t breathe, and you couldn’t move any further back because you had scrambled right back into Rindou, who wrapped an arm loosely around your waist to hold you still. Your eyes flickered down to Ran’s lips, watching as they slowly curled up into a smile that had your blood running hot.
“We’re just curious,” Rindou murmured, and a shiver shot down your spine when his lips brushed your ear, “C’mon, the least you can do is entertain us, yeah?”
And you really stuck between a rock and a hard place because of course you had, you couldn’t control what you dreamt of at night and you had been attracted to them--if you lied, they would know anyway because you knew damn well they’d be able to read right through you. And that would only make it worse on you for trying to hide it from them.
Why were they like this? You wanted to grab them both by the shoulders and shake them, rattle their tiny brains inside their head until they see sense. Now was not the time to be fucking around, now was not the time to be trying to get you flustered and unfooted but you knew from the way they kept sharing looks with each other that they wouldn’t listen.
“Should we take the silence as a yes, Rindou?” Ran almost giggled as he tilted his head to the side, letting his lips graze your jaw.
“If she’s not gonna admit it, I say we just leave her like this.” Your head snapped to the side at Rindou’s words, eyes meeting his. He raised his eyebrows mockingly, “What? You don’t want that?”
Ran snickered and your breath caught as his lips finally pressed firmly against the underside of your jaw, lips dragging down your neck--slow, wet, heavy--it felt like he was leaving a trail of burns in his wake with each kiss and you just couldn’t think straight. They should not have this much of an effect over you, it was just Rindou and Ran but as you tried to shake your head and tell them just how ridiculous they were being, Rindou’s hands slid down your body, the pads of his fingers pressing against your inner thigh, nudging your thighs apart.
“Rindou-” you gasped, looking back at him again but you faltered when you noticed the grin on his lips and the way his eyes were lit up. “We shouldn’t, not now-”
You felt Ran’s hand come up to your face as he pulled away from your neck, cupping your cheek softly and forcing you to look at him. His face was more serious than it was previously, and you couldn’t help but hesitate.
“Relax,” he murmured. “You’re right, and we know we’re not safe yet, but we are right now, even if not for long. This might be our only chance.”
You swallowed thickly, “Don’t say that,” you said quietly, “There’ll be plenty-”
“You know as well as we do that there are no assurances in our line of work, especially in situations like this. For all we know tomorrow we’ll be back on the run,” and your throat felt dry because you knew Ran was right. “We’ve gotta take advantage of moments like this.”
Rindou and Ran shared a look over your shoulder, and you shut your eyes, trying to figure out what to do. You wanted them you’ve always fucking wanted them, but you were scared. And you weren’t even sure why you were scared. They wanted you, you wanted them, it’s something that all of you had wanted for so fucking long and Ran was right, your futures were still uncertain--tonight you were safe, tomorrow might not bring the same assurances.
With that thought in mind and shaky fingers, you leaned in to press your lips against Ran’s again. Ran let out a surprised hum against yours as if he hadn’t been expecting you to give in that easy, hand sliding down to cup your neck, fingers intertwined with your hair. You brought your own hand down to where Rindou’s was resting on your thigh, moving it back to where it had been on your inner thigh.
Your hands slid up to rest on Ran’s shoulders, nails digging into his skin as he pressed closer to you, tongue darting out to swipe against your bottom lip. Your lips parted on instinct for him, eyes fluttering shut as he pushed his tongue into your mouth, pressing down on yours.
You let out a soft moan into his mouth as Rindou’s fingers slipped down even further, pressing against your clothed cunt before you felt him grab your hips, smiling against your neck.
“Ran,” he said, and Ran pulled back and you tried to follow him but you faltered, yelping as Rindou lifted your hips off the bed, giving Ran the room to slide your pants off your body before placing you back down on the bed between his legs. You tried to snap your thighs together but Rindou’s hands were back on your thighs in an instant, keeping them spread open.
“Rin,” you said sharply, eyes wide.
“Relax,” Rindou echoed Ran’s words, and your breath caught as Ran dipped down lower between your legs, soft strands of hair brushing your inner thighs. “Hurry up or we’re switching places.”
“Shut up,” Ran murmured, “wanna take my time with her.”
You swore your heart was in your throat as you watched him, nose grazing the thin cloth of your panties as he pressed a kiss to your inner thigh, Rindou’s fingers digging into your skin to keep you in place.
“Yeah, well, I want a taste too,” Rindou’s voice was irritated, muffled against your skin.
Ran rolled his eyes, “You’ll get your taste, stop bitchin’.”
They spoke to each other as if you weren’t there and it was pissing you off but every time you tried to move, or say something, Rindou’s grip would just tighten and they would speak over you.
“Stop fucking around,” you snapped, getting fed up.
Ran and Rindou both went quiet, Ran looked up at you through his lashes, violet eyes dark and lidded, “You’re so impatient,” he chided. “... Have half a mind not to give you what you want.”
Your scowl deepened, “Then don’t,” you challenged, staring down at Ran, who met your gaze, eyes just as heated as yours were.
After a moment, he scoffed, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek before he shook his head, letting out a huff of laughter. “You’re a piece of work,” he muttered before his jaw clenched tight as he all but ripped your panties down off your legs.
Your eyes shot open in surprise, instinctively trying to shut your legs again but Rindou was once again prying them open and his grip was too strong for you to try to fight against it. Your face was hot in embarrassment as Ran eyed your now bare cunt intently, as if trying to figure out what exactly he wanted to do.
“Ran,” your voice was weaker now, it edged on pleading. You hated it. “Stop lookin’ at me like that.”
“I’ll look at you however I want to, thought you wanted me to stop fucking around,” Ran responded immediately, not drawing his eyes up in the slightest. “You’ve got the prettiest pussy, I knew you would. Imagined it all the time.”
Rindou rested his chin on your shoulder, looking down to watch as Ran’s fingers brushed your cunt, gathering some slick before rubbing a feather-light circle over your clit. Your body shuddered in response to the touch, hips trying to jerk up against his hand.
Rindou hummed softly at the way your body reacted before one of his hands slid to your chin, turning your face to his to press his lips to yours. His hand shifted to your neck, holding it firmly as he deepened the kiss, teeth nearly clashing against yours.
His kiss was different from Ran’s--a bit rougher but just as intense, one of your hands came up to grasp the wrist of the hand wrapped around your neck. His grip tightened as you tried to pull back to breathe, keeping you in place. You felt dizzy, and you weren’t sure if it was because you weren’t getting any air to your lungs or if it were just because of the situation.
Maybe both, you realized, inhaling sharply as Ran finally ducked his head down between your legs. You tensed, whimpering against Rindou’s lips as Ran licked a long stripe between your folds, the tip of his tongue swirling around your clit before he pulled back again.
“Taste as good as I imagined too,” you could practically hear the wolfish grin on his face as he spoke before he dove right back between your legs, large hands curling around your thighs to keep your legs spread as Rindou let go of your other leg, letting his hand slide up your body beneath your shirt, palming one of your breasts in his hand as his lips left yours to start trailing down your neck.
Your jaw went half-slack as Ran buried his face in your cunt, nose nudging your clit as he dragged his tongue along your slit. Your free hand flew to your mouth, trying to hold back the cry that almost escaped your lips but Ran let go of one of your thighs to grab your wrist, pinning it down to the bed next to you.
Your hips instinctively tried to grind up against his face, thighs squeezing his head, but Ran brought his forearm down on your lower stomach in response, pinning your hips from moving.
“Don’t hide from us,” Rindou murmured against your skin, and your eyes fluttered shut as his teeth grazed your skin before he bit down, pulling a moan from your throat. “Gonna make you feel good.”
A broken gasp escaped your lips as Ran let out a low groan against your cunt, your eyes shot open as you tried to calm your erratic breathing. Ran was undeterred even as you tried to squirm away again, the pleasure hitting you too hard and too fast for you to control--he pressed his face deeper into your cunt, tongue tracing circles between your folds, flicking over your clit, fucking in and out of you. Through a hazy gaze, you could see the way he was trying to grind his hips against the mattress, desperate for any sort of friction. Rindou’s fingers were pinching gently at your nipples, teeth carelessly biting down against your skin but you could only focus on the rising heat pooling in your lower stomach.
“Ran,” you sobbed--you felt overwhelmed already, you wondered if this was how people felt when they teamed up on their enemies together. They were moving too fast for you to keep up, their hands were everywhere, playing with your body like it was some sort of instrument that only they knew how to play. Your head felt fuzzy and your body was shaking, “Ran, I-”
Rindou bit down again. Hard this time. Your eyes knocked back white for a second, a sharp cry escaping your lips.
“Pay attention to me,” Rindou said so coldly that it had you reeling, but you couldn’t concentrate with the feeling of Ran between your thighs, playing with your clit with his tongue, the wet, sloppy sounds of him tongue fucking your cunt was all that was running through your head. Rindou’s words went in one ear, out the other and it only made him even more angry. “I said-”
Ran’s teeth grazed your clit as Rindou spoke, and you were sure that he did it on purpose if the huff of laughter he let out was anything to say about it as another loud, high-pitch moan of his name resounded through the room. You reached down with one hand to tug at the short, purple strands of hair--you weren’t sure if you were trying to pull him off or press him closer.
Everything felt hazy and foggy, you couldn’t tell whose hands were whose, you couldn’t tell what Rindou was saying but you knew he was getting more and more annoyed with each passing second, your vision was blurred with tears and your head felt hot. Your entire body felt like it was on fire and you knew you should be embarrassed by how your moans were becoming increasingly loud, by how your body strained against Ran’s arm, grinding up against his face as you pushed him down even more with your hand, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to care.
Ran’s tongue worked like magic, quick and efficient movements that had you getting pushed to the brink too, too fast. Heat shot through your abdomen, your thighs tensed around his head. You could get addicted, you were sure of it, eyes rolling back as he sucked your clit into his mouth.
“I’m ‘nna cum,” you cried, “Ran, Ran-“
Rindou’s grip on your waist was borderline painful as your back arched against his chest, body spasming as one last swirl of his tongue around your clit had you spiraling right over the edge. Your thighs tightened around Ran’s head, letting out a loud, shaky cry of his name as you came all over his tongue, body trembling in Rindou’s arms.
You gasped for breath, head spinning as you tried to recover but Rindou did not give you the chance. He hauled you up, forcing you to your hands and knees. Your arms were too shaky to hold yourself up, chest falling flat against the mattress. You turned your head to the side as best as you could, trying to look back at Rindou but he fisted your hair hard, pressing your face back down into the mattress.
“Don’t be so rough with her. It’s not her fault that she couldn’t focus on you. Maybe you should’ve done more,” Ran chided, though he sounded amused as slapped Rindou’s hand off of your head. You felt his hands cup your chin, lifting your face up far more gently than Rindou’s grip had been. His fingers stroked your cheekbone for a moment, and you couldn’t help the way you leaned into his touch, eyes fluttering shut. “You pissed him off,” he murmured, “You know how he gets when he doesn’t get attention--he’s always been sensitive about it.”
“Fuck you, Ran.”
“Huh?” was all you could say as you forced your eyes back open to look at him, brows furrowed as you tried to process what he said but you still felt half-out of it. “R-”
Your voice faltered when you felt the tip of Rindou’s cock nudge against your entrance, a whimper muffled at your lips as he slowly began to push in, your head fell limp again, face resting in Ran’s lap.
“Oh god,” you gasped. Rindou was big, bigger than anyone else you’d ever slept with, you could feel every inch of him molding your walls. He stretched you out in a way that you’d never been before, your walls burned with each inch he pushed inside you, and you couldn’t tell if it was a sort of burn that hurt or if it was a pleasant one. Your body trembled violently as you tried to adjust to his size. “Oh god, Rin, gimme a sec, gim-”
Rindou did not, in fact, give you a second, and you were sure he did it just to be spiteful, hips snapping against your ass to bury his cock as deep inside you as possible. Your lips parted in a silent cry, face pressed against Ran’s sweats as he stroked your hair gently, as if trying to soothe you.
You took in a ragged breath, body tense, fingers curling around the sheets as you tried to adjust to his size but Rindou once again did not give you the chance, already drawing his hips back to drive his cock into you. The moan that left your lips was absolutely obscene, nails ripping through the thin sheets, sobbing against Ran.
He fucked you at a pace that shouldn’t have been possible. Your fingers shook around the sheets, chest heaving but every heavy thrust stole all of the breath from your lungs, each in-and-out of his cock had you reeling, barely able to think straight. Rindou’s fingers dug into your hips, dragging you back to meet every thrust as he fucked you onto him, hitting inside you so deep that you swore it had your vision spotty. You think you’ve cum already, but you aren’t even sure--it certainly felt like you did, your body was shaking in the aftershocks of what seemed to have been an orgasm but you didn’t even remember the build up to it, you didn’t even remember finishing again.
You tried to look up at Ran, eyes teary, but his gaze were dark and lidded as he watched you, an expression on his face that you couldn’t quite decipher before Rindou was shifting positions.
His hand moved up from your waist to your hair, pulling you up hard and you winced, dizzy, mind numb. His hand dropped from your hair to curl around your neck to hold you up, back pressed against his chest. He didn’t falter in his pace once, hips snapping against yours, the lewd sound of skin slapping on skin, the sloppy sound of his cock bullying deep in your cunt ringing in your ears. Filthy, it was all filthy, you should be embarrassed by the noises escaping your lips, by the way your body was reacting to Rindou, by the way you kept begging for more when he was already giving you all he had.
He turned your head to the side and pressed his lips against yours, tongues sliding against each others’, teeth clashing. His other hand slid down your body, rubbing circles on your clit, and the moans you were letting out into his mouth were becoming louder, needier, your blood was running hot and your head felt light.
“Feel so fuckin’ good, god, love you s’much,” Rindou groaned against your lips, “C’mon, wanna feel you cum on my cock again.”
And those words were all you needed to send you spiraling again, crying out loud against his lips, body thrashing against his as he held you in place, continued playing with your clit, fucking you through your high. You felt him pull away, leaning his head back to let out a low moan when your walls squeezed and fluttered around him.
You could feel his hips stutter against yours as your body went limp in his hold, slumping forward, only held up by the hand wrapped around your neck and the other went still rubbing slow circles over your clit. Ran was saying something to Rindou as he spilled his cum deep inside you, filling you up so full that his cum was leaking out of your cunt even with his cock plugging you up.
You fell unmoving against the bed when Rindou groaned and pulled out of you. Your body shuddered, thighs shaking and cum pooling beneath you as it spilled out of you, making a mess on the bed beneath you. You tried to steady your breath, gather the strength to push up from the puddle of cum to retain some sort of control but you couldn’t find the strength in your limbs to do it. Your arms and legs felt like noodles, your mind wasn’t even fully there.
“C’mon now,” you heard Ran murmur distantly. “Don’t tap out on us yet.”
You felt an arm wrap around your bicep and in one swift motion, you were pulled on top of Ran. You were unsteady and weak, barely able to hold yourself up but you didn’t need to--instead, two strong hands grabbed you by the waist, holding you up right.
Your vision was dizzy as you looked down at him, his lips crawled up into a slow smirk as he looked up at you through his lashes. You let out a whimper when you felt his cock slide between your folds, slipping against the mess Rindou made of your pussy, lips parting as his tip caught your clit, pressing softly against it.
“Want you to ride me,” Ran said quietly. “Can you do that for me, pretty?”
You felt hot at the pet name and you tried to focus on what he was asking you. Want you to ride me, he had said and you took in a shaky breath, hesitant because you weren’t sure if you could handle another orgasm. Your head and body felt fuzzy, as if you were on the verge of passing out, pins and needles pricking your limbs, breath heavy and slow. They had made you cum too many times, too quick and Ran wanted more.
“I-I dunn-” you began but, much like his brother, Ran didn’t give you the chance to answer his question, pressing the tip of his cock against your entrance.
“She can take it,” Rindou said, and your eyes were wide as you looked back at him, lips parted to try to snap something at him but whatever words were on your lips died as Ran bucked his hips up, pushing his cock inside of you.
You tried to do as he asked--thighs tense and trembling as you attempted to rock your hips against his, fuck yourself on his cock, but you were slow. It was too slow for you and evidently too slow for Ran if the sharp click of his tongue had anything to say about it.
His hands came to your waist, fingers pressing into your skin as he took over, too impatient to let you take your pace.
You couldn’t do anything but let Ran do what he wanted, limp and unable to fight back even if you wanted to--almost like a doll for him to use for whatever he wants. Your moans cut off as he bounced you easily on his cock, biceps flexing with each movement--he was longer than Rindou, hitting impossibly deeper, but not as thick. And you knew in the back of your head that you shouldn’t be doing this with him, you could see all the bruises marring his chest and abdomen and you opened your mouth to tell him that but the only thing that escaped your lips was another set of slurred moans.
Your vision was rather blurred and spotty--a part of you wondered again if you were on the verge of passing out because it was really starting to feel like it. Ran didn’t seem to be in pain, head tossed back, lips parted, violet eyes rolled back as he fucked you hard, hips snapping up to meet you with every bounce. Grip tight, borderline painful but the pain didn’t even register, too lost in the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls, still reeling from the three? four? orgasms that you’d already had, the ones that the two of them didn’t even give you a chance to recover from before they were pushing you toward your next.
Your hands were curled weakly around Ran’s forearms, nails scratching at his skin. You were going to cum again, you could feel this one coming fast and strong, you could feel the way your body felt like it was on fire, you could feel the way your body was shaking, the way your vision was going in and out, you could feel the tears spilling down your cheeks, the breathy, gasps of his name--little more than slurred babbles that only spurred him on even more, fucking you harder, faster, moaning your name louder.
You tried to warn him but the high came faster than you expected, mind going blank, vision going white and then dark. You weren’t sure how long you were out of it, everything felt dull and muted except for the feeling of Ran’s cock pistoning in and out of you as he used your body to chase his own release, head lolled to the side, eyes rolled back, jaw slack and you could feel the drool pooling at the corner of your lips as he just kept going, ignoring how you were barely even conscious in his hold to get himself off.
It could have been two minutes, it could have been twenty before you were being laid back on the bed, both Rindou and Ran’s cum leaking out of you profusely, body uncooperative as you tried to move and get yourself comfortable. You weren’t sure how many more times you had cum--too many considering you couldn’t even respond to the soft words they were telling you, your tongue too heavy in your mouth to even think of it.
You barely understood half of what they were saying and if it had been anybody else you were with, you knew you would have been anxious, scared. You hated being put in vulnerable positions--you always had, and that only amplified once you had gotten involved with the shadier side of the world.
You could feel Rindou curled at your side, lips pressed to your temple, while Ran wrapped his arm around your waist. “I love you,” he murmured, and you tried to say it back but the only thing you could let out was an unintelligible babble that had Ran snorting in amusement. You felt a distinct urge to slap him but couldn't raise your hand up from your side. “Go to sleep.”
Your eyes drooped shut at his words, body and mind exhausted and content, happy, in a way that you hadn't been in a long time... in a way that you weren't sure you had ever been, if you were being honest.
You had never had them as wholly and completely as you did in that moment, and it was something you never wanted to end. But as you drifted off to sleep in their arms, you couldn't help the dreadful feeling that began to stir in your stomach as you thought of what the next few days might bring.
----
You woke up tangled up in the sheets with Ran, the blinds had been pulled open--surely by Rindou, who didn’t want to wait hours for the two of you to finally wake up. You scowled as you tried to disentangle yourself from Ran without waking him up, knowing that he needed the rest.
Your body felt sore and your face felt hot as you recalled what you had done last night with them but you forced yourself to shake your head, pressing a soft kiss against his forehead before stealing his shirt and slipping it on, making your way out of the room toward the kitchen.
You could smell something cooking in there--eggs, you realized and you smiled lightly to yourself when you caught sight of Rindou at the stove, phone pressed to his ear as he spoke to someone on the phone. You leaned against the wall, watching him absently flip the egg, gaze trailing down his chest, following his tattoos until they disappeared beneath his sweats.
“... are you sure? Keep checking in at some of the other safehouses before talking to anyone else, especially-” Rindou cut himself off, finally noticing you. He gave you a small smile before speaking again, “Never mind, I’ll talk to you later.”
Rindou hung up the phone and placed it down on the counter, you made your way over to him, “What was that all about?” you asked quietly, arms slipping around his waist, chin propped up on his chest to look up at him.
“Don’t worry about it,” he responded, ducking his head down to press his lips against yours briefly, “Ran’s still sleeping?”
“What do you think?” you asked dryly, wondering if you should push or not--but you knew Rindou never liked it and you weren’t sure you wanted to deal with an argument.
Rindou rolled his eyes, “Of course he is,” he muttered as he plated one of the eggs and passed it over to you before grabbing one for himself. The two of you walked over to the counter, sitting on one of the stools. His gaze drifted over you, watching as you ate a forkful of the eggs. You looked at him suspiciously.
“What?” you asked.
“Nothing,” he said quietly, “If you had told me a few weeks ago we’d be here…” he trailed off, shaking his head, and guilt pooled in your stomach.
“I’m sorry,” you told him, gaze dropping down to the ground.
“I know,” he responded and you let out a breath, your chest tight. You knew you didn’t deserve it, but you hoped one day they would forgive you.
The two of you ate in silence for a few moments after that until Rindou finally spoke up again, “How did you even get Ran out of there?”
“Hanma Shuji,” you said, mind drifting back to the gold-eyed man, wondering what exactly he was up to right now. “His men were supposed to be watching him, he called them off and gave me the time I needed to get Ran out of there.”
Rindou looked surprised, “Hanma?” his brows were furrowed deep in suspicion, “Why? Ran and Hanma hated each other in Tenjiku. Or, Ran hated Hanma at least, and didn’t try to hide it.”
“Really?” you asked curiously, “Why?” You thought about what he said a little more. “Hanma was in Tenjiku with you guys?”
Rindou made a quiet noise of agreement as he took another bite of his eggs. “Yeah, never saw him again after that fight though,” he said, “and I’m not sure. Ran never really got into it, he just said that he had weird vibes and it made him uncomfortable. Ran’s always been pretty good at reading people, so I just went along with it.”
You frowned, “Weird, I never got off vibes from him. He’s helped me a lot. Saved my life at the auction, he shielded me from the explosion.”
Rindou grinned and nudged you, “You also suck at reading people,” he teased.
You gaped, “I totally do not,” you said, offended, “I-”
You faltered when you remembered what happened after the Munich Incident, with your bodyguard--a phantom pain itched at your back, you slumped, eyeing Rindou, incredibly annoyed.
“He helped me a lot, when he didn’t have to,” you told him, “I’d trust him if it came down to it.”
Rindou eyed you for a second before nodding, “Okay,” he said, “I trust you.”
Your breath caught at his words--the truth behind them, the way he said it so firmly. You pressed your lips together tight, trying to hide the tremble as you reached down and grabbed his free hand, squeezing it gently. He noticed how much the three words affected you if the soft look on his face had anything to say about it, and he only let out a breath before leaning in and pressing his lips to the top of your head.
“It’ll probably be a week or two before things calm down enough for us all to get out of here,” Rindou said. “We should keep low. Ran and I’ll avoid going to any meetings if Mikey calls them, but I don’t know how long we’ll be able to do that. I checked around the safehouse, this place is stocked to last a while so we won’t need to go out and get anything.”
You let out a sigh, “I hate being cooped up,” you murmured, leaning your head on his shoulder.
You could practically hear the leer in his voice as he spoke, “Mmm, I dunno, I think I’ll enjoy it, gonna get to make good use of that pretty pussy after you deprived us of it for so long.”
You gasped, jabbing his abdomen with your fingers but he didn’t even flinch, snickering to himself as he rose to his feet, picking up both of your plates to bring them over to the sink. You rested your chin on your hand, elbow propped up on the table as you watched him clean the dishes.
“Why didn’t you guys say anything back then?” you asked quietly, watching as Rindou looked back at you over his shoulder. You tried to ignore the way the muscles on his back flexed at the motion. Tried.
“Why didn’t you?” Rindou countered.
Your eyes drew away from him toward a window, a heavy feeling settling over you as you remembered what exactly your mental state was like before you left for Munich.
“You know why,” you said quietly, avoiding his gaze.
Rindou let out a breath, shutting off the water and placing the dishes on the drying rack. He stepped around the kitchen to stand in front of you again. He cradled your head to his chest, your eyes fluttered shut as he scratched the back of your head gently, lulling your eyes shut.
“Ran wanted me to say something,” Rindou said after a moment, and you lifted your head from his chest to look up at him questioningly. Why didn’t you? was on the tip of your tongue, but you didn’t need to voice it, “I knew Ran loved you. I couldn’t.”
“Oh,” you said softly, wondering just how oblivious you had been to both of their feelings. You swallowed thickly, looking away, trying to change the subject, “Um, what do you wanna do? We can-”
“I can think of a few things,” Rindou winked at you, and you rolled your eyes, pushing him back to rise to your feet.
“You’re unbearable,” you muttered.
“You love it,” he shot right back.
“Don’t remind me.”
A smile spread across his lips at your words, nudging you gently with his shoulder, “Movie?” he asked quietly. “Before Ran wakes up and starts whining about food?”
“Sure,” you said after a moment, “What movie?”
You waited for him to offer a movie, but he didn’t. The two of you stood there in silence for a few seconds. Just as he opened his mouth to suggest a movie, you did too.
“The Conjuring?”
“Star Wars?”
Both of you went silent again, expressions going flat as you stared at each other.
“Absolutely fucking not.”
“No way in hell.”
Rindou’s brows furrowed, “It’s my turn to pick,” he snapped, “You made us watch the fucking Exorcist the last time we watched a movie together. I had nightmares for two weeks straight.”
“I don’t give a shit if it’s your turn,” you snapped right back, as relentless as ever, “I’m not watching the Empire Strikes Back for the fiftieth fucking time, Rindou.”
“It’s a good fucking movie,” Rindou responded heatedly, “You don’t even pay attention!”
“Because I don’t like it! Maybe if you weren’t such a fuckin’ piss baby, you’d enjoy horror movies.”
“Hey! What the fuck did you just call me?”
“What’re you? Deaf? I know you heard me."
“I’m putting on Star Wars.”
“No, you are not! Get back here, Rindou!”
"Will you shut up? You're going to wake Ran up."
"Says you!"
—
wordcount: 6.7k
REBLOGS N FEEDBACK HIGHLY APPRECIATED
— pls do not nitpick tiny mistakes or whatever, i’d like feedback on plot/character development. this was the hardest chapter for me to write so far :')
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when you break up
a/n 2 minus 1 by seventeen has been stuck in my head so I'm also going to put in lyrics that match with them
tw // breaking up, angst, substance abuse, overdosing (no death), jealousy
RAN
"hope you listen to this song 'cause I'm doing right just fine"
will pretend to be absolutely fine
but behind his facade is a lonely man who thought he was tougher than he is
"I can see you're doing really good without me, baby"
when he saw you out with mitsuya takashi of all fucking people, he saw red but he knew that he had no right to step in
his respect for you never faded
he would like to think he eventually lets you go but will lie to himself for what he thinks might be the rest of his life
RINDOU
"we used to be best friends, I remember you said that you can be yourself when I'm around"
your relationship was built around the solid foundation of your initial friendship, so how could you just stop talking to him after you broke up?
even though he is a top three boyfriend, he couldn't help the late nights that eventually led to fights of "why can't you prioritize me for once!"
he knew it was coming when you eventually stopped talking to him about the little things
"we used be so much alike, I can still see you in myself"
post-breakup he always reaches for his phone to tell you about something funny that happened at work, or what sanzu did that day to annoy him
too bad his messages will always be left undelivered
HARUCHIYO
"all the time in the world to myself, I can go out and drink all day and night but why can't I get you off my mind"
will lean into substance abuse, heavily.
he would do anything to hear your laugh, your "haru! you shouldn't do that, 's not good for your health", and "haru i love you"
"I can still smell the perfume you used to wear in my clothes, can't erase it, no"
he swears he can smell your perfume when he's on the verge of overdosing, but your voice echoes in his head, reminding him of your last words
"take care of yourself my love, that's the least you can do for me"
spy x family as 90’s anime 👨👩👧✨
mutuals do this
hey kids who read fic, listen up
it’s annoying to me as a Fanfic Elder that y’all don’t understand how consent works in regards to reading fanfic
last night I saw a fic that had EIGHT of my favorite tags included and a great summary BUT it also contained a tag for a topic that bothers me. I weighed the pros/cons and decided NOT to read the fic because the ONE tag I disliked was something that could trigger a panic attack if the scene went into any sort of detail - it wasn’t worth risking the eight good tags.
from the first moment I noticed the fic to the moment I decided not to read it, the entire experience was MY RESPONSIBILITY. the author tagged the fic correctly, I knew what my limits were, and I respected them.
if you find a fic with tags you don’t like, JUST DON’T READ IT
don’t harass the author, don’t post a big whiny rant about it on Tumblr, just keep scrolling
that is your job as a reader.
LITTLE DARK AGE
haitani ran x fem!reader x haitani rindou
summary: eight years later, you finally return to tokyo and find yourself caught in the middle of a violent gang war between the two most ruthless criminal organizations of tokyo’s underworld, forced to choose between blood and love.
genre: bonten timeskip, angst, forbidden romance, childhood friends -> strangers -> lovers, 18+ MDNI
warnings: fem!reader, gang violence, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, explicit smut, polyamory, profanity, MCD, unedited, MTBA
previous chapter -> masterlist -> next chapter
CHAPTER ⅩⅢ. AND WHEN THE SEASONS CHANGE, WILL YOU STAND BY ME?
TEN YEARS EARLIER.
There was something wrong with you.
Both of them knew it. Something had changed in you after that day at the delinquent center. Something had changed in all of them, really, losing Izana was just a blow that none of them were prepared to take. But Rindou had prayed, he had prayed and prayed and prayed that the change was temporary, that everyone would bounce back.
And most of them did, to some extent.
Except you.
He should have known better. He really should have. You might not have known Izana as long as the rest of them had but the two of you had clicked in a way that Rindou had never really seen you click with anyone before. Not even them. All those days and nights spent in the music room, the way the two of you would bounce ideas off of each other all the time, planning out your future, their future…
You had never dealt with loss well. He had known that since you were kids, when they had met you a little while after your family had been killed in an accident. You had always tried your best to pretend that you were fine but they knew you weren’t. Just like they knew now, even if you wouldn’t admit it.
And Rindou was worried. He was so fucking worried and he did not know what to do. This wasn’t like the last time you had distanced yourself from them, when you had gotten aggressive, and angry, and upset. This time was different. Because you weren’t aggressive, or angry, and you didn’t even seem to be upset even though Rindou knew you well enough to know that you were.
You were cold. Aloof. While last time you would have started yelling at them for bothering you and constantly trying to convince you to do things with them, this time you just brushed them off--you were tired, you were busy with meetings, you needed to eat, you had to talk to your uncle about plans for the future.
Rindou couldn’t remember the last time you had hung out with them. He missed the late night movies, he missed waking up Ran with you and forcing him to join the two of you, he missed you.
He didn’t want to linger on the thought, instead shaking his head and tilting his head up, letting his gaze drift up to the sky above Izanagi Headquarters.
It was going to start raining, it was dark, and the clouds were moving fast--too fast. Rindou let out a breath as he looked back over at Ran, who was still sitting back on his bike, hands pressed against the seat as he stared up at the building you were in.
They had come to try to talk to you--knowing that once you got back home you’d lock yourself in your room and either work on some more stuff for your uncle or pass right out and they’d lose their chance.
Rindou opened his mouth, preparing to tell Ran that they should head home unless they wanna get caught in the rain.
He didn’t get the chance.
“You should go in there,” Ran’s voice was quiet. There was a tone that Rindou couldn’t quite decipher. Rindou looked over his shoulder, lips turned down and hair falling in his face as he eyed Ran. Ran did not meet his eyes. “She needs you, Rindou. I don’t know why she’s pushing us away like this but I-we can’t just let her do this to herself.”
“She needs both of us, Ran, that’s why we’re here,” Rindou’s voice was dismissive. He didn’t understand what Ran was trying to get at, and he didn’t understand why Ran wouldn’t meet his eyes. Obviously you needed them, that was why they were camped out across the street from Izanagi’s godforsaken headquarters.
“Ran,” Rindou called for his brother again. Ran ignored him, again, only staring up to the top of Izanagi headquarters, lips tugged down into a slight frown, a strange look in his eyes, “She needs both of us.”
“Not in the same way.”
Rindou fully turned around, head snapping toward Ran, eyes wide, confusion brewing in his stomach as he mulled over what Ran had said.
Not in the same way?
“The fuck does that mean?” Rindou demanded. Ran looked away. “Hey, I asked you a question.”
Ran did not answer.
But he didn’t need to. Because Rindou knew exactly what he meant, and he did not know how to take it.
Unconsciously, he looked back toward the building that he knew you were in, a tight feeling in his chest. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t thought about it before. Rindou let out a shaky breath, eyes sliding shut for just a second. God, he had thought about it so much. Ever since you guys were younger--since that night at the Sugawara estate, really--all the nights that he had spent up with you, watching those dumb horror movies you loved that he hated, he always imagined how you would feel whenever you were curled up at his side, body pressed against his, the number of times he had debated on reaching out, pressing his lips to yours, it was uncountable really; and all the days he would spend wandering around Roppongi with you, unable to draw his eyes from your bright smile and lit up eyes, he imagined what it would be like taking you out on dates instead of just going out as friends, holding your face in his hands and pressing his lips to yours.
“You know what it means,” Ran said, and Rindou forced himself to open his eyes and look back at Ran, lips parting to speak but he hesitated when he caught sight of Ran’s face. There was an expression on it that Rindou had never seen before--one that Ran was clearly trying to hide from his brother but hiding stuff from Rindou was nearly impossible. They knew each other too well for that.
Lips pressed tight and the corners drawn downwards, eyebrows lowered, eyes dull.
… He didn’t want this.
Or maybe he did on the surface, but deep down he did not. Rindou’s chest felt tight, he tried to push away the sick feeling that rose to his stomach, the tight feeling in his chest, so he could figure out why Ran didn’t want it, and why he was claiming he did.
Oh, his breath shook, he tried to steady it.
There was only one reason why Ran wouldn’t want him to be with you.
“I’m not doing that,” Rindou finally said, and he hated how his voice cracked, and he hated how much it hurt him to voice aloud. Ran’s gaze was dark as it shifted back onto him, angry. “I’m not, Ran.”
“Why the fuck not?” Ran demanded, and there was an edge to his voice that Rindou really didn’t like, one that promised violence. This was going to end in an argument, “You love her, don’t you?”
“So do you,” the words were bitter on Rindou’s tongue, speaking them outloud made him nauseous. Ran physically flinched at his words, drawing back, downturned eyes now wide and surprised. Rindou felt ill, taking his reaction as confirmation.
“What?” Ran asked, voice breathless.
“So do you,” Rindou repeated, voice steadier, more assured. “You love her too, don’t you?”
“No,” Ran said immediately, lying, and the rage hit Rindou so suddenly that he had a hard time controlling it. He was off of his bike in an instant, moving closer to Ran, blood running hot, skin burning.
“Why the fuck are you lying to me?” Rindou barely stopped himself from yelling at Ran, reaching out sharply to grab his collar. Anger flashed through Ran’s eyes, a type of anger that Rindou hadn’t seen in his eyes in years.
“‘Cause it’s not fucking true,” Ran knocked Rindou’s hand off of his collar, eyes dark and Rindou’s blood boiled. He reached forward again, this time with two hands, grabbing Ran’s collar again and shaking him.
“I thought we didn’t lie to each other, Ran, what the fuck?” Rindou’s voice choked, his vision blurred. Frustration hit him so hard it had him dizzy. You were cold and distant, Ran was lying to him, and Rindou didn’t know what to do anymore.
He wanted you, god he had wanted you since you were kids. But there was no way, there was no fucking way he could do that to Ran. He knew how much it took for Ran to open up to people, how hard and how intensely he loved--he couldn’t just…
Ran pushed him away, harder this time. Rindou grunted when his back hit the wall of the building next to them, his gaze snapped up, meeting Ran’s. “Shut the fuck up, Rindou,” Ran spat out, tone vile and venomous. Rindou nearly flinched, Ran had never taken that tone with him before. “Shut the fuck up and go to her.”
“I’m not doing that,” Rindou said, “I’m not fucking doing that, Ran.”
“Why not?” Ran hissed, “She fucking needs you, Rindou. All this time I’ve-”
The anger hit a peak, Rindou shoved Ran right back, forcing him to stumble back into his bike. Rindou’s hands were clenched tight at his sides, shaking. His whole body felt like it was on fire, and he couldn’t tell if he was angry or disappointed or upset--maybe both, really. Angry at Ran for lying, for trying to push him into a relationship with you when he knew that he loved you too; disappointed at himself, for having fallen so easily for you and not having even realized that Ran felt the same way about you, for being so obvious in how he felt; and upset because he knew all of those things he had dreamed of with you would never happen because he could never do that to Ran.
“I’m not going to get with the girl you love,” Rindou shouted, “It doesn’t matter how much I love her too. You’re my fucking brother, Ran.”
And Rindou wondered just how stupid he was over the past few years. He thought back to all of the times he had seen Ran act around you--the stolen glances and small smiles when he thought no one was looking, the way he was always looking out for you and making sure you were okay. Rindou had never realized Ran’s feelings had run as deep as they had, but how hadn’t he?
It had been fucking obvious.
It had been so fucking obvious.
All those times over the years when Ran had pushed Rindou toward you, putting you in situations that would bring the two of you closer together, pushing aside his own feelings because he knew that Rindou loved you. He felt sick to his stomach.
Rindou shut his eyes, taking a step back from Ran, “Ran, I can’t do that,” he shook his head, “I can’t do that.”
Ran straightened, pushing off from where he had stumbled back against his bike. He shot Rindou a livid glare, brushing off his clothes.
“Yes, you-”
Ran’s voice faltered, his gaze drifting off somewhere behind Rindou, a strange expression crossing his face. Rindou turned, following where he was looking, and his mouth dried when he caught sight of you exiting the Izanagi building, dressed nice in the outfit you had left the penthouse in at the crack of dawn this morning. You were talking to your uncle, walking toward an expensive car waiting at the front of the building.
Rindou took a step toward you.
He hesitated when you looked up from your uncle, eyes focusing in on where and Ran were waiting across the street by their bikes. Your name was on the tip of his tongue, he was ready to call out for you, to tell you to come over to him.
But you looked away.
Rindou’s throat felt tight as you took one look at them, recognized them, only to return to conversation with your uncle, getting into the car with him without hesitation.
Oh.
It stung. It stung bad. He remembered the days where you would flee school early, running to them giggling and excited, when they showed up at your classroom to pick you up before they got their tattoo, how your gaze had always been bright and thrilled to see them. He could practically picture the way you would raise your arms, waving to them before you would recklessly sprint across the street toward them, nearly giving both of them a heart attack..
But the car door only shut behind you, and even though the streets were loud and bustling with people, everything around him sounded far away and muted. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sleek black car as it pulled down the street, not until it was completely out of view.
His chest squeezed as he looked back at Ran, catching the hurt expression that flashed across his face as his eyes focused down the street where the car had disappeared to, all of the fight drained out of him as he let his gaze drop down to the ground, a sinking feeling rising through him that it wouldn’t quite matter what either of them had wanted.
--
NINE YEARS EARLIER.
Mucho had been next.
You felt numb as you walked ahead toward the warehouse that Mister Ayato and Mister Mado found out Ran and Rindou were at.
The sky was dark, gloomy--there had been no predictions of rain when you last checked the weather station but it really would be just your luck for it to start downpouring now.
You should be angry. You weren’t sure why you weren’t--you had told them over and over and over again to be back home by five at the latest. Now it was six, and you were going to be late to Mister Botan’s funeral.
Mucho had been next, and after Mucho, it was nearly Terano Minami—the leader of Rokuhara Tandai, the next gang that Ran and Rindou had decided to join under. And while there was no love lost between you and Terano, your first impressions of one another having been less than ideal, you couldn’t help the guilt that crept in you, festering once you had learned what had happened.
Was this your fault too?
You tried to atone for it. You did. You got Terano the best doctors Japan had to offer, the nicest hospitals, the most expensive treatments. But it wasn’t enough. They didn’t know when he would wake up, if he would wake up, even. And all you could do was wait. Wait for news, wait to find out if another person died because of you.
Maybe it would be best if you were gone.
You were tired of waiting. All you did your whole entire life was wait--wait for your uncle, wait for yourself, waiting for this curse to finally devour everyone you had loved.
Because you were certain of it at this point. The curse was real and it was only a matter of time before it took Rindou and Ran from you too.
You walked into the warehouse, ignoring the leers tossed your way by the unfamiliar men littered around the area. Your lip curled up in disgust as a particularly loud comment met your ears but you forced yourself to not acknowledge it--acknowledging it would only make them throw even more at you.
You didn’t really know where you were--well you did, this was apparently the base for the Kanto Manji Gang, the gang that Rindou and Ran and the rest of their friends were absorbed into after Terano had been beaten to the brink of death by its leader. But you had never been here before, you only knew this from the little information that Mister Mado and Mister Ayato had found out when you had mentioned the predicament to them. You had no idea what the layout of the base looked like, and you had no idea where Rindou and Ran were.
And you did not like the looks that kept getting thrown your way, and you liked even less the way that some of the men kept creeping closer.
Discomfort brewed in your chest but you forced yourself to keep walking, keeping your chin up and your back straight.
Your gaze darted around as you entered a larger room, and relief hit you like a truck when you caught sight of four familiar figures lounged in the corner of the room. You beelined straight toward them, irritation fizzing in your chest when you noticed they weren’t doing anything important to excuse their lateness. But you couldn’t hold it--the irritation fizzled as quickly as it came.
You paused several feet away from them, none of them noticed your presence and your eyes focused on Rindou and Ran. Your chest felt tight when you noticed the easy smile on Ran’s face as he leaned back against the wall, talking to Mochi and a scarred man you didn’t recognize, when you noticed how Rindou was relaxed on the ground, shooting jabs back and forth with Shion.
Izana and Mucho were not there. You could almost imagine Izana lounging on a nearby crate, chin propped on his hand as he watched over them. You could see Mucho standing next to Mochi, half-amused and half-annoyed as Rindou and Shion’s jabs grew more intense.
Maybe it would be best if you were gone.
Once again, resentment and fear stirred in you but you pushed it back down, smothering it.
“You should be home,” your voice came out duller than you intended for it to. You stared ahead, down at Rindou and Ran, watching as their heads snapped toward you, eyes wide and expressions pale. “We are going to be late for the funeral.”
“It’s time already?” Rindou was pushing himself to his feet immediately, sharing a look with Ran.
“How’d you get here?” Ran asked at the same time.
“It is well past time,” you said in response, ignoring Ran’s question, “and you can’t attend the funeral in… that.”
You eyed the dark uniform adorning their bodies, shaking your head. You turned on your heel and started back the way you had come from, eyes catching a figure standing at the opposite side of the wrong--blonde hair, empty dark eyes trained on you.
He was familiar, you couldn’t quite place from where though. You didn’t pay mind to it for too long, instead only continuing on.
You were being cold to them, you had been over a year now. You knew it, and you felt guilty. So fucking guilty. You wanted to apologize, and tell them you missed them. It had been so fucking long since you did anything with them--more focused on learning from your uncle and the other Izanagi executives so you could learn the steps to start your own corporation.
You were doing what was best, you reminded yourself--the mantra you had begun to chant whenever doubt began to cloud your mind. Once you got your own company up and running, once you had the power you needed to keep them safe--from enemies, rivals, even that god forsaken curse--you would go to them, you would apologize and tell them everything, beg them to forgive you.
But until then, you had to keep your head on straight.
You heard Rindou and Ran call after you but ignored them, keeping your gaze trained ahead as you made your way out of the larger room and down the hall. Mister Ayato and Mister Mado were waiting in the car outside, dressed and ready to go to the funeral, you knew they were unhappy with Rindou and Ran but you had asked them to not start an argument over it--not yet, at least--and you hoped that they would keep to their word.
You were sure Rindou and Ran felt bad about losing track of time--and you knew you should be angry at them too, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to be. Maybe it was just the numbness of another loss, or maybe it was something else but-
A hand wrapped around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. You paused, turning to look at the offender over your shoulder--Rindou’s hand dropped from your wrist as soon as your eyes met his, you raised your brows.
“We don’t really have time to spare,” you told him, “What is it?”
You didn’t mean for your voice to come out as sharply as it did, really, but anger flashed across Ran’s face behind Rindou, anger that he only just barely managed to push aside as he forced himself to look away. Rindou didn’t say anything, so you only waited a moment before letting out a sigh and turning back around, continuing back toward the car.
Your family. Izana. Mucho. Nearly Terano. Now Mister Botan.
Seven people, six untimely deaths, and one brush with death.
Who would be eighth?
Miss Yua or Mister Ayato? Mister Mado?
Shion or Mochi?
Your uncle?
Ran or Rindou?
You felt sick to your stomach, your body felt chilled over, as if you had just walked out of a freezer, your head felt dizzy. Calm down, you told yourself, now’s not the time.
You could picture your mom’s excited smile as the four of you drove to your recital, your sister happily telling you about her day at school, your father squeezing your shoulder and telling you he was proud of you. You could see Izana sitting with you on the piano bench, humming along a tune as he strummed the strings of his guitar. You could see Mucho standing with Miss Yua, trying to learn how to cook from her, bringing you and Izana some bento he had tried to put together. You could see Mister Botan’s smiling face as you returned back to the penthouse after school, asking you how your presentation went today, and you could see him ushering you inside, grabbing you both some treats as he sat you down in the lobby and listened as you rambled on about your topic.
Maybe it would be best if you were gone.
Behind you, Rindou and Ran were talking but you couldn’t even make sense of what they were saying. It sounded like they were underwater, or you were, you couldn’t tell. Your vision swam as you continued walking forward, and you could feel how stiff your body was with each step.
The words rang through your head over and over again.
Maybe it would be best if you were gone.
Your eyes drifted back to Rindou and Ran, where they were talking quietly to each other, sparing brief glances at you before returning to whispering to each other. The guilt hit you again, harder this time, debilitating.
You loved them.
A part of you had always known it, since you were kids but you had only recently come to terms with it—when faced with an ultimatum from your uncle: head to a prestigious foreign university and jumpstart the process to forming your own company or wait to inherit Izanagi from him. The choice should have been obvious, there shouldn’t have been any debate… but it wasn’t obvious and there was debate.
Because you would have to leave them, and you didn’t know how long you would be, and they wouldn’t be able to join you, and you didn’t know if you could bring yourself to do it. Every time you thought of the years you would spend apart—all of the memories you would make without them, all of the space that would grow between you—it made you sick to your stomach, to the point where you were keeling over in your room and dry-heaving, trying to mask your sobs and heaves by turning up the television so they didn’t hear you.
You didn’t want to do it if it would cost you the only two people you had ever loved but-
Your family. Izana. Mucho. Nearly Terano. Mister Botan.
What if being here costed you them anyway? Except in a far more permanent way.
Maybe you were better off gone.
Tragedy follows you and it was only a matter of time before it took everybody else. It was only a matter of time before you were alone.
You slipped into the backseat of the car, resting your forehead against the window letting your eyes slide shut. You would lose everyone, you knew it. You could feel it deep in your bones.
… unless you left first, that is.
---
PRESENT.
“What the fuck did you do?”
Rindou’s ears were ringing as he stared off to where you disappeared to, doors shutting loud, damning. He could barely breathe, his hands shook as he held Ran in place.
“Rindou, what the fuck did you do?” Ran roared, “What the fuck did you do? Why the fuck would you do that? I thought you fucking loved her, I thought you loved her.”
Rindou grimaced as Ran’s elbow drove deep into his side but Rindou was certain that it was his words that had knocked the wind out of him, not the blow. I do love her, Rindou wanted to scream at him but he couldn’t form the words. His body seized at the harsh blow delivered to his gut. His grip faltered around Ran, giving him the chance to push off the ground and stumble toward the door.
What did he do?
He stared ahead for a moment, not moving, trying to come to terms with what had just happened.
He let you go.
He let you go.
Rindou’s body moved on his own as he threw himself forward, hand wrapping around Ran’s wrist as he yanked his brother back toward him before he could try to push the doors to the locker room open.
He felt numb, his body felt cold.
He let you go.
Ran thrashed against him, trying to push Rindou off of him, but he was weak, and was getting weaker with each passing second. He was stressing out his wounds, straining his body, and Rindou opened his mouth to tell him to stop but no words left his mouth.
He let you go.
“Let go of me,” Ran demanded and Rindou held him tighter, his heart felt like it was in his throat, tears stung his eyes. He could barely breathe, he couldn’t open his mouth to tell Ran no, he felt sick to his stomach. “Let fucking go of me, Rindou, you let her go, what the fuck is the difference? Let me go too.”
He let you go.
He did the right thing, didn’t he?
Doubt clouded his mind, he forced himself to repeat the words over and over and over again. He did the right thing--you knew what you were doing, and Ran wasn’t in any kind of fighting state. There was one gun, not enough bullets, if he had done as Ran said, if he had forced you to stay, they would have been gunned down, no question about it.
At least this way they had a chance. This way Ran had a chance.
But he let you throw yourself to the fucking wolves for it.
Was it worth it?
He felt as if the weight of the world had dropped onto his shoulders, he thought back to all those myths that you and Izana had been so interested in, and he wondered if this was how Atlas felt when he had to bear the weight of the sky.
He let you go. Was it worth it?
Was it worth it?
Ran would have died if he didn’t, it shouldn’t even be a question. Of course, he did the right thing, why was he even questioning it like this? Ran had always put him and his safety first, Rindou had to do the same.
But at what cost? Sacrificing you? The woman he loved? … the woman his brother loved?
Bile rose to his throat, he took another elbow to the gut from Ran--this time, he didn’t let go.
“Stop,” he tried to tell Ran, voice raspy and pain shooting up through his body, “Ran, stop.”
“Fuck you, Rindou,” Ran’s voice was shriller than he had ever heard it before, his eyes were wild. Rindou opened his mouth to tell him to stop but his eyes widened as Ran seemed to gain a sudden boost of energy, pushing Rindou away hard and sending him crashing back into one of the benches.
Rindou let out a string of vile curses, the pain of the metal digging deep into his side making his vision flash white. He forced himself back to his feet, preparing to drag Ran back down to the ground but he paused when he realized Ran hadn’t made any move toward the door.
His face was pale and his shoulders were slumped, he stared at the door with a sort of expression that had Rindou’s throat closing up with guilt.
“This is all my fucking fault,” Ran breathed out and Rindou shook his head, moving closer to him. He put his hand on Ran’s shoulder but Ran shrugged it off, looking away.
“Ran, it’s not-”
“I left the auction, Rindou,” Ran said, “I left the auction and put myself in the position to get caught. Which made her have to make the decision that led to me getting my ass beat. Which led to her breaking me out, which led to this. If I had just stayed in the fuckin’ auction hall like Kakucho said, we would not be in this position.”
“That’s not-”
“Fuck off, Rindou,” but there was no heat behind Ran’s voice this time and Rindou couldn’t look at his brother’s face anymore, he couldn’t stand the broken expression on his face, and he couldn’t stand the heavy feeling that kept pulling at his stomach.
He looked down at the ground, fists tight at his sides. You were talking to them on the opposite side of the door but he couldn’t make out what exactly you were saying. He should have faith--you always managed to talk your way out of situations. If Rindou had to bet, he would say it’s one of the things you were best at.
You would be fine. They would be fine.
He made the right choice by letting you go.
But Rindou couldn’t help the strange feeling that began to pass over him as he lifted his gaze back up.
His hair stood on end, the entire world around him tunneled as he stared at the doors to the locker room--something bad was about to happen, he realized, letting go of Ran’s shoulder and taking a step toward the door just as the deafening bang of a gunshot resounded through the air around them.
--
There were a lot of them. Too many of them. You couldn’t help the anxiety that started to pool in your gut, and you couldn’t help the way your eyes unconsciously started to dart around, searching for any possible escape routes. There weren’t any but you knew it wouldn’t have mattered even if there were one.
You couldn’t leave them here.
You kept your shoulders square as you raised your chin, eyes steady on the man at the front of the group. You did not recognize him. Tall, light hair and lighter eyes. He looked foreign. His gaze was cold, his smile was mocking.
You hated him.
You glanced back once, taking one look at the double doors of the locker room and after a second of hesitation, you moved, leaning down to pick up one of the weighted bars for lifting. Gritting your teeth as you bring it up to slide it between the handles, making sure that the door stayed shut and wasn’t able to be opened from the inside. The last thing you needed was for them to come out here and get themselves killed while you were talking.
You stared at the door for a moment, shutting your eyes as you pictured them behind it, and briefly, you wondered if that had been the last time you’d ever see them. You felt sick, and your hands shook before you forced them to stop, turning around, lips twisted down, eyes dark.
“If Sugawara wants Izanami, then they get to walk out of here. Alive,” you cut straight to the chase.
“You’re in no place to make demands,” the man noted, tilting his head to the side to eye you curiously. He holstered his pistol back at his side but none of the men with him lowered theirs. You kept yours steady in front of you. “I’m not going to negotiate with a gun aimed at my face.”
You grit your teeth--having the gun trained on their leader was the only sort of insurance you had right now, but you supposed it didn’t mean anything anyway. If you pulled the trigger, they would either just straight up shoot you, or at the very least subdue you and then kill Rindou and Ran.
Frustration bled through your skin and painted your blood black, you dropped the gun to your side.
Breathe in, breathe out. Think.
“What makes you think Kenji wants Izanami?” the man questioned, hands in his pockets as he took a step toward you. He looked at ease, relaxed, and resentment stirred in you. “We already have Izanagi-”
“Izanami is worth double Izanagi,” you interrupted, meeting his eyes, “and two night ago, I spent four hours talking to my lawyers in order to have it passed on to Kokonoi Hajime after I die. Bonten’s in a shitty spot now because you went after all of their current businesses, it won’t be as shitty once they have their hands on a corporation worth five trillion yen.”
The man’s lax position faltered, you kept your gaze steady.
You were lying. The company was still set to go to Takuya at your death but there was no way for them to know that.
Or they shouldn’t have a way, at least.
“Get Kenji on the phone,” the man’s voice was sharp and cold as he looked over his shoulder at one of the men behind him, who shifted uncomfortably at his words.
“Rui-”
“Now,” the man said harshly, waiting for the other man to scramble for his phone before turning his attention back on you. Rui’s lips twisted, “You’re a slimy little bitch, aren’t you?”
“I don’t like being backed into corners,” was all you said in response.
Rui smiled, it had your nerves on fire, “Neither does he,” he said ominously, and you couldn’t help the chill that ran down your spine at his words, the way every single cell of your body screamed at you to run, to flee.
Rui turned around, “Give me the phone,” he said, taking the phone from the other man and pressing it to his ear. You watched as he took a few steps away, speaking quietly to who you could only assume was Sugawara on the other line. You let out one steady breath, eyes taking one long look back toward where Ran and Rindou were on the opposite side of the door.
Did you do the right thing?
Now that you were out here, confronting them, you weren’t so sure.
No, you tried to convince yourself, no, you did what was right. There was no other option. Had you waited for them to come in there, they would have died.
Any option that ended with them dying was not actually an option.
You forced your gaze back to Rui, watching as he paced around listening to whatever Sugawara was going on about. You stiffened as he stopped midstep, looking at you from the corner of his eye, “Are you sure?” he asked before wincing, “... alright, alright, I get it.”
Rui walked back over toward you, you eyed him hesitantly as he held out the phone, “For you.”
Staring at the device for a second, your lips pulled down as you took it from your hand, holding it to your ear, “What?” you asked.
“It didn’t have to come to this. I gave you a chance, y’know?” Sugawara’s tone was a sort of faux-sympathy that made your skin crawl, “More than one, actually. But I gave you a real chance that night, asking if you wanted to make a deal for Haitani Ran.”
“You would have killed us both,” you told him, and Sugawara paused for a moment before snorting.
“Maybe,” he agreed, “At least it wouldn’t have been all three of you, though.”
Your blood felt cold, your breath caught.
All three of-
“It’s going to be a pain in the ass trying to cover this to Ichirou, you’ve caused more trouble than you’re worth,” the fake tone dropped, replaced by a sharp and icy one that made your mouth go dry, “Kokonoi Hajime won’t be able to do anything with Izanami, he and the rest of the Bonten executives will be dead by morning.”
Your head snapped to the side as movement rushed near your head, eyes widening as Rui raised his gun to your temple. Your lips parted, a cry of warning on the tip of your tongue to Rindou and Ran but there was no time.
You never had enough fucking time.
Your eyes slid shut instinctively as his finger twitched on the trigger. You wanted to apologize, tell them that you were sorry, that you had been wrong. You wanted to warn them and tell them you had failed, you should have known you would, you always fail without someone else’s help. You wanted to tell them that you wished you had listened to them, that you would have stayed in the locker room with them so you could at the very least greet death together.
You didn’t want to die alone.
But you couldn’t, because everything was happening too fast and you barely even had time to think, much less speak. The gunshot was deafening, your ears rung, and you waited for the pain.
You waited, and you waited, and you waited.
It didn’t come.
Blood and mush splattered against your face, in your eye, across your lips. You forced yourself to look down when you felt something fall hard against your foot and you could only stare at Rui’s unmoving body at your feet--half of his face blown off, gun discarded on the floor next to you.
What the-
You didn’t have time to try to figure out what happened, diving down to grab his gun before throwing yourself behind some lifting equipment just as another bullet hit the wall by your head.
Once you had some sort of cover, you looked around, eyes darting through the mirrors set up across the gym as you tried to understand what was happening. Sugawara’s men were taking cover throughout the room, half of them already dead on the floor. You couldn’t tell where the bullets were coming from--the entrance, maybe?
You tried to keep your breath steady but it was almost impossible under the circumstances. Every inhale caught, every exhale shook, fear was freezing your body, rendering you immobile.
Don’t let it control you, you told yourself over and over again. Rindou and Ran were still trapped in the locker room—sitting ducks, although you supposed it might be for the best, considering they would have come out at the first gunshot and gotten themselves killed in the fire fight.
Protect the door.
Breathe in, breathe out.
You focused on what was happening around you. Most of Sugawara’s men had their attention trained on the barrage of bullets coming at them.
Most.
Your eyes darted around, training in on a man aiming his gun at the door. It was a thinner metal.
The bullet would go right through, and you knew Rindou and Ran would be right on the opposite side of it, banging against the metal trying to get to you.
Breathe in. Aim. Breathe out. Pull the trigger.
The man hit the ground hard, blood spurting from his neck and pooling in his mouth, choking and spasming on the ground. You felt sick to your stomach but you couldn’t watch for long. You were forced to take cover again as his death caught the attention of one of his friends, who was aiming in your direction in an instant, bullets flying in the air just over where you had been standing.
Breathe in, breathe out.
You had to control yourself.
“I’ll cover you,” you heard an unfamiliar male voice say and your eyes widened as your gaze shot back up to the mirror, catching sight of the figure in the mirror making his way toward you, another covering his approach from a little ways back.
He was going for the locker room.
Realization hit you like a truck, all of the air was ripped from your lungs as you realized where exactly the man was taking off to. You couldn’t get a good angle from where you were kneeling behind the machine, but if you stood or tried to move, you’d be in line of fire of the man that was covering him.
You didn’t know what to do.
You could feel the anxiety beginning to claw at your chest again. You could feel the panic rise, the way your breath quickened, the way your heart raced. You were hesitating, you could feel yourself hesitating and you couldn’t stop yourself. Your fingers trembled around the gun, the world around you was somehow sped up and moving in slow motion at the same time.
You had to risk it.
You’d have one shot. Make it count. You kept your eyes trained on the mirror, holding the gun steady in front of you before pushing yourself to your feet. You swiveled, aiming it in the direction of the man approaching the locker room and pulling the trigger without sparing a second.
He hit the ground, and then so did you.
A searing pain shot through your arm, blinding pain, you felt like you were on fire and you gasped as your hand flew to your bicep where a bullet had ripped through and tore out a chunk of your skin on the side of your arm. You bit down hard on your tongue, swallowing the cry of pain. Tears stung your eyes and you tried so fucking hard to push them away because you couldn’t afford to have blurry vision right now.
Get up, you told yourself, forcing yourself back to your hands and knees, your ears rung, your vision spun, get up.
You held the gun tight in your hand, breath ragged as you tried to push yourself up but a large hand wrapped around your other bicep, yanking you to your feet. You tried to push away, panic flooding your system but whoever was holding you was strong, much stronger than you.
“Oi, relax,” a voice grunted, and you paused, breath catching as your eyes snapped to a hulking figure standing at your right. Blonde hair, pointed eyebrows, and familiar red eyes stared down at you.
“Hey, princess,” a familiar voice heckled from a few feet away, and now that you were slowly calming down, you realized that the gunshots had come to the stop, the chaos in the room having come to an eerie still, Sugawara’s men lying unmoving on the ground.
Madarame Shion was crouching on the ground next to Rui’s head. Mochizuki Kanji kept you steady on your feet.
“Long time, no see,” Shion finished, pushing himself to his feet, a wild grin on his face. “You look like shit.”
You let out a huff of laughter that sounded more like a sob. You couldn’t bring yourself to care, “Fuck you, Shion,” you said, but there was no heat behind your words as you leaned into Mochi while throwing your good arm around Shion. Your chest felt tight, the tears that had been building in your eyes spilled over as reality, relief, finally hit you.
You felt a hand grab your hurt arm gently, “Fuckers are using RIP rounds,” you heard Mochi mutter.
“Yikes,” Shion said, pulling away from you to lean down and look at your arm, “Ouch, yeah, that gotta hurt. Glad it’s not me.”
You shot Shion a withering look but he only winked at you, nodding to the door to the locker room, “You might wanna let them out of there. Preferably before they find a way to burn this place down. We’ve gotta get out of here, I’m sure they’ll be sending reinforcements up soon.”
You let out a breath, stepping toward the locker room. The pain had you dizzy on your feet for a second but Mochi’s grip on your waist tightened, you thanked him quietly before moving to the door. You stared at it for a moment, throat tight, before you forced yourself to push the weighted bar out from where it was holding the doors shut.
The bar hit the ground with a loud crash, you flinched at the noise before using your foot to roll it out of the way. You reached forward with your good arm, pulling the door open, and let it swing open with a dull thud.
Ran stared back at you from where he was standing half in front of Rindou. You weren’t sure how many seconds passed as the two of you stared at each other, trying to process what you were looking at.
“You’re okay,” Ran had never sounded so relieved before, voice little over a breath as he rushed toward you, with a sort of energy you really didn’t think he had left in him. Your throat felt swollen as you felt his arms wrap snug around your waist, pulling you toward him, flush against his body. Your breath was shaky, you buried your face into the crook of his neck, inhaling as best you could. Your fingers trembled against his back, his palm smoothed out against yours, blunt nails digging into your shirt.
“God, I’m so-” Ran cut himself off, pulling back to look at you. His hands slid back up your body, leaving a burning trail in their wake until they came to your face, cupping your cheeks more gently than you had ever seen him be with anyone before. His eyes raked over you, his throat bobbed, “I’m so fucking mad at you. I’m livid, you have no fucking idea, you-”
He cut himself off, taking in a sharp breath, “You could have died. You-you can’t give yourself up like that, not for us. You-”
He couldn’t finish whatever he was trying to say, instead only pressing his lips together and looking away.
“Your arm,” Rindou’s voice was quiet, tight. You looked up from Ran’s neck, eyes focusing in on Rindou’s face, catching the strange expression that was decorating it as he held your arm. His lips parted as if to speak but no words left his lips.
Guilty, you realized, he looked guilty.
“Hey,” Mochi said, “We don’t have time for the waterworks, come on.”
Rindou bristled, eyes darting up from you to glare at Mochi but his glare fell almost instantly, “Mochi? Shion?” he asked, surprise lacing his tone, evidently just having noticed them.
“No shit,” Shion said, ever the eloquent one.
“The fuck are you guys doing here?” Ran’s voice was rough as he spoke, stepping away from you to pick up a discarded gun from one of Sugawara’s dead men. “I thought Sanzu said-”
“Fuck Sanzu,” Shion interrupted immediately, “He’s a fuckin’ asshole. Kakucho got word of what was happening over here. He told us. We weren’t just going to leave you guys to die.”
“Shion,” Rindou said quietly, and Shion looked uncomfortable at the change in tone, and the gratitude in Rindou’s voice.
“Fuck off, don’t get all sappy,” Shion muttered, “Hurry up and get yourself armed. We gotta get out of here still.”
Rindou nodded, kneeling down to grab a gun, dropping the magazine out to make sure it was loaded before rising back to his feet, pressing his free hand against your back as he led you toward the door, Shion and Mochi taking the front.
You winced at the sound of glass being crushed beneath your shoes, trying to keep your eyes off of the dead bodies littering the ground, trying to keep your mind off of the pain that was numbing the entire left side of your body. You tried to focus on Rindou’s hand warm against your lower back, on Ran walking a little bit in front of you. But it was hard. It was so fucking hard. Your entire arm felt like it was numb and on fire at the same time, you didn’t even dare to look at the wound.
“I’m sorry,” Rindou said quietly, and you turned to look over your shoulder so you could see him but he only looked away. You tried to say something, tell him that there was nothing for him to be sorry for, but Shion was speaking before you could push the words past your lips.
“We cleared out a good number of ‘em downstairs,” he said, pushing open the doors to the stairwell, holding them open for you, Rindou and Ran to pass through. “But I’m sure more’ve already showed up.”
Mochi let out a noise of agreement, “Kakucho texted us while we were on the way up here. Said another car pulled in.”
“Wonderful,” Ran muttered.
“At least it’s not-”
Another gunshot, Shion let out a string of curses, letting the door to the stairwell slam shut just as another three were shot at it from down the hall, denting the metal where his head was. The look Shion threw at the closed door was nothing short of lethal, Mochi shared a long look with him as Rindou stepped in front of both you and Ran.
“Go,” Mochi told the three of you, and all three of your heads snapped toward him instantly, questioning. “You’re not deaf, I said go. Go.”
“We’re not leaving you guys,” Rindou snapped immediately, “Fuck that. We’ll take them out and then get out of here together.”
“It’s a waste of time,” Mochi shot right back, “Ran is hurt bad, so is she. You need to get the two of them out of here, get a head start. We can catch up.”
You shook your head, a bad feeling settling in your stomach, “No, we-”
“Go,” Mochi said, voice harsher, “Go. We’ll be okay. If anything, you guys staying is going to put us at more risk. We’ll handle these guys and catch up.”
You shot a desperate look at Shion, waiting for him to speak up and tell Mochi that it would be better for the three of you to stay to help but he only nodded, grimacing as another round of bullets was fired at the door, “Go,” he said, “We’ll be fine. We’ll meet you at the safehouse. Okay?”
You wanted to argue, and scream at them that this wasn’t necessary but even as you opened your mouth another wave of pain hit you, making you sway on your feet. Rindou steadied you, taking one long look down at you before looking at Ran, who was in an even worse condition. He let out a shaky, frustrated breath, forcing his gaze back to Shion and Mochi.
“Don’t die,” his voice was low, it edged on pleading.
Please don’t die, you echoed silently.
Shion only winked at the three of you, “Back at you,” he said as he motioned for Mochi to join him at the door.
Rindou looked down at you as he walked over to Ran, wrapping an arm around his waist, “You can walk on your own?” he asked, and you nodded, trying to push away the pain and dizziness. “Okay,” he said, “Let’s get out of here.”
---
Ran had passed out on the way back, his aggravated wounds having become too much for his body to handle. Rindou could barely stand to look at you.
Every time you would go into the other room to talk to him, he would turn away or leave the room after sparing one look at your stitched up wound. You tried to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, that it was your choice to go out there, but he would only scoff, shaking his head.
“I let you go,” he would say, voice low, defeated, and when you tried to grab his shoulder and force him to look at you, he would shrug you off and finally leave the room.
He couldn’t do this forever, you tried to convince yourself as you stared at the closed door to the bedroom he had claimed, debating on making another attempt. But even as the words crossed your mind, you knew that Rindou very well could do this forever--he was just as stubborn as Ran when he got like this, just as stubborn as you.
You sighed as you walked away from his door, making your way to Ran’s room instead. The halls were dark, and the safe house itself was chilly. You let out a shaky breath, arms wrapped around your torso as you kept down the hall. Your eyes flashed up to the clock—it was late, it had taken quite a bit to get to the outskirts of Tokyo to the safe house and you’d been there for a few hours already.
You wondered if Ran was awake yet, but you doubted it. He would have come to find you by now if he was, even if he knew damn well that you would have rathered him to stay laying down. You couldn’t help the way your mind began to wander back to Rindou, guilt churning in your chest.
He had done what you wanted—he had let go of you. And you knew from the look in his eyes, from the way his fingers trembled around your wrist that he didn’t want to, that it had taken everything in him to let go of your wrist and hold Ran back.
And you couldn’t imagine what must’ve been going through his head when the first gunshot was shot--thinking that he was the one that let you walk to your death, thinking that he did it for the chance to save Ran but now Ran was going to die anyway and you got yourself killed trying to save the both of them.
You didn’t blame him for not wanting to look at you but it still hurt. You wished you could go back to this morning, before all of this happened, when the two of you had just woken up, basking under the morning sun, still half-asleep and talking quietly to each other as to not wake Ran. You could have stayed there forever with them, Ran curled up behind you, Rindou inches in front of you—it had been good. It had been good for the first time in years, and now it was all shit again.
But at least you were together.
It was the only thought driving you forward. All three of you were alive, all three of you were together. You had to be grateful for the small mercies, not take the smaller things for granted.
You let out a soft breath as you shook your head, continuing down the dim hallway til you reached the cracked open door at the end of it. Ran’s bedroom light was still on, and you rolled your eyes at Rindou, realizing he had probably forgotten to turn it off before leaving the room earlier.
Slowly and carefully, you opened the door, wincing as it creaked under your push. You slipped into the room, not bothering to shut the door behind you, gaze flitting around the old room before you forced yourself to look at where Ran was still fast asleep in bed, laying still beneath the half-strewn off comforter.
You looked over his body, your throat felt tight and your eyes stung as you looked down at the dark bruises visible--they had only gotten worse with the jostling around in the frantic escape from the penthouse. The one on his lower abdomen had spread all the way around his side and, from what you could tell, back, it was an ugly black and red color, and you wished Miss Yua was around to take a look at the wound because you had no idea what you were looking at, all you knew was that it was bad and he was in pain.
His lashes brushed his cheeks as he slept soundly in the bed. Your hand drifted up to his cheek, fingers touching his skin so lightly that you could just barely feel him beneath you. He looked peaceful--more peaceful than you had seen him in a long time. And you knew from Rindou that he hadn’t been sleeping well--not for a while. You didn’t want to wake him, and you knew you should leave, let him get his rest but you couldn’t bring yourself to.
You didn’t want him to wake up alone.
You swallowed thickly as your fingers drifted down from his cheek, trailing down his body to absently trace the tattoos decorating his chest down to the bruises. Your fingers hesitated above them, a sick feeling churning in your stomach.
Your fault.
The words rang loud, deafening in your head. This was your fault. Your choice. Was there another way? Had Sugawara been telling the truth? You knew he wasn’t. He literally admitted it on the phone; he was a scumbag that would have killed Ran had he known just how close the two of you were, and then he would have taken you out too but a part of you couldn’t help but doubt yourself.
What if this hadn’t had to happen? Look at yourself, you can’t even protect the two people you love most.
You shut your eyes, trying to force the tears away. I’m sorry, you wanted to tell him I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m-
Long fingers wrapped around your hand, you opened your eyes and dragged your gaze back up to his face. Violet eyes peered up at you, brows furrowed, “It’s not your fault,” he murmured and you just shook your head and looked away.
“Hey,” Ran’s voice was low, rough from sleep, you forced yourself to look at him again, “It wasn’t your fault.”
“What if there was another option?” you hated how your voice cracked, and you hated how Ran’s thumb smoothed over the back of your hand, “I didn’t even give it any thought, Ran, there could’ve been something else. If I had just took a minute to think I-”
He reached forward with his other hand, palm, coming up to cup your cheek, fingers dancing along your cheekbone. Your words faltered as you leaned into his touch instinctively, eyes lidded as you looked down at him.
“There was no time,” Ran murmured, “You did what was best in the moment. You always do.”
You wanted to argue, to tell him no, he was wrong, but Ran’s expression left no room for any arguments. And even if it had, you weren’t sure if you’d be able to bring yourself to argue with him.
You didn’t have much fight left in you at all anymore. You wanted to give up, lay in their arms and let the rest of the world fade away. Fuck Izanami, fuck your uncle, fuck Sugawara, and fuck Bonten. All you wanted was them, in any and everything way.
“I’m sorry,” you told him, and you weren’t sure how many times you had apologized over the course of the past two or three days but it didn’t feel like it was enough. You were sure that you could chant it out as a mantra for the rest of your life, the only words you ever speak, and you would still feel like it wasn’t enough. There were no words to accurately describe just how sorry you were--not just for what happened to Ran, but for everything else too--and there was nothing you could do, no action to take that would convince yourself of your atonement, even if they did forgive you. “I’m sorry, I’m so sor-”
“Stop that,” Ran said quietly, squeezing your hand softly as his thumb traced over your cheekbone again, “I-”
Ran’s brows furrowed, confliction crossing over his face for just a moment before he let out a deep sigh, “I’m angry at you,” Ran admitted, “I’m so angry at you but… not for the wounds. That wasn’t your fault.”
You tried to look away but he turned your face back toward him, “Don’t do that again,” he said, “Ever. Don’t give yourself up. We don’t trade lives.”
You didn’t want to make that promise. You hoped that you could just stay silent and he would take the silence as an agreement but you should have known better than that. Ran’s jaw clenched when you didn’t respond, you could see his temper flare behind his eyes and you could see him struggle to rein it in.
“Promise me,” he said more insistently, his fingers pressing into your skin just a bit deeper, “Promise me.”
You let out a heavybreath, you tried to close your eyes but he only tightened his grip, making you keep your gaze steady on him.
“I promise,” you finally said after a few moments, even though you knew damn well you’d never be able to deny either of them again. “I promise.”
Ran inhaled sharply, eyes searching yours to make sure you were telling the truth even though you knew it was unnecessary, you didn’t think you’d be able to bring yourself to lie to him--either of them--ever again.
Ran leaned up, and you tried to stop him, noticing how his abdomen tensed as the pain hit him, but you were taken off guard as the hand on your cheek slid behind your head, pulling you down halfway to meet him. You inhaled sharply against his lips, hands frozen on either side of you, eyes wide just for a moment before your body reacted on its own, lips moving against his.
You shouldn’t be doing this, the thought made your hands tremble, but instead of pushing yourself away from him, you only shifted closer. The kiss was different from the one the two of you shared that first night--that one had been fueled by desperation, a loss of control, this one…
This one you wanted. And that wasn’t to say you didn’t want the one from the first night but you wanted this one in a different way, a more intense way.
You brought your hands up to Ran’s face, cupping his cheeks, you let out another shaky breath into his mouth and your eyes slid shut as one of Ran’s hands slipped beneath your shirt, smoothing over your back. His skin was hot against yours, burning, only a few touches and you could barely think straight.
This one was different. The noise you let out into Ran’s mouth would have been embarrassing under any other circumstances, you could feel your face heat up but Ran seemed to pay no mind, more focused on pulling you closer to him, tilting his head to the side to deepen the kiss. You didn’t quite know how to describe it but it had you dizzy, light-headed, not in the same way the one at the club left you.
A strange feeling passed over you as your body pressed flush against Ran’s, half on top of him as his hand slid down your body, wrapping around your thigh to hook your leg over his waist. You should be pushing him away. You knew that. This was wrong, and not just for the obvious reasons—Ran was hurt, you shouldn’t be putting more strain on his body but also-
Someone cleared their throat from the doorway. Your breath caught as you pulled off of Ran. His eyes were hazy, unfocused on you. The violet lidded in a way that had your blood running hot, but you forced yourself to ignore it, pushing up to turn around.
Rindou stared at the two of you, lips parted, an indecipherable expression on his face and a glass of water in his hand, one that he had clearly been bringing for Ran. He looked away sharply, placing the water down on the dresser before he turned on his heel and walked back the way you came.
Oh, you had seen this play out before, you recalled, guilt making your stomach drop as you forced yourself to your feet, you wouldn’t let it end the same way this time.
“Rin, wait,” you called, chasing after him. He was already three-quarters of the way down the hall by the time you caught up to him. “Rin,” you said again, voice catching, “Hold on!”
You grabbed his wrist, but he only shook it right off. Irritated, you went for it again, and this time, he turned it on you, maneuvering his wrist out of your hold and swiveling it to grab yours, holding it at an uncomfortable angle as he pushed you back into the wall, pinning you in place.
“Stop,” his voice was low and rough. You could see the hurt swimming behind his eyes, but it wasn’t just hurt. There was something else there. Regret? Acceptance? You couldn’t tell, “Just stop.”
“What do you mean stop?” you asked, looking up at him, trying to get your wrist free from his hand but you couldn’t, his grip only tightened. “Rin-”
“Stop as in leave me alone,” Rindou said, shaking his head and taking a step away from you, “I made my choice. I let you go. Go back to Ran.”
“You what?” you breathed out, there was a cryptic undertone to his words, one that you weren’t quite sure that you liked, “Rin, what are you talkin-”
“Stop,” he raised his voice, saying your name sharply, and you flinched back. He faltered at your reaction, shoulders dropping, if only slightly, eyes shutting. “Just go back to Ran. Please.”
“No, Rin,” you shook your head, mind running a million miles a minute. I let you go, was he talking about back at the penthouse? He had to be but it didn’t make sense. How did that relate at all to what was happening right now? “Rin, are you talking about back at the penthouse, I don’t-“
“I let you go,” Rindou said again, but there was no anger in his voice this time, only distress. “I let you go. I let go of your wrist and let you walk to your death, I let you go when he was fighting tooth and fucking nail to make you stay, begging me to at least let him go out there with you. I just let you go.”
You faltered, shaking your head and trying to reach back out for his hand but he stepped away, “Rin, I asked you to, that’s not-“
“No,” Rindou said, shutting his eyes, his voice was weak and all you wanted to do was reach out and hold him, “You don’t-you don’t understand. The first gunshot, when it went off. I thought you were dead. I thought you were dead and I had let go of your wrist, I let go so you could sacrifice yourself to try to save us. I let you die for nothing.”
“I’m not dead though, Rin, I’m right here and I’m okay, I-“ he didn’t let you finish. Again.
“That’s not the point, I forfeited any-“ he cut himself off, stammering over his words before he squeezed his eyes shut, rephrasing. “Ran fought for you, and I gave you up. I let go. Go back to him. I’m okay, really.”
“You didn’t give me up, and you didn’t let me go,” you cried out, getting frustrated with his stubbornness. You pushed his chest hard, making him crash back into the opposite wall. “You fucking believed in me, Rindou. Stop throwing a pity parade and-“
“Stop!” Rindou yelled this time, anger flaring in his eyes. And you felt overwhelmed, anxious, because Rindou was getting the wrong idea, understandably, and he was spiraling and you didn’t know what to do and you didn’t want him to feel this way. Because you didn’t want Ran, you wanted them both. “Fucking hell, I know you want him, I saw you two that night at the club. I saw you just now! Why the fuck won’t you let me do the right thing and walk away? Both of you, neither of you fucking give a shit about what I want. He didn’t back then, you don’t now. I’m trying to make this fucking easier on myself. I fucking know you want him and-“
“I want you both!” you shouted at him, interrupting him mid sentence. Rindou froze from where he was standing in front of you, and you froze too, mind spinning as you processed the words that you had just spoken out loud—the same words you had never dared to speak all of those years ago—before you spoke them again, quieter this time, less heat behind them. “I want you both.”
Oh god.
Oh god.
You didn’t move, keeping your gaze trained forward as soon as you fully registered what you had said. What the fuck was wrong with you? Now was not the time for this. You-
“What?” Rindou’s voice was little over a breath. You shook your head and took a step back. He matched your step, keeping the distance, “No, don’t you dare try to back out now. You don’t get to say something like that and then try to pretend you didn’t.”
Your bottom lip trembled. From the corner of your eye, you noticed Ran leaning against the doorframe of his room, watching you, and you had half a mind to snap at him and tell him to get back in bed.
Where had that come from? you tried to ask yourself. But you supposed that wasn’t the question—you had always loved them, from the beginning, the years abroad hadn’t changed that no matter how hard you might’ve tried to convince yourself and Rindou had pushed you into finally admitting it out loud.
You let out a shaky breath, hands fisted tight at your side, “I said what I said. Now isn’t the time though, we should talk about this once we’re out of Tokyo.”
“Technically we’re out of Tokyo,” Ran butted in, eyes sharp and curious as he watched you.
“You know what i mean,” you snapped right back, glaring at him, “Go back to bed.”
“Join me and I will,” he winked and you felt hot as you glared harder before looking away, the embarrassment slowly beginning to hit.
“I-“ you began, closing your eyes when you stuttered over your words, “We shouldn’t talk about something like this until we’re safe.”
“We’ll never be safe,” Rindou murmured and you grimaced, his words weighing heavy on your chest because you knew they were true.
“I don’t really know what else there is to talk about,” you tried a different approach, but from the way Rindou rolled his eyes, you knew it was going to go just as poorly. “I said what I said-“
You were cut off as Ran nodded at Rindou, and Rindou scoffed, grabbing your good arm and dragging you back into Ran’s room. You struggled, kicking the back of his knee and spitting out curses, but he only ignored you.
As soon as the door shut behind the two of you, another heavy silence settled.
“How long?” Ran asked, moving to sit back down on the bed, arm resting on his torso. You raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to elaborate, “How long have you known this?”
You did not want to answer, but they were not giving you a chance to change the conversation and you couldn’t think straight.
“Since we were younger,” you finally said, and they both shared a look. You tilted your head up, trying to hide just how humiliated you felt. “Kids, really.”
Ran snorted, taking a sip of the water that Rindou had brought him, “Could’ve saved me and Rindou a lot of arguments,” he murmured, amused and you forced yourself to look back down from the ceiling.
“What do you mean?” you asked but then your lips twisted down as you remembered Rindou’s words: he didn’t back then, you don’t now.
“Nothing,” they chorused at the same time and you glared at them.
“Are you kidding me? You’re making me answer all this shit but you won’t?” you snapped, moving to rise off the bed but Ran’s arm snapped out quicker, tugging you back down.
You scowled as your back hit the bed, wincing as you jostled your bad arm around, “That hurt,” you muttered, and he gave you a half-assed apology. You tried to sit up but his palm pressed against your chest, pushing you back down, “You’re not funny,” you told Ran.
His lips curled up into a sly smile that nearly had you squirming, “I’m not trying to be,” he said and you let out a half-nervous, half-irritated breath, looking to Rindou for help but he only pointedly looked away.
“Why did you leave then?” Rindou was changing the subject and you wanted to throw a fit because you knew you wouldn’t be able to stop him from doing it. “If you knew back then.”
“Because I couldn’t let my feelings get in the way of my goals,” you said right back and Rindou winced, looking away.
“We weren’t your goal?”
“You guys were always my ultimate goal,” you said quietly, giving up on trying to get Ran to let you sit up, staring at the ceiling. “But there were things I had to do first. I told you last night, the detours… there were just… a lot more than I thought. It took longer than I thought. But being with you guys, that was always my goal in the end. You guys are all I’ve ever wanted.”
Neither of them spoke for a while and Ran finally let go of you, you immediately took the opportunity to sit up, shooting him a glare before you settled back down, cross-legged between them on the bed.
“We shouldn’t be doing this now,” you spoke softly again, staring at your lap, “There’s too much going on, we still need to figure out how to get out of Japan and-“
“We’re not getting out of Japan until shit calms down, there’s no way. Unless you have a secret private airport you can bring us to,” Rindou countered and your shoulders slumped.
The only private airports you knew of were your uncle’s, and Sugawara would have eyes all over them right now.
“That’s what I thought,” Ran’s eyes danced with a sort of delight you hadn’t seen in them for a long time. Next to him, Rindou looked just as interested and an anxious feeling settled in your stomach as the two of them shared a look—they had always been most dangerous when they worked together. “So how ‘bout you sit back and relax and tell us everything this time?”
WC: 12.5k
REBLOGS AND FEEDBACK GREATLY APPRECIATED !!!
— feedback on character development and story progression pls do not nitpick little mistakes — i didn’t even run this chapter thru grammarly 🥹
semi, daichi, Akashi and tendo with an s/o that wants to do Barbie movie marathon
hewwo! thanks for the request but pls don't forget to be kind in requesting things I don't love being told what to do like that but I understand that wasn't the intention ♡
HQ Boys with an S/O That Wants to do a Barbie Marathon
SEMI
doesn't care, honestly might have been the one to suggest it
knows all the words to all the songs too, fight me on this one
DAICHI
is definitely embarrassed and will want to fall asleep
but he doesn't because you're so excited and he loves seeing you all happy
AKAASHI
another one that does not care
he's never seen them but figures he might be able to pull from them for his work, "they must be popular for a reason"
TENDOU
definitely was the one to suggest it when he saw a peek of your collection
will want to do it from morning until the evening, refuses to get up even for bathroom breaks
I love your blog.
and I love you ♡
Soft Yandere Izana my beloved. <33
sweet soft yandere!izana who always knows what's best for you! even if it means trapping you for a little, it's okay though you'll learn to love him eventually ♡
soft yandere!izana who can't stand to see you sad so he'll concede sometimes, letting you see your friends and family; he's so thoughtful!
soft yandere!izana who'll let kakucho take you out shopping when he can tell you're getting tired of him because he loves you and just wants you to be happy (╥﹏╥)
soft yandere!izana who eventually succeeds in making you fall in love because how could you not after everything he's done for you? he never punishes you the way you know others would plus he loves you unconditionally!
“so do you come after here often ;)”
“we live here idiot, do the fucking dishes”
RAN, hanma, takemitchy, CHIFUYU, baji || gojo, INUMAKI || ATSUMU, konoha, kuroo, TAKETORA, nishinoya
