[ilyannarozanova]

If Ilya and Shane actually wrestled like no holds barred to the death full competition mode rough and tumble fighting, I think most of the time Shane would win. Shane is used to Ilya throwing him around and pinning him down, but Ilya gets tossed to the ground once and gets so turned on he passes out. Shane yells at him and pins him and he just gives up because he's so horny he cannot actually think. Their friends are like oh my god Shane you're hurting him! And Ilya is lying there under him so so so pleased like yayyyy I love being pinned by my huge sexy jock boyfriend #mysexyjockboyfriend DO NOT SAVE HIM he is exactly where he wants to be!!

[rainbow-femme]

They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help

After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly

And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?

Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose

Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.

[ilyannarozanova]

Being rich does not stop Ilya from being Shane's sugarbaby. That man is texting Shane like Heeyyyy I want this [insert bullshit item of the day] so bad pls can u get for me? I will make it worth it for u 😏 and Shane is like Ilya you're rich you can buy it yourself?? And Ilya is like noooo you buy it for me. As a gift 😜

Shane is kind of exasperated but also delighted because he lovesssss taking care of his baby boy so of course he buys Ilya whatever he wants. Ilya is so proud to be thee Shane Hollander's sexy controversially young (by one month) boyfriend and he brags about it constantlyyy after they're married. Like Oh yes I was just sexy sidepiece but he fell in love with me so hard he married me. And Shane is standing next to him like 🙄 as if he didn't just buy Ilya $2000 worth of fancy appetizers and drinks on their date last night.

They have wild kinky sex about it too. Obviously.

[teennewssource]

hot girl summer is over it’s scary woman winter

[thisuserusesthis]

[kaijuerotica]

the chasm between who Irina actually was and who Irina was to Ilya is massive and cavernous and such a fun place to play in if you're a sicko freak who likes to hurt your own feelings

[gaygoatshane]

he couldn't believe he was being asked if he liked girls

[eldritchazure]

[bugslibraryy]

You knowwww Shane and Ilya are those big fat dorks who need to be one one body- we already know this yes so you know they do the stupid talking into each others mouths thinks because they just, don’t see a reason to pull back. Shane will break their wet soft kiss just a millimetre and keep his lips pressed to Ilya’s. “Do you want to defrost the soup mum made us for dinner? Or we can do that Thai salad recipe you found” words muffled because he’s half speaking them into Ilya’s mouth. Ilya humming and rubbing his back as he’s like “he’s too hot for soup, let’s the make the salad.

Or when Ilya gets home from being out and Shane greets him at the door, arms wrapped around his neck kissing him soundly- he’s pulling his tongue from Shane’s mouth to ask “miss me sweetheart?” And Shane is like “not at all” and then shoving his hands up under Ilya’s shirt. And then a few kisses later Shane is mumbling into Ilya’s lips “did you have dinner out? There’s leftovers”

Or post sex, happy hot mushy glow, pink cheeked and tangled up in a mess of each other kissing kissing kissing slow as Ilya’s hands cup Shane’s face, fingers trace his jaw gently. “Not too sore?” Ilya asked nose smushed against Shane’s, lips moving Shane’s with his words. His hand rubbing Shane’s hip gently. “It’s good” Shane is exhaling back, before their tongues taste each other again. Then Ilya “okay, but we have bath yes? I got the nice bath salts” his breath is all over Shane’s face and his eyelashes are smudging against the high of his cheekbone near his freckles. “Yeah, okay, bath” Shane replied and his teeth mash Ilya’s a little

[boitterfly]

obsessed w ilya in that tampa hotel room throwing all he has against shane’s persistence like you don’t like me/ don’t fucking do this/ we can’t be something/ i wouldn’t be able to go home again/ i don’t want to find out and none of it stops shane for even a second its truly shane’s unstoppable force vs. ilya’s extremely moveable object

[alfart23]

Shane’s version :)

For anyone who said something like Shane would definitely want one of these shirts too, here you go! I’m choosing to believe that Shane would be the type to surprise Ilya by getting himself one totally of his own volition. And of course the glasses were a very essential and intentional addition to the look (he knows what he’s doing).

Ilya’s next text is “and don’t take off the shirt”

[boitterfly]

let’s all remember that ilya professed his love to shane twice in a whispered rush and then in a hoarse tearful confession and then shane hit him with the holy shit and i love you too in his startled flat affect and then ilya’s entire face crumpled and he collapsed on top of him and shane held his head in both his big hands and kissed him on the forehead twice. let’s hold on to that ok

[lastoneout]

I know this is a tiny part of the wider problems born of diet culture, fatphobia, classicism, and racism but like god the idea that "healthy" food must inherently taste bad has completely ruined us as a society.

[lastoneout]

Every time you feel bad for having coffee with cream and sugar or ranch on your salad or putting extra butter and salt on your veggies I want you to imagine the spirit of John Harvey Kellogg in front of you and then I want you to kill him with a real gun and eat your delicious food in peace.

[boitterfly]

not here 👀 rozanov you better get off👀 you suck My dick! 👀 why did you think it was ok to sext me before the game!?👀 please stop..👀

[boitterfly]

shane voice nooooooo

[ilyapasta]

The first time Shane and Ilya have like a normal domestic day together, post coming out to Shane’s parents, I think there’s probably a moment when both of them are like— holy shit that’s my guy. And some wires are getting crossed because they’ve lived extremely homosocial lives where they spent a large amount of time playing a single gender sport where they put their identities to the side for the team always about the team and the guys and yeah we’re really clicking out there on the ice. So they know about chemistry. They know about communication. But the thing that makes them different from other hockey players is that they’re not just in the rabble, not just one of the guys. They’re at the top, kind of doomed to be alone by virtue of just how good they are. Maybe they never thought they would have the camaraderie that other players get, that sort of pseudo military bond of being in the trenches together that athletes feel.

But when Shane sees Ilya shuffling sleepy around the kitchen in the morning, mumbling something like “gonna make you the best eggs Hollander where the fuck is your whisk” or later when they’re getting ready to have dinner with Shane’s parents and Shane helps Ilya pick out a parent-friendly button-down from his own closet, doing up the buttons for him instead of undressing him for once and taking a look at the result (“no, let’s try the this one, the color is better, maybe”) I think they’re both like holy shit this is my guy. This is the team I’ve always wanted, above the one where we play hockey on TV. And it crosses some wires in their brains because oh this is what it’s supposed to feel like to have someone have your back. Not that they both aren’t beloved by their teams but we honestly don’t see it besides the transactional nature of their skills (maybe Hayden is an exception with Shane, but really Ilya’s closest person in the show is Svetlana, he has no one close in the books) weighed with how they get the team accolades.

This is why I don’t think the commitment part was ever going to be hard for them. They are both craving a person, someone that is just there for them. They were conditioned for this type of bond, promised brotherhood when they started hockey, but never reaped the benefits because of their talent. Sure, Shane could have found a nice man in Montreal, but this is so much deeper than just finding someone you want to date and falling in love that way.

It’s also why I think despite marriage not being required for commitment, they want it. They want a formal distinction saying no, this one’s mine. This is my team. And we’re going to win. At what, who knows, but they want that win.

[ilyapasta]

Since this post is circulating again today, and I'm 100% more insane since I wrote it, I'd like to offer another layer: Shane and Ilya are starkly unaware that they are characters in romance novels. They aren't looking for love. If you asked Ilya what kind of story he was in, he would tell you he is a rock-star-esque figure that will burn bright and flame out young in some kind of tragedy. If you asked Shane, he would probably tell you to fuck off but when he thinks about it he would say he's in one of those masculine adventure/sports stories, where he rallies a team of men behind him to believe in themselves and defeat the odds. Shane is maybe looking for a "wife" because he's trying to conform throughout the whole novel and with Rose in the show, but looking for a heterosexual partner so that you can be normal is not romance novel behavior. There has to be some kind of rebellion. There has to be a reason you shouldn't be together, and they have plenty.

But it takes them so long, way longer than other romance novels, to even admit to themselves, let alone each other, that they are hurtling towards a committed partnership with someone they not only love, but deeply respect and desire life-long companionship with. Remember, they like each other. Something I love about Heated Rivalry is that there's no tearful confession in the rain, there's no heated first-time consummation after the love confession, because by the time they confess their love in bed together at the cottage, after they lay out their contents of their hearts—Shane with his "plan" and Ilya with his leap of faith to be the first one to say "I love you"—it's inevitable. They have had sex in almost every possible way, they know each other through their hockey play, and even though they haven't plumbed the depths of emotional intimacy yet, they know they want it. They're hungry to know more. To know everything. But they waited until the last possible moment, alone in the quiet wilderness where no one can perceive them or offer opinion (for now), to admit it.

To bring it back to the original thought: They've already done everything to become the other person's undisputed guy. From their POV: Oh shit, we're the protagonists of a romance novel. Loving each other is actually the most important, impactful thing that will ever happen to us. We will not fall into tragedy or obscurity, our story will have a happy ending, because we are together, and that's where our story ends. Not in death, not in retirement, not in loneliness and conformity, but with love, partnership, and commitment.

Crazy motherfuckers.

(thank you to @bea-goldfish for letting me workshop this analysis in your DMs last night lol)

[tinylilemrys]

Just thinking about Ilya making the playoffs for the first time with the Cens and getting texts from Yuna and David about it.

Yuna's one is like, "HOLY SHIT THE CENTAURS ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS! I never thought I'd be so excited to say that. 😂 This is such a huge achievement and I couldn't be more proud of you! This means I'm finally going to have to cave and by an Ottawa jersey. Don't tell David I told you, but he's still drying his eyes about it. Bubbly when you and Shane come over on Saturday for SURE, okay? Love you lots. SO proud."

And David's is like, "You did it, Cap! I know how hard you worked for this and it's paid off. We'll be cheering you on for every game. I am so unbelievably proud of you, kiddo. Love you lots - can't wait to see you and Shane on Saturday."

And Ilya just sits there unable to breathe because he's never had a text like this after making the playoffs except maybe from Svetlana. He replies to the messages, eyes blurry with tears, and spends the rest of the night opening them at random times, just overwhelmed by how loved he truly is.

[wolvieispunk]

Yeah i'll share it again

[dontcallmeanythingplz]

Head canon

Ilya turns off his Find My Friend location and Shane gets paranoid when he notices and works up the courage to ask why in the most nonchalant-i trust my boyfriend-he used to be a playboy but he swears he's monogamous now-i can be chill about this kind of way and Ilya is forced to admit that it's because he didn't want Shane to know how often he goes to McDonald's.

Shane says this is worse than cheating.

[russianblush]

HEATED RIVALRY — 1.01: Rookies

[m4s0ch1st1c-pup]

Shane and Ilya walking into the locker room to get ready for practice

Ilya starts taking his clothes off and suddenly the rest of the team is chirping him and Shane about what they got up to last night

Both Ilya and Shane look at each other in confusion before both look down at Ilya's body and suddenly realize what everyone's talking about

Ilya is absolutely COVERED in bite marks

On his neck, shoulders, arms, thighs, chest, back, everywhere

Ilya smirks before saying "is not what you think, husband just uses me like chew toy when the world tries to fight him"

Shane was simply biting Ilya the night before as a stim because he chewlery wasn't clean and he felt overstimulated, Ilya, of course, let him have free reign and proceeded to get chewed on for hours