[bagofbonesmp3]

a story in 3 parts

[prokopetz]

What we’ve gotta understand is that “the modern Internet is abolishing spaces for adults” and “the modern Internet is abolishing space for children” are compatible phenomena. Neither group is being favoured: the modern Internet is abolishing spaces for adults (i.e., because grown-up topics aren’t advertiser friendly) and the modern Internet is abolishing spaces for children (i.e., because online communities which consist principally of people who have no money are hard to sell things to). The Internet that contemporary corporate interests are trying to build isn’t a space for anyone – it’s the digital equivalent of an Ikea showroom.

[prokopetz]

Like, when I say that the greater part of contemporary social media is fundamentally hostile to human life, I’m not indulging in hyperbole or constructing an ironic metaphor. I mean that 100% literally.

[ayeforscotland]

This is the funniest tweet I’ve ever seen.

[thelazyaesthetic]

Dude, you can’t just post this without showing what that guy casually described as “a plate of fish and chips”

[scope-dogg]

How much of a twat do you have to be to have fish and chips that looks like this

[dickslapthestate]

Six chip twat

[treecitysessions]

[skimble-shanks-the-railway-cat]

Receiving a Werther’s Derivative from my poser grandma

[helbrides]

how it feels to listen to bruce springsteen past 10pm

[himynameisemail]

[men-iss-vess-ull-deactivated202]

so called "free thinkers" when there's a bug on the ceiling

[theycantstopthesignal]

I mean yeah man, what if?

[frot-cember-deactivated20241214]

if bridgerton got rid of all the lame british people and became a show about hunky orc boys making out it would be the greatest television of all time

[postdespair]

[beaft]

google help me

[beaft]

the thing is, stephen king is generally pretty good at creating complex, well-rounded characters, which makes it all the more jarring when one of those characters abruptly comes out with what i'll term a "kingism". i don't know how best to define a kingism other than "you'll know it when you see it". it's the voice of the author intruding on the voice of the character, and in this case the voice of the author has a bad sense of humour and is ravenously, inexplicably horny

[beaft]

random example of a kingism aka "he would not fucking say that"

[beaft]

this too is a kingism

[beaft]

one of the hallmarks of a kingism is that when a character is being Horny On Main (or In Maine), they can never do it in a normal way. they have to come up with a sequence of words that nobody has ever said before in the history of the english language. here's another example:

[beaft]

i'm starting a collection

[mikkeneko]

[dykemd]

only a man under 5’5 could have this much hatred at his disposal

[junglejim4322]

Thank you keemstar for providing the world with one of the funniest tweets of all time

[benihana-circumcision]

[deadeyesopened]

ive gotten so much mileage out of this tweet. every time i see something on the internet that makes me mad i just think to myself "people in real life: hey man how's it going" and i keep it pushing

[hotvampireadjacent]

How are we still having homestuck drama in the year of our lord 2024

[hotvampireadjacent]

“I’m not racist im attending a racism in homestuck workshop” ??????????????

[specialmouse-deactivated2025060]

You come to me… on the day of my organized homestuck workshop specifically met to discuss racism… and accuse me of ignoring and downplaying andrew hussie’s racism

[landscape-suicide-deactivated20]

It is really funny how much some tumblr users build their understanding of what is taboo in a degenerate immoral fashion vs what is taboo in a subversive radical fashion exclusively on aesthetic appeal so they’re willing to drastically alter their moral stances based on what media they’re obsessing over currently

[landscape-suicide-deactivated20]

Blogger obsessed with posting about sexual cannibalism and toxic doomed yuri complaining about incest fetishization… you’re two Ginger Snaps gifsets and a Flowers in the Attic excerpt away from trying to recreate Single White Female with your mutuals

[adhdavinci]

[pleasuresoftheharbor]

sorry but this is so so funny. alcoholics drug addicts and those interested in casual sex RISE UP!!!!!

[97642]

this post but instead of "go to clubs" it's "do stand up comedy"