sex with a stoner
fratboy!choso x bestfriend!reader
your stoner best friend choso and you are deeeep in sexual tension, you are his girl, but not really his girl. cuddling, forehead kisses, being glued to eachothers hip, it eventually simmers down until neither of you can take it anymore. (my favourite work i've done so far) (mdni, smut with a shit ton of plot, angst (not really), fluff, comfort.)
wc: 16k || art creds: @/einrvji
smut with so, so much plot.
choso kamo is the kind of boy people notice without realizing theyāre staring. heās not loud, never one to demand a roomās attention, but something about him pulls you in, the lazy grace of someone whoās always just a little bit stoned and completely at peace with himself.
he throws the best parties on campus, the kind that arenāt just about getting drunk or high, but about the vibe. incense burning in the corner, led lights set to red or purple, trap playing softly over speakers. and yet, youāre the only one who really knows him.
you, the sweet girl who never misses a single one of his parties. the one always curled up next to him on the couch with a red solo cup of something you can barely taste, your legs draped over his lap, your cheek pressed to his shoulder. itās always been like this. ever since freshman year, when you met him during that stupid icebreaker event on campus that neither of you wanted to go to.
somehow, youād ended up next to him. not even talking at first. just being. and then heād pulled one earbud out and offered it to you without saying anything, and youād heard frank oceanās āivyā playing soft and crackly from his phone. youād smiled at him, and heād smiled back. just a little.
after that, it was like something clicked. you didnāt have to try with choso. you just existed in each otherās space like you were meant to.
youāre sweet, outgoing, a little flirty, always the first one to compliment someoneās outfit or remember their birthday. people love you for your light, your laughter, the way you make everyone feel seen.
but when it comes to closeness, to real comfort? thatās reserved for choso.
itās a mystery to most people. you, the glittering, glowing party girl, and choso, the stoner boy who doesnāt even have social media. but it makes perfect sense to anyone whoās seen the two of you together.
you show up to his parties before anyone else does. you help him string the lights, pick the playlist, bring snacks no one asked for but everyone eats. youāre the one sitting on the counter while he rolls, sipping from a straw and babbling about your week while he nods, smiling faintly, muttering things like āthatās wild, ma,ā or āyo, youāre too nice for them.ā
and during the parties, youāre never far. you gravitate toward each other like magnets, slipping into place the way you always do. chosoās usually on the couch, arms stretched over the backrest, and youāre tucked under his arm without even thinking. you lean into him when you laugh. he rests his chin on your shoulder. he passes you drinks and you take tiny sips before handing them back to him with a wrinkle of your nose.
and itās so easy. dangerously easy.
chosoās never been one to push. heās got feelings, real ones, deeper than heāll ever admit out loud, but he keeps them buried. not because he doesnāt want you. he wants you in a way that scares him sometimes. in quiet moments, when heās too high and youāre asleep on his chest, he thinks about what it would feel like to kiss you. to be yours for real. but heās content, at least for now. content to have you like this.
you give choso a kind of peace he didnāt know he was missing. before you, things were kind of blurry. background noise. but with you, itās all color. you laugh and the whole room tilts toward you. you touch his hand and itās like static electricity under his skin. he pretends he doesnāt notice. he jokes, he teases, he lets it pass.
because he thinks heād rather have you like this, close and real and warm, than risk losing you completely.
and you? you love him. maybe too much.
youāve never said it out loud, not even to maki or shoko, but you know it. you feel it every time you see him laugh at something you said, every time he lifts your chin to tuck your hair behind your ear, every time he waits for you outside class just because he felt like it. choso is yours, in a way no one else is. and you donāt know what to do with that.
maybe youāre scared to ruin it too.
itās not just the friendship, itās the rhythm. the quiet glances, the shared playlists, the way you always, always end up in his bed after parties, clothes still on, hearts too full.
youāll lay there in the dark, both of you wide awake, and youāll wonder if he feels it too. if he notices the way your breath hitches when his fingers brush your waist. if he hears the way your voice gets softer when you say his name.
but neither of you ever says anything. not really. not yet.
thereās something unsaid between you, always has been, something glowing and soft and maybe a little fragile. like the chords of āivyā hanging in the air, too tender to touch. itās in the way he looks at you when youāre not watching. in the way you linger at his door after a party, lip gloss smudged and heart aching. in the way he lets his hand rest on the small of your back just a little too long.
itās a love thatās still blooming. hesitant. deep-rooted. and for now, maybe thatās enough.
maybe not forever.
~
the partyās already full by the time you get there, but you know exactly where to find him.
bass thumps through the floor like a second pulse, red lights spilling down the hallway, laughter echoing from the kitchen where someoneās poured jungle juice into a mixing bowl. bodies press close in the living room, the air thick with smoke, perfume, sweat, but none of it touches you. not really. not when you know where youāre going.
you slip past people who call your name, who compliment your outfit, who try to keep you still, but youāre already moving, already smiling like youāve got a secret. because you do.
heās on the couch. he always is.
slouched like he was poured there, long legs spread, a blunt pinched between his fingers. thereās a few people around him, suguruās sitting on the floor, half-asleep against his knee, gojoās perched on the armrest talking to some girl, but he doesnāt really look at anyone. just stares at the smoke curling above him, the red light making shadows under his eyes.
until he sees you.
chosoās head tilts slightly. his gaze sharpens, just barely. his mouth softens, corners curling up into something small, lazy, private.
āyo,ā he says, voice low and smooth like honeyed smoke. āthere you are.ā
and just like that, youāre home.
you drop down next to him without a word, tucking your legs up on the couch, leaning into his side like you were made to fit there. his arm lifts automatically to rest behind you, and your bare shoulder brushes against his chest, skin to skin. he smells like weed and citrus and something warm, like sunbaked cotton. familiar. dangerous.
āi brought you chips,ā you say, holding up a bag. ābecause you never remember to feed people when you throw these things.ā
he laughs, soft and breathy, and takes the bag, tossing it onto the table without looking.
āyouāre the only one who eats at my parties,ā he murmurs, dragging the blunt to his lips. ātheyāre lucky you show up.ā
he inhales, slow and deep. lets it sit in his chest for a moment. then he turns his head toward you and exhales, deliberately, slow, a trail of smoke that ghosts over your collarbone. itās not on purpose, but it is. everything choso does is like that. unbothered. intimate. effortless.
your heart stutters.
āyou look good,ā he adds, like it just occurred to him. his eyes dip, trace your legs, the cut of your dress, the gloss on your lips. āreal good.ā
you smile, sweet and slow, like youāre soaking it in.
āyouāre stoned.ā
he shrugs. āyeah. still true, though.ā
you nudge his thigh with your knee, and he smirks that lazy, barely-there grin that never quite reaches his eyes unless itās you.
the party swells around you. bodies dance in the center of the room, the music gets louder, someoneās yelling in the kitchen about the beer pong table. but in your little corner of the couch, everything is slowed down. hazy. sacred.
he keeps passing the blunt, and you keep refusing with that little scrunch of your nose he always teases you about.
ādonāt know how you come to my house every week and still donāt smoke,ā he says, flicking ash into a red solo cup.
ādonāt know how you survive without eating dinner like an adult,ā you shoot back.
he chuckles, tipping his head back. his throat stretches long, his hoodie slipping off one shoulder to reveal the black ink of a tattoo just under his collarbone. you donāt even pretend not to look. choso doesnāt pretend not to notice.
āyou missed me?ā he asks after a beat, quieter now. the smokeās made him slow, softer around the edges. more honest.
you glance up at him, lips parted. āi was here last weekend.ā
āyeah, and then the whole week happened.ā he shrugs, lazily. āi got bored.ā
you nudge your way closer. your knee slides between his. āyou say that like you donāt have other friends.ā
he hums. ādonāt hit the same.ā
youāre both quiet for a second. itās a thick, heady silence, not awkward, not tense. just full. full of everything thatās been building since freshman year. everything you donāt say. everything you both feel in moments like this, when youāre a little too close and heās looking at your mouth and his hand is resting just a little too low on your waist.
you want to kiss him. god, you do. but not yet. not here.
so instead you lean forward, just enough to rest your head on his shoulder. you feel him go still for a second, then relax, melting back into you.
you stay like that. for a long time
later, when the house gets louder and hotter and someone pulls you up to dance, you feel his eyes on you.
youāre not a wild dancer, you move like youāre in your own little world, fluid and soft and smiling. some guy tries to grind up behind you and you immediately peel away, laughing as you shake your head. but when you look over, just once, you see choso watching from the couch.
his eyes are darker now. still lazy, still half-lidded, but focused. pinned on you like heās memorizing the way your dress moves, the way your hair sticks to the sweat on your collarbone. one hand resting on his knee. the blunt long gone.
you move back to him eventually, of course you do, and he opens the space beside him again like he knew you would.
āhave fun out there, superstar?ā he asks, gaze flicking over you.
you shrug, settling back into him. āmissed my favorite dance partner.ā
he raises a brow. āyou donāt dance with me.ā
you grin. āexactly.ā
he snorts, shaking his head. you rest your hand on his thigh, fingers splayed over ripped denim, and he doesnāt flinch. doesnāt move. just lets you stay there. touching him. like you always do.
like you always will.
when the party starts dying down and the lights dim even lower, when suguruās asleep and gojoās disappeared and the couch is just the two of you again, you curl into him like you belong there.
he yawns, one arm around your shoulders, hand playing lazily with the strap of your dress.
āyou crashing here?ā he asks, already knowing the answer.
you nod, cheek pressed to his chest. āif thatās cool.ā
he makes a soft sound, something between a hum and a laugh, and dips his chin to brush his mouth against your temple. not a kiss, exactly. just a press. warm, soft. barely there.
āalways.ā
you smile, closing your eyes for a second. his hand is still resting on your waist, fingers tracing absent little shapes into your skin like heās not even thinking about it.
you could fall asleep like this. youāve done it before.
but he shifts a little, murmurs, ācome on, ma. letās get off this fuckinā couch. my backās killinā me.ā
you whine quietly as he moves, and he laughs again, a lazy rumble in his chest and slides an arm around your waist to help you up.
ādrama queen,ā he says, tugging you to your feet with effortless strength.
he doesnāt let go.
you move through the sea of red cups and leftover smoke, past the people half-passed out in the hallway, with his hand still slung around your waist. like itās normal. like itās instinct. your arm hooks around his middle, and you lean into his side as you walk, slow and steady, like youāve done this a hundred times. because you have.
chosoās room is down the hall. itās the only one with a broken doorknob and a blacklight taped above the bed, buzzing faintly. it smells like weed and clean laundry and him.
you kick off your shoes the second you walk in and collapse face-first into the unmade bed, limbs spread.
he laughs, low and indulgent, then flops down beside you.
āyo, scoot over,ā he mumbles, nudgin your hip with his.
āyou scoot,ā you shoot back, voice muffled by the blanket.
he doesnāt argue. just lets his body melt sideways until your shoulders touch again. you shift your head onto his chest without thinking, cheek to the soft fabric of his hoodie.
and there it is again. home.
āthis party was kinda ass,ā you say.
ānah,ā he says softly. āyou were here.ā
your stomach flips.
but you donāt say anything. donāt need to. you just lie there, breathing in sync, your hands curled in the hem of his hoodie while his fingers play with your hair, slow, lazy twirls that make your eyelids flutter.
āremember the first one?ā you ask, voice hushed now. āthe freshman-year party where we met?ā
choso smiles at the ceiling. āfuck yeah. you were wearing that little white dress and yellinā at some guy who spilled beer on your shoes.ā
āhe ruined them,ā you murmur indignantly.
āand i was just sittinā on the porch, watchinā the whole thing,ā he grins. āhigh as shit. thought you were hot as hell.ā
you lift your head to look at him, one brow raised. āyou still say you donāt remember how we ended up talking.ā
āi donāt. swear to god.ā he shrugs. āone second iām finishing a blunt, next thing i know youāre sitting next to me like youād been there forever.ā
āi probably just decided you looked safe,ā you say, settling back down. āand hot. but, like, quiet hot.ā
he chuckles, slow and low. āquiet hot?ā
you nod. ālike⦠hot in a way that doesnāt try. like you didnāt even know it.ā
ādamn,ā he mutters. āflirting with me now?ā
āalways.ā
his hand slides down from your hair to your shoulder, warm and broad and steady.
āthatās why i fuck with you,ā he says after a moment. āyouāre real.ā
you blink.
ālike, people show up to my parties for the vibes or whatever. you show up to make sure i eat dinner.ā
you laugh. āwell someone has to.ā
ānah, but for real,ā he says. āyouāve been showinā up since day one. always got my back. always know what i need before i even do. shitās crazy.ā
your throat goes tight. but he doesnāt sound emotional. he sounds calm. sure. like itās just a fact of life, gravity, weed, you.
he doesnāt say it like itās a confession.
he says it like itās just the truth.
āyou do the same for me,ā you murmur, voice small.
his thumb strokes your arm, slow.
āyeah,ā he says. āi know.ā
the room hums with silence after that. not heavy. not awkward. just real.
he lets you lie there on his chest, the beat of his heart under your ear, the rise and fall of his breathing making you feel safe in a way nothing else does.
you shift after a few minutes, and his hand moves automatically , tugs the blanket up over you both, settles you closer, fingers smoothing over your arm like itās second nature.
he doesnāt flirt with anyone the way he does with you. doesnāt touch anyone like this. people know youāre close, but they donāt get it.
they donāt know how choso listens to you rant for hours about your classes even when heās half-asleep. how he always keeps snacks in his room he doesnāt like, just because you do. how heās seen you cry at 3am and didnāt say a word, just pulled you onto his chest and played with your hair until you calmed down.
how youāve cleaned up after every party. how you always know when he needs water. how you never smoke but you always light his blunts for him.
they donāt know that youāve been doing this, just like this, since freshman year.
youāre not together.
but this? this is something else.
āyou good?ā he mumbles, his voice starting to get gravelly with sleep.
you nod, curled into his side.
āyou?ā
āmhmm.ā he exhales through his nose, deep and slow. ādonāt leave before i wake up.ā
āi never do.ā
he hums, already drifting.
you close your eyes.
"night, cho."
"night, babe."
and in the dark, in his bed, wrapped in the quiet warmth of chosoās heartbeat and the hush of something unspoken between you, you fall asleep.
right where youāre supposed to be.
~
the sunās too fucking bright.
chosoās got his hood pulled low, hands stuffed in the front pocket of his faded sweatshirt, hoodie sleeves bunched at his wrists like armor against the cold. his airpods are in, but heās not playing anything. just using them to avoid eye contact. to avoid people.
his chem lecture starts in twelve minutes. heās not rushing.
heās never rushing.
the quadās half-full with undergrads moving in packs, laughing too loud for this hour. he weaves through them like a shadow, dark-eyed and slow-moving, sleep still clinging to his bones.
he hasnāt showered. hasnāt brushed his hair. smells faintly like weed and sleep and your lotion, the floral kind you always keep in your bag.
heās halfway across the quad when he hears it.
āyo.ā
he looks up.
toji.
posted up on a low wall near the main staircase, nursing a large iced coffee and wearing the same zip-up heās worn every morning since choso met him. he looks good, like he always does, jaw sharp, eyes tired, posture loose in that older-guy way that makes people think twice about messing with him.
choso pulls out one airpod. āyo.ā
āyou look like shit,ā toji says, amused.
choso shrugs. āfeel fine.ā
ālate night?ā
āalways.ā
toji grins. ābet.ā
choso wanders over, boots crunching gravel, and leans against the wall next to him. tojiās got that lazy menace vibe, like he could break someoneās nose or fall asleep in the sun, it could go either way. choso respects it.
theyāre not close, but theyāre good.
āyou throw last night?ā toji asks.
āyeah. packed out.ā
āheard. saw some dude getting dragged out by the neck around one.ā
choso huffs a little. āsukuna. again.ā
āno shit?ā toji laughs. āthat guyās a walking lawsuit.ā
āgot blood on my stairs,ā choso mutters. āruined the rug.ā
ātragic.ā
theyāre quiet for a second. choso watches a squirrel dart across the walkway. toji sips his coffee.
āhow much you make off the door?ā
ācouple hundred. enough for groceries. gas. weed.ā
toji nods like thatās the natural order of things. āyou ever think about pledging?ā
choso snorts. ānah.ā
āyouād run that shit,ā toji says. āturn those little rich boys inside out.ā
āiām not good with rules.ā
āfuck rules.ā
choso grins a little. āyou sound like yuki.ā
āi taught yuki,ā toji says, deadpan.
that gets a real laugh out of choso, low and amused, breath curling in the cold air.
āyou got chem?ā toji asks after a moment.
āyeah. lab.ā
ātough.ā
āi'm so fucking hungover.ā
toji smirks. āso. last night. you go home alone?ā
choso shrugs. ānah. crashed with her.ā
toji looks at him. not surprised. not shocked. just curious.
āy/n?ā
āyeah.ā
a beat.
āyou guys together now or what?ā
choso looks up, brows drawn. ānah.ā
toji raises an eyebrow. āhuh. figured that wouldāve happened by now.ā
āwhy?ā
āyouāre always with her.ā
āyeah.ā
āyou sleep in the same bed?ā
choso shrugs again, easy and lowkey like it doesnāt mean anything. like itās normal. āall the time.ā
toji whistles under his breath, grinning. āyouāre a better man than me.ā
ānot like that,ā choso mutters, looking away.
āright,ā toji says, smirking. ānot like that.ā
choso stays quiet. doesnāt explain. doesnāt elaborate. he just lets it sit in the air between them like secondhand smoke, warm, familiar, a little dangerous.
because it isnāt like that.
not yet.
but toji doesnāt push. just nods, takes another slow sip of his coffee, and claps choso on the shoulder with a rough hand.
āyouāre cool,ā he says. ābut if you ever fuck that up, someone else wonāt be.ā
choso just exhales through his nose. shrugs.
he knows,
he knows.
~
choso slouches in his stool at station 4B, safety goggles pushed up into his messy hair, long fingers lazily rotating a test tube over the bunsen flame. heās supposed to be running a titration, but heās running on three hours of sleep and an edible that hasnāt stopped hitting since breakfast.
thereās a small chemical fire happening at the next table over. he doesnāt care.
his partner, some girl from his gen chem section who only speaks in whispers and perfume, scribbles answers onto their worksheet like her life depends on it. sheās never once asked him to help. chosoās fine with that.
his phone buzzes in his hoodie pocket. he pulls it out without looking, thumb unlocking the screen by feel. itās instinct. the way he always knows when itās you.
[10:37am] you: what class r u in rn
[10:38am] choso: chem
[10:38am] you: ew
[10:38am] choso: yea
[10:39am] you: wanna meet up after?? iām bored
[10:39am] choso: wya
the response comes fast.
[10:40am] you: bleachers behind the field. bring snacks or iāll cry.
choso smiles.
itās the kind of smile he never shows anyone but you. lazy. lowkey. like a secret he doesnāt need to say out loud.
he texts back a thumbs up emoji. tucks his phone away. watches the blue flame flicker under the test tube like itās trying to tell him something.
~
the bleachers behind the athletic field are barely standing. rusted metal, cracked paint, half the steps warped from years of cleat-stomped abuse. itās one of the only spots on campus that still feels untouched, still feels yours. people donāt hang out here. itās too open, too weird, too quiet.
perfect.
youāre already there when he shows up, sprawled across the middle row like itās a chaise lounge, sunglasses perched low on your nose and a bag of kettle chips open in your lap.
you perk up when you see him. smile wide and lazy. āyou brought me snacks?ā
he lifts a 7/11 bag in greeting.
āyouāre an angel,ā you say, and you sound like you mean it. choso climbs up beside you, drops the bag between you, and sits with a long sigh like the weight of the whole morning finally got the memo that it can fuck off.
he lets himself lean back on his elbows, head tipped toward the sky. hoodie sleeves pushed up to the elbow. hands ringed in silver, knuckles faintly bruised from last night. jaw sharp, neck tattoo peeking just above his collar.
you glance over at him, bottom lip tucked between your teeth for a second too long.
he doesnāt notice.
or maybe he does.
but he doesnāt say anything.
āwhat happened in chem?ā you ask, voice slow with sunlight.
āalmost set the bench on fire,ā he says. āagain."
you laugh, and itās the good kind, low and warm and familiar, like something soft you wrap yourself in. āyouāre gonna fail.ā
ānah,ā he murmurs. āi got you. youāll cry to shoko for me.ā
you shrug. āprobably.ā
he grins.
you eat chips together for a while in comfortable silence. people jog past on the track below, but itās like the two of you exist in another timeline, quieter, slower, deeper. every time your shoulders bump, he doesnāt move away. every time your fingers brush in the snack bag, he lets it linger.
you pull out a cherry lollipop from your tote. unwrap it with delicate, distracted fingers. stick it between your lips and suck thoughtfully.
choso looks over. blinks once.
his throat bobs. āyou eat candy like youāre in a music video.ā
āduh,ā you say. āgotta stay on brand.ā
āyour brand is slutty candy princess?ā
you flash him a wink. āyou know it.ā
he groans into his hands. āyouāre gonna kill me.ā
āyouād like it.ā
āmaybe.ā
you both laugh.
but underneath it, thereās a tension you donāt touch. not yet. not today. not when the sun is this warm and the wind is this soft and the space between you feels like a bubble no one else can pop.
āso whatād you tell toji?ā you ask suddenly, pulling your legs up under you. āhe asked about us, right?ā
choso blinks. shifts.
āhowād you know that?ā
āi just saw him talking to you this morning and you rushed of before i could catch up.ā
he sighs. rubs a hand over his face. ājust asked about some dumb shit, was surprised we aren't fucking.ā
āoh yeah?ā
āyeah.ā
you hum. āwhatād you say?ā
he shrugs. ātold him weāre just friends.ā
you nod.
but your fingers are tight around your lollipop stick. ādid he buy it?ā
choso looks over at you. eyes half-lidded, lazy. ādunno. didnāt really care.ā
you donāt speak for a second.
thenā
āyou know,ā you say lightly, āif we were dating, people wouldnāt question it.ā
he raises a brow. āyou wanna date me?ā
you laugh like itās a joke. like the ideaās crazy. āobviously not. iād ruin your whole vibe.ā
ānah,ā he says, quiet and cool. āyou are my vibe.ā
it knocks the air out of you a little.
you donāt reply.
he doesnāt push.
instead, he pulls a lighter from his pocket. a faded red bic with a sticker of a cartoon frog on the side.
āyou mind?ā he asks.
you shake your head. āgo for it.ā
he lights the joint behind the bleachers, careful to block the wind, and takes a slow hit like heās been doing it his whole life. like breathing.
you watch the way his lips part. the way the smoke curls from his mouth. the way he blinks up at the sky, exhaling slow, like thereās nothing in the world that could ruin this moment.
he passes it to you.
you hold it between two fingers. bring it to your lips, but donāt inhale. you just like the closeness. the ritual. the rhythm of it.
āyou always smell like weed and coconuts,ā you say absently.
āyou always smell like sleep and candy.ā
āthat a compliment?ā
āyou know it is.ā
you smile.
and then, like always, you shift until your head is in his lap, knees bent, lollipop back between your lips.
he threads his fingers into your hair like itās automatic. like muscle memory.
you donāt say anything.
you donāt have to.
āthereās a party saturday,ā choso says, like itās just a passing thought. his voice is mellow, dragged slow with smoke and sun.
you squint up at him from his lap, one leg kicking idly off the edge of the bleachers. āyours?ā
he shakes his head, dragging another pull from the joint before it sizzles low. ānah. kappaās.ā
ātojiās place?ā
āmhm. sukunaās throwinā it.ā
you make a face. āew.ā
he laughs, lazy and low. āyeah, i know.ā
āwhat kinda party is it?ā
he shrugs, flicking ash off to the side. ādunno. probly loud. messy. overrun with freshmen.ā
āmy favorite,ā you say sarcastically.
ācome anyway.ā
you raise a brow. āyou want me to go?ā
he nods, eyes still soft from the joint. āyeah. all our people are gonna be there. gojoās bringing that speaker he stole from the rec center. suguruās bringing weed from the plug that scares everyone but him. shoko said sheās pre-gaming at yours.ā
āshe didnāt tell me that,ā you mutter, amused.
āshe said quote, āiām getting blackout on your floor so you better have mixers.āā
āclassic.ā
āmakiās going too,ā he adds. āand yuuji. megumi. nobara. yāall can take over the kitchen or whatever.ā
you snort. āwe always end up doing that. turning some random frat kitchen into our private lounge.ā
ābetter lighting.ā
āless vomit.ā
he taps his knuckle to your forehead. āso?ā
you blink at him. āso what?ā
āyou cominā?ā
you stretch your arms over your head, lollipop tucked in your cheek like a secret. āmmm, depends. whoās walking me home if i black out?ā
he gives you a look. āme."
āwhoās holding my hair if i puke?ā
āme.ā
āwhoās dancing with me when they put on early 2000s throwbacks?ā
he smirks. āyou already know.ā
you grin and nuzzle into his thigh dramatically. āugh, fine. i guess iāll go.ā
āwhat an honor.ā
āyouāre welcome.ā
you stare up at him for a second, at the sharp angle of his jaw, the lashes curled against his cheeks, the faint bruises of exhaustion under his eyes.
thereās something warm in your chest.
like always.
āwhat timeās it at?ā you ask.
ālate.ā
āwhen are we getting there?ā
ālater.ā
you smile. āas always.ā
āas always,ā he echoes.
you reach over, fingers brushing the side of his hoodie pocket where his lighter peeks out, red and fading, sticker peeling at the edges.
he doesnāt notice.
but you do.
you always do.
~
the sun has long since set when youāre back in your dorm.
shokoās stuff is already half-scattered across your bed, a tote bag overflowing with lip gloss and tequila, her ripped denim skirt folded beside your pillow like it lives here. your bluetooth speaker is charging in the corner. your fairy lights are glowing dim, and the whole room smells like something between vanilla lotion and sharpie markers.
because youāre painting.
your desk is a mess of scattered brushes, scratched acrylics, and an empty matcha can youāve been using as a water cup. right in the center sits the new bic lighter you picked up after social, jet black, perfectly smooth, untouched.
youāre painting red spider lilies across the front, his favourite.
the petals curl across the plastic like veins, wet with gloss and attention. youāre careful with the details. youāve looked up references. youāve done this before.
but this timeās different.
this oneās for him.
you donāt know why, exactly. maybe itās because his old oneās going dead.
maybe itās because you love him.
not like that.
not yet.
but in the way you know exactly how he likes his ramen. in the way he texts you āhome?ā when itās late and doesnāt sleep until you answer. in the way he rolls his blunts left-handed and always lights yours first. in the way he remembers your momās birthday even though heās never met her.
in the way he makes you feel safe in a room full of noise.
in the way he never tries to make you anything other than yourself.
you lean over the lighter, the brush held steady between your fingers, and add the final line of gold detailing around the petals. your breath fogs the surface. you wait for it to dry.
outside, someone blasts a bad edm remix. the partyās already pulsing down the block.
you arenāt ready yet.
but you will be.
because he asked.
because you always go when he asks.
by the time you and shoko step into the kappa house, itās already hell in there.
thereās music vibrating the walls, some mashup of jersey club and distorted britney spears, smoke curling from doorways, the reek of beer and weed and something you hope is a vape cloud drifting from the stairs. someoneās already swinging a half-finished bottle of patrón in the foyer, and a guy in a spiked collar is passed out half-naked on the pool table. red LEDs paint the room like a warning.
ājesus,ā shoko mutters, pushing through a knot of people. āitās worse than last time.ā
āthatās saying a lot,ā you reply, laughing.
you pass a makeshift tattoo station set up in the kitchen, a foldable table, three guys with gloves and prison-grade guns, girls taking shots with their shirts off, someone yelling about cross-contamination. someone else is already screaming into a paper towel, gripping their friendās thigh as ink bleeds into skin.
āhow much you wanna bet that guyās not even licensed?ā shoko asks, pointing with her cup.
a few feet away, a couple is practically devouring each other on the couch, hands in places that definitely shouldnāt be public, their moans barely muffled over the bassline. you and shoko share a glance.
āten bucks says theyāll be upstairs in five,ā she says.
ātwo,ā you shoot back.
you find the rest of your girls near the island, makiās drinking straight from a bottle of dark rum, nobaraās yelling at some guy for calling her āsweetheart,ā and miwa looks like sheās trying to spiritually leave her body.
āthere you bitches are,ā nobara says, throwing an arm over your shoulders. āi was gonna beat some freshmanās ass for trying to say you werenāt on the guest list.ā
āplease tell me youāre drinking tonight,ā maki says, eyes already glossy.
āi just got here!ā you laugh, letting shoko pull you in tighter. āi havenāt even taken my jacket off!"
āwell hurry up,ā nobara insists, pouring something violently pink into a solo cup and handing it to you. āthis nightās cursed already.ā
you take a cautious sip, bubblegum and battery acid. āwhat the hell is this?ā
āitās called the thong dropper,ā shoko says helpfully.
āgirl.ā
you let the chaos swirl around you for a bit, settling into the rhythm of things, catching up on nonsense, swapping wild stories, dodging spilled drinks and clumsy hands. nobara starts talking about some guy she hooked up with last week, rolling her eyes and groaning dramatically.
āhis stroke game was so weak,ā she says, slamming her cup down. āhe kept asking me āis that good?ā like, cmon. do you not hear me faking it?ā
maki snorts. āyou faked it?ā
āof course i did. i had to get it over with.ā
shoko leans in. ārookie mistake. just tell āem straight up.ā
āi canāt crush a manās ego like that,ā nobara defends.
ātheyāll live,ā maki says.
you giggle into your drink, letting the warmth buzz up your spine.
āwhat about you?ā shoko nudges. āyou getting any lately?ā
you shrug, trying to hide your smirk. ādefine āgetting.āā
they all ooh at that, but you wave them off.
ānah,ā you add quickly. ājust been⦠chillinā.ā
nobara raises a brow. āchillinā with who?ā
you donāt answer.
you donāt have to.
because you just spotted him.
across the room, slouched low on the ratty couch like a king on a broken throne, hoodie slipping off one shoulder, blunt glowing between his fingers, is choso.
heās got his head tipped back, laughing at something gojo just said, eyes heavy-lidded and hazy, lips pink and glossy from smoke. his legs are spread wide, rings catching the LED lights, and thereās a plastic crown crooked on his head like someone dared him to wear it and he just went along with it.
you hand your cup to shoko. āback in a sec.ā
you beeline straight to him.
he sees you coming, of course. always does.
āyo,ā he says, voice syrup-thick, laced in that lazy drawl you know too well. āthere she is.ā
you plop onto the couch next to him, thigh pressed to his instantly, as natural as breathing.
āhey, babe.ā
he pulls the blunt from his lips and passes it to gojo. āyou look real hot,ā he murmurs, eyes scanning over you. ālike⦠stupid hot.ā
you grin. āyouāre high.ā
āand youāre a fucking bombshell.ā
āso high.ā
gojo chuckles. āheās been saying shit like that about everyone for the last twenty minutes. told sukuna his chains looked āshiny as fuckā and that he would fuck him if he was gay.ā
āand i meant it,ā choso says, nodding solemnly.
āsukunas a menace,ā you laugh.
āa sweet menace,ā choso adds.
gojo tosses the blunt into an ashtray and stretches. āaight. iām gonna go find the aux before someone puts on country again.ā
āgodspeed,ā you tell him.
choso watches him disappear into the crowd before turning back to you. āyou good?ā
you nod. āthe girls are wild tonight.ā
āwhen arenāt they?ā
you smile. āmmm. partyās kinda gross, though.ā
he grins. āyeah. itās ass.ā
āi miss your parties.ā
he hums, dragging a slow breath through his nose. ānext week, tuesday.ā
āa tuesday party?ā
āhell yeah.ā
you laugh softly, eyes dropping to the front pocket of his hoodie. his lighterās there again, the red one. the same one from earlier, edges worn down like itās been used a thousand times.
without saying anything, you reach into your jacket pocket.
he watches you curiously as you pull out the lighter you painted, black and glossy, the spider lilies blooming across the surface in blood-red ink and gold veins.
you hand it to him wordlessly.
his fingers brush yours as he takes it, and something in his face shifts, softens, quiets.
he turns it over slowly in his palm, eyes scanning every detail like heās memorizing it.
āyou painted this?ā
you nod.
āmaā¦ā he says under his breath, almost like itās too much. āyo. this is⦠this is fucking beautiful.ā
āyour other oneās dying,ā you say, a little shy now. āfigured you needed a new one.ā
heās quiet for a second, blinking slowly.
then,
āyouāre such a fuckinā angel.ā
you laugh. āitās literally just a lighter.ā
he doesnāt let his gaze leave it. ānah. itās you.ā
you blink.
he says it so casually. so high. so him.
like itās just a fact.
you donāt say anything, and neither does he. the music swells. the lights flicker. people scream and laugh and break things somewhere in the background.
but right now, itās just the two of you, and a lighter between your palms.
āyouāre gonna make me cry,ā you joke, even though the way he keeps looking at the lighter makes your chest feel a little too full.
choso doesnāt answer, just keeps running his thumb over the curves of it like itās some delicate artifact, black with the glossy gleam of fresh paint, those red lilies blooming across the surface like blood in water.
he flicks it once. flame bursts up.
āperfect,ā he mumbles.
āit works?ā
ābetter than my soul, babe.ā
you laugh, leaning your head against his shoulder, and for a few seconds everything around you falls away, just the throb of the music, the warm press of him, and the soft flicker of that tiny orange flame between his fingers.
you sit like that for a little while, talking about nothing. him complaining about a group project he hasnāt started. you teasing him for skipping chem lab again. him promising you some ānext-level weedā for tuesdayās party that ātastes like peaches and existential dread.ā
his voice is slow, syrup-thick, a little slurred at the ends. heās stoned, clearly, but youāre used to this. used to the way he leans into you when heās like this, heavy and unguarded, every thought coming out a little slower and more unfiltered. itās a version of him that doesnāt get tired of looking at you.
he tugs at the hem of your jacket playfully. āyou gonna stay with me tonight?ā
you raise a brow. ādidnāt plan on going anywhere else.ā
he grins, that sleepy smile that makes your heart tick funny.
then your name cuts through the room, pitched over the music.
āoh shit,ā you say, glancing over your shoulder. ātheyāre calling me.ā
choso hums, not looking away. ātell āem i said hi.ā
you hesitate for a second, not wanting to leave the warm bubble youāve curled into. but shokoās waving you over, and makiās already halfway across the room with a bottle in her hand and trouble in her eyes.
āiāll be back,ā you say, giving his knee a squeeze as you get up.
he watches you go, eyes dragging over your silhouette, that sway in your hips, the flash of your smile as nobara yells something at you that makes you laugh and flip her off in the same breath.
then heās alone.
not really, the house is packed, pulsing with bodies and music and smoke, but alone in the way that matters.
the lighterās still in his hand.
and it wonāt stop looking like you.
'she fuckinā made this.'
that thought loops through his head in lazy spirals. he stares down at it like heās still not fully processing that itās his now, the way it fits so perfect in his palm, like you painted it with him in mind, like you know his hands that well.
(which you do.)
'what an angel', he thinks again, your face still ghosted in his mind.
heās high. so high. his body feels like a heartbeat, slow and deep and pulsing warm. and the lighter, it keeps dragging him back to that moment on the couch, your thigh against his, your fingers brushing his, your quiet little smile when he lit it up for the first time.
'she always does shit like this. just makes stuff better. without even tryinā.'
it hits him all at once, sudden and full-body.
he needs to mark this. this moment. this feeling.
heās already pulling out his phone before the thoughtās even fully formed, scrolling through the camera roll he swore he didnāt care about but secretly checks too often. blurry candids, selfies with you curled against his chest, that pic from two weeks ago when you were looking up at him from the floor of his room with a red gummy in your mouth and sleep in your eyes.
he pauses there.
your eyes in that picture. big, soft, glassy, sexy.
his thumb hovers over the screen.
āyo,ā a familiar voice calls, sauntering through the haze. āyou look fried.ā
sukuna.
choso glances up. āam fried.ā
sukuna grins. āfigured. that couch is cursed, by the way. guy got a blowie on it last week during pong night.ā
choso shrugs. āadds flavor.ā
they lean on the wall together, easy silence for a second.
āyou see the tat guys?ā sukuna asks, chin-jerking toward the kitchen. āsomeone just got a fucking worm on their calf. like a literal earthworm. said it was āsymbolic.āā
choso laughs, low and thick. āsymbolic of what?ā
ādunno. being dirt, i guess.ā
he doesnāt respond. just looks back at his phone.
sukuna raises a brow. āyou good, dude?ā
āyeah.ā
āyou look like you just had a vision.ā
choso finally meets his eye.
āyo,ā he says slowly. āyou ever just feel something and know you gotta do somethinā about it right now or youāll bitch out?ā
sukuna squints. āuh. like what?ā
choso doesnāt answer.
instead, he pushes off the wall, hoodie slipping off one shoulder again, lighter still clutched in one hand, phone in the other, and starts walking.
sukuna watches him go, a little amused. ādamn. alright.ā
the air is thick with smoke and bass as he weaves through the crowd, bumping shoulders, dodging a girl dancing with her heels off and her hair in her face.
he reaches the makeshift tattoo stand.
it smells like rubbing alcohol and regret.
āyo,ā he says, voice smooth as silk and twice as slow.
the guy behind the table, ink sleeves up to the neck, black gloves, sunglasses indoors, glances up.
āwhatās up, man?ā
choso leans down slightly, eyes low-lidded and unreadable, body loose and stoned and sexy in that careless way he always carries.
he holds out his phone.
ācan you do this,ā he asks, āon my arm?ā
the artist blinks, then looks at the screen.
itās a close-up of a girlās eyes, wide, seductive, yet still glowing with laughter. looking up at the camera like whoever took the photo was the only thing in the world.
looking up at him.
choso taps the screen once. āthose are hers.ā
the guy raises a brow. ālike⦠your girl?ā
choso shrugs one shoulder. his eyes never leave the photo.
the buzz of the needle starts soft, a low, persistent hum, and choso doesnāt even flinch. he just leans back, one arm draped lazily across the armrest, hoodie shoved halfway up his bicep where the artist wiped him down with alcohol. his eyes are half-lidded, bloodshot from whatever gojo rolled earlier, but locked on the phone heās holding out in his opposite hand.
the pictureās still up. her eyes, warm and wide, lashes curled, looking up at him like she trusts him with her whole heart.
āpretty,ā the tattoo guy mutters, angling a small light to get a better look as he sketches the stencil. āyours?ā
chosoās mouth curves slow. doesnāt answer right away. just flicks his lighter open and closed, click, click, click, the red spider lilies catching the light each time.
then finally:
ānah.ā
the guy hums. āgirlfriend?ā
he huffs a little, amused. ānot that either.ā
he sets the lighter down on the table beside him, keeps his eyes on the screen.
āsheās just,ā he pauses, then shrugs, soft and slow, āher. yāknow?ā
the artist side-eyes him. ādeep.ā
choso smiles again, eyes unfocused. ānah, iām just fuckinā high.ā the guy presses the warm stencil into chosoās arm, smooths it into place.
āyou sure you wanna do this while youāre, uh,ā he glances at chosoās glassy expression, the faint grin still tugging at his mouth, āclearly not sober?ā
āiām not wasted,ā choso says lazily. āand iām not dumb. itās not a mistake.ā the artist nods once, respects it. āalright, man.ā he flips on the machine again, lines it up.
āyou done this before?ā choso grunts a laugh. āyāthink i got these in my sleep?ā he gestures vaguely at the black ink already crawling across both arms, jagged, abstract lines, constellations and waves, some faded with age. some done in basements like this one. āfirst time sober was the weirdest one.ā
the guy snorts. āfair.ā
the needle hits skin.
choso exhales slow. doesnāt flinch, doesnāt shift, doesnāt even blink hard. just stares at the wall across the room, jaw slack, hoodie sliding off his shoulder, the buzz settling into the meat of his arm like a low hum of intention. āyou ever tattoo someone like this before?ā he murmurs after a beat.
ālike what?ā
he shrugs again. āsomeone whoās⦠yāknow.ā the guy doesnāt answer right away.
choso elaborates, voice softer this time. āsheās not mine. i donāt want her to be. not right now. itās not like that. itās justā¦ā he trails off, brows furrowing a little, tongue tucked against the inside of his cheek.
āshe just means somethinā. donāt got a word for it.ā
the artist doesnāt look up from his work, but his toneās gentler when he speaks again. āyeah. iāve seen that before.ā choso sinks deeper into the chair, breathing even. the painās dull and constant, but it grounds him. keeps his thoughts from spiraling too far out, keeps his high in this exact moment.
āyou think sheād be mad?ā he asks, voice airy. āif she saw it?ā
ādunno,ā the guy says. āyou gonna tell her?ā he blinks slow, head rolling back against the headrest.
ānah.ā
another pause.
ānot now. itās just for me.ā the tattooer gives a small nod. āthatās real.ā
a silence settles between them, the steady hum of the needle, the sound of someone vomiting into a bush outside the window, a muffled scream from the beer pong table two rooms over.
ālooks good,ā the artist murmurs, wiping excess ink from the forming lines of the eyes. āsheās got crazy lashes.ā
choso huffs out a small laugh. āsheād fuckinā love that you noticed that.ā
āyeah?ā
he smiles again, softer now. ātalked about lash serum for like a week. gave me a whole presentation.ā
the guy chuckles under his breath. āsounds like she talks a lot.ā
choso closes his eyes.
āshe talks just enough.ā the buzz continues. the lines take shape. her eyes, right there, etched into his skin. not to claim. not to confess. just to remember.
just for him.
~
the buzz dies down gradually, tapering into a low hum before the artist finally flicks the switch and pulls back. the sudden quiet settles like a heavy blanket over the both of them, just the soft thud of bass from the next room and the subtle scrape of latex gloves against skin.
āalright, man,ā the artist says, leaning back with a stretch. ādone.ā
choso blinks slow, still slouched deep in the chair like heās been there for hours, like the cushion molded around his bones. he lifts his head, eyes hazy but laser-locked on the strip of bandage being pressed to his upper arm.
āyo, hold up, lemme see it before you cover it,ā he says, voice low and hoarse from either weed or reverence, maybe both.
the guy lifts a brow, but obliges. carefully wipes the skin one last time, blood and excess ink coming away in soft red-black smears. the roomās fluorescent lights hit the raw lines at an angle, shining off the freshly tattooed skin like itās something holy.
and fuck.
there it is.
your eyes.
wide and soft and open, curved lashes sweeping upward in a way no stencil shouldāve captured but somehow did. that quiet way you look at him, like he hung the stars, like heās yours even if the two of you never say it out loud. inked permanent on the soft part of his bicep, nestled between a set of waves and the jagged edge of a half-finished constellation.
for a second, he doesnāt speak. doesnāt move.
he just stares.
it hits him slow, like a good edible, starts behind his eyes, low and warm in his chest, then spreads.
yo.
heās obsessed.
like fully, all the way, brain-meltingly obsessed.
he turns his arm slightly under the light, eyes tracing the lines, the slight curve of your upper lid, the detail around the corners like you're mid-laugh or mid-thought or both. it looks exactly like you, his favorite version of you. the version that looks up at him like nothing else exists in the room.
god.
you look good on him. not in the possessive way. not even close. itās not that.
itās something else. something way quieter. something he canāt even name when heās sober, and definitely not now, baked out of his skull with his arm still tingling and his hoodie falling half off.
but still, heās wearing you now. and it feels like something thatās always been true, just waiting for the ink to make it real.
āyou good?ā the artist asks, half amused, already reaching for the plastic wrap again. āyeah,ā choso says, slow, mouth crooked into a lazy grin. ālooks fuckinā sick, dude.ā the guy chuckles under his breath. ākinda figured youād say that.ā
āyou killed it,ā choso adds, finally dragging his eyes off the tattoo. ālike, actually.ā
the artist nods, pleased. āappreciate it. was fun as hell to do, honestly. you sure you donāt want her name or somethinā? under it?ā choso snorts. ānah. thatād make it weird.ā
āfair.ā
he watches the guy gently press a clean dressing over the fresh ink, tape it up. the sensationās a dull sting under his skin, not quite pain, just awareness. a reminder that itās real now. that itās his, for good.
she doesnāt know. you might never know. and thatās kinda the whole point. heās not gonna flash it at you mid-party or say anything slick when you sit beside him later like you always do, throwing your legs over his lap and stealing his drink.
nah.
this oneās just for him. a secret under his sleeve, tucked into the curve of his body like a memory.
āyou gonna keep it under wraps?ā the guy asks, like he can read chosoās whole plan off his face.
āyeah,ā choso mutters, grabbing his hoodie and tugging the sleeve back down with a practiced flick. āat least for now. donāt need her freakinā out or nothing.ā
ābet,ā the guy says with a short laugh. āi get it.ā
choso stands slow, body still heavy from sitting too long and smoking too much. he sways a bit but rights himself, shaking out his arms like heās just come up from underwater. the whole basement smells like blood and rubbing alcohol and resin, but itās warm, and the energy buzzes low and steady around him.
he digs in his pocket for a few bills, slaps them into the artistās open palm.
āappreciate you, man.ā
āanytime, bro. take care of that, donāt go dunkinā it in a keg or anything.ā choso grins. āno promises.ā
he walks out with his hoodie draped low, sleeve tugged all the way to his wrist despite the heat and the crowd and the chaotic press of bodies funneling in from the hallway. music floods back in slow, a pulse of bass syncing up with his own heartbeat.
but he canāt stop thinking about it. every step he takes, every time the sleeve brushes against the fresh ink, it reminds him.
not of what they are.
but of what you mean.
upu didnāt need to give him that lighter. you didnāt have to think about him in that little quiet way you always did, like heās more than just a weed plug or the guy you party with every weekend. that little moment, just you in your dorm, painting red spider lilies on a bic you knew heād never throw away? that shit went straight to his chest. and now you're on his skin. maybe you'd freak out if you saw it. maybe you'd cry. maybe you'd laugh.
maybe you'd get real quiet and never say anything again. or maybe you'd look at him the way you did in that photo. maybe you'd look at him like you knew.
but all thatās for later. for now, heās just stoned as hell, arm warm and throbbing, and so unbelievably content that itās almost embarrassing.
he spots gojo again across the room, already perched on the arm of someone elseās couch with a red solo cup and a grin like he owns the house. choso veers toward him, slips back into the noise like he never left.
sleeve tugged down.
lighter in his pocket.
eyes on his arm, just for him.
~
later that night you navigate yourself back to choso after your banter with the girls.
you spot him sunk deep into the cushions, hood half up, curls falling into his face, a bottle of water in one hand and his eyes half-lidded and sleepy with that lazy high he wears better than anyone. heās surrounded, gojo splayed on one armrest like he owns the place, sukuna lounged sideways with his feet on the table, and suguru perched on the edge, nursing a half-finished blunt.
āyo, look who it is,ā gojo grins as you walk up, already clocking the way you move like youāre headed home, not just to a guy. āprincess finally found her prince.ā
you donāt say anything, just slide right into the little space at chosoās side like it was made for you. his arm shifts automatically, pulling you in like itās instinct, and you tuck your face into his shoulder, letting out the softest exhale. you can feel the thrum of his voice in your cheek when he speaks.
āhey, ma.ā
his handās warm against your hip, steady, grounding. he smells like weed and cedar and the faintest trace of paint from the lighter you gave him. itās in his pocket now, safe like something sacred.
āso anyway,ā suguru picks back up like you didnāt just crash-land in chosoās lap, āiām telling you, the guy had no idea what he was doing. tried to roll with a swisher, no guts, just dumped the weed in and twisted the end like a fuckinā lollipop.ā
āgod, not the lollipop roll,ā sukuna groans, dragging a hand over his face. āfreshman?ā
āof course it was a freshman,ā gojo says, grinning. āthose little guys think watching one youtube tutorial makes them bob marley.ā
āyo, remember that one dude at the delta party?ā choso says, head tilting back slightly. ārolled a joint with a bible page.ā
āamen,ā sukuna snorts.
ānah, for real,ā choso laughs, hand tightening just slightly where it rests on your side. āhe said it made the high holier.ā you huff against his hoodie, and his fingers flex like he felt it, like it was the best sound heād heard all night.
they keep going, weed stories, party war stories, the dumbest shit theyāve ever seen in a frat house at 3am. itās relentless, loud, chaotic, but you stay quiet, tucked against chosoās side like heās the only still thing in the room. his thumb runs in slow circles against your waist through the fabric of your top, and you feel the way he laughs before you hear it.
āyo,ā gojo says, leaning across suguru to point at choso. āwhatās the craziest thing youāve ever done at a party?ā
ābesides adopt a girlfriend he doesnāt kiss?ā sukuna adds. choso blinks slow. doesnāt rise to the bait, doesnāt even twitch.
āprobably that time at theta when i fell asleep in the bathtub and woke up with a raccoon in my lap.ā suguru chokes. āyou serious?ā
ādeadass.ā
āwas it⦠alive?ā
ābro. it was chillinā. just vibinā with me.ā
āyou probably hotboxed the tub,ā gojo says, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. āraccoon was just tryna get high.ā
choso grins, soft and slow, and you nudge your nose into his hoodie like youāre hiding your own smile. āwhat about women?ā sukuna says suddenly, eyes glinting like heās fishing. āyāall ever hook up at your own party?ā
āyouāre disgusting, that's against regā gojo tells him cheerfully.
ādonāt lie,ā sukuna drawls. āyou know you have.ā
āalright, once,ā gojo admits. ābut i kicked her out after because she tried to name my bongs.ā āyouāre heartless,ā suguru says, deadpan.
āyou donāt name the bongs,ā gojo insists. āthey earn names. itās sacred.ā
āwhat about you, choso?ā sukunaās gaze cuts sideways. āyou got bodies stacked in your stoner dungeon?ā choso hums, slow and easy. you feel the low sound in his chest, pressed flush to your cheek.
ānah,ā he says. āi donāt hook up with girls who donāt know how to roll.ā the boys howl, gojo nearly falling off the couch.
āthatās so on brand,ā suguru laughs. āyou need standards,ā choso mumbles, amused, and leans his cheek briefly against the top of your head.
the lighterās still in his pocket. his armās still over your shoulders. and beneath the sleeve of his hoodie, hidden from the world, your eyes are inked into his skin.
you shift a little, just enough to tuck your legs under yourself, settling more fully into him, and he adjusts without thinking ā arm around you tighter now, palm spread warm across your ribs, thumb grazing your side through the fabric. heās careful. doesnāt let the hoodie ride up. doesnāt let anyone see. the tattooās still fresh, still tender, and itās just for him.
āyo, you good?ā suguru asks, nodding at him. choso blinks slow. āyeah manā.ā
āthat weed hit hard,ā gojo says. āi feel like iām seeinā sounds.ā
āyou ever tried dabs?ā sukuna asks. āthatās when shit gets spiritual.ā
āyou tryna kill someone?ā suguru laughs. āevery time i hit one, i feel like my soulās leaving my body.ā
āshitās a rite of passage,ā sukuna shrugs.
ānah, a rite of passage is hosting a rager with a cop at your door and acting like you live there,ā gojo grins. āhave you?ā choso asks, amused.
ābro, iāve answered the door in a bathrobe before,ā gojo says proudly. they all crack up again. you donāt say anything, but your smileās pressed right into chosoās chest, and he dips his head for a second to nuzzle his nose into your hair.
āsheās real quiet tonight,ā suguru says, noticing. ānah, sheās just comfy,ā choso says easily. āshe donāt need to talk when sheās like this.ā
you donāt. not when youāve got his warmth, his arm around you, his voice rumbling low in your ear with every lazy joke. itās always like this, like no one else in the room really matters, like you could fall asleep right here and heād keep the world spinning while you did.
āthatās love,ā gojo says mock-serious.
āshut up,ā choso mutters. but he doesnāt stop smiling. and the lighterās still warm in his pocket.
and your eyes are still inked into his arm, safe and secret beneath layers of cotton and smoke.
~
the house is still going when you two finally get up. itās past 2am, maybe closer to 3, but the music hasnāt let up and thereās still people on the floor, drinks in hand, voices loud and slurred over each other. someoneās passed out with a sharpie mustache, another guyās making out with a pillow. classic kappa chaos.
chosoās the one who moves first. you feel it in the way his arm shifts, in the soft brush of his thumb against your side like a nudge. he leans in close, voice barely above a murmur.
āyou good to dip?ā
you nod into his hoodie, eyes half-lidded, heart heavy with warmth and weed.
he helps you up slow, palm steady at your back. when you stand, the cold air from the open back door hits your legs and you shiver a little, instinctively leaning back into his side. he shrugs his hoodie higher and throws an arm around your shoulders like he already knew itād happen.
āyo,ā choso calls out over the couch, voice scratchy and low. āwe out.ā
gojo perks up from where heās still posted with a half-spilled drink, eyes bright. ātell your girlfriend goodnight for us.ā
you donāt say anything, just press your face into chosoās shoulder again, and he laughs under his breath.
ānight, man,ā suguru says with a nod, already halfway into rolling another blunt.
sukuna lifts a hand lazily. ātext if you end up in a ditch.ā
āif i do, iām takinā you with me,ā choso mutters.
they all laugh again, and it follows you both out the front door, the porch light buzzing weak and yellow above you. the nightās cooler now, quiet in a way that makes everything feel soft around the edges. your heels click against the pavement as you walk, but only for a second, choso notices and without a word, crouches down in front of you, glancing back over his shoulder.
āget on.ā
you blink, amused. āseriously?ā
ācāmon, ma,ā he mumbles, tugging at your wrist. āyour feet hurt.ā
you climb onto his back with a little laugh, arms wrapped loose around his shoulders, and he stands like itās nothing, steady under your weight. his steps are slow and sure down the sidewalk, the frat house lights shrinking behind you, the sounds of the party fading with every step.
āyou always take care of me,ā you mumble against his neck.
he hums low. āācourse i do. you're my.. best friend.ā
you walk like that for a while, his hoodie soft against your cheek, his hair brushing your face every time the wind shifts. he doesnāt say much, just hums sometimes or comments on dumb shit you pass, a traffic cone in a bush, a raccoon on the curb that freezes when it sees you, like it knows choso somehow.
he sets you down once youāre close, only when his own buildingās steps are in sight. his hand stays in yours as he leads you inside, up the stairs, past the other bedrooms where people are either passed out or definitely not sleeping. his door clicks shut behind you with a soft thud, and everything goes quiet.
his roomās the same as always, warm, dim, the faint smell of weed and whatever incense he burned earlier in the week still lingering in the corners. one sock on the floor, a hoodie thrown over the back of his chair. youāve been here a hundred times, maybe more.
but tonight feels different. softer. warmer.
he pulls his hoodie off slow, careful of the sleeve, and tosses it toward the desk chair. the bandage underneath catches the light for a second, but he turns before you see too much.
you toe your shoes off and crawl onto the bed without thinking. he follows, slower, body still heavy with high and heat and something else he canāt name.
youāre both under the blanket when he finally speaks.
āhey.ā
you look over, curled on your side facing him.
his eyes are half-lidded, soft. one arm tucked behind his head, the other stretched toward you, palm open on the comforter like heās offering it.
āi really fuckinā love that lighter.ā
your heart stutters a little. āyeah?ā
he nods, slow. ālike⦠a lot. been using it all night. even switched pockets for it, kept checking to make sure it didnāt fall out or get swiped.ā
you smile, something small and full blooming in your chest. āgood. itās supposed to be yours.ā
āfeels like it.ā
he looks at you for a long second. the space between you shrinks until his arm slides around your waist and pulls you in close.
you go easy, always do, settling into him like heās your own bed, your own pillow, the place you always end up no matter how far you drift.
he breathes in slow, his nose brushing your hair.
āthe flowers⦠whyād you paint those?ā
you press your face into his chest.
āthey reminded me of you,ā you say quietly. āred spider lilies. theyāre kind of⦠complicated. people think theyāre about death or goodbye, but they also mean memory. rebirth. starting over. they grow in all the places nothing else does.ā
chosoās quiet for a second.
then, soft, āyou think iām like that?ā
you shrug against him, voice even softer. āi think youāre the kind of person who sticks. who stays even when shit gets hard. and you donāt always say how you feel but⦠youāre steady. like those flowers. like fire.ā
he exhales slow.
āfuck, ma.ā
āwhat?ā
āyouāre gonna make me cry or some shit.ā
you laugh, a quiet huff against his chest. he wraps both arms around you now, tucking you into the space beneath his chin, his hand sliding up into your hair.
his fingers stroke slow, gentle. again and again.
āyou can cry,ā you mumble. āi wonāt tell.ā
he chuckles low, the sound vibrating through you.
ānah, iām good. just⦠i dunno. not used to someone thinkinā about me like that.ā
you donāt say anything. just curl closer, your fingers fisting lightly in the fabric of his shirt.
the room settles into silence. soft and slow. your breaths even out together.
his hand keeps stroking through your hair, steady and grounding. like he could do it forever. like maybe he will.
his voice comes again, quieter this time.
āgonna keep that lighter forever.ā
you smile, eyes fluttering shut. āgood.ā
ānot even gonna let gojo touch it."
ādefinitely good.ā
his lips brush your hair, a ghost of a kiss.
you feel it all, the warmth, the safety, the way his body curls slightly to fit around yours like a shield, like a home.
his heartbeatās slow against your cheek.
ānight, ma,ā he whispers, already half-asleep.
you murmur it back, voice slurred with sleep, breath syncing with his.
his fingers keep moving, slow circles through your hair.
and in the soft dark, beneath the blanket, beneath the silence, his arm curls around you just enough to press the fresh ink on his bicep to your side, a quiet secret. a permanent truth.
just for him.
just for tonight.
just for you.
~
~
itās been a chill afternoon, sunās out, classes dragging, brain fried. chosoās walking out of the lab building with his earbuds in, hoodie half-zipped, replaying your last message in his head. a pic of your shoes kicked off under a library table, captioned come save me, three broken hearts. made him smile. still does.
heās almost past the quad when a shadow cuts across the sidewalk.
āyo, choso.ā
doesnāt need to look up to know who it is.
that voice, too smooth. familiar in the kind of way that feels like smoke curling up your back.
he pulls one earbud out and slows.
tojiās leaned against the trunk of an oak tree like heās been waiting. sunglasses on, black tee snug across his chest, arms crossed like heās got all day. his smirkās already half-there.
āwhatās up?ā choso mutters.
āyou got a sec?ā
choso gives him a long look. he knows toji. knows the kind of calm that means somethingās coming.
āā¦yeah,ā he says anyway.
they walk.
theyāve done this before, that time a few weeks ago before his lab, once or twice after parties, when everyone else was loud and drunk and messy. tojiās always been different. sharper. like he watches the room just to see where it bleeds.
āhowās life at delta mu?ā toji asks after a few steps. casual. fake.
āsame shit.ā
āyeah?ā he smirks. āyou still throwing those weed parties with your little mascot?ā
chosoās jaw ticks. āyou mean y/n?ā
toji chuckles. āyeah. her.ā
he tosses a glance sideways. too casual.
āsheās got some energy, huh? always bouncing around, arms all over you. she like that with everybody or just you?ā
choso doesnāt answer. toji doesnāt need one.
ānah, iāve seen it,ā he continues. āalways tucked up next to you. on your lap. wrapped around your arm. clinging to your hoodie like itās the last blunt in the world.ā
he laughs under his breath. ākinda cute.ā
chosoās fists go deep in his pockets.
āsheās just like that,ā he says flatly.
toji hums. āyou sure?ā
choso looks over.
āwhatās your point?ā
ājust wondering,ā toji shrugs, still smiling like itās harmless. āyouāve told me before, you two arenāt dating.ā
āweāre not.ā
ābut you hang out every day.ā
āyeah.ā
āsleep in the same bed sometimes, right?ā
chosoās mouth tightens.
toji grins like he caught something.
āso sheās single?ā
choso stares straight ahead.
āā¦yeah.ā
āgood to know.ā
silence.
the wind brushes through the quad. students chatter behind them. someoneās playing music from a bluetooth speaker in the grass, something smooth, almost romantic. it doesnāt help.
āsheās just real⦠open, you know?ā toji says. ālike, warm. sweet as hell. makes you feel like youāve known her forever.ā choso stays quiet.
āi ran into her the other day,ā toji adds like itās nothing. āoutside the gym. we talked for a sec.ā his tone is lighter now. teasing. like heās digging.
āshe remembered my name. smiled real nice, too. said she was headed to meet you.ā
no surprise there. you always say where you're going. always talking about choso like heās the center of your world. and maybe thatās why this stings. and toji knows it.
āyou ever wonder if she does that for you?ā he asks. ātells other guys sheās headed to see you. uses your name like a shield.ā
he doesnāt wait for a reply.
āor maybe itās just habit. maybe sheās comfortable. you ever think about that?ā
ādonāt do this.ā
chosoās voice is low now. warning. toji just smirks.
ālook, man. iām not trying to piss you off. just⦠trying to understand. ācause you act like youāre her boyfriend, but then you say youāre not.ā
he tilts his head.
āso which is it?ā
choso breathes slow through his nose.
āweāre close. weāve always been close. thatās it.ā toji nods. like he buys it.
but he doesnāt.
ādamn,ā he says. āyou got more patience than me.ā
āwhatās that mean?ā
āmeans if a girl like that was pressed up on me every night, i wouldnāt be wasting time calling her my friend.ā he says it with a grin, but thereās something sharp underneath.
āyou really never tried?ā toji asks. ānever kissed her? not once?ā choso doesnāt respond. he canāt. he kisses you all the time, on the head, never on the lips.
because the truthās stuck in his throat, the way you fall asleep in his arms, the way you hold his lighter like it means something, the way you always come back to him like heās home. and heās the dumbass who never claimed you.
āso sheās single, then?ā toji repeats.
āyeah,ā choso says, quieter than the first time, barely above a whisper.
toji gives him one last nod.
āfairs,ā he says. ājust wanted to be sure.ā and then he walks away. choso doesnāt move. not for a long time.
just stands there, fists clenched, teeth gritted, watching tojiās silhouette disappear down the path like itās a threat, because it is. he knew.
he knew before he asked.
and now heās coming.
because choso left the door wide open.
and you?
youāre free to walk through it.
~
chosoās room, late in the afternoon.
your legs are curled under you on chosoās bed, hoodie three sizes too big hanging off your shoulder, his, of course. the windows are cracked open, letting in the soft hum of birds and the echo of some guys yelling down at the basketball court. his room smells like incense, sage and something deeper, something him, warm, sleepy. youāve been here a hundred times like this. maybe more.
his hoodie sleeves keep sliding past your wrists as you text, thumbs quick, quiet smile pulling at your lips. heās across the room, digging through a drawer for his rolling tray. you can feel his presence without even looking. you always do.
āyo, did you move my grinder?ā he calls, glancing over his shoulder.
ānope,ā you answer, distracted, fingers still flying over your screen. your phone lights again.
toji [3:04pm]: you looked cute at that mixer last night.
you bite your lip. thumbs hover.
then you type:
you [3:07pm]: oh, so ur stalking me noww?
you donāt see choso pause. you donāt see how long his eyes linger on your phone. you donāt realize he saw the name, until he speaks.
āwho you texting?ā
you blink up, tone of his voice unfamiliar.
āhm? ohāā you shift your phone in your hand, instinctive. ājust⦠someone.ā
he tilts his head.
āsomeone, huh.ā
you laugh a little. āwhy do you sound like that?ā
he doesnāt answer. he crosses the room instead, slow steps. plants himself at the edge of the bed, arms folded. you look up at him and that warm energyās gone. replaced with something colder. sharp.
āthat toji?ā
your breath stalls.
āā¦yeah.ā
choso stares at you. unreadable.
āwhy?ā
āwhat do you mean why?ā you ask, eyebrows tugging. āhe messaged me. we were just talking.ā
he hums, low.
'not buying it.'
ājust talking,ā he echoes. āwhat about?ā you sit up straighter. āwhatās going on?ā
āwhatād he say?ā
āchosoāā
ālemme see.ā
he gestures at your phone. you clutch it instinctively. like muscle memory. like guilt? āare you serious right now?ā he doesnāt answer. jawās tight. eyes dark.
āwhatād he say?ā he asks again. your fingers squeeze your phone. you feel a flush crawl up your neck. not from embarrassment, but shock.
āyouāre not serious,ā you say again, this time quieter. he just looks at you. so you speak.
āhe said i was cute, that's it.ā
his jaw ticks.
āyou flirting with him?ā
āwhat?ā
āyou heard me.ā
you scoff. āno. i wasnāt. it wasnāt even- i didnāt mean it like that.ā choso steps back, runs a hand through his hair. pacing now.
āyou texting him while youāre in my bed?ā
āwhat does that matter?ā
āit matters.ā
his voice is sharper now. rough around the edges. not loud, but tight, like itās fighting to stay inside his chest. āyou know how i feel about that guy.ā
āchoso, heās been nothing but nice latelyāā
āheās not nice. heās not interested in being friends. heās waiting, heās circling, you donāt see it?ā
you blink.
āso what, youāre mad ācause i texted him back?ā he looks at you like you just spit on the floor. āiām mad ācause youāre in my fucking hoodie, in my bed, telling some other guy heās got a shot.ā
you freeze.
the silence that falls is loud.
so loud.
your eyes widen. you stare at him, lips parted. unsure if you heard that right. unsure if he meant to say it.
āa shot?ā you echo. he looks away. exhales hard.
ānever mind.ā
āno,ā you say, voice firm now. āsay it again.ā
he doesnāt. but you both feel the truth echoing off the walls.
you look down. suddenly too warm. like the hoodieās burning your skin. āā¦i didnāt know youād care,ā you say, almost to yourself.
choso swallows. āi do.ā you glance back up.
āwhy?ā
he doesnāt answer, but you already know. and now the air is thick with it. the unspoken thing. and for the first time, itās not sweet. not warm. it hurts.
because it means everything heās never said, everything heās been, came with conditions you never agreed to. came with borders he never drew, but expected you not to cross.
you breathe slow. he watches you. you speak first.
āif you wanted to be the only one texting me like that, you shouldāve said something.ā chosoās face shifts. his mouth opens like heās going to say something, defend himself, maybe, argue the way he always stays quiet because he doesnāt want to lose you,but nothing comes out.
instead, his brows knit together, lips pressed in a tight line. his fingers curl at his sides.
āyou really think i donāt wanna be that?ā he says, voice rough. āyou think this shitās been casual for me?ā you blink at him. your breath catches.
āyouāve never said it was anything else, choso. what was i supposed to think?ā
āfuck,ā he growls, pacing again. āyou were supposed to know. i thought you knew.ā
his voice rises, not yelling, but loud with frustration. heās unraveling in real time, and itās shaking something loose in you, too.
āhow was i supposed to know?ā you shoot back. āyou flirt but you never say anything. you touch me like iām yours but act like iām just your best friendāā
āyou are mine.ā your voice dies in your throat.
he stares at you. and when he speaks again, itās quieter, but no less intense.
āyouāre mine,ā he says again, like a confession. like a curse. āalways been mine.ā your stomach flips.
āthen whyāā your voice cracks ā āwhy didnāt you say anything?ā
choso runs a hand through his hair again, like heās trying to physically hold himself together. like it hurts.
āācause i was scared,ā he snaps. āscared that if i said it out loud, itād fuck everything up. that youād look at me different. that youād leave.ā you stare.
āso youād rather let someone else have me?ā
he stiffens. you rise onto your knees on the bed, fire lighting behind your ribs now. āyouād rather let toji of all people try it?ā
his jaw clenches. āheās not gonna have you.ā your heartbeat skids.
he moves in fast, faster than he ever has, and grabs your wrist, firm but not rough, like he canāt bear to let the distance exist any longer.
āiām not letting him have you,ā he mutters.
youāre still frozen, looking up at him. something between fear and thrill curling in your gut.
āchoso,ā you whisper. he doesnāt stop. he pushes you back gently onto the bed, one hand catching your waist, the other bracing against the mattress. he hovers over you, breath heavy, eyes searching your face like heās begging you to see it, really see it this time.
āiām fucking in love with you.ā
your heart punches into your throat. his forehead dips, pressing against yours, voice hoarse.
āiāve been in love with you since you showed up to my first party and we listened to that dumb song together.ā
you let out a shaky laugh, but your eyes are wet his thumb brushes your cheek.
āi never said it ācause i thought this was enough. thought just having you close was better than risking it all. but i canātāā he pulls in a breath, voice shaking now too ā āi canāt sit quiet while other people try to take you from me.ā
youāre blinking fast now. breath catching. every inch of your skin feels like itās on fire beneath his touch.
āyouāre my girl,ā he says again, softer this time. āyouāve always been mine.ā
you donāt answer right away. your chest rises and falls beneath his, shallow and unsteady. your palm is still on his cheek, but your eyes have shifted, staring past him now. unfocused. wet.
āyouāre only saying that,ā you murmur, ābecause someone else finally had the balls to go after me.ā
his breath catches. your voice is quieter, but sharp now, like youāre trying to convince yourself. like you want to believe it, but the cracks are there, and theyāre splitting open.
āyou didnāt say anything until he got involved. until he started asking about me. texting me. seeing me.ā your hand falls away from his face. āand now suddenly, iām yours?ā
his eyes widen. ānoāā
āyou had so long to tell me, choso. so many chances.ā
āy/n, itās not like thatāā
āthen what is it like?ā you breathe. āācause i donāt get to be the girl you only want when someone else does.ā
choso stares at you, heart hammering. like you just ripped something raw and bloody straight out of his chest.
he swallows.
and then, slowly, he pushes back, just far enough to sit up on his knees beside you. the mattress dips with the weight shift. his hands fumble for the hem of his hoodie.
he pulls it up and over his head in one quick move. your breath stutters.
there, inked into the inside of his upper arm, where heād hidden it every time you curled up against him, is a tattoo.
of your eyes.
staring straight back at you.
your real breath, the one stuck in your throat, finally punches out of you.
choso watches your expression shift, eyes flicking from the ink to his face and back. he swallows once, hard, and says:
āgot it the night of the party. when you gave me the lighter.ā you blink.
āyou were curled up on me. whole time i was talking with the boys, i couldnāt stop thinking about you. how close you were. how you looked at me like that was your home.ā he swipes a thumb under his nose, like he doesnāt know what else to do with his hands. āso i got up, high as fuck, to the guy tatting people in the corner. told him to ink your eyes on me.ā
your lips part, but nothing comes out. his voice softens.
āi didnāt say anything ācause i thought it was enough. just having you near. but itās not. not anymore.ā
your heart pounds so hard you feel it in your ears.
he looks at you like youāre the only thing in the room. like he needs you to believe it. really believe it.
āthis isnāt about toji. itās never been about him. i wanted you long before he ever said your name.ā
youāre still staring at the tattoo.
he moves closer again. his hand brushes your knee, gentle.
āyou think iād get your fucking eyes tatted on me just ācause iām jealous?ā you blink fast.
his hand finds your face again. tender. grounding āyouāre it for me.ā
his voice is low, raspy. not just from the emotion, but from how hard heās holding it in, like if he lets go, everything heās ever felt for you will come spilling out and drown him.
but he lets it go anyway.
āyouāre all i think about,ā choso says, brushing his thumb over your cheek again. āwhen iām high, when iām sober, when youāre across the room and laughing at someoneās stupid joke, when youāre asleep in my bed, wearing my shirt, youāre in my head all the time, ma.ā your breath catches.
āevery song reminds me of you. every little thing you do drives me crazy. you donāt even know how much of me youāve got.ā
he leans closer, forehead nearly touching yours.
āyou gave me that lighter and i wanted to kiss you right there in the middle of that party. when you paint your nails i stare at your hands for hours. when you fall asleep on me at parties, i sit still like a statue so you donāt move. iām always lookinā at you like ive already lost you, and it kills me.ā
his hand finds your jaw, warm and steady, fingers curling behind your ear. your breath hitches, and heās close enough to feel it.
āyouāve had my heart since freshman year. and i didnāt say anything ācause i thought maybe you didnāt want it. or maybe you already had it and didnāt need to hear it out loud.ā
you swallow, shaky. lips parted. cheeks flushed.
and choso looks down at them, your lips, like heās been holding himself back from kissing you for a lifetime.
and then he doesnāt anymore.
he crashes into you like heās starving.
the kind of kiss that drags a sound out of your throat before you even realize it, all heat and pressure and ache, all the months and years and everything heās shoved down, poured out into the way his lips mold against yours. he kisses you like heās afraid youāll pull away, and like he knows you wonāt.
your hands claw at his shoulders, winding into the mess of his hair, tugging him in even closer. and choso groans, deep in his throat, pressing you down into the bed, slotting his hips against yours.
his mouth moves fast, desperate, lips, tongue, teeth, like he canāt get enough. like the taste of you is something he needs in his lungs.
āfuck,ā he breathes against your mouth, dragging his lips down your jaw, āyou donāt get it, do you?ā
your back arches, lips parting when he sucks lightly under your ear.
āhow bad iāve wanted this. you.ā
his hands roam, over your waist, under your shirt, up your sides like heās trying to memorize all of you at once. and every place he touches leaves a trail of fire.
you moan his name, soft and shaky, and he loses it a little more, bites your bottom lip as he grinds his hips down into yours, heavy and hot and so there.
āsay it again,ā he mutters, eyes half-lidded, forehead pressed to yours. āsay my name.ā
āchoso.ā
he shudders.
āagain.ā
ācho!.ā
he kisses you so deep it knocks the breath out of your lungs. kisses you like he owns you, like youāve always belonged to him, and like heās finally letting himself claim whatās already his.
and fuck, you let him.
youāve wanted this just as long, you've needed him just as bad.
and now, with your limbs tangled, your body burning under his, your heart thudding like a war drum in your chest, thereās no more pretending.
youāre his. heās yours. and itās written all over his face.
choso looks at you like youāre the only thing heās ever wanted, like heās starved for you, but still savoring the moment. his eyes are dark, heavy-lidded, but soft. reverent. he cups your cheek with a hand thatās just slightly trembling, brushing his thumb along your skin like he canāt believe youāre real.
he kisses your forehead, slow and grounding, like a promise. then your nose. then your lips, and that one lingers. warm, aching, deep enough that it steals the air from your lungs. itās not just desire. itās everything heās never said until now.
āplease let me see you, ma." he whispers, voice hoarse, like heās been holding back forever.
you nod, lips parted, eyes locked with his. your breath stutters as his fingers ghost over the hem of your shirt, lifting it inch by inch like heās unwrapping something precious. he tosses it aside, only to pull you in again. his palms spread wide across your ribs, thumbs brushing just beneath your chest.
āfuck,ā he breathes, low and to himself. āso fucking beautiful.ā
he leans in, mouth dragging hot and open along your neck, kissing and breathing you in, his lips trembling against your pulse like heās drunk off you. he murmurs something there, a soft, almost desperate, āmine,ā before he undoes your bra with one practiced flick.
and when it falls away, he doesnāt touch you right away. he just stares, like the sight of you has knocked the wind out of him.
his hands come up slow, palms warm as they cup you like heās afraid to break something delicate. ābeen dreaming about this,ā he says. āabout you. here. like this. in my bed. lookinā up at me like you already know iād give you everything.ā
you shiver under the weight of it all, his voice, his gaze, his touch. and then his mouth is on your chest, lips sealing around your nipple, tongue flicking before he sucks. slow, deep, just enough to make you arch into him with a needy whimper.
āchosoā¦ā
he groans, hand sliding lower, fingers hooking into the waistband of your shorts. he pulls them down with your panties in one motion, dragging his palms down your thighs on the way. and when he sits back, just to take you in, bare, breathless, flushed, his eyes go wide, like heās trying to commit you to memory. ālook at you,ā he murmurs, chest rising with each ragged breath. āyou donāt even know what you do to me, do you?ā
you reach for him, tugging his shirt up and over his head, palms skating down the strong lines of his chest, stopping only when your fingers find his arm. your breath catches.
your eyes. inked in black and red over his skin, etched like a confession. you won't ever get sick of seeing it.
he watches you take it in, sees the exact moment you understand, and he doesnāt say anything. not at first. he just leans in, takes your hand in his, and presses it over his heart.
āsee?ā he whispers. ābeen yours. always.ā
your eyes brim, chest tight with something that has no name. and then he kisses you again, slow and deep, tongue stroking yours, hand sliding between your thighs. he groans into your mouth when he feels you, warm, wet, already trembling.
āso wet for me,ā he mutters, lips brushing yours. āall this for me, huh?ā
his fingers dip into you, one at first, then two, slow and deep, curling just right. your back arches, mouth falling open with a gasp as he starts to move them, watching every twitch and shiver you give him like heās memorizing the way you come apart. āfuck, baby,ā he breathes. āyou feel so good, been wantinā this for so long. just wanted to take care of you. make you feel good.ā
his lips trail back down, mouth closing around your nipple again as his fingers keep working you open, the room echoing with your broken gasps and soft moans. he kisses your sternum, your ribs, every inch of you he can reach like heās trying to make up for every second he didnāt have you.
and when your legs start to tremble, when your thighs squeeze around his hand and you whimper his name into the crook of his neck, he groans, low and sexy, and pulls back just enough to strip the last of his clothes.
his cock is flushed, hard, already leaking, and still, he pauses.
he leans in, pressing his forehead to yours, breathing hard. āyou sure you wanna do this hun?ā
āi want you,ā you whisper, voice cracking. āi want all of you.ā
and when he slides in, slow, deliberate, itās overwhelming. your nails dig into his shoulders, mouth open in a silent gasp, and he just groans, long and low, burying his face in your neck.
āfuck, sweetheart⦠you feel so fuckinā good, made for me, huh?ā
his hips rock into you, slow and deep, dragging along every sensitive inch inside you until youāre trembling again, mouth parted in helpless moans. he kisses you through it, messy and uncoordinated, full of teeth and tongue and need.
he doesnāt hold back anymore. not his body, not his voice. heās everywhere, his hands, his mouth, his words, and every thrust is rougher, deeper, hotter than the last.
ābeen yours since the day i met you,ā he breathes against your skin. āyouāre mine, baby. mine. no one else gets to have you like this. no one else even fuckinā compares.ā
you believe him. how could you not, when heās saying it like heās been waiting years to let it out?
you fall apart first, clenching around him with a strangled moan, whole body trembling as your orgasm crashes through you, and choso follows, grinding into you with a low growl, holding you close as he spills into you.
he doesnāt let go. not even after. he stays buried deep, forehead to yours, one hand cradling your jaw like itās fragile.
ānot lettinā you go,ā he whispers. ānot now. not ever.ā
~
raging music throbs and the partyās already in full swing when you two walk in. the bass thrums under your feet, bodies packed tight in the kappa house. familiar faces flash by in strobes of color and sound, solo cups raised, someone laughing too loud, gojo shouting across the room with a bottle in each hand.
and then you and choso step into the chaos like itās nothing. except tonight, itās not nothing. itās everything. your hand is in his. his thumb strokes over your knuckles like itās second nature, and youāre tucked into his side like youāve always belonged there. heās wearing that hoodie you love, and youāve got it slung off your shoulder like itās yours now. he hasnāt let go of you since you walked through the door, and he doesnāt plan to. people notice.
gojo sees first. his mouth falls open around the mouth of a beer can, and he drops it on the counter with a dramatic gasp. āoh my god.ā choso raises an eyebrow, smirking. āno fuckin way,ā sukuna mutters, eyes narrowing. āthis for real?ā you donāt say anything. just smile, nuzzling into chosoās chest. and choso, god, he melts. his arm tightens around you like instinct, like heās not even thinking about it. āyouāre kidding,ā maki blurts from across the room. sheās half-drunk and squinting, pointing her beer bottle at you two like sheās trying to make sense of a mirage. āyou finally fucked?ā
āmaki,ā shoko hisses, slapping her arm, but sheās already grinning. āi knew it. i knew it.ā suguru lifts his drink with a slow, knowing smile. ātook you long enough.ā gojo, meanwhile, is spinning in a circle like he just witnessed a miracle. āwait wait wait,ā he says, pointing between the two of you. āyouāre telling me this entire time, weāve been watching you two eye-fuck each other across every frat house on campus, and now youāre just casually showing up like this?ā
āwhat can i say,ā choso murmurs, pulling you even closer, āi figured it was time.ā ālook at his hand placement,ā shoko says, leaning into maki. āthatās not friends. thatās boyfriend hand placement.ā
āyeah and look at her,ā maki laughs. āshe looks like she just got dicked down and praised like a goddess.ā you duck your head a little, embarrassed, but choso leans in and kisses your cheek, then your temple. itās so soft, so easy, and when he pulls back, he looks straight at toji whoās staring wide eyed, steady, calm, but with a flicker of challenge in his eyes.
ādonāt look at her like that,ā he says, voice low. ānot tonight. not ever.ā toji scoffs, raising his hands in mock surrender, but his grin is sharp. ādamn. someoneās possessive now.ā
ābeen possessive,ā choso mutters, like itās not even up for debate. he turns his attention back to you instantly, brushing your hair behind your ear.
āyou okay?ā
you nod. āiām perfect.ā and then he kisses you. not a peck. not for show. itās slow, unhurried, with his hand cupping your jaw and his lips moving with the kind of tenderness that makes your knees weak. the room could be burning down and he wouldnāt stop. you donāt even hear gojoās dramatic screech until you break apart.
āyo this is crazy,ā he says, spinning around and yelling to no one in particular. āchoso is off the market. choso kamo, resident stoner-lover of no one but his weed and his hoodie collection, is now cuffed.ā
āwhatās it feel like,ā suguru asks with a smirk, raising an eyebrow at choso, āto be someoneās boyfriend?ā
āfeels like i shoulda done it years ago,ā choso says. you blink up at him, heart catching in your throat. āyo,ā yuuji calls from the other side of the room. ādoes this mean weāre finally allowed to say you two have been in love since freshman year?ā āi always said it,ā nobara yells, shoving through the crowd with a drink. ādonāt act like yāall didnāt see them cuddled up at every party like an old married couple.ā
āwait does this mean sheās moving into his room?ā gojo asks, visibly spiraling. āwhatās gonna happen to the guest bed? whoās gonna roll for me when chosoās too busy being in love?ā
ādie mad,ā choso says flatly, and everyone laughs. but even through all the noise and teasing and attention, his focus never strays from you. his hand stays on your waist. his eyes keep dropping to your mouth like heās remembering exactly what it feels like.
āyou good?ā he murmurs again, like he just wants to hear you say it.
you press your nose to his chest and nod, smiling. āmore than good.ā
he kisses you again, slower this time, like itās just for you. like no one else is in the room. like heās exactly where heās always wanted to be.
and the thing is, he is.
heās yours. fully, finally, publicly.
Ā© 2025 sixxels. All work belongs to @sixxels Do NOT repost, modify, translate or plagiarize in any way on ANY platforms.
awe wasn't that sweet š©āā¤ļøāšāšØ m.list
guys look at this beautiful art @ryololart did inspired by this fic i love her go like it rn omg this is the perfect visual.



















