Gotham's Ass

"I'm too cute and tiny to be a threat to national security~"

[raybeam-littlebean]

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

⋅☾⋅ 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 ⋅☽⋅

╰➤ Ray / Sprout

⋅☾⋅ 𝐀𝐆𝐄 ⋅☽⋅

╰➤ 21

⋅☾⋅ 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 ⋅☽⋅

╰➤ Ace spec somewhere, Panromantic

⋅☾⋅ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒 ⋅☽⋅

╰➤ She/They/It

⋅☾⋅ 𝐌𝐈𝐒. ⋅☽⋅

╰➤ I'm not going to argue with you, take that shit to a brick wall somewhere

╰➤ Minors follow with caution, I don't post NSFW often if ever but I am an adult and I will do what I want

╰➤ I'm here for jokes, please try not to take everything I say seriously, it's for laughs, you guys

╰➤ Discussion is encouraged, please tell me POLITELY if I'm wrong or what more you'd add to my thoughts on posts

╰➤ I'm new to the DC Fandom, very new, I just got here a few weeks ago, give me reading recs, movie/show recs to help

╰➤ Discord is _raybeam if anyone wants it, I guess, add me so we can talk DC or role-plays or something!

[raybeam-littlebean]

Okay, I know I'm super late to it all but I just saw Project Hail Mary again, a second time in one week and

"Save the Hate" by And One reminds me so much of Ryland Grace and I have no idea why

Like, some of the song matches up but I feel so strongly about that it is his song that it's just strange

I'll probably post a deep dive on it lyric by lyric later, I just wanted to get it out there so someone else can talk about it

[raybeam-littlebean]

I just bought myself the entire collection of Absolute Superman

We are 𝘴𝘰 back

[raybeam-littlebean]

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

Holy shit you're lying

I remember sitting on the couch of my very first apartment after couch surfing with friends after escaping my abusive moms house

The roommate at the time was one of the girls I had been staying with when couch surfing (it was two girls then one of the girls wanted to move her boyfriend in so the second girl and I left to get our own apartment)

Only for that said roommate to almost kill me after I refused all her manipulative and isolating tactics, got me to lose my job, my cats, literally everything and now I'm back in with the first girl and her boyfriend

Shit is literally fucked I can't believe it's been a year

[literatigeek]

Ace Adrian Chase! Ace Adrian Chase! Ace Adrian Chase!

[papayafromtv]

ok no sorry the idea of Damian being immune to recreational drugs and not just poisons is very funny to me, because as fucked up as it is, it opens the opportunity for this kind of conversation

*on patrol*

Tim: HOLY SHIT- Damian you good?!

Dick: you two alright over there?

Tim: yeah, some crazy addict just tried to stick Damian with a needle! he didn't get you, right?

Damian: i am fine, and i would have been fine even if he had succeeded.

Tim: yeah- you wouldn't be saying that if you'd gotten doused with heroin for the night.

Damian: what do you take me for, an inbecile? i have a high tolerance for all drugs, as my grandfather demanded.

*a pause*

Tim, flatly: run that by me again real quick.

Dick: uh- yeah, Dames? i understand you're immune to a lot of poisons, but recreational drugs are a whole other ballpark.

Damian, impatient: Todd.

Jason, sighing: yeah, no... kid ain't lying, sadly. his tolerance for heroin n all that shit is off the charts.

*another pause*

Dick, horrified: SORRY?!

Tim: HEH-?!

Damian: i truly do not understand the fuss. grandfather thought it would be a bonding experience.

Tim: BONDING- so what, you and Ra's were both getting high? the world's most fucked up trip circle?

Damian: well we were not alone, grandfather was not stupid.

Tim: then who the fuck else was apart of this hotbox?

Dick, bemoaning: oh my god, Damian, you poor kid...

Damian: he only trusted his most powerful general and bodyguard to protect us during such delicate training.

Tim: please don't say Talia.

Damian: ...it was not my mother, no.

Tim: then who?

*another pause*

Jason, bursting out: DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING WEIRD IT IS,

Tim: OH- *high pitched cackles*

Jason: -TO DIE, DIG YOUR WAY UP THROUGH A GRAVE, AND THEN BE TAKEN OUT TO A DESERT TO BE SOME WEIRD OLD GUY AND HIS GRANDSON'S TRIP BABYSITTERS?!? DO YOU?

Tim: *still laughing*

Dick: Jason, you let that happen?!

Jason: OH- yeah, Dick, because i was completely in control of that situation, i had so much say in what went on. i got him out of there as soon as i fucking could, ok?

Tim: i really want to see pictures of baby Damian and Ra's in a sweat lodge together, holding blunts, both wearing ray bans, peace signs flashed to the camera-

Dick: Tim, don't be insensitive.

Jason: i actually do have a polaroid of him off his face when he was six wearing sunglasses and holding a blunt.

Dick: JASON?

Jason: well i had to have some fun sometimes, Dick. and Tim's just a loser skater-boy, this is in his blood.

Tim: OI.

Damian: i'll kill all of you.

Jason: don't be mad, kid. you were a baby that smoked weed. you're cooler than any of us could ever be.

[cheer-me-on-world]

Even if genders are swapped, I'd imagine fem Bruce would've still stacked heavy armour, possibly hiding her bahongas, and ladies can get quite buff. Maybe she would have a voice changer, or she can just deepen her voice naturally, like bruce

Taking from all of this, and the obscurity of the night in Gotham, it wouldn't be surprising if the world continued to call her Batman

Now, imagine the surprise when the robins first arrived at home, and she takes off her cowl and what they expected to be a father was instead a mother.

Flabbergasted.

Turn that scenario to the JL, in a battle, her cowl is knocked off and each member gets punched in the face during the brief lapse in wonder and shock by the enemies as they witness a previously male-known member to be female

And I would not be wrong to assume that fem Bruce wouldn't have corrected anyone abt her gender, it's not what being Batman is abt, I think her logic will be, "let the people assume, justice will be served either way"

[littledan131]

In Batman's own words "the Hammer of Justice is unisex"

[doomwolfe]

Everyone else gawking.

Bruce: ???

Supes: We just... thought... look I think everyone's been working off of assumptions about you and...

Bruce: What did you expect me to look like? A Bat?

Supes: No.... just um...

Wonder Woman [smug]: You all owe me! I knew that no man could posess such trength of will!

Oliver <sighs and hands her a $100.>

Superman later that night: I feel so conflicted, Lois.

Lois: so you're not bi... who cares. We've already talkes about this.

Clark: YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. Now Batman thinks we're all incredibly stupid and it has ABSOLUTELY gone to Batmans whole detective ego. Batman is going to be intolerable for weeks over this.

Lois: Why is the whole name Batman if...?

Clark: because its APPARENTLY a military thing.

Lois: OH.... you mean... who the fuck picks an outdated "Aide de Camp" as a superhero name??

Clark: something about the press made assumptions and Batman just.. fit. Gothamites, true Gothamites.... they just call Batman "The Bat."

Lois: Weren't you the one who Coined...

Clark: YES... i might have accidentally assigned a misnomer in one of my front page articles.

Lois: This whole thing must be really embarassing for such a notable journalist.

Clark: Stop taking Batman's side and pitty me.

[raybeam-littlebean]

Just the Robins calling Batman 'Mom' and everyone just assuming they're all teasing Batman for fussing over them like a mom

But no, that is their mom, their mother

The clues where all there, they just didn't accept them or think about it

They're going to be suspicious of everything now

This just helps add to her secret identity if everyone thinks Batman is well, a man, so no one would suspect her of anything

Clark fully convinced he could be Bi all because of Batman only to find out he wasn't really (???) because Batman is in fact a woman is so real

He should explore that

[raybeam-littlebean]

Updating my ocs for anyone who gives a shit

Void's story hasn't really changed much, just added a part where a magic secret society is after them because their father was a super powerful magic user and they thing Void might be too and need to get them on their side

Also adding more around the time they're an adult and thinking about changing their name to Sun-Eater around that time. But for now, they're still Void

Benji is my artificial speedster and my latest obsession now, adding so much to him. Like how he has a brief Uncle/Nephew relationship with Booster and Ted before.. the inevitable

Also gave him OCD, but the more uncommon bits that media doesn't show because it should be shown too. And I have an Absolute AU in the works about him that started as a joke but is becoming less of a joke now

OH! And I changed his name. Again. It's Adrenaline now

Rokyn is still the same, mostly, their name is still Supernova and I'm working on their design from artwork I've seen around for Supernova Kon El. But I'm thinking about making them a sociopath.. just a little bit. Not really? Just really Apathetic, but still does good because she was trained and taught that. Not that they really understand

I'm also working on ANOTHER oc, they're going to be Texas Hold'Em coded so I have the excuse to make a cowboy. Love me a cowboy

Enjoy these sketches my friend made me for my birthday, they're of Void

[raybeam-littlebean]

In the spirit of Suicide Prevention Month, I'm going to share some stories from my life that my brother has done and project that onto the bat fam because these are my actual headcanons for them too

Anyways, I think Dick/Jason make food in large portions on purpose and don't eat all of it so they can hand it off to their younger siblings when they see the sibling hasn't eaten in a while

I think they both do it, but Jason definitely does it the most. I have a headcanon that he's the better cook out of the boys, from the time on his own and with his mom. Like, he'll cook a meal that is easy on the stomach, but definitely very nutritious, and when he 'can't finish it' he hands it off to Dick, Tim, Damian, Cass, just whoever he sees hasn't eaten in a while. The depressed kind of doesn't eat, forget to eat kind of thing.

And he notices, he always notices. He might not be at the manor a lot or with his siblings a lot, but he notices the little things that are off. The others probably don't even notice that he does this, not at first anyway. Tim probably thinks he poisoned the food somehow. But it's usually the best meal they've ever tasted, and no, not after Alfred, it's literally the best because it's made by Jason.

Another story is maybe that Jason becomes perhaps a little more emotionally available when one of his siblings comes to him for support? He's definitely their last resort, he knows that and is completely okay with that. But if Dick isn't available, someone needs to do it.

He freezes like a cockroach on a wall when the lights turned on, wondering if he stands still long enough they'll go away. They don't and he reluctantly, yet softly, tries his best to be careful with the broken pieces of his sibling to put them back into some kind of order so they can leave. He doesn't even know what it's about, not really, he doesn't ask and most times they don't even say. He just.. holds them, holds their hand, gives them a minute to just cry into the darkness and know that at least they're not alone while they sit in it. Not like him, never like he was.

[raybeam-littlebean]

Wild ass shit, you guys

I just got a new job a few days ago and while walking to work, I found a bird in the grass that wasn't doing too hot but didn't look visibly injured?? I was very confused why it was there and so worried so I brought it back into my apartment while on the phone with a wildlife rescue and I put it safely in a box

For context later, I have two roommates— Both roommates were out, one at work and the other at a friend's. So I left a note on the box for the one that I knew would come home eventually before i got off work. Apparently, he got home early and freaked the fuck out there was a black box from seemingly nowhere standing alone on the coffee table with a note with big 'DO NOT OPEN, PLEASE GOD DONT— DONT GET RID OF IT, LET ME SAVE HIM'

In my panic to get the little guy in a box and not be late for work, I had neglected to write in the note what was actually in the box.. (I also forgot about my other roommate's cat. Halfway through my walk and started panic calling all my friends and roommates that I thought would pick up to please go watch the bird for me and don't let the cat eat it.) The roommate in question has a bug phobia and I have a penchant to collect bugs so he was convinced I brought something huge home. No, it was a bird and he seemed much more chill about that.

Finished my shift, called the rescue back to get information on what to do with the bird. Rescue said that I happened to stumble upon a Clapper Rail! They're adorable and you should look it up because I've literally never seen one a day in my life. His name is Kiwi, and I get to take him to the vet today (this all happened yesterday) because the specialist vet he needs is over an hour away.

Anyways, that's my storytime and now I'm thinking about Damian Wayne because no one was surprised when I said I brought a bird home to rescue it.

[frownyalfred]

I’m not saying Bruce should be capable of figuring out Superman’s secret identity right away every time, but Superman managing to turn “Did you eat?” into one syllable should have been a clue.

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

oh I do need polyglot Bruce Wayne having to pause and blink to decipher djeet?

[raybeam-littlebean]

I need more Midwestern Clark, more Clark with accent, more Bruce trying to figure out what his country bumpkin boyfriend is saying

[buddieinmybeddie]

LGBTQ+ folk what was your gender/sexuality pipeline?

[raybeam-littlebean]

#cishet > bisexual > straight > heterosexual biromantic > pansexual > asexual > demigirl > asexual panromantic

[raybeam-littlebean]

would you write birdflash? maybe hurt dick and protective wally/batfam?

✨️ BirdFlash my beloved ✨️

Yes, I will definitely write for my favorite ADHD boys and have their neurodivergent rambles bounce off each other

I'll probably make this a one shot, a little warm up for bigger projects as they come in

Dick being hurt is inevitable, and he'd down play that shit so hard– Wally will never tire of helping him, but he really wishes the man would stop

[raybeam-littlebean]

A little help, please??

Okay, I have decided I will dabble in fanfiction

So, as any great business person should do, I will ask for options from the consumers themselves

Is there any ships or plots you guys would like to see more of? Any niche topic you want to consume more of? Any fic ideas you have had that you know you're not going to do yourself so you don't mind sharing?

Go ahead and just tell me whatever in the comments, I really want to know so I can deliver good results!

"Rules" under break:

(Slight TW)

Note: I will not do any p3do ships/incest ships, just. No. I am willing to do aus as well, even if they're incredibly niche— You can tell me about it and I can try my hand!

Anything is on the table until I say it's off the table, meaning 'Dead Dove Do Not Eat' stuff, just because I think it's easier to be inclusive and then mark out stuff I will not do as suggestions come in

If you think your suggestion is too riskay, or you're shy to have it seen by others, go ahead and message me and I'll tell you if I'll do it or not!

I think that's pretty much it, these are just loose guidelines, so anything else, go off!

[raybeam-littlebean]

I want so badly to start writing fan fiction so bad but the Ao3 curse is so real, I'm certain..

My life can't get any worse right now, I would combust and my friends would miss me

I'd write DC fanfics with ships, but also just little Au stories around the family and stuff

I'm thinking my about posting them here instead, like fucking Twitter thread fics 😂

Would anyone be interested in that? Is there any other accounts that already do that?? I haven't found any

[raybeam-littlebean]

Thinking more on that one panel of Dick licking a random white substance at a crime scene and being like "yep, cocain" or whatever the fuck

Everyone freaking out about how the hell Dick "golden boy" Grayson knows what drugs taste like

Some people would be like, "he was a teenager once, you guys— he probably tried it during a rebellious phase" and "who amongst us hasn't tried illegal drugs?"

And to that I answer me

But also

I don't think he tried them on his own volition

I think it was part of his training with the Bat

Because like, even when you're a cop, and you get a drug sample, you have a wait a while for the results to come back for anything

And out on the field, you only got what you can carry on your person

So it would only make sense that Bruce made it part of Dick's training to know what drugs smell like what, what they taste like, and what they do

Now, with that out of the way, the next question would be *how* Bruce got ahold of these drugs

An obvious answer is probably he got it from one of his drug busts before the cops got there

A little heroin here, a little coke there, whose to know? Whose to tell if he took something or not?

Sure sure, easy, accessible, fast

But. Alternatively.

What if Bruce actually bought the drugs himself with his billionaire money

Think about it, not only is it the funniest shit, but also, it lowkey helps with his ditzy nepobaby playboy whatever the fuck he has going on

A billionaire wants drugs for his rich friends at his next gala? Sounds exactly like what a guy who owns practically 3/4 of Gotham would do

And maybe he uses it for a drug bust later, but like, he wants those rumors to circulate a little first

[raybeam-littlebean]

God damn, I haven't posted in a while—

In the spirit of sharing, I'm posting more projections onto Jason about food insecurities

I already talked about how he probably has an insecurity to drinks. Anything with a lid will never be completely drank, no matter how many drinks he has stockpiled

Now, I want to say he probably has something against hot liquids

Hot soups, hot drinks, just anything too warm. If it's enough to bring some kind of irritation to the skin if spilt, then he won't touch it

"Eat it or you'll wear it" seems like a phrase he's probably heard of a bunch, if food was made at all. Poured on him for disobedience, having to nurse burn wounds or skin irritations

Besides, he's gotten so used to his meals coming to him cold that he probably can't tolerate extreme temperatures

Alfred learns quickly to make cold tea and keep cold drinks around for the poor boy. Even if it hurts his poor English heart to make tea "wrong".

Ice tea exists for a reason