A Solar Refuge

28 What in tarnation... Icon by uovo0

[mewochy]

[pangur-and-grim]

things I’ve noticed in the UK:

- when you’re jay walking, cars will actively accelerate bc the drivers want to kill you for breaking the rules

- servers in restaurants act very scared and apologetic, so maybe people aren’t nice to them here??? or I could be terrifying

- it’s really cute when little kids have British accents, but I’m unmoved by adults with accents

- extremely good gluten free options. this country is like 20 years ahead of Canada in that regard

- people will give random insignificant buildings names with little plaques. and then that’s the name that shows up on the map. like even a smaller than average family home, you can name it like it’s a dog

- lots of brick and stone buildings. looks cute and charming until you enter one and there’s no air conditioning

- people are still wearing jaguar print. I like this. don’t let it die

[pangur-and-grim]

ohhh okay! amendment: cars will actively try to kill you for being small and made of flesh, instead of cool and metal like them

[diamondeyes-deluxe]

I work with kids and sometimes we have to do safety lessons with them about like, not telling strangers on the internet your home address or something. And sometimes the kids wont understand why, so you have to impart upon them that, well, some adults want to hurt children. And thats kind of difficult to do, because you have to beat around the bush, both because you dont want to scare them (while still making them understand how serious it is) and because you might lose your job if you explain it too straight forward.

Luckily, for some reason, the villain of one of the most popular franchises with children for the last 10 years happens to be a serial child murderer. So when a kid asks why they shouldnt trust strangers, instead of hand wringing and humhawing my answer out, I can just say "we dont always know when a strange adult has good intentions with children, or when they are William Afton."

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[sforzzz]

copper ii sulfate has no reason to be this blue. this shade of blue looks like it should only be a digital invention

[rabbitindisguise]

forbidden blue raspberry candy

[milf--adjacent]

[jarfieid]

I was watching someone else play the new rhythm heaven game and I became so entranced with this little thing that I had to make it into a gif

[lemonsweet]

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

[energyprison]

yeah man open it up in tf2 for me

[contemptible-scoundrel]

tch... so it's an alliance out of necessity, huh...?

[coelii]

[emwheezie]

"time heals all wounds" WRONG. time is chasing me with a knife

[foldingfittedsheets]

[fleshengine]

[brick3621]

Not really, this is one of those posts clearly made to bait a very specific reaction gif and all of us idiots (affectionate) clamber over each other to provide like a reverse feeding frenzy. I’ll give you another example, just check this out:

“I’m still in disbelief at how good Andor was. Andy Serkis’ character during the prison arc alone redeemed all the ills of the sequel trilogy IMO. I need to rewatch it, but I forget how much time I’ll need to commit even though it’s just two seasons. Hey, anybody know how many episodes are in each season?”

[emwheezie]

For the record, I had NO idea about the time knife. I don't really watch tv

[trattenbach]

Happy Battle Against Richard Nixon's Immortal Soul Saturday

[sylvanitchi]

looks at you like this

[formlab]

ZVT SMEP PP-01, 1985

[phimeirai]

absent minded gestures

[phimeirai]

[img id1: 2 characters relaxing on a field overlooking sky scenery]

[img id 2: faun character looking anxious and a bit sweaty wearing an orange overcoat]

et.(,)

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

you are weak of mind and horny of spirit

[pjackk]

and metal of body

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

HOLY SHIT PJACK??????

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

HE WAS BACK FOR THREE HOURS, RESPONDED TO MY POST, AND THEN DIED AGAIN????

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

I feel as though I've been graced with the presence of a deity and I have been called to take up the mantle.

Musterd gravy

[phaeton-flier]

[bebsi-cola]

what they say about leading a horse to water but not being able to force them to drink is so true. like i can make a whole post explicitly about how it is bad awful wrong to be ableist. and people in the notes will be like "yeah fuck those stupid idiots who do this. i hate those brain rotted people with no empathy. people without empathy are monsters we should ostracize everyone like this until they get the point. these bigots are just lazy and unwilling to change. imagine not being able to understand such simple concepts? haha couldn't be me." hey the call is coming from inside the house. shut up