do what makes you happy, think later

apologies in advance for whatever the fuck this is

[adamsmasher]

WE WERE ON JEOPARDY!!!!!!!!!!

[rouge-the-bat]

thank you for coming to my this #mythis

[verminfang]

Thinking about a vampire dude bro who won't drink girl blood- because he's afraid it will estroginise him soy products style- getting trapped in a mental cage when he learns vampire dude who only bites other dudes reads as gay

[cipheramnesia]

Working with different business cultures all over the globe, my biggest surprise is that while the USA is bad, it's not actually the very absolute worst I've ever worked with.

[cipheramnesia]

I can imagine all the guesses, but if you haven't talked with a crap ton of people from dozens of countries, it's not obvious.

[cipheramnesia]

The key is business culture is like its own weird separate culture with rules and structures, but most places have a fairly comprehensible set of expectations. So most of the time, it's just remembering perceived differences in expectations. Some places it's polite to be what feels really overly friendly to me. Some places it's polite to be what feels obsequious and formal to me. It's like, whatever. A secondary form of language kinda. It's not even social cues, it's just mechanics of language really. Places with that stuff, those are all fine and wonderful to deal with because there's a framework to communicate and all that.

Part of why the USA shits the bed trying to talk with is because every business person here has like zero framework, it's all lies and bullshit, and everyone wants to be the smartest bestest boy. It's not business culture as much as daycare for toddlers who have millions of dollars and hate human rights. Not the worst though, not by far.

[cipheramnesia]

What's key to understand is this is all separate from things like the real people in different places. Business brain people don't have any relevance to real human behavior, it's this whole other structure of make believe which controls everyone's well being. It's important to know because I know how to email a business guy in South Korea using language that will feel appropriate enough after translation, but that's completely irrelevant to the real people living there. It's easy to talk to business guys in China or India or whatever. Germany, Nigeria, Mexico.

UK business guys are pretty bad too. Still not the worst but you have to put a lot of extra work in because business culture in the UK still thinks the Brittish empire exists. The majority of business dudes in the UK see no difference between selling something that has their company name on it, and making it themselves. It's like how all the stuff that says "made in the USA" is 99% made somewhere else, and then one staple is put into it and it's made in the USA, but if you talk to business guys here, they never confuse where things are made, just like... more basic realities like linear time and physics. UK guys go the opposite way, and always say they own everything. But that's all relatively navigable. It's like, okay, you all live in an imaginary world, but I can still get everyone to understand time and logistics and stuff enough to get everyone understanding the same information. I can translate imagination land to reality and back, they get it.

[cipheramnesia]

Apparently tumble ate my explanation, but the worst business guys are Australians.

[cipheramnesia]

I cannot stress how much effort I put into explaining things in ways that work for people who aren't native English speakers, because I understand how weird translation can get, and I am not good at other languages. I have so many special little quirks and tricks to make what I say become something moderately clear and apropriate in translation. I can rotate through a dozen approaches to a topic to make it click for someone unfamiliar with what I'm explaining. I know it works because it's been time tested.

Australian executives simply take any information they receive, and do not. Did you say something is going to take a month - after signing a contract and collect a fee? The Australian business executive simply accepts that you have said you have begun work and it will be finished in 48 hours. If I told an Australian executive that the earth revolves around the sun, I would expect him to let me know that I had told him a hamster named Ben carries a really bright lamp around space to make the seasons. I have to painstakingly document every single detail of any interaction with Australian business persons, because they simply imagine things that have happened and information they have been told, and ignore whatever has transpired in actuality.

I have actually warned all my friends off buying anything from Australia - not because I think there's anything specifically wrong with the general quality of Australian goods, but because after every conversation with Australian executives going exactly the same (I say one thing, they declare I have said something completely different), I am hard pressed to believe anyone at a corporate level in Australian businesses actually understands laws, regulations, logistics, safety, or just... words. Every interaction I have with an Australian business guy inevitably stuns me into a loss for words through some completely unanticipated recap of an interaction we had or email I sent which is fully disconnected from the text or actual event. I cannot understand how the people of Australia, not particularly better or worse than people anywhere else, become the worst humans I have had the misfortune to encounter the second they enter the world of business. I wouldn't trust a single Australian executive to pour water out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel.

[horce-divorce]

"I would never jeopardize the beans" pales in comparison to it's newest successor, "beans r not woke. How could u do this?"

[allwhiterain-deactivated2025061]

Matthew Lillard and Angelina Jolie as “Cereal Killer” and “Acid Burn” in Hackers (1995)

[zagreus]

previously unseen genders in human history

[lumsel]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[unusual-pybro]

[m1dori-eyes]

Nobody has ever been capable of writing a scathingly harsh and well formulated satire about the perils of modern capitalism, that doesn't just get immediately one-upped by some random food service worker talking about their actual week.

[hotvampireadjacent]

[kosmogrl]

august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good

[loreleywrites]

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

[tpwrtrmnky]

"Block this ad" isn't good enough, I need a feature that directly tells the company "this was so shit that it lowered my opinion of your product"

[wontonsoupinthemorning-deactiva]

message to all bitches

please survive

[byjove]

at least now we know why he has yet to return when Britain is in peril

[girlkaramazov]

just helped an old old man log into his outlook account and we succeeded and he said “young lady, go in peace. we have accomplished this mission.” what an electrifying way of speaking…

[banhmigoddess]

My one boring tip to anyone in their 20s is to resist the temptation to rot in your room every time you get a free moment. Dismiss any neuroses you have about going outside and "being perceived". Be a dictator about it, plan your hangouts like they are binding commitments. No excuses! Go to the bar with your friends. Be kinda hungover at work. Socializing is like exercise; even if you don't feel like you want to, you should still do it because it's good for you.

[gummybearattacktheworldofdespair]

[sapphic-gengar]

BRING HIM BACK

[gummybearattacktheworldofdespair]

[sapphic-gengar]

oh thank goodness

[annabelle--cane]

in the club fully sober politely informing my friends that I don't like loud sounds and will be leaving early