Just Another Fucked Up Blonde @recklessly-living - Tumblr Blog

perfectquote

“I have survived. I am here. Confused, screwed up, but here.”

— Laurie Halse Anderson

I know I’m pretty

I know I’m smart

I also know I’m not easy

Life spins around me faster than most can handle

Faster than at times even I can handle

I don’t have a choice, I have to hold on for dear life

You don’t

Stick and bones can break your bones

But words have the power to crush your soul

#hannahblum #not my work #recovery #strength #inspiration #quotes #mental illness #mentalstrength #mentalwellness #positive mental attitude

So what if I’m broken...

Maybe I don’t need to fixed. Maybe I just need to love myself for who I am and all my imperfections. Reality is I have learned too much to go back to person I was before I admitted I need help. Before I was labeled as broken or damaged. Fuck it. My power comes from embracing the broken pieces of myself. I get it decide how they are put back together. I have all control now. I would rather be broken than living life by someone else rules.

#lifeafterttreatment\#recovery #edrecovery #life after hate #storyofmylife #bulimina #but maybe #inner thoughts #mental illness #mentalstrength

hunterinabrowncoat

Self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.

It’s skipping meals because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat today. It’s having sex because you want to be used or abused or defiled. It’s drinking recklessly because you might have the ‘courage’ do something stupid. It’s smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know it’s bad for you. It’s banging your head against a wall when you’re angry. It’s crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. It’s thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. It’s not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. It’s taking painkillers in excess because you know it’s dangerous. It’s walking home the more dangerous way because you’re kind of half hoping you’ll get attacked or raped or stabbed. It’s going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you can’t find your way back. It’s seeking out triggering material. It’s all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.

Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you don’t put any effort into doing the things you like or need.

It’s a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesn’t only happen in one way.

havingcompassion-deactivated202

If you see me looking zoned out it’s cuz im having a therapy session with myself in my head

Why does nobody talk about the difficulties of having an eating disorder in your 20s ???

#recovery #it's not as simple as just eating #eating disorder #eating diary #eating disoder thoughts

heart-of-a-wildflower-deactivat

Eating disorders have many faces

They can look like fearing carbs and fats and they can look like carefully planned ‘junk food’.

They can look like drinking litres of water and they can look like a fear of liquids.

They can look like constant adrenaline-fueled activity and they can look like being unable to move.

They can look like strict regimes and they can look like a jumbled mess.

They can look like constant checking in mirrors and they can look like a fear of your reflection.

They can look like loved ones begging you to change and they can look like nobody knowing there’s a problem.

They can look like drips and tubes and they can look like being physically healthy.

They can look like relapses and recovery attempts and they can look like never changing.

They can look like countless behaviours always changing and they can look like the same thing every day.

They can look like isolating yourself from the world and they can look like an active social life.

They can look like years of treatment and they can look like never getting help.

They can look like understanding that there is a problem and they can look like complete denial.

There is no one image of someone with an eating disorder, as there is no one image of someone with a broken leg, someone with cancer, someone with a virus.