Can things stay "casual" between you and your best friend ? Wc: 5.5k
Pairings : Bsf!Nicholas x afab!reader
Genre : (MDNI) Smut (such as cunnilingus and foreplay) , Slow-burn , Angst , Romance , Drama , Fluff , Some fighting (nothing too bad)
♡ ; First full fic im so excited aaaaa!! I'm putting my foot and ass in this so you better like it. Feel free to send me any requests but before that read my rules!! Happy reading!
"I like you. Nicholas." You spoke, your voice trembling, your body shaky as you confessed to him. Your heart thumping, almost like it was ready to burst out of your chest and run away. The silence was noisy. Too noisy, you could hear your own organs at work. Tears dwelling in your eyes as the tv screen flickered off, you didn't have any courage to look at him. You and Nicholas were sat on the couch, a wide space seperating you as you watched a movie in silence. No commentary on the movie, no laughter, no emotion. The silence wasn't comforting but it wasn't suffocating. You felt as if the half eaten pizza stared back at you as it sat on the table. Your confession lingering in the air, you couldn't bring yourself to look at him or cry. You could feel his stare burning into the back of your neck, "No.. I love you." You found a little courage in your heart to speak up again, your words floating around as you waited a little longer for a response. "I-" he finally spoke but you knew you had to stop him. "Just.. save it. I know you still love her."
Buckets of rain poured down from the dark moon-lit sky, drumming at your windows almost as if it's begging to be let in. Your apartment had a heating system, so at cold times like this, your apartment is warm and toasty, as if you were laying in a large croissant that had just been freshly baked. You're snuggled up against your pillows, under your thick, cozy, warm blanket when all of a sudden you hear your doorbell ring. Not once.. not twice.. not thrice.. it just kept going, aggressively ringing in your ear as you groaned, getting up from your bed in your robe. You stomped to your front door, gripping onto the handle and swinging it open, revealing a soaking wet Nicholas. He lets himself in, your floor wet from all the droplets dripping from his clothes and hair. You sigh in frustration, "Nichol, why are you here? And why were you in the rain?" He didn't answer you. He just turnt his head to look at you as you spoke. A frown plastered on his face, his brows were furrowed, his jaw clenched, his eyes watery and puffy, looks like someone has been crying but why? He walked up to you, dropping his head to your shoulder and wrapped his arms around you as he sobbed uncontrollably. In his cold embrace, he looked for warmth in you. It was awfully soothing as both of your bodies were different temperatures, you hugged him back hoping it would bring even just a little bit of comfort to him. "She.. she broke up *hic* ..with me.." he managed to sniffle out, he raised his weight off of your shoulder to look at you, trying his best to wipe away his own tears. "Breathe, Nico. It's okay, I'm here."
Nicholas and his ex girlfriend had always argued, there was only non-stop back and forth all the time. Sometimes after arguments, Nicholas would invite you to come with him and his ex on a date they had planned out to figure out their feelings for each other. To mend everything back up after their fight. They looked like, and were, a really cute couple. Oh, and you? You were just a third wheel, pitching into whatever conversations they were having, sometimes even getting ignored while they laughed at each other's jokes. They would always hold hands and walk in front of you, even going as far as leaving you behind in your thoughts. Nicholas was your best friend and his ex girlfriend seemed sweet to you but she never got took the time to get to know you, so it was awkward. You didn't choose to have feelings for Nicholas. They just appeared over the years of being his friend. His comfort friend. His know-it-all friend. His ride or die. Sure, he would ignore you for his ex or even ditching your friendship get-togethers. He would even go as far as defending his ex when you told him she was bringing up the same things from the past, things that he had apologized for a million times, things that weren't even that big of a problem. He even defended her when you told him about leaving you alone at the bar with your other friends because she had a mere headache. You had no transport since you came with Nicholas, you had no choice but the walk home that night, alone, cold, needing someone to offer his jacket even though you said no, needing someone to take you home safe. You never thought once about telling him your feelings as they would probably break your bond with him or even leading to him and his girlfriend breaking up. But you were never the cause for this or so you thought.
He had been over to your apartment more than you could count. Since they had a shared apartment together, he would bring most of his laundry to spend nights over at your place. It was tucked away in the empty closet space you had for a long time, until now. He showered and dressed himself in the comfort of your apartment, throwing his wet clothes onto your robe that was already in the laundry basket as he moved towards the living room where you sat. He moved quietly to your kitchen, opening your fridge to find anything that would ease the still lump in his throat. The rain was the only thing that was heard from inside, both of you remained silent, you didn't ask him questions, didn't ask how he felt, the air felt different from how it usually is between the two of you. He walked over to you, sitting beside you, a tub of strawberry ice cream in hand. "Want some?" He asked, handing you a spoon he had grabbed for you beforehand. You nodded, leaning your whole body into the space that was between you two on the couch before scooping up a spoonful of ice cream and shoving it into your mouth. You melted into the couch, the flavour of strawberry, familiar on your tastebuds but you couldn't get enough of it, "you can eat the whole tub if it makes you feel better. I bought it for you anyway," you looked as him as he looked down with his sad eyes, playing in the ice cream with his spoon. "I won't.. but if I do, I owe you. I always do." He laughs, taking another small scoop of ice cream, his eyes finding your tilted head, looking at him up and down. "Do you?" You asked, returning to your side of the couch, he shook his head. "It's.. whatever, forget it." He takes scoops of ice cream little by little. As time flies, you found yourself showing him videos of you and him along with some of your other friends. You giggled, showing him all the silly videos you had but he didn't seem to reaction. He just smiled and nodded. Your apartment, his physical self, you. All of it becoming a blur as Nicholas tried everything to get his mind off of her, off of them but he just couldn't. He wanted to go back, to go back and try again with her, but doing that would only break him again. His mind kept drifting off to thoughts of his relationship with her. Every date they went on, every funny inside joke they had, every detail on her face, every beauty mark she felt insecure about, every time she smiled at him. The good memories he had of her were a few, the bad memories were by the thousands, he knew he couldn't go back to her even if he wanted to. There were good times but majority were bad because of her constant nagging and jealousy.
You caught on eventually, the smile from your face dropping, looking everywhere but Nicholas. You knew you couldn't help him, he couldn't help himself. You breathed out, trying to hold yourself back from forming a hole of sadness in your heart. The tub of ice cream on the table, melting away within minutes of being outside, the only thing that could comfort you right now. You take a scoop, swallow, it doesn't work. You felt like the hole was being drilled deeper into your heart, "Nicholas?" You called out, looking at his still sat figure, he didn't flinch, he didn't respond or look at you. He just stared blankly into nothing, thoughts flooding his mind like a tsunami. You stayed seated for a little, the awkward silence, the suffocating atmosphere. You sighed, a tear you hadn't noticed formed dropped onto your cheek. You quickly wiped it away, standing up from the couch, causing Nicholas to jump, also scaring you a bit. "Oh my gosh.. are you okay?" Your hand over your heart as you let out a sigh of relief, his lips parted slightly like he was about to say something but he didn't, instead he nodded silently. "Are you done with the ice cream?" He nodded again, like he was holding himself back from speaking. Because if he did, he would break down again. Your apartment only had one bed, so that meant Nicholas had to sleep on your couch, he was used to it though, he had already made it look like a cozy looking bed. "Well, I'm going to bed. Goodnight." After you put the ice cream back into your freezer, you marched your way towards your bedroom until you freezed as you heard him say, "Wait.." you looked at him, confused. "What?" His lips parted again, only for him to shake his head. Basically wasting like 8 seconds of your life.
You finally settled into your bed once more, fully letting yourself sink down into the mattress, engulfed in your thick blanket. Just as you're about to shut your eyes, you heard a knock on your bedroom door, "Come in." Nicholas stood there completely still, almost scaring you. "I don't.. I don't think I can sleep alone tonight.. Can I.. sleep on your bed?" You smiled warmly, patting the other side of your bed, motioning him to lay there. This wasn't foreign to you. You used to sleep on the same bed at sleepovers. Ever since he got a girlfriend though, he stopped. Obviously to respect her boundaries, you understood that too. But you had to admit you were just a tad bit jealous. His body sinking down into the mattress, turning over to you as you had your head propped up on your hand. "It's been so long.. well, don't let the bedbugs bite." You fell back on your bed, turning away from him, your back facing him. You clinged onto your pillows, your heart still hurting from him ignoring you, you knew it wasn't intentional, but it still hurt you. It hurt to see someone who you loved so dearly, forget about you in an instant whenever he thought about his ex. The feeling of your stomach churning, your face tensed up as a wave of depression flowed over your relaxed body when you realized you would never stand a chance against her, you probably would never experience Nicholas the way she did. Your eyes watery just from the thought, you couldn't let him hear you cry as he was right behind you. You didn't want to but it came out on it's own. You sobbed into your pillow for the rest of the night until finally falling asleep.
Your eyes fluttered open, revealing a sleeping Nicholas. You couldn't help but stare at his face, how could someone be this handsome? Even at the crack of dawn. You shake your head, knowing you probably won't have any chance. He let out soft snores, his mouth slightly ajar as you rubbed your eyes, trying to get the blur out of your vision, sitting up on your bed. The sunlight beaming through your curtains, the warm of the sun burning comfortably into your skin, you stretched your arms out, yawning before looking at the time. Nicholas slept like a zombie while you got up and got yourself ready for the day, cooking up a storm for you and him while listening to your favorite playlist, trying a dance or two you had seen online. "Is that your way of dancing?" A deep raspy voice echoed through your apartment followed by a chuckle, his hair ruffled, skin clear, his smile almost like a cat's. "I woke up and you were gone." He sat on a stool at the kitchen island, you passed him his plate, fluffy pancakes covered with powdered sugar, syrup and topped with two strawberries cut in half. "I was making you breakfast. Atleast be grateful." You pouted. He shrugged and took a bite, his eyebrows furrowed, nodding as the taste exploded in his mouth. This was his way of being grateful, I guess. "You always know how to comfort me." He flashed you his smile before taking another bite, trying to savour the flavour. You smiled back, feeling warm inside. Maybe.. some part of him feels the same way you do.
Days passed, seeming as if Nicholas had forgotten about her long ago, like she never existed. Which scared a part of you, what if you guys never speak again if you confess and would he forget that you existed in a snap of a finger? You had to go pick up some things at the grocery store so you had asked Nicholas to tag along and he did. Not too long after grocery shopping, you stopped at a nearby cafe in the area. It was one of your favorites, maybe even one of Nico's favorites too since he had been going to it ever since you introduced him. After ordering your drinks, the both of you decided to walk around for a bit while sipping on whatever your order was. "I used to take her there, you know?" You turn to look up at him, you deadpanned him as he brought her up. "Nicholas. Can you not." "I know. I don't care about her anymore, it's fine." You both started walking back to his car by then in complete silence, you didn't want to say a word, you completely ignored him before asking, "what should we have for dinner?" "Hmm, pizza maybe? We can watch a movie while eating?" You nodded, you couldn't say no to it, you weren't planning to. Whatever he wanted, you were going to agree with, to sort of comfort him a bit.
The pizza you ordered arrived, the movie was picked out specifically by Nicholas. "The Notebook? I wanted to watch it with her but I have you now." You just gave in to him, seeing him smile ever so brightly. "You always had me." You mumbled, not enough for him to hear. You wish. You could only wish he had loved you back. It had you thinking, what if you confessed before he had gotten to know her? He only ever spoke to her because you pushed him to. Thinking she would just be another good friend to both of you, but it became different as the years went by, they spent everything together. Nicholas left you behind to be with her, like a distant memory he'll soon forget. The movie flashes, you're half in your thoughts, half into the movie but you were mostly following the movie. It was heartbreaking, to see Martha being left behind because Noah had found Allie again. Almost like you and Nicholas, you don't know if he'll leave and go back to her again. You never know, but you know that he will eventually want to try again. You know him too well. He's already thinking about it since he's bringing her up every time something reminds him of her. Your stomach filled with anxiety, you were at your breaking point. You glanced over at him, sitting right next to you but there was a space in between you both. There was always a space. A distance seperating you two. That space represents his ex girlfriend. You felt as if that space would be there forever. You couldn't tell if it would be, you just felt it.
You swallowed nothing, your heart racing like you were going down a rollercoaster, "Nicholas." "Hm?" He responded, his eyes glued to the screen, he didn't even turn to fully look at you. "I like you.. Nicholas." A tension headache slowly creeping in, your heart felt like it would burst out of your chest and run away from you in this moment. You were hoping it would do that, you'd be saved from his reply. Your head turned away from him, from the screen, the half eaten pizza still sitting on the table, almost as if it's judging you. "I like you too." He smiled, eyes still glued on the movie. You guys said this to each other too many times before, it became something that was normal between just friends, little did he know, you actually meant it deep down inside. You sighed, saving the last bit of courage to speak again, "no.. I love you, Nicholas. Not as a friend." He slowly turned to you, noticing your body language had changed, your head facing the wall, not even bothering to look at him. Your eyes teary, you could barely hold in your tears, you softly sniffled, your breath shaky, the confession lifted some weight off your shoulders but the pain still there. His hand reached the tv remote, pressing on the 'off' button as he fully shifted his body to face you, "I-" "Just save it, don't waste your time. I know you still love her." You got up from where you were sitting, still not able to face him, you left him alone in the living room. Falling onto your bed, you let it all out, you screamed into your pillows, sobbed into them. You were curled up in your bed, crying yourself to sleep. The worst part is, Nicholas could hear everything on the couch. He laid there, arm resting on his head as he heard you. Every little squeaky cry, every sniffle was from the bottom of your heart.
You hadn't spoken to him in days, even though he was still in your apartment, every time he tried to start up a conversation, you just went into a room he wasn't in or completely ignored him. Nicholas felt guilt. Too much guilt. Realizing how much he hurt you. How much he left you for her, but even if he wanted to be there for you, his ex would stop him. She never really liked you, never tried to show it to you but she did to Nicholas. She always thought you were stealing him from her. She was always jealous of you from the start but she'd never admit to it. The arguments? She started all of them, never missing the chance to sneak you into it. The reason they broke up? Because of you. She didn't like you at all, the thought of him being with you sickened her. She always told Nicholas about you being sketchy, Nicholas could only try to defend you but when he did, "then be with her!" She would shout at him, he was exhausted of her. He never told you this until he caught you in the kitchen, making something for yourself to munch on.
"She never liked you." He confessed as he silently sat on the bar stool, trying so hard not to scare you away but the second you heard his voice you were already walking out of the kitchen. He got up, gripping lightly on your wrist, you turned around, you were irked. "Please.. just listen. I want to talk to you. I have to." There you were, sitting on your couch again, just like that night you confessed. A space. Always a damn space. Until Nicholas moved closer, trying to break the tension in the air, he rested his hand on your knee, making slow circles, like he's trying to his best to keep you there. He told you everything, confessing that his feelings for her grew weaker whenever he stayed in your apartment. He would forget about the stupid arguments they had about you, forgetting the way she would judge you after the three of you went out together. He could finally admit she was frustrating to be with, finally opening up to you like he should have the night they broke up. He would only mention her a few times with you since he missed being in love, missed being in love with someone who wasn't her, missed being in love with you. Before he even got to know her, he was all about you. He looked for you in everything, even in his own girlfriend. He knew it wasn't right, it will never be but you were always on his mind during dates. Even the ones where they both left you behind, he looked for you. Not her, dragging him away from you, just you, looking back to find you as you faded into the crowd of people. Hoping some day it would be you. Turns out, you were always his "Allie".
As much as he hated to admit that he missed some things about her, he still loved you deep down and couldn't deny any of his feelings. He never got the chance to tell you, before and after getting a girlfriend. He was so caught up in respecting her while she kept disrespecting you, it felt like he was trying to juggle both of you in hand, knowing one of you would leave soon enough but still hoping that it wouldn't be you. He felt a sense of joy whenever he's with you. A feeling she wasn't able to give. "I love you too, _____. You mean the world to me." Your head was plastered to the wall, staring at it blankly as you heard the words escaping from his mouth. "I feel like I wanna try again.. not with her.. but this time.. with you?" Every wave of emotion washed over you, you couldn't comprehend what was going on. As if God had given you a chance in this trashy world. You turned to him and blinked, shocked, flustered, like a deer caught in headlights. You freezed up on the spot, not knowing what to respond with. You pinch yourself, trying to see if it's just a dream but it stings. "Oh nico.." you pulled him into a hug, you could feel how much his heart was beating against yours. He rest his head on your shoulder, taking your hand in his own, and you embraced each other for a while.
Nicholas and you were now officially dating. His ex moved out of the shared apartment they had together, leaving it in his care as she found herself settling elsewhere. You could care less about what his ex had to say about you or him. You always thought her sweet side was always too good to be true. Your instincts were right. Now, you could do all the lovey dovey things with him without having to be left behind. You had left Nicholas in your apartment for a girls day out, with your friends, Dina and Josey. "Wait baby, don't go.." He pleaded as he pouted, begging you to stay with him for the rest of the day but you had already booked reservations. "Relax, you can handle some hours without me. Besides you're picking me up anyway." You skipped over to the door, waving goodbye to him as he reciprocated. Your friends already waiting for you in the restaurant, excitingly waving and hugging you, congratulating you on bagging the finest man alive. You had told them some of the stuff that happened but now you were going to tell them everything that happened and how it happened. "Ugh.. she's such a bitch.. who said that!" Dina covered her mouth, looking around as the both of you giggle at her. "No but seriously why does she not like you? It's not like you would take her man. I mean.. you kinda did.." You shrugged, your friends were always supportive of you, always backing you every single chance they get and you were glad. They were mutuals friends with Nicholas, they knew his girlfriend, not as good as they know you though. They always told you she had a vibe to her that they couldn't explain.
Time flies when your having fun, your girls day comes to an end, the food at the restaurant utterly delicious, you had to order something for Nicholas before you left. You and your friends were still sat at the table, sipping on the last bit of wine you had left. All of a sudden, you felt somebody tap your shoulder. You turned around. It was her. Nico's ex. The energy shifted, your friends's eyes stuck onto her as she spoke, "hey! I didn't know you'd be here.. can I sit with you?" She flashed a coy smile, moving over to the empty seat next to you. "I'm sitting right over there.. I'm on a date right now, I just came over to say hi." Oh okay because we were dying to know right, you thought. You nodded, not really wanting to talk to her since you really knew what she was behind that sweet appearance. "Not with Nicholas.. me and him broke up about 2 weeks ago." "Oh, I know.. he told me.. he's been staying at my place." You took a sip of your wine, looking at your friends as they held back their laughter. She scoffs, looking at you up and down, "so what? Are you guys fucking now? Were you guys always fucking?" You shook your head, "no, you're getting the wrong idea.. we wouldn't do that to you. We are now, though. Sorry to break it to you." She gasped, she stood up, towering over you with a finger pointed in your face, "I knew you wanted my man! I always knew, but he was too dumb to see through you!" You could feel her anger radiating off of her, so you matched her bitter energy. You stood up and mimicked the way she pointed her finger in your face. "Who's man? Mine?" You could only giggle at her being so pissed at you. Smack! She hit you, your friends watch in awe. Your mouth hung open, slowly turning towards her and slapped her back. You grabbed her by her hair, 3 uppercuts to her chin. You're on top of her, continuously beating on her, not letting her get up for even a second. Eventually, your friends and security had stepped in, dragging the both of you away from each other. The crowd in the restaurant watching in absolute awe as you felt arms wrap around your waist. You turned around, it was Nicholas. Your friends still checking on his ex, she was looking at you with pure hatred, with a bloody lip and a knotted forehead, it's almost like you could see the flames in her eyes. "Baby.. let's go home and get you cleaned up." Nicholas dragged you away from the ruckus, thanking your friends for taking care of you and took you and the food that was bought for him to his car. His ex looked at him in sorrow, "Nicholas!" She called out to him, sobbing as her date came in to wipe her lip, blocking her view of Nicholas. Now she was the one wishing he was there for her. He didn't glance at her once, his main focus was you. Checking on you to see if you had any wounds on your face but to his surprise, you were clean. You knew she regretted slapping you.
You finally reached home, it was dark outside. The food you had bought for Nicholas sitting on the kitchen island, waiting to be eaten. Nicholas got an ice pack for you as he saw some swelling on your cheek from the previous slap, placing it on your cheek as he held it in place. His eyes still scanning your face for any bruises, he found nothing, just your eyes A sigh of relief escaping from his lips, his other hand resting on your other cheek, caressing you. "This will stop any unnecessary swelling.. I love you, don't ever get hurt." He brought your forehead to his, keeping it there for a while as he closed his eyes, he slowly pecked your lips. The peck turning into something more, his lips never wanting to leave yours. He let the ice pack drop onto the floor beside the couch as he guided you back unto the couch, laying you down whilst your lips stayed connected. "Mmm.. I love you too Nichol.." you managed to let out, the words lingering inside Nico's head as your lips locked together, becoming sloppier by the second as he slid his tongue into your mouth. He was such a good kisser, his hands feeling all over your body before making it's way over to your lower body. He slowly broke the kiss whilst still continuing down your body, nibbling and licking at your neck, every inch of him moving cautiously towards the waistband of your pants. He looked up at you, "Can I?" You nodded aggressively, he slid them down, revealing your black laced panties you had put on just for him incase. His hand on your inner thigh, spreading you open so his head could fit in between. His fingers moving over your panties, rubbing small circles on the already wet fabric as he looked up at you throwing your head back on the arm rest of the couch, letting out your sweet soft whimpers. He smirked, you could feel his hot breath on you, the grip on your thigh tightened as he moved in. His tongue scraping at the fabric of your panties, flicking it over your clothed sensitive bud.
You bit your lips and tried so hard to suppress all your noises so the neighbours wouldn't hear, "let it out for me, yea? They have to hear what I do to you." You gave in, letting your lips go. Nicholas couldn't care less about what the damn neighbours heard. He softly bit at your panties, pulling them aside with his teeth, revealing your bare self. "Hmm.. look at me while I enjoy my meal, baby." You felt him hum against you, a gasp leaving your lips as you returned your gaze to him almost immediately. His hungry eyes stayed on you, like a lion ready to devour it's prey. His lips wraps around your bud, part sucking, part licking as one of his hand moved over to your clothed breasts the other stayed at your thigh. He slipped his hand underneath your t-shirt, squeezing gently as he caresses your already hard nipple. He was eating you out like he was starved for days. Eating you out like he always wanted to. Eating you out like his real food wasn't on the kitchen island. His eyes stayed on you the whole time and you returned that fucked out look, trying to keep your eyes from rolling back. His eyes are so seductive you think could nut just from looking into them. His mouth latching onto your clit, he removed his hand from your thigh, coating his fingers with your slick for easier access. He slid his fingers into you slowly, curling them up at the right time and instantly found your g-spot with how loud your moans were getting. His fingers thrusting deeply inside you as you arched your back, grinding into his face you chased your own high against him. The way he looked up at you, the way his fingers moved in and out of you and curled at the right spot, you felt like you had entered heaven. You crashed onto him, your juices spilling onto his fingers, some on his face. You whimpered out his sweet name repeatedly as you shook through your orgasm, Nicholas laid beside you on the couch wrapping his arms around you as he pulled you into another kiss. You tasted yourself on his lips, he kissed you passionately before pulling away and nuzzling himself into your neck. He breathed you in like you were fresh air, "You did so well, my love." He said, placing gentle kisses on you neck before he looked at you, a playful smirk gathered on his lips, "let's continue this in bed, hmm?" He brushed his nose against yours before pecking your lips, you smiled "anything for you." Finally feeling at home with the man you always wanted and you had him wrapped right around your fingers now.
tangentwithtanner
gummygunk
kianamaiart
areudirty
izzy806
dailybridgerton
romaincrisis
