what doesn't bend breaks

sex-pos & body-pos. queer, feminist, in recovery.

[wasjopara]

*googles number i dont recognize calling me instead of answering*

[featuresofinterest]

it seems so strange to me that the only people it is socially acceptable to live with (once you reach a certain stage in life) are sexual partners? like why can’t i live with my best friend? why can’t i raise a child with them? why do i need to have sex with someone in order to live with them? why do we put certain relationships on a pedestal? why don’t we value non-sexual relationships enough? why do life partners always have to be sexual partners?

[greenjudy]

My grandmother and grandfather more or less adopted my grandmother’s best friend back in the 50s. After my grandfather died (before I was born, back in 1968 or so) they continued to keep house together, platonic best friends, and they hung together until they died, a few months apart, in 2007.

It’s quite recently, as far as I can tell, that living arrangements like that have stopped being regarded as normal.

[deathcomes4u]

It’s absolutely a new thing to find this stuff weird, and it has a lot to do with media pretending that the nuclear family and marriage are the only reasons to live with other people.

I’ve lived in a 3 adult household my whole life. My parents and their best friend. This was never weird to me, even though everyone my age thought it was because the media never portrayed these kinds of housing arrangements. As far as i was concerned, I just had an extra non-blood parent.

According to my parents, it was very common in the 70′s-80′s to buy houses with your friends, because it was financially smart to do so (so long as you were certain they were close friends who wouldn’t fall out with you and fuck everything up). Houses and house payments are much more manageable when you split the bills 3-4 ways instead of just two.

Millenials aren’t the first to think it’s a great idea to just shack up with friends. That’s housemating without the hastle of living with strangers. It’s still a good idea to shack up with people you’ve known a long time so you know how you’ll get on living together, but still. In the current economy, it’s pretty much now our only option for affording anything.

I think, and I’m not researched on this, but I think conservatives probably tried to suppress images of non-nuclear families because they likely thought it would encourage ideas of polygamy, polyamory, open sexual relationships with or without marriage, as well as other relationship types they thought of as un-christian or unsavoury. I could be wrong, but that shit wouldn’t surprise me.

(And i want to make a note that there’s also a disturbing amount of asexual denial around that makes people go ‘if they’re living together they HAVE to be banging because why wouldn’t they?’ and that shit both creeps me out and annoys me no end. People can be in relationships without sex. People can live together without sex. Sex is not the be-all and end-all and people being taught to think it is really need to stop).

Don’t let the media fool you into believing you can only live with a sexual partner or blood family. Someone somewhere has an agenda for making these seem abnormal, when really it’s just practical.

Abusers are really good at is making you feel like your anger is worse than their abuse.

[closet-keys]

This is so important. Many survivors have spent months or years not being allowed to express anger or being made to feel ashamed for experiencing anger. 

So if you know a survivor, and you tell them that they “can’t” or “shouldn’t” be angry, that will almost certainly be triggering, and it’s really cruel. 

Telling survivors that they need to “get past” their anger or to “be the bigger person” or “holding onto anger is like holding onto a hot coal” or “anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die” or that “healing is only possible with forgiveness” or that “forgiveness will set you free,” or that “being angry means the abuser still has control,” or that experiencing anger makes the survivor as bad as the abuser, or whatever else– that’s culturally imposed abuse apologism and if you want to be an ally, you need to unlearn resorting to those platitudes when trying to comfort survivors. 

It’s okay to experience anger. It’s literally the natural reaction to boundary violation, and when someone’s boundaries have been repeatedly violated and broken down for years, it’s important for a person’s health to be able to experience and express that anger. It honestly really is. 

[fishyandclintbarton]

This is the most genius thing i’ve seen in years. Thank you happytoast.co.uk 💯

[alphaflyer]

The internet can be a marvellous place.

[tielan]

*DED OF LAFF* *DED*

[maggiemunkee]

@ssteele680

[ladydrace]

Has anyone else noticed how, when you have a chronic condition of some kind, that there’s always the basic assumption from people around you that you’re not already doing everything you can?

[squidsqueen]

It’s all about the illusion of control. People who are healthy like to believe they can always keep being healthy if they do the right things. They don’t want to think about how good people get struck with terrible circumstances for no reason. So they keep assuming that if they got sick, they could do something to make it better. And if you’re still sick, that must mean you’ve done something wrong or not done enough.

[a-spoon-is-born]

this is true for so very many things…

[punforrestpun-deactivated201903]

Actually tbh 99% of the people who profess to ‘love only animals’ but ‘hate humans’ usually, have no idea what human suffering looks like on a mass scale, have no concept of personal responsibility when it comes to being a human, and use their fucked up ideas about overpopulation and human worthlessness as a pseudo-activist, pseudo-hippy, pseudo-academic mask for their classism and hatred of poor people and minorities so fuck off

Using words like ‘breeders’ & being proud of hating children is not cool or edgy or woke, it just makes you look like an out of touch, racist, classist asshole

[faggottt]

90% of my day is me being nervous

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

I don’t care if Hillary Clinton is corrupt. I don’t care if she lies, if she cheats, if she eats bowls of newborn chipmunks for breakfast.

She is literally the only thing standing in the way of a fascist dictator becoming President of the United States with a Republican majority congress that guarantees he can do anything he wants and nothing will be able to stop him.

I was and still am a Bernie supporter, and I hate a lot of things about Clinton, but none of that matters anymore. If Trump is elected, people are going to die. Women are going to die when Roe v Wade is overturned and Planned Parenthood is defunded. LGBTQ people are going to die when conversion therapy is further legalized and more bathroom bills are passed. POC are going to die as Trump rounds up Mexican immigrants, gives more power to the police, and fuels the fires of Islamaphobia. Poor people are going to die as Obamacare gets overturned and further cuts are made to welfare programs. And that’s just in this country. That’s not even taking account the all-too-likely outcomes of Trump starting new wars in the Middle East and having control of nuclear bombs that he’s said he ‘would not rule out’ using.

This is no longer even about ‘the lesser of two evils’. This is not ‘scare tactics’. This is literally life and death. Don’t fuck around and tell me you’re voting third-party or not voting at all, because you don’t have that luxury. 

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

I am delighted that this post has gotten as many notes as it has, but as Election Day grows closer I would like to flush it out with some additional information and facts, particularly for those people who are still considering voting third party and those who still consider Clinton “just as bad” as Trump.

Why you shouldn’t vote for Jill Stein

Why you shouldn’t vote for Gary Johnson

Why you shouldn’t vote third party AT ALL: x, x, x, x (hint, it’s because the electoral college presently makes it impossible for third party to win)

Worried about Clinton’s scandals? John Oliver breaks it down.

Comparison of Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders’ views. They voted the same 93% of the time. 

A comprehensive review of Donald Trump’s corruption

Donald Trump is being sued for raping a 13 year old girl in 1994, and there is merit to the case.

Oxford Economics predicts that Trump’s policies would remove $1 trillion from the US economy, while the Peterson Institute projects that a Trump presidency could cost nearly 5 million US jobs.

Donald Trump repeatedly asked why the US couldn’t use nuclear weapons

Donald Trump’s cruel streak

37 of the most offensive things Trump ever said

Donald Trump unveils plan to make abortion illegal again

Feds investigating Trump advisor’s meeting with Russian officials seeking to influence U.S. election (Trump called Putin a better leader than Obama.)

Trump’s campaign paid his businesses $8.2 million

Trump flies in a plane with gold-plated bathroom fixtures and pays for it with tax dollars

Trump’s financial plan would increase the debt by $5.3 trillion above current levels, Clinton’s by $200 billion 

Trump wants to eliminate food safety regulations

Trump was sued by the Justice Department for housing discrimination against black people

Trump has reaped at least $885 million in tax breaks, grants and other subsidies for luxury apartments, hotels and office buildings in New York

Concerned that Hillary Clinton defended a child rapist? She tried to get out of it, but she had no choice. 

The official Republican platform includes banning abortion, overturning marriage equality, no background checks for purchasing guns, declaring coal “clean energy”, religion used as a guide for legislation, a border wall, and pornography declared a “public menace”.

Politifact says that Hillary has made ‘false’ statements 11% of the time and ‘pants on fire’ statements 2%, compared to Trump’s 37% and 17%.

Bernie supporter? Bernie says that now is not the time for a protest vote. Bernie tells you why you should vote for Hillary Clinton. Bernie says that Trump must not become president.

Please do not waste your vote. You can complain about Hillary Clinton as much as you want, but complain about her while you vote for her.

[silly-luv]

[fall1997]

can you hear how loudly im thinking of you

[highlights-of-the-lowlife]

Stop vilifying adults that live with their parents.

We’re still deep in one of the worst economic recessions of modern times. For many of us its not a choice but a requirement in order to survive. For many of us we have disabilities that make finding accommodation that suit our needs a lot harder and a lot more expensive.

Many of us pay into the household. Many of us are trapped in abusive households because we don’t have the means to leave. We aren’t moochers or afraid to leave the nest. The world simply isn’t built to support us anymore.

[daloy-politsey-deactivated20171]

Thank you so much for this post! I’ve been wondering and asking about positivity posts (although this isn’t exactly a positivity post, but it’s a post that tells people not to shame us, which is close) for people who still live with their parents (especially people who’ve finished school) for a while.

[youcanthandelthetruth]

Some old fella came up to me at work and asked a question only he didn’t quite figure out if he should call me “sir” or “ma’am” by the time he got to the end of his sentence and in a moment of apparent panic ended up saying “captain” instead. Absolutely made my day.

[foxpackmain-moved-deactivated20]

petition to call non binary people captain

[evilsupplyco]

New relationship status: Plutonic

Plutonic: a relationship based on a love affair and/or dwelling in the underworld, darkness, spirits, ghosts, and various forms of undead.

May or may not be sexual. May or may not be with one other person. Acceptable for all genders and sexualities (and lack thereof).

“This is my plutonic partner, whom I often travel with to graveyards and seek out the unseen netherworld.”

[orriculum]

@cosmicprismwitch @vulpes-caeli so this is us, let’s make it facebook official

[cosmicrystalwitch]

Yis

[versaceslut]

[wessasaurus-rex]

The first time i saw this vine, i laughed so hard. 

[breebird33]

YESSS MY FAVORITE!!!!

[photinusheart-old]

I ALMOST SHOVED MY COMPUTER OFF MY DESK OH GOD

I said that this couldn’t be that great.

I was so wrong.

[hahamagartconnect]

THINGS WE LOVE: the Suzanna Scott (@suzanna_scott) ‘Coin Cunt’ project - old kisslock coin purses, turned inside out, folded and stitched to resemble a vulva.

[fffffxjjjjj]

This is so fucking clever, omg. 

[pisigben-deactivated20210913]

[resistresist-blog]

I'm happy

🤗🤗🤗