Coochies N Creme

✨Sadie, 24, Gemini, lesbian✨

[parkchanwoohoo]

[konohahater]

car is a sentient beast that eats dollars and can tell when you have money in your bank account

[konohahater]

🎯

[maculategiraffe]

[id: screenshot of a reply by valerico: Car is an expensive horse that loves to die]

[sorrelchestnut]

I mean to be fair any horse is also an expensive horse that loves to die.

[notaplaceofhonour]

Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower

[notaplaceofhonour]

that man has been trying to climb this tower since he was 16. he has asked multiple times, and every time they said no, but now he’s famous enough & variety was able to convince them to do a shoot on the tower. it all led here. it was all for this.

[notaplaceofhonour]

I’m obsessed with the implication that this was a coming-of-age ritual where a boy becomes a man, like a bar mitzvah

[enjoloras-deactivated20220821]

Okay so Victorian erotica is literally the most heinous, morally bankrupt, horrific shit I've ever read - but I've read a fair bit, partly from historical interest but also because a while back I helped a friend with a university project she was doing about censorship and pornography in 19th century England.

Anyway I need to share with you all the most hilarious line that has ever been written, circa 1887:

[prokopetz]

I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.

[kingarniestar-deactivated202509]

me when im a flea

[babyfoxcollectionthings]

[zitasaurusrex]

unrestrained summer fun

[important-cat-pics]

[infectiouspiss]

you're mommy's good little printer aren't you? you'll print whatever mommy tells you to because otherwise mommy gets sad and leaves you for one of those free use library printer sluts

[infectiouspiss]

mommy needs you to print this document now and if you don't mommy is going to turn you off at the wall

[infectiouspiss]

listen to mommy okay? if you don't be a good little printer and fucking print my document and i know you want to okay mommy can see it in your print queue if you don't. print. my fucking document. mommy's going to get the hammer

[newyorkkiss]

girl on club dancefloor has her feet cooled by a friend pouring smirnoff ice over them (2000)

[2000three]

Mary Magdalene washing Christ's feet

[cazort]

I love how every time I log on, this site attains new levels of heresy. I can't wait to see what is next.

[sonypraystation]

holy shit can we be thankful that there are only like, 2 types of phone chargers nowadays? if youre phone died in 2007 you were fuck outta luck

[robcanvas-deactivated20180718]

[sonypraystation]

this shit had to be a fuckin fire hazard or something i swear to goddd

[officialcrow]

they beat jesus with that

[kronkk]

happy good friday

[headaching]

march 4th? unto where?

[dailycatsblog]

[the-composite-doll]

Wait is that THIS cat?

IT IS

[robotdwarf]

Turns out the scheming eunuch's love for you is genuine

[hottestroadkill]

i think chris flemings is one of the only comedians thats going to get into heaven

[remnantglow]

dude we've GOT to start buying shit from niche specialist sites that look like they were made in 2004 again. i just got some tape for repairing books from this ugly ass website geared at libraries. tell me why they also sent me a free (really nice!) pen, a business card with an overexposed picture of a guinea pig standing on a book with the text "smile :-)", and a LOTTERY TICKET???

[lordoftablecloths]

my favorite video of all time ever

[miiilowo]

Whaght are zey doing tu zis poor rat- [gasp] zat is PERVERGHTED ! ... WHAGHT ARE ZEY FILLING HIM WITZH? EE IZ GETTING TOO BIG! HOOOOHHHH...! OH MY GAHD STOP TOUCHING IM ! ZHIS IZ PERVERT BEHAVIOURE! HOOH! STOP IT! AUUW..... WHAT A TERRIBLE DEATH! SsTOP TOUCHING HEIM !

zis is like a medeval TOGHRTURE.

whathellwas even zat . OOOOO MY GAD. oh it- preetty cuute. OOOHHOOHOOHHOGGOOOHHHH OH MY GADDD THGAT WAS VEURY SCHARMING... OOH my gad he is DEAaaadddd... ohhh not ze daaaawwwg... ooooohhh nnooo you are feeling him wiz ze wader of ze hose...he iz also veury shcarming zey look veury cute like zis...i wont liiieee to yoU !

OH!

EWWELIKE A LAMBB...

S̵̝̞͆͘T̸̜̕O̷͂͛͜P̸̰̲̎ ̶͙͛T̶̖̲́̀Õ̸̥͉̒Ṷ̷́C̵͙͊͒H̴̪̩̊̕I̸̮̓̚N̸͍͙͗G̵͚͝ ̷̳̔̃H̴͍̉͌I̷̝͐M̷̔ͅ.̴̨̈.

FRRREAK.

MONSTAEUR

AAUOOUGGGHHH ZIS POOR ANEMAL. OOOOOOG

[lowkeloki]

[mcr-themed-brain]

Zohran is the new mayor of new york city with the highest voter turnout since 1960, virginia governor-elect is a democrat and the first woman to serve in the position... AND dick cheney died. Change is possible never kill yourself

[gayvampyr]