💚 Blog Info | Rules | Random facts about the gays 🧡
V | Blog Owner (he/they/it)
Heyaa it’s me, welcome to my Scriddler (Riddler/Scarecrow) ask/react/rp sideblog ✨
My version of them is inspired by all sorts of DC media, mainly by the Rogues! Podcast, as well as the Batman Arkham Game series. The time period, if you will, is actually set after the events of Batman Arkham Knight! So there will be spoilers all around, if you know nothing about the games. No matter the universe though, you can ask Ed and Jon literally anything and accuse them of things they did in other pieces of media.
Main blog: riddlers-left-buttcheek
Art Blog: fehhie
Rules
🎃 18+ themes and NSFW is allowed, I will label the posts accordingly.
❔Be respectful (towards me and others, you can go nuts on the characters).
🎃 In your question, make it clear who it's directed at (Riddler/Scarecrow/both/me). If there's no clear indication, I'll just assume the question is for both of them.
❔Obviously follow the general Tumblr rules.
🎃 Be patient with me if it takes a while for your question to be answered, thank you!
The Gays 🌈✨
Edward Nygma - The Riddler
❔Age: 37
❔Birthday: April 1st
❔Sexuality: bi
❔Position: switch
Random facts:
Gets extremely jealous very quickly and has a habit of making people who flirt with Jon "disappear"
His most recent exes are Oswald Cobblepot and Selina Kyle
Puts great effort into helping Jon to quit smoking and drink less coffee, one step at a time
Cares a great deal about Jonathan's health, but secretly wants his body to stay the way it is (and is very guilty of that)
Built an elevator specifically for Jon in their main hideout house, because of his permanently damaged leg
Can't sit still, fidgets all the time, and constantly needs mental stimulation
Still has regular therapy sessions with Jonathan as his psychiatrist
Dreams of a grand wedding and likes the idea of calling Jon his husband, or wife, whatever he's in the mood for
Is actually a huge romantic and thirsty af ever since Jon and him have reunited after the events of Arkham City
Jonathan Crane - The Scarecrow
🎃 Age: 49
🎃 Birthday: September 6th
🎃 Sexuality: straight bi gay
🎃 Position: switch
Random facts:
Avoids sleep where possible, but when he does sleep, nearly nothing can wake him. Also, he talks in his sleep
Is extremely skinny, often being called "skeleton" by Eddie
Is an amazing cook, but barely eats anything himself and only cooks for Ed (who will then force Jon to eat)
Averages around 5 cups of coffee and 6 cigarettes per day (used to be much more)
Actually is capable of feeling empathy, but chooses not to most of the time
Knows Ed's age and birthday, but forgets his own
Has never fully committed to a relationship before Edward
Doesn't care when Ed sleeps with other people, because he knows by the end of the day, he always comes back home. Jon himself doesn’t have the desire to sleep with other people, but he will, if Ed is also participating
Often pretends like he's not listening to Eddie, but can recite the conversation word for word when asked
Is a big fan of horror movies and collects them, preferably on VHS, otherwise DVD, as well as merch
Cowboys herd cows, it's in tha name. Jus' cuz I grew up on a fuckin' farm don't mean I herded any gahddamn cows.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Jonathan-
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Had a lotta birds, though, that's fo sure. Whole murder o' fuckin' crows gahddamn everywhere. Naht that I hate 'em now, but I despised 'em back then, always pickin' on me an' shit, laughin' at me, jus' like everyone else. If anythin', coulda called me crowboy, 'stead of cowboy. Still ain't nowhere close to tha truth, but at least crows were fuckin' there.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Jon.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
What?
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
I love you.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
W... What does that have to do with... I mean I love ya too, Eddie, but I don't understand-
Edward cuts him off with a kiss, after which he proceeds to whisper to him.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
It's okay, baby, don't worry about it. You're perfect just the way you are. Never change.
And before Jonathan can reply, he is met with another kiss. After a moment of resistance, he allows himself to melt into it, surrendering to Edward's sweet advances.
Cooking is just too unpredictable for me. But if we're talking about baking - ohohohoo - oh, I can bake.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Mmm-hm.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
But both of those take so much time out of your day, so we often go out to eat or have somebody else cook for us. But yes, Jonathan, definitely the better cook.
---
Hi, I‘m Vio. Online friends know me as Fehhie. I’m 27 years old and I live in Au… Fehhie Art needs your support for Disabled mentally ill tr
Hello Riddler and Scarecrow, I've noticed you haven't posted in a few months. Has the Bat captured you yet again or are you two just getting old and forgetting that this blog exists?
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Okay, first of all, Jon is the only one of the two of us getting old. Second of all--
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Hey!
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
--we have been quite busy, you know. Yes, there was the one or the other capture, but strategically put in motion by yours truly. As if I'd ever let myself get caught without it being my own intention.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
I'm sure it was.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Oh shut it, you. Anywho, now that I do have the time, I suppose I can catch up on some of these questions. If I feel like it, don't get too excited.
---
Author's note:
Helloooo, many apologies, I've been in a deep depression for months 🥲
It's been a real struggle, but at least I finally managed to overcome my anxiety about even opening tumblr, since I've been gone for so long.
I'm struggling a lot financially atm, so if any of you have a bit of money to spare or know somebody who does, it would be greatly appreciated.
Donate to my gofundme here:
https://gofund.me/c269f84ca
I did miss these and I'll try to post more regularly again, love you guys 💚
Hey Mr. nygma or Dr. Crane! Have you ever thought of trying a trap where batman gets his ass fear gassed and then has to solve some form of complex riddle or he'll die? I recently had a dream about that happening to me for some reason... and felt like something you'd actually try doing to batman! I mean it's gotta be hard solving riddles when you're tweaked outta your gourd
[tw: suggestive]
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Didn't ye and uh... What's his face... That egyptian pharaoh guy team up once?
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
You mean Victor, King Tut? We did, yes. But uhm... That was a rather low point in my life, so it wasn't very fruitful.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Oh, I see. Won't press ya further on that then. But... we can talk 'bout it sometime? If ya want?
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Yes... prehaps we could... But! That wasn't the question. So, first of all, interesting dreams you have there.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
D'ya have dreams like that mo' often? Ya maybe wanna give an adress or somethin' - in private, of course - for professional reasons?
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Hhh, Jonathan, you know how that comes across, right? Also, don't you have enough test subjects already?
Dr. Jonathan Crane
Eheheheh, oh my dear Edward, there isn't a limit to test subje- I mean patients. Look, anon, I understand if you don't wish to share your location, so why don't you come by the new Arkham Sanitarium some time? I may not work there anymore, but I do have my connections.
Edward stares at Jonathan for a bit longer than the other spoke.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
What? Somethin' wrong?
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Hmm? Oh, no. It's still just so fascinating to me how you almost seamlessly lose your accent when you switch to "Doctor Crane"-mode. And regain it when you switch back.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Oh do I? Interestin'. Good we caught that on camera, might wanna analyze that later.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
You truly are your own favorite patient/subject, aren't you?
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Well, Eddie, ya always gotta look inward first, befo' tryin' ta understand tha outside.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
How very Socrates of you. Right, well, we still haven't answered the initial question. So, have we ever thought of combining our skills to kill the Batman. Well, if you were paying attention, we actually did do that, on a much larger scale. Remember the fear-gas-bomb Jon released on the entire city? While I distracted Bats with my riddles and racing games? Thanks to Joker's infection, the fear toxin Bats was exposed to amplified the symptoms and slowly made him lose his mind. I was trying to kill him every step of the way.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Can't say I'm surprised ya remembered all that, but I'm still kinda touched. Should actually try again, nah that he's outta tha game. Robin's easy, Red Hood I got all figured out, an' I'll leave Nightwing an' Batgirl up to ya.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Yes, well... There's just one problem with that. About how we can't really get anything done around each other? Because of certain... distractions?
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Right. Well, anon, as soon as Eddie stops bein' a thirsty bitch, we'll let ya know how tha plans are goin'.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Oooooh, it's just ME who's the problem, now is it?
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Sure is. Hey Eddie, wanna know a lil' secret?
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Hhh, sure, what is it?
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Startin' a figth with ya an' gettin' ya all worked up makes ya wanna get down n' dirty. An' I been takin' advantage o' that fo' a while nah.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
I-- What? ... You've been doing that on purpose, oh, of course you have.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Took ya that long ta figure out, huh? "Smartest guy in tha world"?
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
You little-- Mmmmmh ahahahaaaaah...! You drive me crazy, you know that? Now turn the camera off, will you? We should continue this discussion in private.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
An' there's ya proof. 'Til next time then.
What is something that you have but you can't touch, you can change whenever you want and you use everyday but have never seen me. What am I?
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
This is at the top of my inbox, but you know me - a compulsion is a compulsion. And this one's just too easy. It's the mind. You have it, can't touch it, you can change your mind at any point, hopefully use it every day, but can't see it, well, without superpowers you can't. You wanna know an alternative answer to this, Jon?
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Hm? Ah, no, naht really--
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Your sleep schedule.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
My... Oh, haa-fuckin'-haa, Ed.
Edward grins and scrolls down to the next message.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
You know, technically, it could also be your pulse.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Ugh, please stop askin' him riddles. Ya don't know this, but off-camera, he'll keep comin' up with more answers to tha same question. All. Day. Loung.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Wait, hold on, your name is Jayne Todd? What, are you Jason's daughter? Did I miss something? No, impossible, perhaps an alternative universe version, we've got so many of those, as of late.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Right, because nuthin' can escape yer stalkin' hobby.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Well, of course it doesn't. How else am I supposed to keep myself occupied, these days? Jason is especially fun to spy on, not much going on in that thick head of his, and it shows, ahahaha!
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
... That wus sarcasm.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Oh, I know it was. I am simply choosing to ignore it.
Jonathan just grunts, taking a sip from his coffee.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
I see. My condolences. Ah yes, the good old dip into Ra's'es jaccuzi. Does feel quite refreshing, doesn't it?
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Mmh, but tha real question ta be asked 'ere: What kind o' madness-infused delusion did ya take outta there with ya?
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Uuuh, yes, that would actually interest me as well. See, I gained an intelligence-boost to my already brilliant mind, quite literally rendering me super-intelligent - being so smart, it exceeds the boundaries of a human being. Oh, and Jonathan turned into an absolute megalomaniac with the sudden gust of strategic brilliance. I suppose for the both of us, it simply amplified what was already there.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Beyond rational reasonin'.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Oh, and the answer to your riddle is emotions or feelings. They can't be seen, but you can "feel" touched. They can feel tight in your chest, but can't be held. And they can come across as cold, even if coming from a warm place, as they are commonly associated with the heart. And no, it's not the heart itself, since that indeed can be seen and held when you cut somebody open.
You know, I would appreaciate something more uhm creative. And that's targeted at anyone thinking of asking me a riddle. All those mind-, heart-, love-riddles-- Look, they're cute and all, some pretty classic, don't get me wrong. But I've been asked those a thousand times. Yes, yes, I know, it's quite difficult getting anywhere near my level, but you can at least try.
Jonathan Crane starts to chuckle in the background.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
What's so funny?
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Hehehe- Hya- Ya wanna hear an alternative answer ta that? Heh it's- it's yer asshole. Ya can touch it, but naht see it yerself, can be tight, but naht be held, n' feel cold if ya blow on it, even if it's always warm inside-- Eeeehehehe!
Jonathan continues to chuckle, which evolves into laughter when he sees the look Edward gives him.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Can't keep your mind out of the gutter, can you?
Jonathan tries to catch his breath to answer, but breaks out into laughter again, dropping sideways onto the couch.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Well, until Jon returns to being responsive, riddle me this then: In what way did your mind shift, when you emerged from the Lazarus pit?
What is something that you have but you can't touch, you can change whenever you want and you use everyday but have never seen me. What am I?
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
This is at the top of my inbox, but you know me - a compulsion is a compulsion. And this one's just too easy. It's the mind. You have it, can't touch it, you can change your mind at any point, hopefully use it every day, but can't see it, well, without superpowers you can't. You wanna know an alternative answer to this, Jon?
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Hm? Ah, no, naht really--
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Your sleep schedule.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
My... Oh, haa-fuckin'-haa, Ed.
Edward grins and scrolls down to the next message.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
You know, technically, it could also be your pulse.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Ugh, please stop askin' him riddles. Ya don't know this, but off-camera, he'll keep comin' up with more answers to tha same question. All. Day. Loung.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Wait, hold on, your name is Jayne Todd? What, are you Jason's daughter? Did I miss something? No, impossible, perhaps an alternative universe version, we've got so many of those, as of late.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Right, because nuthin' can escape yer stalkin' hobby.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Well, of course it doesn't. How else am I supposed to keep myself occupied, these days? Jason is especially fun to spy on, not much going on in that thick head of his, and it shows, ahahaha!
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
... That wus sarcasm.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Oh, I know it was. I am simply choosing to ignore it.
Jonathan just grunts, taking a sip from his coffee.
Apapapapap! You don't get a say in this, because not only did you attract my greatest rival in the game of being Batman's one and only arch nemesis, but you also happen to have a child that I didn't know of!
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Well, ta be fair, I didn't know I had one either.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Oh wonderful, that makes this even worse!
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Nah hold on jus' a minute there, how's tha Joker wantin' me ma fault?!
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Well--! Hmm, I suppose you make a point there. But! The child IS your fault! And apparently you don't even know who you slept with to make it!
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Oh for the love of-- Maybe they're adopted or- or- maybe they're self-proclaimed!
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Ahahahaha! Oh pleeeeaase, Jon, who'd actually want to have you as their father?
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Ahah-- I mean, last night y--
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
JonaTHAN! There's a child present! But more importantly-- JONATHAN, NOT IN FRONT OF THE JOKER, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!
Haaah, yes, fine, I'll answer this one truthfully. Unfortunately I am the ticklish one out of the two of us. Much to my disadvantage, I am ticklish all over the body, which Jon very much exploits, the fucker. But, ahah, it was quite the major issue for the both of us at the beginning of our relationship, since, whenever he tried to touch me, I'd flinch back, sometimes punch or kick him out of reflex. However, slowly, but surely, he figured out a way to give me a gentle caress without tickling me, or triggering a fight or flight response. Mmh, things like blowing softly against my skin, before nudging his face against my neck. Or, uhm, hovering his hand ever so slightly above wherever he wants to touch me, so that I'd feel its presence-- Or he'd confidently fully place his hand down - towards which I have a much less traumatic response - so that I can get used to it being there, before he moves it. He... heh... He puts way more effort into this relationship than Os or Selina ever could have. Which is ironic, given how little care he seems to have for people in general, and how much he enjoys the suffering of others. Not that it says much, since we got that in common. But I mean... Selina really tried, where Os would just give up and stomp away in frustration, but... Eventually it was even too tedious for her and... Oh, ahem, right, getting off-topic again. Uhm, Jon isn't ticklish at all, or at least he doesn't react to it. That's why, when he tickles me, I resort to violence instead. Simple as that. Ugh, unfortunately he likes that too, so I really can't ever win that fight. Luckily, I know of other ways to make him suffer, ahaha!
Ah! Oh, I see, you're quoting that movie, uhm... That one Batman movie, uh, Batman Forever, featuring Jim Carrey, who was portraying me. What did he say again? Ah yes, "Riddle me this, riddle me that, who's afraid of the big black bat?" Ahahaha! Aaah, truly a classic. Gotta say, though, a little bit over the top, that depiction of me. But that's just the true Jim Carrey fashion, and I enjoyed it nonetheless. But also... Ahah, it-- it still confuses me how close that Riddler and Two-Face were. Mild spoilers for those who haven't seen it, I suppose, and also, you should really go watch it, it's quite amusing, got quite the laugh out of me, that one. But yes, Harvey and I, in that movie? Veeery fruity. Also, Harv is MUCH more fun in it; if he was actually like that, we might get along much better. Oh, and can we talk about how much Jim Carrey's Riddler just purely and utterly swoons over Bruce? "Simps" for him, as the youth calls it? Truth be told, yes, I do, or did, flirt with our dear Brucey, quite a lot, actually. But more in a "kidnapping his girlfriend and having him solve my riddles to rescue her while I taunt and make fun of him"-kind of way. Not literally melting like butter in the sun right in front of him. Also, I just have to say it: The version of Bruce in that movie? Not that hot. As soon as he takes the mask off, you've lost me. But that's just personal preference, I suppose, since I like my Dark Knight much less - hmm, how should I say - charming. The Bruce in that movie just seemed too much of a nice guy, which, yes, I suppose holds true to his public image. But, I don't know, there was something about his facial features that put me off. Oh, but this is getting too long again, isn't it? I'd rather stop now before I critique this movie all night.
Right, let's get through a couple short ones. Jon is out at the moment and I'm a bit bored. Also, the amount of unanswered messages in my inbox is utterly unacceptable, and honestly quite triggering. Oh, uhm, I do believe we already answered that one. Well, no matter, I am 37 years of age, and Jon is 49. Aaalrighty, onto the next one!
*snaps my fingers and Ed is in a maid dress with cat ears and paw gloves >:3*
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Ah-hmm-hmm, nice try, but that’s not going to happen.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Not gonna, cuz it already did.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
What? Oh no, don’t you dare—
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Too late.
You see this image pop up on your screen:
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Motherf— I‘M GOING TO KILL YOU!
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
That’s ma cue!
You see Edward chase Jonathan around the room, relentlessly throwing any object in reach at him.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
THAT WAS MEANT FOR YOUR EYES AND YOUR EYES ONLY, YOU PRICK!
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Thought ya loved the attention!
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
NOT THIS KIND OF ATTENTION, ASSHOLE! AND DEFINITELY NOT FOR FREE!
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
That’s why I watermarked it!
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
What?? That’s not— HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET UP THERE?! GET DOWN SO I CAN MURDER YOU!
You see Jonathan dangling his legs atop a high bookshelf, occasionally evading Edward‘s bad aim.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Alright folks, uhh thanks for the message an’ be sure ta tune in again next time when we answer sum questions for ya.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
THERE WON‘T BE A NEXT TIME, BECAUSE YOU‘LL BE D-E-A-D!
With each letter spelled, Ed hurls a book up at Jon.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Ey, ya almost hit me with that one, ye‘r gettin‘ better there.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
DON‘T YOU TAUNT ME YOU—
A string of seemingly endless insults follows, as the camera you watch them through zooms out, moving backwards, through the window and up into the sky. And as you see their apartment and the streets of Gotham grow smaller and smaller, Edward‘s cursing and the occasional sound of breaking glass becomes quieter and quieter, until eventually, the screen fades to black.
Jonathan don't listen to them your accent is great! I love it! DON'T CHANGE IT!
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Eheheh, don' worry yerself there, ain't gonna happen. 'S real nice talkin' like I usually do.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
That is when you're not trying to drown the entirety of Gotham in fear. Come to think of it... Wait a minute...
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Hm?
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Ahahaha! Oh, I've just pieced it together!
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
What?
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
You take on a different persona with every Scarecrow costume you make. I'm correct, aren't I? You change your mannerisms, your voice, your movements. The only thing that remains consistent is your obsession with fear.
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
I... Huh. Yeah, I s'ppose... S'ppose I do that.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Wait, that wasn't intentional?!
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Naah, I guess 'just happens.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Hm. I mean, we've already established before that you seem like a completely different person when you put on a mask. Not in a Two-Face way, not really. It's still you, you just... choose to be different. Perhaps to separate yourself from the Scarecrow?
Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow
Ey, I'm yer therapist, naht the other way 'round.
Edward Nygma | The Riddler
Hm? Oh, right, right. I've let my mind wander there.
