Chronic Overreactor @roach-witch - Tumblr Blog

homunculus-argument

Actually the monkeys have unionised. That's their circus now.

licensedproldier

muppetshow2026

i was looking up gerard way sex hospital on maps for a bit but theres a sex shop near gerard way in massachusetts

massachusetts-official

Official Post of Massachusetts

misspiggyilya

ilya starts this bit with shane where he claims he can psychically sense when shane gets horny whenever they’re apart and so he’ll text him out of the blue like “senses tingling. you are horny.” and the gag is that he’s not Wrong but its definitely a chicken or the egg situation as shane claims he only gets horny after ilya suggests it (also he’s kind of like. never not horny) and it kind of pavlovs shane to get hard every time his phone dings so he starts aggressively using do not disturb when he has sponsor deals and meetings and such only then the awareness of the texts he Could be missing from ilya is heightened and so its all he’s thinking about when he’s trying not to think about it and trying not to get hard in public unfortunately only turns him on more and ilya catches on whenever he goes to text shane and sees he’s in dnd mode he’s like oh he must be trying not to get hard right now so then shane will check his phone later and ilya will have texted him like “you were hard at 12:53 PM” and shane is like how the Fuck did you know that ilya is just like shane i told you i’m literally psychic 🙄

lesbianrozanov

toddler shane refusing to talk after his hockey team lose a game. yuna & david are trying to be encouraging like “bud!! you played so good!!” and shane is ignoring them while climbing into his car seat where he’s going to angrily drink his juice box and then chew on the straw.

livythewidow

When Shane gets home he sits by the door like Mr. Rogers and changes his white tube socks to his home white tube socks.

The first time Ilya sees this it makes so little sense and so much sense to him, he sways on his feet and almost blacks out from Love.

deliciousblizzardshark

Shane writes hockey romance* novels in his spare time and publishes them under a pseudonym (John Dutch) and no one knows except his agent.

A wag somewhere picks one up and discovers the hockey is really accurate and well written from a technical perspective (plus it’s super hot) and convinces her boyfriend or husband or whatever to read it and then somehow it becomes popular among hockey players as a thing that’s kind of a gag but people are also seriously reading it.

Ilya is extremely confused that CLIFF is trying to convince him to read a book but figures he’ll give it a try. Fifty pages in, reading the book on the plane, he suddenly realizes he recognizes the sex scene.

He never says anything to Shane, but starts casually leaving Shane’s books lying around for Shane to notice during their hook-ups.

*i was going to go with ‘gay hockey romance novels’ but then realized cishet hockey romance novels would be objectively funnier

argillaforma

ilya's worth the wait? gets me every time because sure it's said in jokey manner but also it's did you like it? did i do a good job? do you want to do it more? i really liked it and i hope you liked it too, i wanted to make it so so good for you, did i do it right?

blandlava

zoe boyd suffering through a season ending injury, cheating ex, and a burnt coochie. truly gods strongest soldier.

shinywhatsoever

credit: 보리꼬리 broccoli1221 (x)

justsomeguycore

lesbian scifi is so easy. here’s a woman in cargo pants and a tank top on a spaceship. are you with me

justsomeguycore

maybe it’s not even cargo pants. maybe it’s coveralls rolled to + tied around the waist. maybe she even has fuckoff boots

cheeseanonioncrisps

Metahuman with super healing powers whose entire job is that once a week they go to a nearby hospital and are put into a medically induced coma for 24 hours while all their organs and blood are harvested, and kept there until they've healed up again.

They get paid a small stipend by the Heroes Council for this, and they live off that.

No crime fighting, no obvious heroics, and they only took a Super Identity because it's technically hero's council policy. Nobody's ever seen them in a cape.

Every so often the Heroes council will release an official report to the public, and there'll be another bunch of news articles wondering how some unknown super calling themselves 'Meat Factory' somehow consistently holds the record for most lives saved across the city.

cheeseanonioncrisps

It is essential to my vision that they are not at all sanctimonious about this.

Like, they regularly act like they're getting away with something. They joke about how they get to earn money in their sleep. They show up to their hospital visits in deliberately ridiculous disguises, on the excuse that they need to 'protect their identity'.

Part of their employment contract is that they get served the same post-operation vanilla ice cream that they normally hand out on the childrens' ward. Also a sticker. Their overnight bag is covered in stickers.

shinyhappygoth

Okay, Meat Factory is awesome and hilarious, but if they're being harvested for and regenerating absolutely everything, may I suggest an alternative super name: Theseus.

bugslibraryy

Ilya prescribing Shane kisses- he sees him stressed or grumpy or sad or over thinking or simple it’s been two hours since they’ve kissed and the Ilya is walking over grabbing Shane’s face in his hands and being like in a low quiet serious voice ok this is very bad you need at least- hmmm (he squints at him) like twenty kisses right now and kisses all over his face like mwah mwah mwah mwah until Shane gives in and smiles or kisses him proper

bugslibraryy