I'll be your friend. You just haven't made me yet.

Niamh/ 34/ Ireland

[hopeless-eccentric]

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

[grandtheftaristotle]

Glad to know we’re all on the same page

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Your partner came back from the dead after being missing for decades. Every one of their friends who they went with ended up dying a horrible death.

Now, somehow, their entire mental health is based on the continued life and happiness of this fairground goldfish that they picked up.

Neither of you know the first thing about how to care for even a healthy fish. This fish has been poorly cared for, has multiple diseases and the person who handed it over explicitly didn't expect it to live nearly as long as it already has.

You're frantically googling how to set up a fish tank, where to buy fish food, can you even take a fish to the vet? Your partner wants you to know that they're happy they made it home and survived their horrific ordeal, but also that if anything happens to the fish then they're going to kill everyone on this planet and then themself.

You're honestly wondering if you're even helping the fish, or just prolonging its suffering, but your partner will only accept medical help for their many injuries or engage in basic self-care once they're confident that the fish is being looked after.

So you get a tank. You set up a filter and all that stuff. You learn way more than you ever wanted to know about water temperature and ph and nitrate levels. The fish is safe. You start to develop some affection for the little guy. Your partner begins to recover. The fish begins to recover.

Which is when you learn that in its 'healthy' state, the fish regularly refuses to sleep when tired, keeps begging for food that is obviously unhealthy for it (and struggling to eat the food that you do provide because “it tastes gross”), and continually tries to persuade your partner to take it out of its nice safe tank so it can go explore the wonderful world of Outside, where the slightest mishap will kill it instantly.

Your name is Adrian, and you kind of wants to strangle this fucking fish, statement.

[eggsaladstain]

GO OFF BESTIE

Source

[hiveswap]

btw having curly hair but not being taught how to care about it as a child means that even if you are white, the majority of hair advice being given by other white people is useless and actively harmful to you, so you literally owe everything you know to black and brown women online

[milktea-grn]

party

[stedesparasol]

if we can get we're wolves we can get ofmd s3 😌

[apolladay]

Did you work during any of the Covid lockdowns?

yes outside the home

yes but from home

yes to both of the above

no but I wasn't/couldn't/didn't work anyway

no Covid stopped my job at some point

nuance/other/results

Voting ended onJun 24

[netscapenavigator-official]

You should be starting a recipe book. I don't give a shit if you're only 20-years-old. The modern web is rotting away bit by bit before our very eyes. You have no idea when that indie mom blog is going down or when Pinterest will remove that recipe. Copy it down in a notebook, physically or digitally. Save it somewhere only you can remove it. Trust me, looking for a recipe only to find out it's been wiped off the internet is so fucking sad. I've learned my lesson one too many times.

[lesvieuxjoursart]

"Gone a bit Basquiat" - Portrait of Noel Fielding done in caran'dache pastel on black paper

One of the latest from PaperNoel Adventures

#caran'dache #pastel #drawing #originalart #basquiat #luxurycomedy #surreal #portrait

[tundrafloe]

Gorgeous!

[ryebreadgf]

I wish I could be as happy as people with no taste

[inthetags]

reblog and put in the tags the real reason you joined tumblr no matter how horrible or embarrassing it is

[theonion]

[rodery]

Three weeks before the 10th anniversary of The Last Day. And I'm finally free of the sticky, heavy feeling that I haven't been able to rid myself of for almost a decade.

I expected to be hit with the nostalgia from being in one of our frequent haunts, seeing you perform, feeling the memories from all those years ago.

But instead, I just appreciated the feeling of seeing live music in an intimate venue again. Saw my favourite song of yours and then dipped out to catch my bus. No longer felt the need to hang around, desperately waiting for a crumb of attention from either of you.

The awkward side hug (from the one who used to constantly seek me out for comfort, spend hours holding my hand, couldn't leave without kissing me). The halfway promise of a catch up after the show (from the one who used to look for me before every gig to reduce his stage fright, and spend hours in person and on the phone venting his anxieties).

I'm genuinely so glad to see how well you're both doing. And even happier that rather than feeling rejected that you don't need me anymore, I just feel. Free.

[gacktova]

[mermaidinn]

a creature from the deep, do I haunt you in your sleep

[mbrainspaz]

idk what neurodivergent young adult needs to hear this but you are NOT supposed to give 100% at your job. I've gotten more promotions and raises since I started giving 40-60%, which my evil CEO uncle informed me is what bosses actually expect when they say 110%. My mental health has improved tremendously. I've spent 2 out of 5 workdays secretly writing my novel for the last 2 years and I've never been more respected and appreciated. Also--when you see glaring wasteful errors in the company's operating systems, say absolutely nothing! Embrace inefficiency. It is your friend in this capitalist hellscape.

[darkwingduck]

If Neil Gaiman shows his face on tumblr again we all have an obligation to bully him out of here with rocks

And I’m sorry if this is how you had to find out he’s on an “apology” tour (denying everything) and promoting a new book that we are all going to very loudly ignore

make amends to your victims and fix your heart