here be chaos

any pronouns / disabled / queer . not willing to state much else. I am a minor lmao. don't care abt your age at all, just be a decent being :]

[roleplayerwithoutaplan]

call me ezekiel, maple, or julien. minor. any pronouns, any terms. minor, taken, disabled.

what do I do? primarily reblog fandom content, but I occasionally may post character / meta analysis of my various interests.

my primary fandoms are star trek ( currently watching tng & ds9 ) and nbc hannibal.

i love music. I may not talk about it much, but I love it. my current favorite bands are the warning, pearl jam, sleep token, and against me!

no tagging system outside of my tag for my special interests. "autism tag" I started tagging shit that in like 2021 and I've just rolled with it since

[beemovieerotica]

dear people with OCD: the next time you have spiraling & intrusive thoughts, what-ifs, or catastrophizing scenarios, I am sending a cardigan-wearing 46-year old NYU professor directly into your brain and he says "Aaaaand scene!!!" and he claps his hands slowly. and he says "Wow. Wow. Powerful stuff. Evocative imagery. A little bit post-modern, a little bit hysterical realism in the vein of Don Delilo but let's pause right here." and you will recognize your thoughts as a perplexing avant-garde film shown to an audience of 15 liberal arts students who are now trying to get a good grade and sleep with their professor.

[samgirly]

Who else never really learned emotional regulation as a child and now has to learn it as an adult? 🐸 Even just naming the feeling out loud can help me to feel better.

[c-ptsdrecovery]

Other tips:

Accept that you are feeling the emotion instead of trying to ignore it or push it away

Remember that it won’t hurt you and doesn’t mean anything bad about you (for instance, feeling frustrated doesn’t mean you’re childish or something)

If the feeling persists after self-soothing, ask yourself what that might mean. Sometimes you just feel the emotion because you do, but sometimes there’s something else you can do to help yourself. Are you still feeling angry because you’re hungry or tired, and you need to eat or sleep? Is it an interpersonal problem that needs a solution, like do you need to draw stronger boundaries with somebody? Does everything seem hopeless and overwhelming because it’s after 9 pm and your brain is lying to you? (My brain always lies to me after 9 pm. It means I can put this train of thought aside for now and it’ll probably seem much less awful in the morning.) 

[wizardarchetypes]

u think ocd therapy is impossible to do yourself and that it's all too big to start but you can get workbooks or even just try small things.

a lot of my ritual behaviors are "checking"

self-guided ocd exposure therapy can be as simple as resisting the urge to check if your door is locked more than once and sitting with the discomfort until it passes without engaging in any reassurance rituals.

it can look like sending an email and resisting the urge to re-read it over and over again obsessing over your wording, sitting with the discomfort until it passes without engaging in any reassurance rituals.

some of my rituals are also "avoidance"

in which case it can look like checking your email inbox you've been obsessively avoiding because you're anxious about receiving a specific email you don't want to see.

and YEP! ☝️

sitting with the discomfort until it passes without engaging in any reassurance rituals.

[estro-boi]

we gotta get back to torrent distribution, i just watched someone eat eight grand in bandwidth charges because they ran a direct-download piracy site with local file hosting through cloudflare. torrents were invented literally for this exact reason

[estro-boi]

torrents work like this

i have a file or folder on my pc that i want to share with other people. let's call it gayshit.mp3

unfortunately gayshit.mp3 is 750mb and im not paying for discord nitro so i need another way to send it

i put it into qbittorrent and it makes a torrent file. this is essentially a very small file that points to gayshit.mp3 so other computers can find it. kinda like a treasure map

i send this tiny file to my friend, who loads it into qbittorrent. their computer takes a moment to find mine over the vast expanse of cyberspace and then (as long as my pc is running and the file is still where it should be), it gets copied from my hard drive to theirs

this is the cool part: if somebody else loads that tiny file, they can download it from both of us. if i'm offline but my friend is on, the third person can still get it. this also means that if two people have separate halves of the file, they can download the other half from each other. as long as some combination of people have the pieces between them, they can all have the whole thing.

crucially this does not require a server!!! you can just upload the file to a few people and as long as they keep it, it's still accessible. as long as somebody, somewhere is still connected, it's available forever. the only way it goes away is if everybody disconnects from it.

please learn to torrent

[macleod]

How to Use Torrents (with Pictures) - wikiHow

An expert guide to get started using torrentsTorrents are one of the most popular forms of file sharing on the internet, accounting for over

always use qbittorrent, do not use bittorrent or utorrent.

[roleplayerwithoutaplan]

simultaneously im excited to have summer wnd have 5h3 energy to do like. anytging

but also fuck me I hate summer so much

like. I want to play Minecraft. i can almost never do games on a school day etc because I legitimately am just. barely holding it together

but in the summer everything sucks so idk

[voidsetup1]

and out of the darkness - you you you you you

[lemondoddle]

[Description: a looping bouncy animation of grace and Rocky from project hail mary. Grace throws himself onto rocky for a hug, smiling and nuzzling his face to the top of Rocky's xenonite covered carapace. Rocky brings a claw up to ruffle Grace's hair and grace throws himself even more on top of rocky, rocky wrapping his arms around grace. End description.]

[ratbreadd]

think about it long time

[domukebat]

dsmp!Ranboo fanart in 2025??!!!? WHAE WHAE EEHHEHH

[qwertgfx]

[sailermoon]

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

[sailermoon]

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

Apparently my stepdad and I are fucking psychically linked because ?? every single time he makes chili for dinner I get a migraine. Without fail. And it became like a ha ha running joke because it happened so many times but now I’m living 3 hours away from my parents and I just texted my mom and

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

Happy disability pride month

[nose-bl]

via @ninjahijabimuse​

this is so much better i love it

[wizardarchetypes]

i'm in a group for people who own those 12 foot tall home depot halloween skeletons (i do not own a 12 foot tall home depot skeleton; do not tell on me). the skeleton owners post daily about how they're decorating their skeletons seasonally to circumvent local ordinances about "seasonally appropriate" outdoor décor. they post anonymous fan & hate mail neighbors leave in their mailboxes which appear to be 100% genuine and a number of people are regularly posting updates as they pursue litigation against HOAs and entire cities to defend their rights to keep their 12 foot skeletons standing outside year-round. with lawyers and everything. it's a look into the lives of people who have money to spend on things i can never imagine, but i am compelled by their conviction.

[wizardarchetypes]

you'd like to imagine the outcome of the bitter legal warfare might have knock-on effects that allow people more freedom in self-expression on their own lawns in general, but mainly it seems to be exclusively about the 12 foot tall home depot skeletons. and what a world.

[illufinch]

march, my bird army

[sherlock-on-a-case]

Grace and Rocky trying to spice up the taumoeba on the long trip to erid with a well stocked lab

[0x1-deactivated20220826]

if you found out that your dad has 120k followers on tiktok what would it be for? what would your dad's tiktok niche be

[waitingforthesunrise]

emotional processing is so funny because sometimes you’ll be violently sobbing on your bedroom floor over something that happened 4 years ago and then you’ll just. get up and make coffee. and go to the grocery store. and take all this fundamental sadness for a walk. and ponder the cosmic experiences of humanity while eating a sandwich. and that’s healing.