working with kids and one of them says “you know you eat 8 spiders a night on average right?” and another goes “no no no those statistics are actually skewed by people who like eat spiders recreationally for fun and stuff” and my head snapped up like a fucking sleeper agent
Personal assistant au. Shane hires Ilya as a personal assistant and somehow to Shanes confusion and also kinda Shane's delight, Ilya just kinda takes over Shane life.
Shane is never sure exactly how Ilya does it but within 3 months he is the one fully in charge of Shane's half of Shane's professional google calendar and all of Shane's personal calendar, he's charmed Yuna and has somehow turned into her Shane wrangling apprentice, and Shane finds himself having the most relaxing season because Ilya knows what Shane likes and chooses for him.
6 months in and somehow Ilya is living with Shane, sleeping in Shane's bed, and has already started soft-launching a permanent residency marriage.
Ilya being the gatekeeper of Shane's time, and sure he likes Shane happy and so he does deliberately keeps track and helps Shane find time for his friends and family but also he says no if he thinks Shane needs the rest or the quiet or if he just needs to focus on hockey right now.
At some point after they are married Yuna and Ilya disagree over something for Shane professionally. Ilya flexes his control and shows Yuna that Shane is always gonna choose him. Yuna still likes him but she thinks they should have been a little more wary of him. Its too late now and he seems to treat Shane very well but well, the thought is always there.
Oooohhhh this is juicy I like this. Shane would adore having the excuse for handing over all control to Ilya and doing everything he says. I think it would take a hilariously long time for Shane to ping like “hey that’s a little weird, I don’t think PAs usually tell their bosses they aren’t allowed to go socialize with friends” or whatever. But it would be so easy to excuse. I feel like Ilya could fully get to a point of telling him when he is and isn’t to jerk off and Shane would still fully not have grasped that they were doing a kink thing. Meanwhile Ilya is just like a cat pushing a glass towards the edge of a table slowly, just wanting to see how far he can push this. And then when they finally get to a place where Shane has to admit that it’s more than professional and platonic he’d be so worried that Ilya would stop wanting to “be his PA” and be relieved as fuck when Ilya selflessly agreed to continue despite them dating.
I also imagine there would be some fantastic moments of Shane mentioning shit about his PA offhandedly that has everyone going 👀👀👀
to this day, one of the sexiest things that i think happened in hr was when ilya got shane to beg, and then beg again ("you will have to do a better job than that") and when shane did, let him believe for a few seconds he'd get it. and then ilya said no anyway.
ilya pressing shane down onto the bed, rolling him onto his stomach and pulling down his underwear, whispering in his ear “i’m going to take advantage of you now. you can kick and scream and fight all u want but i don’t care. i’m going to take what i need from your body.” and shane shaking and trembling, shaking his head until ilya grabs his chin and forces him to nod. yeah…..
obsessed with this poor guy who gets dragged away from his takeout menu so his evil bisexual roommate can go have the worst club experience of his life
smth smth the way loons return in pairs to the same breeding lake year after year to defend it because once they've found home they keep finding their way back to it. hollanov crossing continents only to end up at the cottage every summer, every season, no matter what the year has brought them. building the wall a little taller each time until the whole world is outside and it's just theirs. shane standing in front of the commissioner saying "i choose him come on ilya." yuna: you would leave boston for shane? ilya: yes. no questions asked. can someone sedate me
love that shane is so focused on getting in ilya’s pants he actively impedes him from taking his shirt off. and then immediately after getting it off, he goes back to trying for his pants.
consensual somnophilia | kink exploration | sex tapes | dom/sub
Ilya slides in, moving cautiously and meeting very little resistance without the hyper-aware, eager body he usually has underneath him, pushing back and pressing down and pulling him in. He’s biting his lip to hold back a groan at how fucking perfect this is - the feeling of Shane’s tight heat enveloping him, the slackness of his sleeping form, the slight hitch in his breath.
He is entirely at Ilya’s mercy, soft and sweet and innocent. Ilya wants to cherish every inch of him. Ilya wants to thoroughly ruin him.
or, Ilya and Shane explore somnophilia for the first time.
Sorry if y'all saw this twice; I posted it to the wrong blog. 😭
It feels like ages since I've posted a fic! I'm tagging some mutuals/friends who might be interested, and some who have tagged me recently. Please tag me in your fic posts, too - I love to see what y'all are working on!
Shane shortly before waking Ilya up at the cottage: ‘Hmmmmm, I can’t trap him with a baby. wait let me google……okay i definitely can’t get pregnant. Hold on…..sea-horse dads?…..nevermind…..can i adopt a baby-trap?…………no I’d just have a kid……………………okay wait what if we like coached some kids? Like they wouldn’t be ours but like- we wouldn’t be able to break-up because of the kids. Am i fucking on drugs? What the fuck am i thinking……..wait………..like a team of kids but it’s like charity…………cause men leave their children all the time but it would be a really bad look leave a charity……………….i can make a charity and it’ll have kids and we’ll help the kids……..and Ilya likes kids…………and he likes me………..and he’ll wanna stay with me forever….so he’ll be baby trapped AND we’ll be doing a good thing.* “Ilya wake up i have an idea.”
shane getting held down in their bed and fucked so rough and crying and writhing and pleading and ilya grabs his face to make him look up and meet his eyes. and shane says please please ilya why are you doing this to me i thought you loved me. and ilya cums on the spot
@scunthotter EXACTLY... shane loves being like im really not in the mood tonight babe :/ and then getting flipped over and his pajama pants tugged down and his ass smacked while ilya gets his dick out and being like baby no stop it please what are you doing!!!
at one point harris does an insta post for the local animal shelter like "all of them think theyre lap dogs" and its several slides of like a great dane and several pitbulls and a giant mastiff sitting on ppl and the last pic is of ilya sitting on shanes lap during one of boods bbqs
Fondly thinking about how lame and eccentric Ilya was being in Tampa like UGH Hollander whatever u don't even care about you being gay or us being in love 😒 look how little I care I am making so many movements with my arms 🙄 and then he gets a smooch and is like okey I lied I do have feelings please don't look. Guy of all time.
my favorite is when he shyly starts caressing thumbs with shane on a beach at sunset and then next scene shane comes to his room and ilya is immediately like i have never felt a feeling once in my life. we get together we fuck it’s simple. okay yes i also try desperately to hold your hand on a beach at sunset. that’s unrelated. like the fact that this happens within 60 seconds onscreen is so funny to me
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