everyone knows that shallergies has me by the hair and won't let go, but i am also Compelled by the thought of ilya with food allergies
the way it plays into his father treating him like a disappointment because i ABSOLUTELY buy that his father would hold it against him and count it as a mark against him, especially where disability intersects with masculinity as a detraction. i also see it being held against irina, and the complex guilt of his mother being held responsible for his weakness.
this is even worse if alexei DOESN'T have any food allergies, because his brother both joins in and is an example that his father can use that it's a defect of ilya.
related: ilya being drilled from the time he's a kid to tell NO ONE about it because he's been brought up under the idea that he should be ashamed of it as a failure because rozanov men aren't susceptible to fucking tree nuts of all fucking things. ilya at family dinners/public events who becomes an expert at moving things around on his plate because he's not allowed to admit to any allergies, so nothing there is safe for him even among family. ilya who technically has a seat at the table but nothing on his plate that won't hurt him.
ilya in a new country having to translate every fucking label when it uses words he had no reason to learn in his english classes and different countries use different words for different things, so some things don't even have a translation that he can find.
ilya who is on med leave for a game because of accidental exposure and who hears people being happy about it because his reputation makes people rejoice at him potentially being sick or injured and not on the ice with them. ilya in a hospital, still feeling like shit because anaphylaxis is a bitch, seeing tweets of people not knowing what exactly happened but still being happy about it.
ilya leaning into partying/drinking/clubs because alcohol (at least as shots or single mixers) is a reliably safe option for socializing. he can't do dinners or meals with other people without admitting to what he's been trained to think of as a failure, but he can go to a club and down some vodka and be the life of the party because his weakness can't follow him here.
the reassurance of shane being so driven by routine and predictability. he's not bringing home surprises or new brands, and even if he did, he already checked the label after he's aware of ilya's allergies. he can go to shane's home at any time and know that the same things are in there and that those things are safe for him.
the summer at the cottage being the first time ilya has got to spend a summer being relaxed. he doesn't have to fake eat at family events. he doesn't have to hear his father's scorn when he checks labels as subtly as he can but still gets seen doing it. he gets there and finds out that shane already went grocery shopping and that everything in the cottage is available to him because it's all safe.
the pasta with shane's parents looking so simple and basic because david said he'd make lunch, and shane spoke up before ilya could tell him not to to say he needed to check the labels first to make sure they were good with the new diet he's trying. shane who covers for him, not because he views it as a failure but because he knows that ilya does. shane who got to tell the truth to his parents for the first time but still lies for ilya's sake. and even after he fesses up because he doesn't want shane keeping secrets from his parents just for him, david and yuna don't scorn him for it. it's a group hunt through labels and google, and in the end, it's pasta with some sauce made out of a tin of tomatoes they luckily had on hand and parmesan grated off of a fresh block that came still in the wrapper.
and for the first time, ilya is at a table with a family where he can eat his fill and know that he's safe while doing it.
snowghoul
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prguitarman
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