titsay
Cosmic Funnies
occasionally subtle
🪼
taylor price
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
PR's Tumblrdome
blake kathryn
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
No title available
tannertan36
art blog(derogatory)
Andulka
Xuebing Du
Product Placement
Mike Driver
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Today's Document
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@rosescrownsandvictory
The great thing about being so very far behind on my writing is that I'm getting a LOT of housework done.
I have it's twin, I need to clean the bathroom for a soon to announced rental inspection and I just finished my crochet conch animal that slides into an actual conch shell.
They have a fun body map to try to replicate.
Choose your fighter
Choose your fighter!
golden retriever
silver retriever
bronze retriever
platinum retriever
aluminium retriever
plutonium retriever
copper retriever
lead retriever
diamond retriever
Reblogging for a larger sample size 🐕🐕🐕
Congrats Pluto, you did it 🏆
I feel like i have a really high understanding of myself and dealing with emotions and instincts (not a flex, I wouldhave explode and died otherwise) but the consequence is, sometimes talking to me IRL is legitimately like talking to yoda or something. I'm always on that "you must unlearn what you have learned" type shit
But like. You really must unlearn what you have learned.
guess who
come on. don’t just stand there. didn’t you miss me?
he’s letting me go
where are you going?
my love, did he tell you? we can be happy again. i’m coming home with you
my love
why won’t you look at me?
can you hear me? i’m right here
just turn around
please
he said i could go back. he said i could go with you
you can’t hear me, can you?
you don’t even know i’m here. i’m right behind you
wait!!! please wait
i need to think about this
stop!
won’t you stop walking please
this is some cruel trick, isn’t it?
just some. some specter dreamt up to torture me
my husband would never leave me behind so easily
you’re not him. i know you’re not
maybe it’s not a trick. maybe you really have forgotten me
please. please my love can you hear me
orpheus
look at me i beg you. what’s going on what’s happening
why won’t you turn around
please it’s been ages i thought i’d never see you again won’t you hold me for a moment
stop
orpheus
i can’t do this i can’t go with you
not if it’s going to be like this
i can’t haunt you. i need you to know i’m here i need you to love me back
don’t go please don’t
i can’t follow you out
i’m scared
wait!! please wait for me
orphe—
so somethings always bugged me and this post really brought it to bear. am i missing something critical about the orpheus thing? like he couldnt look but why didnt he just shout over his shoulder. was eurydice mute or he was deafened to her? I cant recall either of those things ever being mentioned. What was preventing them from just talking while they left?
here’s the thing about orpheus: he’s not being tested against temptation. he’s being tested in his faith. because it’s not that orpheus wasn’t allowed to see eurydice—it’s that he wasn’t allowed to know if she was even there.
here’s another thing about orpheus: he actually did it. he made it out of the underworld without turning around. but he was so excited at the possibility of getting eurydice back that he forgot she still had to follow him out. she had not yet crossed the threshold. one more second and he might’ve gotten her back.
here’s the thing about eurydice: she knew orpheus better than anyone. she knew he was not going to make it. but she followed him the whole way, because she missed him.
here’s another thing about eurydice:
guess who
come on. don’t just stand there. didn’t you miss me?
he’s letting me go
where are you going?
my love, did he tell you? we can be happy again. i’m coming home with you
my love
why won’t you look at me?
can you hear me? i’m right here
just turn around
please
he said i could go back. he said i could go with you
you can’t hear me, can you?
you don’t even know i’m here. i’m right behind you
wait!!! please wait
i need to think about this
stop!
won’t you stop walking please
this is some cruel trick, isn’t it?
just some. some specter dreamt up to torture me
my husband would never leave me behind so easily
you’re not him. i know you’re not
maybe it’s not a trick. maybe you really have forgotten me
please. please my love can you hear me
orpheus
look at me i beg you. what’s going on what’s happening
why won’t you turn around
please it’s been ages i thought i’d never see you again won’t you hold me for a moment
stop
orpheus
i can’t do this i can’t go with you
not if it’s going to be like this
i can’t haunt you. i need you to know i’m here i need you to love me back
don’t go please don’t
i can’t follow you out
i’m scared
wait!! please wait for me
orphe—
so somethings always bugged me and this post really brought it to bear. am i missing something critical about the orpheus thing? like he couldnt look but why didnt he just shout over his shoulder. was eurydice mute or he was deafened to her? I cant recall either of those things ever being mentioned. What was preventing them from just talking while they left?
here’s the thing about orpheus: he’s not being tested against temptation. he’s being tested in his faith. because it’s not that orpheus wasn’t allowed to see eurydice—it’s that he wasn’t allowed to know if she was even there.
here’s another thing about orpheus: he actually did it. he made it out of the underworld without turning around. but he was so excited at the possibility of getting eurydice back that he forgot she still had to follow him out. she had not yet crossed the threshold. one more second and he might’ve gotten her back.
here’s the thing about eurydice: she knew orpheus better than anyone. she knew he was not going to make it. but she followed him the whole way, because she missed him.
here’s another thing about eurydice:
3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh
0 ours of sleep = waouw 🌼🌼🌼🌼🐎
@sarumans
new chess piece called the jester which can move anywhere on the board but can't capture anything. it just gets in the way to annoy your opponent
hold on let me look something up
what yhe hell
I’ve hear about how having cats makes you immune to hauntings, ghosts, spooky midnight noises etc but. for years I’ve been dealing with a panic response to unexpected nighttime noises, major enough that the adrenaline can keep me from falling back asleep for hours.
A few weeks of living with a cat and my brain’s been reprogrammed. last night at 4am the furry little shitmuppet broke a vase & I only woke up long enough to call her a rat bastard & roll over back to sleep
Oh shit. This totally made me realize that it must have been my cat that killed my fear of the dark. I used to be intensely scared of walking into dark spaces. Hated any area where I had to turn a light off before I could turn another one on.
Enter my mostly black demon who likes to jump out of dark spaces at me.
Now I can just walk through dark rooms with no anxiety. I’m now used to the darkness taking physical form and jumping at me. At this point if a monster did jump out of the darkness I’d instinctively reach for the cat treats to offer it.
holy crap what other fears do cats make you immune to?
I’m no longer scared to dangle my foot over the bed bc of demons with sharp claws & glowing eyes, i’m scared to dangle my foot over the bed bc of one specific small furry demon with sharp claws & glowing eyes
#fuck off beelzebub my cat has dibs
My cats are legit part of my grounding strategy for when I have sleep hallucinations. As part of my sleep paralysis, I “see” corpses in the bed next to me on a frequent basis, or shadow men lurking in the doorway; if there is a cat blissfully, softly snoring at the foot of the bed, I know I am safe, despite what my brain is trying to conjure.
the sound of my door opening slowly, but theres no one there. my cat. somethings clawing at the walls, glass or window screens, cats. somethings fucking licking my toe in the middle of the night, my fucking cat again. nothing can hurt me its all cat
Unearthly noise? Cat.
Movement out of the corner of your eye? Cat.
Objects moved? Cat.
Inexplicable smells? Cat.
Corpses (small)? Cat.
Ectoplasm right in middle of the room, which you won’t notice till you step in it? Cat.
Do cats make the ghosts go away? Nah. They just make you stop being scared.
Do cats make the ghosts
go away? Nah. They just make
you stop being scared.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
My cats got rid of my fear, not because I assume every noise I hear is from them, but rather if my OCD is telling me not to look outside because someones out their waiting for me to see them so they can kill me, I know they aren’t actually there because my cats aren’t reacting.
Until they do some stupid shit like staring at my vent for 2-3 hours without moving at all for seemingly no reason what so ever
What, the forest-dwelling entities with imperfect human mimicry who insinuate themselves into groups of hikers? Yeah, we had one of those. Clocked it immediately, of course. Honestly it kind of fell in that so-inept-it's-kind-of-charming range. We just played along until it'd had it's fill of marshmallows and shambled back into the treeline. We might have been violating some kind of killjoy wildlife contact best practices but what the hell, can't plan around every little thing. Why, what happened to you guys
these tags are gold omg
It's a misconception that the mimics are hunting humans when they trail along at the back of hiking groups.
In fact, the creature you'll find suddenly walking beside you and acting as if they've always been there is almost certainly a juvenile, as the adults lose the ability when they reach reproductive age.
Recent studies suggest the forest mimic is less like a preying mantis (mimicry as a hunting strategy) and more like a cuckoo (mimicry as a protective strategy for their young). Adult forest mimics will leave their offspring near a group of hikers while they forage during the day, and retrieve them near trailheads in the evening. Groups of hikers provide safety from predators and allow the parents of the species the freedom to forage more widely.
For this reason, the traditional advice to never let a mimic into your vehicle is still very important, as this would separate the young mimic from its mother. If a juvenile forest mimic does follow your group to the parking lot, you can keep it entertained with trail snacks, dad jokes, and simple goofs. The mother will usually collect them shortly before sunset.
When you notice the woods around the trailhead go silent and feel a sense of nameless foreboding, find an excuse to avert your attention from the juvenile so it can sneak back into the forest to rejoin its mother, convinced it's fooled another party of unsuspecting humans.
surprisingly wholesome takes from the cryptid community here
@monstrousproductions
@spiritspodcast
I want to learn more exclamations that aren’t strictly just religious stuff. “Jesus Christ” this, “oh my god” that, nah I want something fresh.
What are some of y’all’s favorite exclamations that aren’t about god?
first submission and we're already off to a fantastic start. absolutely love this one thank you
ok its time for the challenge round now we want nominations that arent about sex either actually
had a friend who used to make new ones up on the spot. The only one that stuck with me was 'good golly jelly beans'. If something catastrophic happens I go for 'that's not ideal.'
@chekhovs-tantrum
Absolutely not letting you leave these in the tags.
i just got shot with a puppy rifle but it didnt hurt me because im not a puppy
me i just got shot by an elephant gun but im not even an elephant so im ok
i just got shot with a 9mm handgun but i'm ok because i am taller than 9mm
hi! I'm a 9mm tall puppyphant and i'm excited to be here!
omfg my post. I made this lmfao
A frame from one of the less popular TV specials They'll Take Your Face, Charlie Brown (1987)
the mercedes clr incident at le mans is one of the only racing crashes i feel comfortable laughing at because a) nobody was seriously injured and b) it is a little funny that mercedes watched their car do That and were like "okay. uh. you know what we're just never doing le mans ever again"
mercedes watching their car do this: huh. maybe we're not good at endurance racing.
my tags were correct, it did in fact do it twice
this is my impression of what it would look like if the toddlers at my job could make traumacore edits about me
alright by popular demand here is more toddler traumacore
this is my impression of what it would look like if the toddlers at my job could make traumacore edits about me
alright by popular demand here is more toddler traumacore
