Cherry

Listing the ‘A’ in lgbtqia+ as aro/ace/agender: cute!! cool!!! sexy!!! amazing!! hot!!

Listing the ‘A’ in lgbtqia+ as ally: gross!! gives allies (who arent a part of the community) more importance over actual members of the community!!! uncool!!

#literally fuck off lmfao #im not reading those think pieces ur giving me #edit: LMFAO THEYRE AN ACE EXCLUS #of course they are no fucking wonder theyve been spamming my notifs #talmbout some 'yknow REAL lgbt ppl face homophobia :)'#as if 1) being ace means you cant be any other acronym in el gee bee tea #and 2) aces dont face very real discrimination #they bout to look so fucking stupid when i tell them im a lesbian LMFAO

why is somebody in the comments arguing that putting precedent on allies over actual members of the community is actually Not Bad bc ‘lgbt+ ppl can use it as a cover’ as if you suddenly lose the ability to do that when people say being an ally isnt inherently lgbt and shouldnt be included in the acronym by default over actual lgbt identities

my hot take of the day is that “transmisogyny exempt” is a fucking stupid term

no one is transmisogyny exempt. cis women who have been ejected from women’s bathrooms for not being visibly feminine enough are victims of transmisogyny. people of color who experience violence for not fitting into white gender norms are victims of transmisogyny. the term is useless, save for serving as a more woke-coded way to classify people by their birth genders, and I wish that this was something we could all stop doing in general, so why not start here

Literally what the fuck is wrong with you… how are you this incapable of understanding this

Cis women getting kicked out of womens rooms because they’re mistaken for being trans women aren’t experiencing transmisogyny, they’re experiencing misogyny. They’re being mistreated for not looking the way that society wants women to look, but they aren’t experiencing this the same way that trans women are experiencing this. I’m begging you to develop critical thinking skills.

So this woman who was physically assaulted in a public restroom by a security guard who mistook her for a man wasn’t experiencing transmisogyny? She was forcibly removed from the premises because someone mistook her for the incorrect gender and assumed she was a predatory man trespassing on a women’s space. As a trans woman to whom this has happened more than once: That’s pretty much the dictionary definition of transmisogyny, even though the victim was, in this case, cis.

That isnt how things work… im literally begging you at this point to develop some critical thinking skills, she was experiencing misogyny but to claim a cis person is experiencing transphobia?? Like… how is this not a bit??

It doesn’t matter if she was cis or not. The thing that matters here was the perpetrator’s perception of the victim–and he quite literally thought that she was a man in the women’s restroom. He didn’t say to her, “Excuse me, ma’am, but you can’t be in here because you aren’t dressed in a way I find acceptable,” did he? No, he said, “No boys allowed in the women’s restroom.” He acted violently towards her because he failed to recognize her correct gender and thought she was a man. This is not “just” misogyny; in being violent towards a woman who presented in a more masculine manner than he would have liked, the perpetrator here committed a transmisogynistic act, regardless of the identity of the victim.

#literally what the fuck is wrong with op #transmisogyny is a very real thing #and literally cannot be experienced by cis ppl #why did this exchange even need to happen #transmisogyny tw

That still isnt what transmisogyny is. Transmisogyny is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny that trans women specifically experience that isolates us from our communities and leads to systemic harm being perpetrated against us. This woman was experiecing the misogyny of the expectation for women to look a certain way, but she was not experiencing an intersection with transphobia. Just because two people can experience similar things, that doesnt mean that the reasons for their experiences are the same.

What would help this cis woman is for the standards for womanhood to not be so strict, and for people to act with more kindness to women. While these also benefit a trans woman (as we experience misogyny too), those alone would not actually help us entirely. Many people don’t see us as women, or even as men. They see us as degendered monsters, and they treat us this way because of that.

To use another example: Feminine straight men may experience some similar things to what gay men experience, but that doesnt mean that feminine straight men experience homophobia. Claiming that people who are not part of an oppressed group experience the same oppression of that group—esp when they themselves perpetuate this oppression—is neither accurate nor is it helpful for either.

Transmisogyny also goes beyond just overt hate crimes. The way that trans women are driven out of lgbt spaces, not listened to abt our specific issues, and degendered constantly… these are only some of what transmisogyny looks like

icarusfellintomyarms

@dykeceratops it’s similar to the idea that white people can’t experience racism because the term itself (racism) is used to identify power dynamics in cultural and government structures that benefit white people at the cost of black and brown people.

People who are victims of misdirected transphobia, and misdirected homophobia are just that… It’s misdirected.

It’s like what @punkypoodle said. You wouldn’t call a straight man a victim of homophobia just cause his friends call him a faggot or gay cause he wore a pink sweatshirt, or went to Target with his mom. They’re still straight, and they cause significantly more damage to gay men just because of the fact they’re straight, and benefit from those power dynamics.

Claiming these people are victims of actual -phobias as opposed to misdirected prejudices is also what allows people to prioritize the feelings of these oppressors. It’s how we get the whole idea that friendship between straight men is more important to show than romantic relationships between men.

transmisogyny-explained

This just in: Systemic oppression doesn’t exist because sometimes oppressors are the victims of interpersonal discrimination by other oppressors and this is equally as bad as being actually marginalized, somehow.

For once, can y’all just be willing to admit that you don’t want to acknowledge transmisogyny as a legitimate axis of systemic oppression which you benefit from because it means being held accountable for your transmisogynistic actions?

pinkfemme-deactivated20210608

i often get asks like “how can lesbians be nonbinary?”, the answer is very simple: nonbinary is not a third gender and there are many genders and experiences under it, many of those may align to lesbians’ experiences and many nonbinary people may feel connection to womanhood. just like many lesbians are nonbinary because of their lesbianism, our lack of attraction to men makes us feel very disconnected and excluded from what society seems as a woman and that helps us shape our gender. nonbinary lesbians have always existed and we always will! we are part of lesbian history and lesbianism is freedom!

#lesbiansafe #nonbinary lesbian positivity #lesbian positivity

hope all the hesbians and theysbians are having a wonderful day today

#lgbtq #lgbt positivity #lesbian positivity #he/him lesbians #they/them lesbians

sappysapphics

like ultimately when it comes down to it like. I don’t face homophobia because I “identify” as a lesbian, I face homophobia because of my internal experiences of attraction to women and my external relationships with women and lesbian presentation. Bi women believe it or not also have internal experiences of attraction to women, external relationships with women, and are often not read as cishet by society due to their presentation (being used here to broadly mean aesthetic choices, body language, speech patterns, etc) and while there are also obviously differences between a bisexual and lesbian experience (due to the fact that bi women also have internal experiences of attraction to men and external relationships with them) facing at least some degree of homophobia that very often leads to trauma and self-hate is not one of the differences and if u believe otherwise u need to apologize to ur local bi woman

pinkfemme-deactivated20210608

from a lesbian who understands what all of those things feel like. ♡

transxfiles

not to be That Person but nonbinary people shouldn’t have to have a complex knowledge of the history of gender in every culture and scientific studies on gender vs biological sex and a history of all the neopronouns ever made and then be able to explain all of these to people we’re meeting for the first time ever in order to be respected and not misgendered. nonbinary people should be able to just go up to someone and give their pronouns and gender and have no one question it. we should not have to be scholars in a wide array of subjects and then have to articulate this to strangers in order to be taken seriously. thank you and have a nice day.

#finally people with sense #also #@ guiltyidealist #dw it didnt sound like you were implying cis women suffer more at the hands of terfs #or at least not to me #i got what you meant

terfs are so fucking weird,,, yall claim to be feminists and yet constantly reduce women down to reproductive organs and biological functions,,, are constantly trying to enforce traditional gender roles,,,, champion biological essentialism,,,,, and yall still genuinely believe youre “feminists” and are “helping women” somehow lmao

bread-and-roses-too

Terfs claim to be “gender abolitionists” and then insult trans women for having “masculine” features as if that doesn’t also damage cis women and promote gender stereotypes.

guiltyidealist

Don't forget the cis women they insult over being too "masculine," too, often according to their white standards. It's more direct than that

guiltyidealist

I want to clarify that I don't mean to imply that their lateral oppression toward cis women is in any way worse or more important than the oppression they exert upon trans women. I just meant to point out an even more direct way in which they hurt cis women than their hurting of trans women

hhhcxfdfuinvdftyib-blog

Butches are just as kind and loving as femmes. The idea that masculine women are scary and mean is so so wrong, they need to be appreciated and cared for just like everyone else. Butches deserve so much love.

you call out one terf and here come all they friends.... pack it up jk rowling’s twitter mentions!!!

#dumb humor #terfs dont fucking touch #lgbtq

positivepatton

I feel like some LGBTQ+ people need to hear that it isn’t their fault if their loved ones don’t accept them.

And it isn’t. No matter what the reason is, what they say to you, any circumstances at all- it isn’t your fault. It isn’t ever your fault.

If they love you, than they should accept you- Even when it’s confusing or hard for them, they should always support you. That’s on them, not you.

I’m really sorry if you’re going through this right now. I truly hope that they come around, and soon. But in the mean time, please remember to never blame yourself.

#lgbtq #positivity