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@roza-risk-ann
Cliff can't believe he didn't figure it out sooner. The strange move to Ottawa. How happy he's been. And most damming of all, "Jane", it fucking rhymes!
He watches a highlight reel of Ilya celebrating with his line and realizes he's just going to have to accept it.
Ilya was in love with Zane Boodram.
Ottawa wins the Cup, wins it in LA, and due to the proximity to stardom and the several actual celebrities who make a point to come out and celebrate with the Centaurs, there are approximately seven hundred angles of the festivities on every social media by the following morning.
One of these is your classic TMZ highly invasive round-the-corner spy shot of Shane and Ilya--like, waiting for an Uber, is what it looks like, and the bass from inside the club is pounding and you can barely hear what they're saying except that the guy standing next to them is also TMZ and he's got a directional mic sticking out of his pocket pointed at them and when he gets into position you can hear Shane Hollander, like, fucking giggle.
"I'm sorry," Shane says, and his arms are around Ilya's neck. "I got--I'm a little drunk."
"It's okay," Ilya says, and he brushes a hand through Shane's hair. "Did you have fun?"
"Ye-s-s-s," Shane says, nodding his head decisively. "We won the Cu-p."
"Yes we did. I am proud of you."
"I'm proud of you!" Shane cups a hand around the back of Ilya's neck and giggles again into his shoulder. "Why aren't you drunk? I drank the same things as you--"
"I'm drunk," Ilya chuckles. "But I have twenty pounds on you and I am Russian, so."
"That's not a thing. That's not really a thing." Shane sighs and goes a bit boneless against Ilya's body and says, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have, uh--"
"Shh. You said you had fun, and this is all that matters. My beautiful winner." He kisses the side of Shane's face, loudly and repeatedly.
Shane makes a sound that Twitter, TikTok and Instagram comment sections will all agree is a purr.
There are also, by the following morning, about a hundred discrete comments on various platforms that all say some version of Oh I just know he talks him through it.
scott and kip are like “i know it’s only been three months but i love you and i can’t live without you please move in with me” and then you open the next book and page 1 shane and ilya are like “i know we’ve been secretly making love for 10 years and you are the only person on earth who truly Gets Me but if we talk about our feelings for 1 second i Will Die”
my headcanon is that people always assume ilya must be upset that none of his children look like him and that they're all the spitting image of shane, but ilya genuinely doesn't understand why anyone thinks that's a bad thing. his children have shane's freckles, shane's jet-black hair, shane's smile, and every time he looks at them, all he can see is the love of his life. he never wanted little copies of himself. if anything, he's grateful they all look like shane. every familiar feature feels like a gift, and sometimes he catches himself staring at them for a little too long because he's so overwhelmed by how much he loves them. somehow, he gets to see the face he fell in love with reflected in his children every single day, and he wouldn't have it any other way
hollanov taking an after game interview together because of plot convenience reasons and ilya was chirping the opposing team about their first line points per game being barely scraping 0.4 when shane tapped his arm lightly and ilya leaned towards him. all the reporters perk up because omg are we gonna see shane hollander disciplining ilya rozanov live???? this is TEA. and ilya just nodded and said
“apologies, my husband wanted to correct that their first line pgp was 0.34. which was more pathetic than i originally assumed.”
shane was out and about with rose one day at one of her jewellery appointments that sort of merges with shane’s schedule and he offers to come along with her because otherwise they couldn’t see each other at all.
anyway so rose is an ambassador for that brand and they’re getting her to try on jewellery while shane browses like a regular customer, before a brooch catches his eyes. it’s one of those gorgeous brooches that has a massive sapphire in the middle and diamonds all over and okay, the sapphire really looks like ilya’s eyes. so now shane ends up with a brooch, and rose gushes over how he spoils his husband sooo much
he gives it to ilya and when ilya asks what occasion he just shrugs and says “it reminds me of you” and when ilya opens the box he nearly fainted. because my guy knows the quality of jewellery of that brand and how expensive they are
shall I add a description here?
ilya sees this old trend where someone holds out a hand to their partner to see what their partner would give them so he comes over to try it with shane who’s on the sofa. he holds out his hand and shane gives him the remote. he tosses the remote aside. shane looks a bit confused. he gives ilya his phone. ilya tosses that aside. he gives ilya a pillow. ilya tosses that aside. he gives ilya his hand. ilya shakes it out. his face squints in confusion before coming up with an idea and rests his chin on ilya’s hand. and okay, well, the challenge is just to annoy your partner, but holy fuck shane looks so fucking cute with his big brown eyes looking up at ilya waiting for his approval so ilya just really has to smile and kisses him about it.
Oh one BIG reason I think the general public in Canada especially would be extremely pro-Shane Hollander even post-outing: he imports Ilya Rozanov and he doesn't leave Canada even when the situation in Montreal goes sideways
It's honestly impossible to overstate what a big deal that is. Canada constantly losing their hockey talent to US teams and the Stanley drought...it doesn't fucking matter what went down with those French Canadians, the rest of the country is ignoring that, he's still their hero.
When Ilya steps out in a Team Canada jersey at the 2026 Olympics and they crush team USA 6-0 in the gold medal match Shane would be instantly deified as the first Canadian saint.
i have an extremely beautiful scene in my mind of shane at home on their couch with ilya's head on one thigh and anya's head on the other and providing simultaneous head scritches and having to try SO hard not to laugh when pausing gets him non-verbal complaints from BOTH of them
he pauses once just because it's funny and gets ilya's hand tapping his knee at the same time it gets him anya swatting the air with her paw in the direction of his hand, and there are TEARS in his eyes resisting the urge to laugh as he resumes because he doesn't want to break the softness of this moment even though it's also objectively hilarious to be part of
you know Ilya is clutching his chest from the cuteness aggression
Post marriage, Ilya and Shane’s fans think that now Ilya will be PR trained by Yuna and expect him to give some normal answers in post game interviews. There are multiple jokes online about how Ilya is finally “leashed” or “domesticated”.
But then after the first game of the Ottawa Centaurs, Ilya says something outrageous about the captain of the opponent team, and Shane snorts off screen. The camera moves to his face and it catches the barest of Shane’s smile before he schools his expression. That night, hockey twitter explodes because not only Shane (and Yuna) aren’t “controlling” Ilya, Shane even laughs at Ilya’s comment on camera. The PR trained Golden Boy of Hockey broke his composure because his husband chirped at another player on screen. The power of love or whatever they say.
Shane doesn't use the Pride Tape on his stick. He doesn't like the feel of it, he likes his specific tape and his routines. After the Fanmail Outing, a reporter asks him if he's going to use the Pride tape now and Shane is like "no? It's cool that other people use it but it's not for me" and people keep bugging him about it and someone online posts a big thing about internalized homophobia and Shane just posts online
"I'm not homophobic, I'm autistic, thanks for making me reveal something about myself I wasn't sure I wanted the public to know about AGAIN"
And Ilya, who never used the Pride Tape because of the whole Being Russian thing just posts a selfie of him and Shane post-fuck with the quote
"how can I be homophobic, my bitch is gay"
Oh shit wait ok
So one year for charity different pro athletes get asked to participate in a live game based on one of those “how well do you know your partner” games but instead it’s “how well do you know your rival” and participating means you get to raise money for a charity of your choice and obviously Shane and Ilya want to promote the Irina Project so they agree and go up against other current famous rivals from other sports
And Shane and Ilya discuss ahead of time that obviously they’ll have to just play things off as they usually do, light hearted chirps back and forth and what not, “winning” is just for the show and won’t impact how much money gets made for their charity so it doesn’t matter. Except then they get there and become overtaken by the need to Win and Be the Best and they are the best. So without needing to discuss changing the plan, as soon as the questions start they lock in and decide that actually they have to demolish everyone else
The other rivals are laughing and making jokes at the questions but Shane and Ilya are deadly serious and the host starts to get a little weirded out by the fact that they actually know the answers and aren’t just saying things like “how many goals last season? Probably one less than me haha” and actually have each others stats memorized
Because the audience is loving it they go to a lightning round that’s just Shane and Ilya and it’s now the usual couple game questions and they’re still getting them right because they can make excuses for knowing later, right now is about Winning
“What is Shane’s favorite breakfast?”
“Kale protein shake with a scoop of peanut butter and a handful of blueberries.”
“Ok um, what is Ilya’s favorite breakfast?”
“Two sausage egg McMuffins with an extra slice of cheese and hashbrowns.”
“What is something on Shane’s bucket list?”
“Sleeping in one of those see through igloos under the northern lights.”
“What is something on Ilya’s bucket list?”
“That thing where you feed giraffes at a zoo.”
“Ok last one. I think we all know Shane’s answer is former paramour Rose Landry, but who do you think is the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with is?”
*through teeth gritted so tight he is in danger of chipping one* “Probably a model. Or something.”
“… Yeah, let’s go with that.”
Years later when they’re out Shane reshares the clip and the only non-PR approved thing he says on the matter is “It was me, by the way. I am the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with.”
Cradled
baby Ilya’s tiny angry Russian ranting when Irina won’t let him stay on the ice and his cheeks are all bright pink and his little nose is wet and he’s plopping down onto the ice and crossing his arms and yelling NYET NYET NYET.
Across the ocean at the exact same time, the exact same thing is happening to a very exhausted Yuna Hollander.
i just HAD to draw this
06-15✨ HBD Ilya Rozanov!!!
