Summary: Cliff Marleau tries make a gesture of goodwill towards Ilya, but it does not go to plan. So, Cliff pulls in reinforcements, namely Roz's husband.
Pairing: Ilya Rosanov x Shane Hollander and Cliff Marleau
Warnings: Angst. Discussions of homophobia. Major spoilers for Brokeback Mountain.
Word Count: 1,724
A/N: So this fic was inspired by this post from @rainbow-femme. I hope you enjoy! ❤️ Please comment and reblog if you do - means the world. 😊
Cliff Marleau looked down at his phone, staring at the contact labeled “Hollander” for almost a solid minute before pressing it.
“Fuck.” He said quietly, under his breath. He’d fucked up.
After only one ring, Shane Hollander picked up. “Hello?” He said, his questioning tone conveying that he was very confused, and understandably so.
They had exchanged numbers over a year ago when Hollander had been throwing Roz a surprise party and wanted Cliff to invite any Raiders players Roz had stayed in touch with. Even then, they’d only ever texted each other. So, he couldn’t blame Hollander for being unsure about answering the call.
“Hollander?” Cliff asked, before he shook his head at his own stupidity. Who the fuck else would be answering his phone.
But if Hollander thought he was an idiot for asking, he didn’t mention it. “Yeah, what’s going on? Is Ilya still with you?”
Cliff nodded. “Yeah, yeah, he’s…uh, he’s here.”
He hesitated to continue and Hollander pressed him, his voice sounding slightly panicked. “Okay. Marleau, what the fuck…why are you calling me? What’s wrong?”
Cliff shook his head again as though Hollander could see him. “No, nothing. I mean, he’s fine, he’s uh…fuck I don’t know if he’s fine. He’s not, like, hurt or anything…he’s, I dunno…upset?”
Hollander sounded vaguely impatient and it sounded like he was moving around on the other end of the phone. “What do you mean, upset?”
Cliff took a deep breath. “We watched a movie.”
Hollander sounded like that was the last thing he’d expected to hear. “A movie?”
“Yeah, we uh…we watched Brokeback Mountain.”
There was silence for a moment and then Hollander exploded. “Are you fucking kidding me? Why would you show him that? Did you at least warn him that it’s incredibly dark and sad?”
“No!” Cliff said in a harsh whisper. Roz didn’t know he was calling his husband and he wanted to keep it that way for the moment. “I didn’t tell him, cause I didn’t know! I thought…all I knew was that it was about gay cowboys. I thought it was gonna be like, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, but like the gay version.”
Hollander snorted. “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid IS the gay version of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.”
Cliff thought for a moment and had to concede Hollander’s point. “Yeah well, whatever, I thought it was gonna be like a western romp, or whatever. All I knew was it was popular, and had gay cowboys.”
His voice became desperate and apologetic. “I didn’t know it was just a story about them being fucked over and having to lie constantly and never getting to be together and- fuck!” He exclaimed. “I sure as HELL didn’t realize that Jack gets fucking hatecrimed to death in the end! That was fucking…horrifying!”
Just the memory of the scene of Ennis clutching Jack’s shirt and grieving, all alone and silent, made a lump form in Cliff’s throat again.
He let out a little frustrated sigh at his own stupidity. “Look, I was trying to…I just wanted to let Roz know that I’m cool with it, you know…him and you and…whatever.”
Hollander sighed. “Sure, Marleau, I get it. But, what happened with Ilya?”
Cliff scrubbed a hand down over his stubbled cheeks. “Fuck man, he just kept getting quieter and quieter as the movie went on. I asked him if he wanted to stop the movie a couple times, but he said no. And then after Jack died, he didn’t say another word. When the movie ended he just kinda put his head on his knees and now he’s been like that for almost ten minutes. He just kind of grunts at me occasionally when I try to talk to him. I think you should come.”
Cliff heard the jingle of keys. “Yeah, I’m already getting in the car. Be there in ten.”
***
Cliff walked back into his spacious living room to see Roz still bent in half, head down on his folded arms where they rested on his knees.
“So…uh…how you feeling? Are you uh…you sick, or something?” He offered, providing an out for Roz if he didn’t want to admit to being overwhelmed by the emotions of the heartbreaking movie.
Ilya grunted at him again and Cliff sighed. “Okay, so I called Hollander. He’s gonna be here soon.”
Roz’s head popped up at that. “What? What the fuck?” He blinked at Cliff for a minute before pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Why the fuck would you do that?”
Cliff threw up his hands. “Because you were freaking me out man! You weren’t moving, you weren’t talking.”
Roz was frowning at his phone as he stabbed at the buttons. “I just needed a fucking minute, Marly. You didn’t have to call my fucking husband.”
“It was like ten minutes, man, and you weren’t answering me.”
Roz swore as he got Hollander's voicemail.
Cliff walked over to fall onto the couch beside Roz. “He’s probably driving. He’s not gonna answer.”
“Fuck.” Roz said again as he dropped his phone onto the coffee table and leaned back on the couch with his arms folded across his chest and his eyes closed.
An uncomfortable silence reigned for a minute or two, the only sound was the clock ticking on the wall of his living room. Finally, he turned to Roz.
“Look, I’m sorry, man. I swear I had no idea that’s what that movie was about. I just…I knew it was a…a…a fucking gay movie, and I wanted to show you that I was, ya know, cool and shit. With everything. With you and Hollander and the whole being gay thing.”
Roz just nodded softly. “It’s cool, Marly. Sorry for…” He waved vaguely at himself. “For whatever the fuck this is.”
Cliff shrugged. “No, man, I get it. That was…rough.” He said for lack of a better word.
They were quiet for another minute before Cliff spoke again. “I used to uh…when I was a kid, like high school…no fuck that, even after that, into my twenties, I used to call shit gay.”
Roz turned his head towards him and there was a line between his brows, indicating his confusion.
Cliff shrugged. “Like instead of saying something was, I dunno, lame or something. Like if something sucked, I’d say it was gay.”
Roz seemed to understand and nodded. “Yes, a lot of people did that.”
“Still, it was an asshole thing to do. You know, I never gave it a second thought. It was just, what people said.” He shrugged again. “Then I was home for Christmas and my little sister’s best friend is gay, and she heard me say it and called me out. And it was the first time I ever thought about the fact that I was saying gay is the same as lame or stupid. So, I stopped saying it. I mean, I think I slipped up a couple times, cause it was just part of how I talked. But I worked on it and stopped.”
Roz nodded, a hint of a smile on his lips. “Why are you telling me this?”
Cliff felt his face flush. He sucked at explaining things. “I just…I wanted you to know that I’m sorry. I mean, if you and Hollander had to like, hide, the way Jack and Ennis did, keep everything a secret from everyone, I’m sorry I made you think you had to hide it from me too. It probably woulda shocked me, I mean it did shock me when you were first outed. But…I’d like to think, even back then, I coulda changed enough to get over it and be cool with you guys and try to be there to help, or whatever.”
He paused and took a deep breath. “I just wish you’d have thought it would be okay to tell me you were gay.”
Cliff smirked. “Right, bi, sorry. That’s good. I mean, I woulda felt bad for the hundreds of chicks you took home through the years. The fucking letdown for them, you know.”
Roz chuckled lightly just as a knock came to the door. He instantly groaned. “Fuck, go let my husband in.”
***
Shane brushed past Marleau with a brief nod, too worried about Ilya to concentrate on politeness at the moment.
The entranceway led straight into the living room where Shane could see Ilya sitting on the couch. He vaguely noticed Marleau wandering in the opposite direction and he was grateful their host was giving them the time alone.
Ilya was shaking his head as Shane entered. “Marly shouldn’t have called you, I’m fine. It was just…a lot at first.”
Shane ignored his husband’s words and focused on the look of devastation in his eyes. Ignoring time and place, Shane simply climbed into Ilya’s lap and kissed him. He pulled back when he tasted Ilya’s tears. Ilya’s eyes stayed closed as the tears fell from beneath his long lashes.
Shane’s own eyes watered as he thumbed away the tears on Ilya’s cheeks. “Oh, baby, I’m sorry. That movie is…impossibly sad and hard to watch.”
Ilya’s eyes popped open. “You’ve seen it?”
Shane nodded.
“When?”
Shane shrugged, trying for nonchalance. “I don’t know, six or seven years ago, I think.”
Ilya looked horrified. “You watched this, BEFORE we were together?”
Shane nodded again. “Yeah, I watched it one summer at the cottage, cause I knew no one would see.” A rueful, sad smile tipped up his mouth. “I cried for two days.”
He dropped his forehead to Ilya’s. “Hit just a little too close to home, you know.”
Ilya kissed him, slow and wet, before speaking. “I’m sorry, Shane. I can’t imagine how much worse it would have been to watch it without this on your finger.” He said, rubbing the ring on Shane’s fourth finger.
“Yeah, it was hard.” Shane said, before he smiled warmly. “But, as it happens, I have good news that I wish I could share with that Shane who was crying in the cottage.”
Ilya tightened his arms around Shane’s ribs. “Oh yeah?”
Shane nodded. “Yeah.” He leaned down and pressed his lips softly to Ilya’s, kissing him with all the warmth, love, and gratitude he had in his heart.
“Turns out, we got a happy ending.”
Couple of people asked to be tagged, so here ya go. :)
I just think, based on the way Ilya had his hand down his pants for the entirety of the Boston conversation, that after he and Shane are settled in their relationship his relaxation always includes somewhat inappropriate Shane touching. They're watching a movie with Shane resting on his chest? Ilya's hand is on his bare ass, fingers playing along the crease where his butt becomes his thigh, occasionally lifting the cheek and letting it go just to feel it jiggle. Shane's on the couch reading? Ilya's crawling between his legs and resting his head in the crease of his thigh. Shane's cuddled up with his back against Ilya's chest? Ilya's hand is resting on that man's cock. It's not necessarily sexual, it's not consciously possessive (although it is subconsciously possessive in that Shane's body is his to touch in whatever way he wants), that's just how he's most comfortable.
Meanwhile, Shane Oral Fixation Hollander always has some part of Ilya in his mouth. So they're cuddled up, Ilya's right hand on Shane's ass, the left one in his mouth and it's become so normal that neither one of them gives it a second thought. There's definitely a time or two where they accidentally do it around other people, like they're watching a scary movie with the Pikes and don't realise that Shane's had two of Ilya's fingers in his mouth for the past ten minutes until Hyden catches it out of the corner of his eye and goes "dude, what the fuck??" or they're heading back with the Cens after a series of away games and they're cuddled up on the plane, both half asleep, when Ilya's hand just makes its way down Shane's pants to rest in the crease of his groin and when Troy says "Roz, you'll be home in like two hours, can't that wait?" neither one of them realises what he's even referring to.
ilya laying awake in bed at 2am: i don't know how to bring the team together and improve our scoring
shane laying awake next to him: what about a pizza party
ilya: what
shane: what about doing a pizza party when they score high
ilya: what is pizza party
shane: it's like. this party you get in school when your class does well. you eat pizza and don't have to do any work and everybody looks forward to it
ilya, already frantically typing into his notes app: wait stop start over
with how deeply physical their bond is, i don't think that hollanov ever bothered to develop a safeword. i do think, though, that they developed-- by accident!-- a physical system to tell each other how they are feeling. and it definitely bleeds into their life outside the bedroom, and it's definitely subconscious at this point, and it definitely makes it into the locker room and onto the ice by the time they're both in ottawa.
which means maybe the centaurs have picked up on the fact that hey, sometimes when shane wants ilya to stop doing something, he taps his arm twice. or if ilya wants shane to move one way, he taps him three times. or if he just wants his attention, its a squeeze. which is all relatively normal, and they probably think its cute that they have an unspoken language for communicating with one another.
and then maybe-- by accident!-- it starts taking root as a thing, and then mindlessly troy or wyatt or bood accidentally double pats shane's arm to get him to stop talking to ilya for a moment, and shane thinks for a moment, that was a weird coincidence, and moves on. but then it happens again, and then maybe luca squeezes his arm to get his attention and then bood taps him three times to get him to move aside so he can walk past and shane feels himself flush to the ears and catches ilya's eyes across the room and ilya definitely noticed that too. so now what? they can't full well ask them to stop without saying, hey, so this was a sex thing. but it'd be weird to let it continue... right?
Shane and Ilya’s daughter has to do a family tree project in class. They’ve done a great job at emphasizing to her that parents can be any two people that love each other and she understands that other kids might not know that. The rest of the project will be pretty straight forward - Shane doesn’t have any siblings and their daughter doesn’t know much about Ilya’s family at this age besides that papa has a mama that watches over them and that loves her very much. Shane is still nervous about it and having a Very Normal Shane Reaction wondering if she will feel left out for not having a mom and feeling sad that she will never know her papas family and wondering if she is lonely and if they should have another kid. When they get an email from the school asking them to come in at pickup to discuss her family tree Ilya is already angry and ready to pick a fight with whatever stupid kid is bullying their daughter for having two dads. They walk into the classroom and their daughter is standing with her arms crossed insisting that there is nothing wrong with her project and when the teacher slides it across the table they see something so bizarre that they don’t know where to start. She’s drawn on only one side of the tree - Ilya and Shane both stemming from Yuna and David. Next to them are about ten stick figures of different sizes all with hearts around them. While they’re trying to decipher what on earth she has drawn she starts presenting it with her little finger saying “see? Dad is grandma Yuna and grandpa David’s son and Papa is grandma Yuna and grandpa David’s son, too.” And then she moves her finger along with “and that’s uncle Hayden, uncle Troy and uncle Harris, uncle Evan, uncle Luca….” And as she’s naming every stick figure Shane is trying to figure out how he’s going to explain to her teacher that he is not married to one of his 10 brothers when he is actually an only child and Ilya has to turn away because he’s crying at the reminder that the family that adopted him adopted her as well and there has never been a child that has been so loved
10 year old shane hollander at a m&g with the scott hunter. rookie of the year and 1st round draft pick. the photo is signed and he’s holding hunters jersey posing next to him 😃👍🏻
15 years later ilya rozanov gets ahold of this photo and somewhere in new york scott hunter feels an imbalance in the universe. like the tectonic plates have moved. there’s a tsunami coming and he can’t stop it
i wonder how people who don't have the assigned shane of the day posts to guide them go about their days. how do they know what vibe the day is going to have? is it a mouth-frog smiley cottage shane day? or angry kitten shane day? or blissed out bellboy rp shane day? they don't even have an assigned shane of the day to guide them. not even the shoracle. or the shorb.
Cliff and Ilya have the kind of friendship where they absolutely cannot say “I love you” out loud without immediately ruining the moment on purpose. Like one of them accidentally says something sincere after a bad game and there’s a full two seconds of silence before the other goes “okay relax man, don’t make it weird” while actively tearing up.
