if i look back, i am lost
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
AnasAbdin
Today's Document
hello vonnie
roma★
Misplaced Lens Cap
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$LAYYYTER
Sade Olutola
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Three Goblin Art
ojovivo
KIROKAZE
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Stranger Things
Discoholic 🪩
Andulka
art blog(derogatory)
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@sablesaysann
so funny that ilya spends all of episode one beating shane + rubbing it in his face and then shane finally gets his win and tries to rub it in ilyas face so cutely his little banter . and ilya is like What are u talking about I never cared about any of this My life fucking sucks obviously. and shane is like 😯 oh damn My bad
may dashboard simulator
mutual 1: [shane hollander image]
mutual 2: not to be dramatic but i think shane and ilya like each other…..
mutual 3: [hudson williams image] #HASHTAG NEEDTHAT
mutual 4: au where everything is the same but hayden pike’s name is chungledown bim
mutual 5: [ilya rozanov image]
mutual 6: [png of shane edited into a fish tank] shish
mutual 7: rpf = real person fuckin. they did that.
mutual 8: connie from admin is my biological mother
Ahhh every time Ilya in fics uses a word I don’t know I’m like 😡😡😡 didn’t this guy win enough how can he also win English
For the Right Reasons 🌹
hollanov, AU, rated E, 63K words (complete)
Coming this fall to ABC… MLH star Shane Hollander is The Bachelor!
Bachelor Nation, we have one question: will you accept this rose?
"Nice work today, Hollander," Ilya says. Another bright nugget of praise, the second day in a row he’s handed one to Shane. Shane wants to grab at it. "What you said to Kelsea was very useful. All those things about the responsibilities of team captain’s wife. LA will like that." Shane fights a smile. "You told me to say that, asshole." Ilya smiles easily, not fighting anything, and extends his arms, palms up, as if he's offering something else to Shane. "Of course, that is why it was so good." He pauses, then asks, "Tell me, do you like this?" It's familiar for Shane to trip during a conversation; to fall behind other people without realizing he has and stumble when he tries to catch up. It hasn't happened as much with Ilya, so he notices it now: he has no idea what Ilya is talking about. "What? Do I like what?" Ilya's teeth are bright, his smile is not quite big enough for his big mouth. "When I shove my hand up your ass like a puppet and make you talk."
Loved this one so much; already happily anticipating how I will reread it. Gave me the best kind of “Unreal” vibes, while still being a love story. A combo of punchy, passionate, hilarious and heartbreaking.
(You remember Unreal, of course? A 2015 show about reality show producer manipulating contesters? Great stuff. Shiri Appleby plays my ideal of a woman: a traumatized person who learnt to manipulate <…> irrelevant, I’ve just went to check Wiki page for the show to try to remember if it had anything else apart from toxicity and learnt that Francois Arnaud was in it, is there a piece of media that has touched me and changed me in a weird twisted way he didn’t star in?)
(Please read the fic it’s very good I don’t know why I went on an Unreal tangent)
i think the reason i can never truly get deep into most rpf is that i don’t have the soul of a true RPFer but that of a tinhatter. if i dont think they might be fucking for real i just don’t have as much fun with it. i think it’s because i watched so much dan and phil as a teen—what? no sorry i don’t want any coke i just wanted to be in this little bathroom with you
amazing
I dislike that the sex condo plot is missing in the HR TV show, like I do get it, they probably couldn't even afford scouting another location or whatever. But the detail abut the sex condo that's so good is that the first time it's totally unrenovated except for the bedroom. Shane takes Ilya to this fucking construction site of an apartment and Ilya is like ????? what ????? and then Shane is like "dw I did make sure there's a bed since literally the only thing that I care about is getting fucked. don't let the door hit you on the way out btw"
Esp early on book!Shane is so fucking cold man, it's amazing
(The equally amazing thing is down bad loverboy of all time Ilya decides to take this move as ROMANTIC because he's like ✨😍 he bought us a building ✨🥰👬😊)
One of the darkest aspects re: Shane in the books for me is the idea that Shane is regularly forcing himself into sexual encounters because he's desperate to be attracted to women (not to be straight---he knows hes into men).
Shane's constantly forcing himself to sleep with women, because a) he needs to to maintain his status in the hyper masculine world he's in and b) he's dead sure that eventually it'll work he just has to find the right girl. It's classic comphet:
It's so dark because Shane internalizes his sex with women as basically a humiliation ritual he has to endure to have the life that he wants, which is a hockey superstar:
Shane's watching all his teammates get married in their early 20---and going to their weddings, presumbly stag---while he's enduring sexual humilitation after humiliation. This is such a huge difference in the mediums---in the show the implication is that Ilya is all the sex Shane is having, and so it's these islands of peak sexual activity in an ocean of celibacy. So of course people assume that Shane is thinking about Ilya all the time. In the book it's more like Shane is hooking up frequently and Ilya is one of many but the only one he actually enjoys.
Also this is a headcanon, but I also think the weddings play into Shane's anxiety around his age. He knows that the clock is ticking, he knows that at some point people are going to start asking pointed questions about why he's not married yet.
Being a Russian speaker and actively consuming HR fandom is an adventure, but mostly a pleasant one; I’ve remembered a billion of Russian/eastern European foods I forgot, and developed some tolerance to certain pet names in Russian: before the word “sunshine” would make me cringe hard but now I’m one step away from starting calling my friends so (even though it’s still so “Mama talking to child” coded)
But one thing I can’t get past by; one thing fucking breaks me like a stick the moment I see it
Fucking “Shanya”
Like I just know it was a native speaker of Russian who decided, hm, let’s ruin fanfiction for the rest of the people, and came up with it
Cause a) it makes no sense as a diminutive; like whatsoever.
As a diminutive of Shane you could make some monstrosity like Shanusha, I guess, but it would never be used affectionately, unless everyone involved has no feeling for aesthetics; and like Russian language rules just don’t really work with western names generally which makes sense
b) but unfortunately Shanya does sound just Russian enough to be registered as an actual word and therefore gives a sort of a vibe, which fully ruins the sentence for me. I can’t even explain the vibe, but it’s the side of condescension hiding somewhere within the word, not a way you’d address the lover but a younger pal, possibly on the variety of a playground
Anyway
Lowkey considering implementing a plugin which will automatically replace “Shanya” when I load an ao3 page in my browser; unfortunately I never load an ao3 page in my browser
PS: if you ever used “Shanya” in your fic and don’t speak Russian — it’s totally fine, it’s clear what you were going for; and collective mind let you down
If you ever done it and do speak it, you’re a part of a problem, do fucking better, you are my personal enemy now
Sometimes a fanon interpretation shared by so many people will gaslight you into thinking YOU're not smart enough to understand it when, in reality, no, the collective of a fandom can indeed just be misinterpreting a character beyond parody. It's not you, it's them
frequently, secretly fond of each other.
| the hollanov boston raiders teammates au | COMPLETE, 200k
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28
Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?” “Okay,” Hollander says. He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.
Nobody knows why Shane Hollander dropped out of the 2009 draft at the last second, and a year later it stuns the whole hockey world when he's signed by the Boston Raiders. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston - but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.
please come and appreciate the biggest achievement of my life: the final chapter
An obvious recommendation;
me and R. have spent like hours discussing each chapter as it was coming out; and I’m lowkey thinking about organizing a book club to reread it lol
What a fantastic work, a masterclass on working with canon while not falling into just repeating the sacred texts word by word
Love it, love it, love it
this shit boring as hell
sacred art in sacred space
You're secretly one of the funniest guys I know. Well, that secret, you don't have to keep.
SHANE HOLLANDER (10th of May, 1991) happy birthday to the prettiest boy in the world (✿◡‿◡)
happy 35th birthday to the goat ‼️‼️‼️
mirage (Hollanov, 8398 words, very little sex and a lot of suicide references, poorly disguised character study) Summary: "Ilya discovers that he can control time. Now he's on a quest to prevent his mother's suicide.
Enter Shane Hollander. Enter Shane Hollander. Enter Shane Hollander."
He's been having dreams of finding his mother's corpse.
Which is not a dream exactly — he did find her corpse; age twelve; merely two weeks after his birthday, which — when he got older and meaner — made him wonder whether she'd timed it. Did she have to pull out the calendar they kept on the kitchen wall, go page by page, try to determine the best date for the occasion? Too close to Easter, too close to Labour Day, oh, that's when Grandma's visiting.
In any case, he does not dream of how it actually happened. read the rest on ao3
Ok, for anyone needing to catch up on the 1000x levels of abstractions, how we got to Connie from Admin:
Connie from Admin is an office romance RPF(?) of alter egos of Hudson and Conner (at the met gala).
Who are the actors of Shane and Ilya from Heated Rivalry.
Which is an adaptation of the Game Changer novels.
Which is based on irl Hockey players. But also Captain America fanfic?
Which is based on the MCU.
Which is based on Captain America Marvel comics from the 1940s.
Which was Marvel's direct answer to DC's Superman comics.
Which was named after the 1909 English tranlation by Thomas Common of the concept of the "Übermensch"
Which was a eugenicist concept (later extensively utilised in Nazi ideology) that was created by Nietzsche in Thus Spoke Zarathustra
Which was inspired by Lucian of Samosata, who actually used the term satirically in the 2nd century AD in his Kataplus to make the point that tyrants worshipped like gods are no grander than everyone else in the afterlife, a Menippean satire
Which is a form of prose named after the 3rd-century BC Greek philosopher Menippus of Gadara, a Cynic satirist
Cynicism was founded by Antisthenes, pupil of Socrates
Socrates (4th century BC) according to Plato's Symposium was greatly inspired by Diotima of Mantinea (probably a fictional version of Aspasia of Miletus),
a (presumably older) woman who "instructed him in the nature of love and the "ascent" to true knowledge."
So really, how abstracted from the source are we truely?
What is Connie from Admin, but an older woman instructing Big Hud in the nature of love (making out sloppy-style between filing cabinets) and ascent to true knowledge (how to pre-code invoices correctly).
Hope this helps.
