SallyPejr @sallypejr - Tumblr Blog

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

stavarosthearcane

Good Job.

#this post gets me every time

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

heroofthreefaces

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

#surprise reblog!!

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

roach-works

wow if only you had a time machine

transdaughterofthesun

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

iforgotmyfandom

idiototheinternet

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

lizyarikus

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

anexperimentallife

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

what-if-i-just-did

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

mrsjdavis

POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!

It doesn’t have to

smegorl

Yes it does.

type-blaze0

Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041

angels-haven-official

We all know who needs to be @’d

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

traitorsneverw1

Merthur｜Fable

bgm: Fable- Gigi Perez

This took me a really long and hard time to finish, and I honestly don’t know what else to say except I really hope you enjoy it🥲

blankie-wanky

I grew up with a grandma who quilted, but she’d never been interested in passing along the hobby, so when she finally kicked it I was the grandkid who got all her materials, ‘cause I was the only one who knew how to use a sewing machine. Then, in 2015, a friend had a baby and I figured I’d make her a quilt, ‘cause how hard could it be?

god

Luckily I am the stubbornest human alive, ‘cause I never woulda finished otherwise. I didn’t know what I was doing, didn’t know the terms to look up how to do anything, I musta reinvented the wheel like eight times and it took ten months, BUT I DID IT.

Figured I’d suffered enough and would never do it again and now I’m on quilt #9 smdh

————————–

I’m hyperventilating.

Holy shit. Holy SHIT.

This is INCREDIBLE.

Oh my god.

I’ve gotta go lay down holy shit look at this how do we just walk by other human beings every day and live our separate lives when there’s a person sitting next to you on the train or in line for coffee who goes home and makes things like this what even IS being human holy shit.

GOOD FUCKING JOB.

awheckery

Oh heck I did not expect the notes to blow up on this, UM

Okay so on a purely technical level, this is not that difficult, you just gotta come at it a little sideways.

The background of this sucker is just rows of 1.5″-wide fabric strips. I can’t remember the exact pattern, but I wanna say it was something like one row 6″ strips, one row 4.5″ strips, one row alternating? I don’t remember exactly, it was a while ago. That’s not difficult, you just lay it out and sew it all together one row at a time. It’s not hard, just tedious.

The fish are a lil different. I can’t draw, there is a disconnect somewhere and my hands are stupid, so I figured out probably fifteen years ago that tracing was the way to go. For this, I legit just yanked several photos of fancy-looking goldfish off the internet and traced over ‘em in Photoshop.

Once I had enough, I printed my outlines, laid ‘em out on the background to create the idea of movement, and then traced the outlines out on fabric and pinned the hell out of ‘em.

This woulda been WAY easier with Heat ‘N Bond, but I didn’t know that was a thing at the time. From there I just used just about every fancy stitch on my inherited sewing machine to make the fish STAY WHERE I PUT THEM, and also look good.

I have since learned this is called “raw edge applique” but whatever. It’s fun, it’s neat, you can do it with a bunch of stuff and impress the hell outta people. More recently, it’s how I’ve gone from this:

to this:

(this was another project I SUFFERED over unnecessarily, because I’m the dip that decided to quilt the waves, like a moron)

god that sucked but it looked SO COOL when I was done!

ms-demeanor

I’m very sorry to tell you that if you thought we would be less impressed with you after this update you were very mistaken. I’ll say again:

Holy. Shit.

rhythmelia

@awheckery that is absolutely mindbogglingly gorgeous work *___* Also clearly you subscribe to Go Big or Go Home (and cry about stitchery) You are such a Stitch Witch, amazing <3

awheckery

Aw man, that is the most hilariously accurate assessment of my life; in my fam, if you don’t Go Big, did you even try? I am constitutionally incapable of half-assing anything, which is why the goldfish quilt is also, um. a chenille quilt.

The back is plushy as hell and looks like this:

If you look at the front again, you notice those diagonal lines don’t go through the fish, and yet cross the entire back. Please don’t ask me how I did that. It made me so sad and used so much thread, there’s at least a mile of thread in this quilt, but bY GOD IT’S SURVIVED FOUR YEARS WITH AN EXUBERANT TODDLER AND IT’S STILL IN ONE PIECE

quigonejinn

as the friend with the exuberant toddler who has the honor of having not just this quilt but the matching pillows in her home, i wanna chime in and say that this is

EVEN MORE GORGEOUS AND LOVELY IN PERSON.

AND IT’S WASHABLE

awheckery is too modest to mention it, but the quilt is loaded up with real specific meaning – I’m Chinese-American, and there are eight goldfish on the quilt and a ninth on an accompanying pillow. Nine is a homophone in Chinese for “always”, “gold” is a metonym for wealth and prosperity, and “fish” is a homophone for the word for abundance, so putting nine goldfish on something for a new baby is a lovely Chinese way to wish them good luck and abundant prosperity in life.

And the pillow shown above is symbolic, too! You’ll notice that the two ships up top. My family is ethnically Han Chinese from Hong Kong, so awheckery put a distinctive Chinese ship up there, and my husband is Norwegian, so that’s a Norwegian schooner. And then the three whales underneath are me, the husband, and our wee little whale.

Please note that I did not know ANY OF THIS WAS COMING. They just FIGURED THIS OUT ON THEIR OWN and by polling friends in our shared fandom, and one day the quilt with the blanket showed up at my house, and I screamed so loud that my husband came running. And then we got the pillows a little bit later, and I may have screamed again. awheckery is one of the most talented humans I have ever had the pleasure of knowing or meeting.

I’ve told OP that if my house is ever on fire, I’m grabbing the kid and the quilt in that order. The husband can go find our wedding photos.

DID I MENTION THIS IS WASHABLE

archfey-edda

Guard shenanigans.

First attempt at a colored comic. Guard comics - current | next > (also, the ao3 colletion)

crabussy

hi gang. reminder that we are some of the best sweaters in the animal kingdom (second only to equines) allowing us to stay cool and keep moving in hot weather. we have 10 times the density of sweat glands compared to other great apes.

we are ALSO insanely good at smelling rain (specifically geosmin, found in the soil and activated by rain) with the ability to smell 10 parts per trillion. this is speculated to have helped our ancestors survive!

we ALSO have absolutely batshit diets compared to most other animals. caffeine and chocolate are completely toxic to most animals but we can eat it without even feeling sick. even avocados are severely toxic to many animals to the point where it can be fatal to eat, but humans love it!!!

we are ALSO the best endurance runners ON EARTH out of ANY other species. we beat horses in endurance running. you know, the animals that gradually evolved away most of their toes in order to be the best runners?? yeahhh.

and to top it all off. our lifespan is unusually long for our species' weight/mass. typically, the bigger a species is, the longer its average lifespan (e.g. weasels live for 1-2 years, whales can live over 200) but we're very small for how long our average lifespan is. big cats like tigers live around 14-15 years, brown bears 25 years, yet here we are expected to live around 75-85 years. that is NUTS.

humans as a species are so extremely cool. it's not just our intellect that makes us amazing. we may not be the fastest or the strongest in the animal kingdom but we're super cool in many other ways. next time you sweat you can go wow!!! humans are so cool I'm able to keep moving because of my absolutely insane number of sweat glands! thank you evolution!

myvalzpival

Milé čumblrstvo, cítíš-li se nedobře, přijmi prosím tyto dary, kreré ti pomohou přežít noc a cítit se v bezpečí 🌞

Tady je celá série večerníčku Maxipes Fík

Tady je hodina Macha a Šebestové k tabuli!

Tady je playlist audiorozprávek Hurvínka

Tady je recept na krupicovou kaši

Tady je recept na nouzovou polévku

Tady je recept na bramboračku

Tady, tady a tady jsou zdarma knížky v PDFkách

Tady je playlist české muziky z let 2000-2020

Tady je playlist epizod Věřte nevěřte

Tady je playlist epizod Comebacku

Tady je playlist hrozně moc československých seriálů (jsou tam i Chalupáři!)

Tady je pussywalk pro pamětnictvo

Tady je Kovyho hudební očistec

Tady jsou Kovyho virální legendy

Tady je livestream náměstí v Dvoře Králové nad Labem???

Tady je livestream ptačí budky

Tady je livestream Záchranné stanice Makov

Tady je playlist her Járy Cimrmana

Tady je Kouzelná školka z roku 2008

Tady je playlist epizod Pana Dubínka

Tady je playlist epizod pohádky Líza

Tady je JETIX CZ SK, kde najdete všechny pohádky z Jetixu v češtině a slovenštině

Tady je playlis epizod mého oblíbeného superhrdiny Klíšťáka

Můžete přidávat další milé věcičky. Hlavně na sebe dávejte pozor a mějte se rádi 💖

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

sindri42

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

roach-works

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction

championofdnd

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

beating this dead horse with memes

hjartasalt

Mods are asleep post forbidden tits

Huh

Huh

Huh

Hhhhhhh

Perfectly balanced as all things should be…

0v9

lexeirikrleif

fruitloopghosty

offbrandbeethoven-blog

balance

Huh

phew

I balance

Perfectly even pair of tits

Final/Part 4: Messing with straight hair!

💬 3 🔁 1719 ❤️ 2655 · Post by @donutsbagels · 7 images · Okay I JUST realized I never posted these on here—- BUT BASICALLY, about a year an

Part 3: Combining shapes, braids, and textures! And utilizing parts and fros!

💬 0 🔁 290 ❤️ 409 · Final/Part 4: Messing with straight hair!

Part 2: shape, style, and length with femme styles!

💬 7 🔁 779 ❤️ 1177 · Part 3: Combining shapes, braids, and textures! And utilizing parts and fros!